


The Boy with The Most

by Eevee2



Category: Total Drama (Cartoon)
Genre: Chris has a heart, Harem, M/M, Multi-ships, Polyamorous Character, Yaoi, only for his son
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:35:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 46
Words: 88,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26150488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eevee2/pseuds/Eevee2
Summary: Kaylub McLean is the son of the Host with the most, Chris McLean. His father got a new show deal to make a reality show with crazy teens. He wasn't expecting to be forced into competing as well. Now he not only has to keep his relationship with the host a secret, but also compete, and survive his father's crazier challenges. Welcome to Total Drama.Total Drama Island-Chapters 1-27Total Drama Action-Chapters 28-???Updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday
Relationships: CHris McLean & Original Male Character, Duncan/Original Male Character, Mal (Total Drama)/Original Character(s), Manitoba Smith/ Original Male Character, Mike/Original Male Character(s), Noah (Total Drama)/Original Male Character(s), Scott (Total Drama)/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 39
Kudos: 100





	1. Welcome: Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Twenty-two campers arrive with the hopes of winning, but an unexpected twenty-third member might throw some of the campers for a loop. Welcome to Total Drama Island.

"Come on, kid, it'll be great!" Chris McLean said to a unamused me while we were on a boat to an island somewhere in Muskoka, Ontario.

Hi, I'm Kaylub McLean, the son of a actor who recently got a gig to host a new reality t.v. show. We look so much alike with our matching raven locks and obsidian eyes that many assume I'm his clone. The only real difference is that I am a lot paler due to my resignation of ever seeing the sun. Also our personalities seemed to differ as well. I'd rather stay out of the spotlight while my father craves it, but I also support him in every way. Every show he's ever been in, since I was born, I was right there with him in the shadow of the studio, or in the crowd, watching him shine. 

I sigh and play with my black hoodie string before looking up to see his puppy eyes which makes me sometimes wonder which of us is supposed to be the child. I roll my eyes and sigh again.

"Fine, but if I suddenly turn into a burnt marshmallow, you're buying me every single pokemon plush there is." His chuckle had me giggle back as he pulled me into a hug.

"It's a deal. This could be an amazing new start." I hugged him back agreeing with him.

I was standing further on the mainland looking out towards the dock where my dad was with a cameraman. They were going to start shooting soon. I adjusted my hoodie around my waist as my black semi-see through top with stars and moons on it was a lot cooler. I didn't realize how warm it would be. Curse me and my undying love for black clothing. I thought as I reached into my pocket and pulled out a lollipop which I popped into my mouth.

I watch as soon dad returns back to his place on the dock and a boat starts to roll up. Time to meet the contestants. I thought as I ran a hand through my short locks that fell to my shoulders. I rotated the lollipop inside my mouth with a flick of my tongue as the first contestant gets off the boat. I wasn't allowed to view the audition tapes so this would be my first look at them, but I did know that the application said that they'd be staying at a five-star hotel and well... I giggle looking around at the less than one-star camp we're filming at. Mainly I was watching for their reactions.

The first one was a girl with brown hair and glasses, who ran up and hugged my dad. I giggled knowing my dad's feelings on his look. Next was a black boy with a cap on, and the two high-fived. A girl with black hair and blue highlights was next and she seemed goth. I giggle as I see her tear apart one of the many... many copies of the contract the contestants had to sign to be on the show. A cowboy hatted boy was next as he seemed to be jamming on the boat. He fist bumps dad and then high fived as I blink at the next arrival. It was blonde girl who looked like a model. Next off the boats was a raven haired chick who I got shivers from and I'm not even within eyesight of the contestants. I watch as the first girl goes up to her and she cringes away. Then I see him... the next contestant was leaning on a speaker and he screamed juvenile delinquent. He had a green mohawk and a spiked choker. I blinked questioning why my dad thought this was a good idea. The next guy was skiing behind the boat before wiping out landing inside the luggage causing the raven haired to get drenched. I giggled. He thumbed up proving he was ok. Next was a ginger with glasses and a keyboard. He seemed pumped to be at the camp. Nine was a male with raven hair and a guitar. Musician, should be interesting. They do a shake and he goes over to the others. A blonde girl with a surfboard was number ten. She hit my dad with her board and I giggled. She then nearly hits delinquiet and ginger who both duck as musician just leans away twice. A normal looking male with tan skin was next as delinquiet looked like he wanted to fight and the two conversed with delinquent grabbing the normal boys lip before releasing him. Next was a black, big, female who high-fived dad before nearly killing ginger. After her were two girls, one tall, dark, and skinny. The other a bit shorter, lighter, and rounder. They wore matching outfits, bags, and even had matching hair style. Guess they're close. A male in a teal beanie was next as he pointed to the sky and my dad got close to him to tell him something. My dad exchanged finger guns with the next contestant who was a brown haired male who high-fived him before swaggering over toward the females. A new raven haired female arrives wearing a gym outfit and drops her bag onto the previous arrivies foot. Next up was a very excited round male who seemed like the loud kind. I watch as he seeming crushes my dad in a hug and I blink. My dad helps a brown haired, professional looking, female off the boat. She seems to introduce herself, but I got distracted by the next contestant who had me blushing. He was a very attractive raven haired male. I didn't even notice that the last boat had arrived till I saw movement to see the professional female rush over and pull up a ginger female who had fallen into the water. I count all of the teens and nod my head seeing as we had 22. My dad hops onto the boat as all of the contestants move onto the end of the dock of a photo. It takes a few moment's but then the dock breaks and they fall in. I giggle as I see dad coming my way.

"To the campfire with us." I nod following him before standing next to him. I throw out the lollipop stick as I had finished with hit and felt my hair get ruffled before I swat at his hand to hear him chuckle which makes me smile. "What do you think of the campers?" I look up to see matching obsidian looking back at me.

"It seems like it's going to be an interesting eight weeks. Why didn't you let me see the audition tapes?" I see a glisten in his eyes.

"Oh, privacy reasons." I roll my eyes before hearing footsteps and with a quick ruffle of my hair we return to standing next to each other. I was more off to the side and slightly behind my dad.

"This is camp wawanakwa, your home for the next eight weeks. The campers sitting around you will be your cabin mates, your competition, and maybe even your friends. You dig? The camper who manages to stay on total drama island the longest without getting voted off will win $100,000." Delinquent was first to ask a question and soon it spiraled into a Q&A. I watch as soon he goes off to noogie a deer.

"Here's the deal. We're gonna split you into two teams. If I call your name out, Go stand over there." I start putting names to faces. "Gwen, Trent, Heather, Cody, Lindsay, Beth, Katie, Owen, Leshawna, Justin, and Noah. From this moment on, you are officially known as... The Screaming Gophers." I giggle recalling the fact that I named the teams. "The rest of you, over here. Geoff, Bridgette, D.J., Tyler, Sadie, Izzy, Courtney, Ezekiel, Duncan, Eva, and Harold. Move, move, move, move!" I watch as Katie has a breakdown over her and Sadie not being on the same team. That'll need to be fixed real quick. "You guys will officially be known as... The Killer Bass." I was watching a lot of animal planet when he asked for naming ideas. 

Dad goes on to explain the show to the campers and about the multitude of cameras. 

"Any questions, no? Cool, let's go find you cabins." We head out to where the two cabins are and I pull out another lollipop.

"Gophers, you're in the east cabin. Bass, you're in the west." I stick with dad as soon we're both in front of Cody who has grass in his mouth. I offer him a lollipop to help get the taste out of his mouth. He smiles at me as I blush a bit looking away.

"Excuse me, Chris," Geoff calls out catching our attention. "Is there a chaperone of any kind in this facility?"

"You're all 16 years old," I'm 14, "as old as a counselor in training at a regular summer camp. so other than myself, you'll be unsupervised. You've got a half an hour to unpack and meet me back at the main lodge starting now."

We both head off to eat some actual food as I know that isn't what's being served at the main lodge. I was thinking of the contestants while eating soup. I was curious on how they would all interact and how much chaos they could handle.

"We should go see the contestants," my dad said as he got up and left. I rushed to follow him. We enter to see the campers eating.

"Welcome to the main lodge."

"Yo, my man," Geoff started. "Can we order a pizza?" with that a cleaver comes flying towards us and lands in the wall. I look towards the kitchen and see Chef Hatchet, a black man who is ex-military, glaring and holding a rather sharp knife. I giggle softly as the campers seemed terrified.

"Your first challenge begins in one hour." I follow my dad out and we both head up to the cliff where the campers first challenge awaited.


	2. Welcome: Part 2

Everyone was on the cliff as I stood with my dad.  
"Okay, today's challenge is three-fold. Your first task is to jump off this 1,000 ft high cliff into the lake. If you look down, you will see two target areas. The wider area represents the part of the lake that we have stocked with Psychotic... hehe man-eating sharks. Inside that area is a safe zone. That's your target area. Which, we're pretty sure is shark free. For each member of your team that jumps and actually survives. There will be a crate of supplies waiting below. Inside of each crate are supplies that you'll need for the second part of the challenge: building a hot tub. The team with the best one gets to have a wicked hot tub party tonight. The losers will be sending someone home. Let's see, Killer Bass, you're up first." After that it's silent. I giggle before speaking up.  
"All stunts are tested to ensure survivability." That seemed to put a lot of them to ease as I share a look with dad. I recall how Chef was the one to test the stunt due to the other interns being in the hospital and he didn't make it into the safe zone, but he did survive. Dad and I agreed that it was safe enough.  
Bridgette was first and made it and Tyler followed only to land on a buoy that made me wince and cover my lower half. He survived. Geoff, Eva, and Duncan all jumped and survived but then there was D.J. who couldn't do it. I giggle watching my father give him a chicken hat and he heads down the escalator. Ezekiel jumps, hits some rocks, but makes it. Then Harold jumps only to land on the surface of the water, in the safe zone, legs spread making me wince for the second time. What is up with all the crotch pain? Courtney chickens out.  
"Okay let's tally up the results... hold on. That's seven jumpers and two chickens. We're missing two." Sadie makes a fuss about not being with Katie and the two hound my dad about being on the same team. I giggle watching him get annoyed. Izzy offers to switch. "Fine, girls, you're on the Killer Bass now, Izzy you're with the Screaming Gophers. That means you're up, girls." The two jump holding hands and make it.  
"Alright that's nine jumpers and two chickens. Gophers, if you can beat that we'll throw in a pull cart to put your crates on." I watch as no one jumps. An argument breaks out between Leshawna and Heather.  
Leshawna then throws Heather into the safezone, jumps and makes it along with Lindsay. Gwen, Cody, and Izzy all make it, but Justin became the first not to make it into the circle. The sharks go to attack, but stop and bring him to shore. Guess sharks find him hot too. Beth doesn't jump wearing the chicken hat. Trent jumps and makes it as Noah jumps as well only to flash the cameras with two middle fingers. That's getting cut out. I watch dad pull out a megaphone.  
"Okay, campers, there's only one person left. You guys need this jump for the win. No pressure, dude." Wait for it, "okay, there's pressure." I giggle at him. Owen puts on floaties as me and my dad watch him.   
"Take a good run at it, buddy. You can do this." My dad said as I raised my brow.  
"I'm going to die now. I'm going to freakin' die now." He jumps and makes a tidal wave. I look at my dad who smiles.  
"The winners, The Screaming Gophers!" We head down to the campground and wait for the campers.   
"I still can't believe he jumped." I say as I hold my lollipop in my hand. My dad nodded. Soon we see the campers approaching.  
"Remember you can only use your teeth to open the crates. I came up with that one." I giggle watching them open the crates. "Keep an eye on them. I'm gonna go check the Bass." I nod as he hops on a motorbike and heads off.  
"So, who are you?" I jump slightly as I look at Noah. Deciding it's best not to reveal my relations with the host I jump to the first thing I could think of.  
"I'm Kaylub, I auditioned for the show, but didn't get accepted. They sent me an email asking me to arrive earlier then you guys and I've been tailing Chris since." Noah nodded before we both noticed the other team arrive. He returns to his team as I notice that Katie and Sadie are both missing and Courtney's eye was swollen. I bite back a giggle at her predicament.   
I was taken by the arm and dragged off by my father. We were walking around.  
"Nice, alibi, though why you didn't tell the truth has me curious." I shrug.  
"If I had told them, it would spread like wildfire and then they'd be all over me like flies on chef's food trying to bribe and cheat their way to winning." He nods and then ruffles my hair. I smile before seeing him check his watch.  
"Let's head on back, camper." I blink at his choice of word since he never says something without a reason, but I shrug it off for now and follow him.  
Once back we see that the Gophers actually have a functional hot tub while the Bass have a Ikea version when you try to build it without the manual. Dad checks both and gives the Gophers credit for their amazing hot tub, while I suppress a giggle when he gets squirted in the face by the Bass' hot tub.  
"Well, I think we have a winner here... The Screaming Gophers." The Gophers cheer as I smile. "Gophers' you're safe from elimination and you get to rock this wicked hot tub all summer, bonus." They cheer again. "What can I say, Killer Bass, sucks to be you right now. I'll see your sorry butts at the bonfire tonight." We head off to go eat real food.  
My dad kicks me out soon after I finish talking about producer stuff and I take a walk only to bump into someone. I fall back and land on my butt.  
"Sorry," I looked up and see I had bumped into Delinqu- I mean Duncan. He was looking down at me almost like a predator would their prey and I blush lightly getting to my feet.  
"Whatever, shortstack, just watch it next time." He kept walking as I rolled my eyes at the nickname.  
"Delinquite," I mutter to myself.  
"What did you just say to me?" I turn to him and give an innocent smile.  
"Nothing." I pop a lollipop into my mouth and continue my walk. I can hear him grumble something behind me, but I just kept smirking to myself as I headed back to my dad.  
It was time for the first bonfire of the show. I was standing next to my dad holding the plate of marshmallows and really wanted to snatch one up for myself. I also found out what Ezekiel said about females and knew for a fact he was going home.  
"Killer Bass, at camp marshmallows represent a tasty treat that you enjoy roasting by the fire. At this camp Marshmallows represent life. You've all cast your votes and made your decision. There are only ten marshmallows on this plate. When I call your name, come up and claim your marshmallow. The camper who does not receive a marshmallow tonight must immediately return to the dock of shame to catch the boat of losers, That means you're out of the contest and you can't come back... ever." He starts the marshmallow giving ceremony as I hold the plate.  
Geoff, Tyler, Katie, Bridgette, D.J., Harold, Sadie, and Duncan all come up and retrieve their marshmallows leaving Ezekiel and Courtney left without them.  
"Campers, this is the final marshmallow of the evening." He builds up the suspense that I'm so used to feeling that I just smile watching the last two have nearly full on panic attacks before finally giving it to Courtney.   
"Can't say I'm shocked. I saw you picking your nose, dude, not cool. Dock of shame is that way, bro." We watch him leave. "The rest of you, enjoy your marshmallows. You're all safe, for tonight. And as a little bonus, you get a new team mate." I blink confused, before realization hits me.  
"Meet Kaylub, he's the 23 competitor as a surprise. He's now a Killer Bass." He was beaming.  
/"Welp, guess this is how it's going to go." I sigh looking at the camera.\  
I walk back with the rest of the team feeling a certain set of teal eyes on me. I turn and see Duncan smirking which sends a shiver down my spine and causes a blush. Stupid lack of human interaction thanks to my dads job.   
"Guess we're on the same side now huh, shortstack." I roll my eyes once again.  
"Whatever, Delinquente." I say turning back around and heading to the cabin. Unlucky for me the only bunk available was above Duncan. He smirks as I climb up.  
Why dad, just why. I sigh before curling up with my victini plush falling asleep.


	3. Insomnia

I was up well before dawn. I was panting heavily before releasing my death grip on Victini and taking a breath. I get up and get dressed putting on my fingerless, elbow length gloves before slipping on my hoodie. I went for a bit of an early morning walk to regain myself and soon returned to camp seeing my dad holding a megaphone and an airhorn. I giggle knowing what's about to happen. I walk up beside him as he presses the button making a loud sound that startles awake the others. Leshawna was first to complain.  
"It's 7 in the morning. Do I look like a farmer to you?" Soon everyone was up and dressed. I stood next to Eva who was listening to her Mp3 player. Cody goes to touch it only to nearly have his finger chewed off and growled at. I pet Eva down from her hostile place as she relaxes.  
"Morning! Hope you slept well." Heather then proceeds to compliment my father as I roll my eyes. "Okay, I hope you're all ready because your next challenge in exactly one minute."  
"Oh, excuse me, Chris, I don't know if that's enough time to eat breakfast," Owen asks in concern. I giggle hearing my dad's response about having to run 20 km around the lake.  
"Oh, so you're funny now. You know what I think would be funny." She is then grabbed and held back from Chris by Duncan and Geoff who find this normal.  
"Eva, try to control your temper." Courtney whispers as I nod to her when we make eye contact. She relaxes only to glare. "You're enjoying this aren't you?"  
"A little. You have thirty seconds."  
/"Over the three day break, I hung out with Eva the most. Gotta know your teammates right? She's a bit short-tempered, but if you manage to know how to deal with it and keep a leveled head during her fits, you'll find she's an amazing person. And she could also knock the socks off of anyone who dares try to mess with you." I giggle recalling the time she nearly killed Duncan who tried to mess with me while we were hanging out.\  
We were all at a starting line as I was by Eva.  
"Okay runners, on your marks, get set, go!" I look to Eva who nods allowing me to piggyback on her as we head towards the lodge. I knew I weighed like nothing to her and I was able to create a cooling shadow over her to defy the heat of the sun. To say it got us there easily is an understatement.  
Soon most of the people were in the cabin as I watched my dad file his nails.  
"Clear a table stat!" I look to see it was Owen carrying an unconscious Noah. I raise a brow as I recall he was one of the few who actually could run, maybe not the longest runner, but better than Harold. Speaking of the ginger he entered the cabin last after Leshawna. The Gophers cheer, including Noah who pops back up completely fine. Knew it.  
"Whoa, there! Hold your horses, guys. That wasn't the challenge. Who's hungry?" He then presents a buffet which I immediately call fishy. The others dig in without another word as I only take a few cinnabons and a glass of chocolate milk.  
"What, do you actually like the crap chef serves?" I look to see my personal tormentor, Duncan, looking at me while he stuffs his face.  
"I don't eat a lot on a normal basis." I hid my suspisions on why dad was doing this. I hear him scoff only to hear a growl as well.  
"You got something you wanna say?" It was Eva and Duncan raised his hands in surrender.  
"Nah, I got more buffet to eat." He walks off as Eva sits next to me.  
"You need to eat up." I giggle at her concern and shake my head.  
"I'm good, keeping myself small makes me the cutie you protect right?" She scoffs and ruffles my hair before going off to eat more.  
The others were a groaning mess when my dad returned with his megaphone.  
"Okay, campers, time for part two of your challenge." The others were confused as I watched from the bench. "Um, let me think about that... No! It's time for the Awake-a-thon! Don't worry, this is an easy one. The team with the last camper standing wins invincibility." Gwen's the first to piece it together.  
"So, what you're saying is the 20k run and the turkey-eating frenzy were a part of your evil plan to make it harder for us to stay awake?"  
"That's right, Gwen."  
"Man he's good." I nod.  
"Move! Move! Move!" Everyone else leaves ahead as I walk next to my dad.  
"You do know I'll easily win this right?" I see him smirking at me and I instantly regret saying that.  
"We'll see, kid, we'll see." He then goes off as I sit with my team on one side of the campfire.  
12 hours pass and everyone's still awake... except they all got my signature darkness under the eyes.  
"This should be a piece of cake for you huh, shortstack?" I look to see Duncan smirking despite the fact that he looked like he would pass out in any given moment.  
"Yeah, hey did Chris say anything about us staying on our teams side?" Duncan raises a brow but shook his head.  
"Cool." I get up and go over to the Gophers before sitting down smirking at Duncan who looked offended that I switched sides just to avoid him.  
"What are you doing here?" I looked to see Noah had taken a spot next to me. I shrug.  
"Felt like sitting somewhere different. That a problem?" He scoffs before shaking his head.  
"It's still surprising that you're now a competitor."  
"Why?"  
"I was hoping you wouldn't be as lame as the others and we could hang out." I giggle at the insult hidden in the complement.  
"I mean there's no rules against us hanging out just because we're on opposite teams." He chuckles and nods figuring I'm right. I hear him yawn. "Hey," I flick him to see him glare at me. "Awake-a-thon, you're not sleeping that easily."  
"What happened to being on different teams?" He lays down on the ground as I follow suit looking up at the stars that started to appear.  
"I don't want to lose my talking buddy so soon. How well do you know your constellations?"  
"Very... *yawn*... why?" I smile at him.  
"Show me." I watch him trace the stars in the sky and when a cold breeze passes by, I move closer.  
24 hours in and we're still tracing stars, but instead of constellations already known, we're making our own. We both hear a scream and sit up to see it was Tyler. Hallucinations. I look and notice that many were either asleep or very close to falling asleep.  
"Congratulations, campers. You've made it to the 24-hour mark. Time to take things up a notch." My eyes widen as I see Chef in a lamb costume, that reminds me of an earlier onesie I owned, and my dad revealing a stack of fairy-tales. He smirks directly at me. "Fairy-tales." I glare back.  
/"I have two sleeping weaknesses. Cuddles, and storytime. If I get cuddles, I'm out in a matter of seconds once I hear the beat, storytime takes a few minutes, combined the two and I'm done the second my eyes close."\  
I watch as the others fall asleep or get even more sleepy. I giggle and shake my head witnessing Cody wake up from Owen farting in his face.  
"Idiot." I giggle at Noah's comment before the two of us go back to constellation creation ignoring the stories. We then both hear a crash seeing D.J. fall after tying himself to a tree.  
"Timber," I say as Noah scoffs.  
40 hours in and we’re both still awake. I hear footsteps and look to see Owen's clothes. I blink and lay back down shaking my head.  
50 hours in and it seemed everything was the same.  
"His eyelids are painted, I saw it!" I hear Eva shout which breaks me out of the trance of Noah's voice. We both sit up and look as dad rushes over to investigate.  
"That is so freaking cool! But you're still out dude."  
"Ooo, so close." I giggle at Noah before we fall back into a rythme.  
I didn't even realize the arm around my waist or the fact that I was falling asleep until I heard screaming which caused me to pop up in alarm and mid-panic only to realize there's no one near me.  
"You six stay with me." I get up and stand next to Eva with a smile. "The rest of you go and get a shower, for heaven's sake." It appeared to have been 84 hours. "I didn't want it to come to this. I said that to Chef Hatchet last night. I said, "Chef, I don't want it to come to this." But darn it these campers are tough. And so I've come up with the most boring, sleep-inducing activity I can find." I smirk.  
/"I survived the fairy-tales, there's nothing he can do now."\  
"The history of Canada, a pop-up book. Chapter one..." Oh sweet merciful death take me now. I internally cried as his slow drawn voice drilled holes in my head. I blocked out the story focusing on singing in my head the many songs I knew and only when he stopped did I realize it’s just Duncan, Gwen, and I.  
"Time for a bathroom break. Any takers?" I shake my head  
"I've held it this long, sweetheart." I hear Duncan say to Gwen. "I can go all day." He looked like he really needed to go.  
"Yeah, but can you hold it for another 10 chapters?" He gets up.  
"You've got five minutes. Long as you don't mind a little company."  
"Fine, but stay out of the stall." We both sigh as Duncan leaves.  
"Think you can last without Trent?" She smirks at me.  
"Yeah, how about you?" I see dad receive a paper.  
"Seems Duncan is napping on the can. That leaves you two." I smile knowing I was going to win seeing how Gwen was swaying.  
"Sleepy time~ Sleepy night time~" I knew that tone. I look to see dad smiling softly as a comfort. "Close your eyes~ It's alright~ Rest and sleep tight~"  
I woke up to angry shouts and realized I was back in my room. I sigh knowing I would be the one sent home due to being the last stand between failure and victory. I exit my room to see Eva throwing a fit in the girls room.  
"Eva~" I cry in a childish voice. I didn't really care if I sounded like I was five. I was tired and someone woke me up. I was wiping my eyes with the sleeves of my oversized hoodie.  
"Sorry," her voice was soft. "go back to sleep. I'll be quieter now."  
"What wrong?" I asked, seeing the mess on the main ground.  
"Someone stole my Mp3 player and I need my music." I nod understanding her.  
"-Drop it?" I see her tilt her head. "Could have dropped it." I then notice Heather coming up and she pulls out Eva's Mp3. I go back inside and crash on a bunk not having the energy to climb up into mine. I feel arms around me and I snuggle into a chest.  
It's time for the elimination ceremony and I lean against Eva who allowed me to curl up on her lap.  
/"Okay, if I don't get enough sleep after a long period without rest... I turn into a toddler." I look away from the camera with a bit of a shy blush.\  
"You've all cast your votes and made your decisions. There are only ten marshmallows on this plate. When I call your name, come up and claim your marshmallow. The camper who does not receive a marshmallow must immediately return to the dock of shame, catch the boat of losers, and leave. And you can never come back, ever." The first name called happens to be my own, but I whine when I have to get up, but instead Duncan hands me mine, after retrieving his own, as I remain on Eva's lap.  
Bridgette, Courtney, Katie and Sadie, Tyler, D.J., and Geoff were all safe. I was confused on why Eva didn't get one. I snuggle closer to her as support and she pats my head.  
"Harold," I whine at the loss of Eva. "Eva, the dock of shame awaits." She gently places me where she previously was and pats my head.  
"Nice. Really nice. Who needs this stupid T.V. show, anyway?" She then kicks dad in the shin. I do giggle at that.  
"Have a good night's sleep tonight. You're all safe."  
"Buh-Bye Eva!" I glare at Courtney only to see her duck from a sharp stick. I giggle at that. "Touchy."  
"I hope you all just realized we lost our strongest member... no offence D.J. If we have a difficult physical challenge that Eva could have easily won. I know who I'm voting for if we end up here again." I glare at Courtney before leaving them and going back to the room where I try to fall asleep.


	4. Dodgeball

"And then I told her-" I couldn't control my laughter as Noah was telling me the funniest story about his school. We were sitting outside the main lodge as a yawn escaped me. Harold's snoring managed to keep all of us on the Killer Bass awake. Duncan and I suffered the most from it due to the Awake-a-thon. I ended up laying my head on Noah's shoulder as I fell asleep again.  
I was shaken awake by Noah when it seemed that we were heading somewhere. I, of course, whine about the loss of warmth. But when we arrive at a court on the beach, I instantly crash onto the bench.   
I wake up to someone shaking me and I whine trying to get away from them.  
"Hey, Kaylub, we need your help." I knew that voice.  
"Shouldn't have voted off Eva." I whine back.  
"If we lose this, we're going to vote you off." I pout as I open my eyes to see Courtney's face in mine. "Good, now wake up Duncan." I blink and look to see him asleep.  
"Really? You woke me up to wake him up because you're all too scared of him." I say with a raised brow as they all nod.  
"We all know you two are close." I raise my brow higher.  
/"Duncan and I aren't close. I just know he can't do anything so I'm not scared."\  
"Just do it!" I sigh and go over to Duncan.  
"Delinquent. If I'm up so should you." I say in his ear as he opens his eyes to glare at me. I point to Courtney to put the blame on her. He gets up and goes over to her.  
"Fine, I'll play... on one condition. You do what I say when I say it." She nods as I go back to the bench only to have my arm grabbed. "Oh no you don't, you're staying awake as well, Shortstack." I stick out my tongue as D.J., Duncan, Courtney, Geoff, and I are all on the court. "Okay, here's something I picked up on my first visit to Juvie. It's called rush the new guy."  
We collect all the balls and then throw them all at Owen knocking him out. The other's cheer as Duncan nods. We do the same thing taking out Leshawna, Izzy, Beth, and Justin giving us the win.  
"Come on, a little effort out there, people." I giggle at Noah's sarcasm as he gets glared down by his teammates.  
"I think we should do the same thing all over again. So, Harold, sit this one out too," Courtney said.  
"But I sat the last one out." Harold complained.  
"It's for the good of the team."   
"I could-" I start only to get instantly shut down by Duncan.  
"You still ain't getting away, Shortstack." I sigh.  
We wiped out the Gophers again earning us a second win and tieing up the teams.  
"Okay, this is it, the final tie-breaking game."  
"Go, team, go," Noah said unenthusiastically as he was staring at his book. I shake my head with a smile. I look to see he had a bit of pink on his cheeks before returning his gaze to his book. I shrug it off.  
"Okay, who's going in?" Duncan asked as we all formed a team huddle  
"I think it's my turn?"  
"No way, we actually have a chance to win this," Courtney says as Harold nods and goes to take a seat.  
"If I'm not-" I get held by my hoodie and look up to see Duncan with a smirk.  
"Still not happening." I sigh.  
"Gophers, Bass, Let's send this sample to the lab and see whatcha you're made of."  
It was a steady game of people coming in and out. I was one of the few to remain on court as I notice Noah never stepping foot on court.  
"Knock em' out. Throw em' out. Rah, Rah." He then gets hit by a ball. I look and see Duncan whistling innocently.  
We continue with Harold finally getting in the game, only to be sentenced to the back of the court, with me. I watch as Duncan gets taken down by three balls and bite back a giggle. It then ends up with Harold and me vs. Owen.  
The gophers cheer realizing it was Harold, and small me.  
"Sorry, dudes, but you gotta go down." I look to Harold who nods and I nod back. Harold does a taekwondo move and I just pop a lollipop into my mouth.  
Owen charges up and both of us skillfully, with a little Ice-skating moves, dodge all the balls.  
"Woah," I smirk at Noah popping out the lollipop to do so.  
"Time out! Time out!" Courtney calls as we both go and sit on the bench.  
"You two got dodge. Where'd you learn to do that?" Duncan asked.  
"Figure skating." We both say in unison.  
/"Yes, I did know that Harold figure skated. It was one of the many skills he ranted off to me. I learned how to figure skate due to my dad." I smile remembering the time we were both just skating on the ice.\  
"Guys, that was awesome. But dodging isn't enough," Geoff said as I nodded.  
"He's right," Courtney started. "To win this, you either have to throw him out, or catch the ball. Can you two do it?" We both share a look.  
"Definitely." I nod.  
We both return to the court and stare at Owen who was holding the ball. I pick up the ball on our side of the court and hand it to Harold.  
"Cowabunga!" Owen chucks the ball with all his might, but it bounces off the ball in Harold's grip which sends him flying into the glass. I catch the falling ball and spin throw it at Owen hitting him. Harold shows he's still holding the ball. Our team cheers.  
"The Killer Bass win!" My dad said as I yelp feeling myself being picked up and placed on someone's shoulder. I see green as I realize I'm on Duncan's shoulder.  
"Way to go, Shortstack. Didn't think you had it in you." I blush lightly and roll my eyes. I hear him chuckle.  
I get curious about who's eliminated so I wait by the dock.   
When I hear footsteps, I turn to see Noah.  
"Got the boot, I see." He scoffs.  
"They just voted off their smartest team member." I giggle.  
"How will they ever win again without you." He chuckles before getting closer. I blink with a blush as he places a quick kiss to my lips. Before I have a chance to question it, he's on the boat and leaving.  
I blush deeper. That was my first kiss.


	5. Hidden Talent

After, finally, getting some sleep thanks to my dad slipping sleeping pills into my food after the dodgeball game, I was awake earlier than the other camper.  
I was returning back to camp humming a song when I heard the loudspeakers turn on.  
"All right, campers, enough beauty sleep. Time to show us what you're made of." I end up at the amphitheater and sit down. I smile when D.J. sits next to me.  
"How'd you sleep?" He asks as I shrug.  
"I got a good few hours down." I see his concern, but I shrug it off. "I'm used to at most 30 minutes of sleep each day so the fact that I'm even getting a few hours is a blessing." I pat his arm. "But I'm glad you're concerned for me."  
"My Mama raised a gentleman." I giggle at him before seeing my dad walk onto the stage.  
"Welcome to our brand-new, deluxe, state-of-the-art outdoor amphitheater. Okay, this weeks challenge is a summer camp favorite, a talent contest." And I'm not participating. Owen gets excited. "Each team has 8 hours to pick their three most talented campers. These three will represent them in the show tonight. sing dance juggle. Anything goes as long as it's legal." I giggle as that comment was aimed at purely Duncan. "You'll be judged by our resident talent scout, former D.J., V.J., and rap legend grand... master Chef who will show his approval via the Chef-o-meter. The team that loses will send one camper home tonight. Good luck."  
We head back to the cabins and I instantly head towards the male side.  
"Wait, we need to decide who's going to be in the talent show," Courtney called as I paused holding the door.  
"I doubt you need me for that." I close the door without a word. I climb up into my bunk and grab out my ipod. I then sneak back out and go to the woods where I play my music singing along to it in a soft voice.  
"You have a really nice voice." I jump and turn to see it's Cody. I blush brightly not used to anyone but my dad hearing me sing.  
"O-oh um... thanks... what brings you out here?" I rubbed the back of my neck feeling flustered all of the sudden.  
"Oh, nothing... have you seen Gwen?" I blink and sigh calming down with a bit of a sting in my chest. Because why would he be here for you? I shake my head as he nods.  
"Sorry,"  
"Nah, it's cool. Guess I should keep looking, you know how it is. Gotta impress the ladies am I right?"  
"Yeah... totally." He chuckles with a nod to me in a bro manner as I just sigh. I'm gay.  
I head back to the amphitheater and see Courtney with bandages on her head and D.J. in a leotard. I raise a brow as he comes over to me. He could tell something was off, but I just motioned to his outfit and then to Courtney.  
"I'm doing a ribbon dance and Bridgette accidentally caused a light to fall onto Courtney destroying her violin. So competing in the show is Geoff on his skateboard, Bridgette is doing a handstand for twenty minutes and me doing my ribbon dance." I nod, and before he could even ask what was wrong I see dad go on stage.  
"Gotta go." I rush over to the seating and sit down.  
"Where have you been, shortstack?" I look up to see Duncan with a smirk and a raised brow. I smile back.  
"Minding my own business." I hear him growl, but he doesn't get the chance to respond.  
"It's the T.D.I. talent extravaganza! Welcome to the very first camp wawanakwa talent contest, where six campers will showcase their mad skills and desperately try not to humiliate themselves. First up for the Screaming Gophers is Justin."  
Justin comes out and shows off his hotness and I'm a blushing mess by the end of his show. I hear grumbling next to me and turn to Duncan to see him looking a bit jealous. I tilt my head but am drawn back to the stage by my dad.  
"Okay, I don't know what that was, but dang you've got some moves, dude. First up for the Killer Bass, make some noise for the big guy... D.J.!" I cheer as he comes out.   
D.J. does his dance, only to get tripped up. He makes a good recovery though. I smile at him.  
"Dainty and yet masculine. Let's see what Grandmaster Chef thinks." We get a two. "So with two down and four acts to go, it's the Screaming Gophers screaming ahead. Next on deck... Trent. Take it away, my bro."  
Trent comes out and performs a song that has me sighing and then I hear the grumbling again and am about to say something when my dad returns to the stage.  
"Nice work, I'm liking your style, dude, and so does Grandmaster Chef." Trent then remains there. "All right, quit hogging my light, buddy." He pushes him off-stage causing me to giggle. "Three down and three to go, and the Killer Bass are totally sucking so far. Let's hear it for Bridgette."  
Bridgette comes out onstage on her hands in a handstand. She burps and I instantly hide behind the bleachers and cover my ears.  
/"I hate vomit. It makes me sick and if I see it or hear it I know I'll vomit too." I gag just thinking about it.\  
I feel a tap on my shoulder and look to see Duncan there with a raised brow. I uncover my ears to hear nothing but the natural sounds of the night.  
"What's up?"  
"I hate vomit." I say as he nods. I was waiting for him to mock me, but it didn't come.  
"Well it's all clear now. Wanna go back to watching?" I blush lightly at the hand offered and nod taking it as he doesn't let go when we sit down. I'm still blushing at this fact as my dad returns to the stage.  
"Welcome back to the T.D.I. talent extravaganza! Welcome back. Okay in a strange turn of events, Bridgette's chunk-blowing fest registered two thumbs up by Grandmaster Chef. But it's not enough to pull ahead of the Screaming Gophers who hold the lead with Trent's love song. So, without further delay, here she is for the leaders... Heather."  
Heather comes out in a ballet outfit, but instead sits down. She pulls out from behind her a book and I follow her gaze to Gwen who looks downright terrified. Oh no, that's her diary. Heather then reads about Gwen's crush on Trent. She stops once Gwen runs away.  
"Well, then, it's down to the final act of the night. Can Geoff and his rad stunts turn it around? I seriously doubt it. Let's find out." It takes a while but Geoff doesn't come out. Instead I see Courtney and Bridgette motion me over.  
"Yes?"  
"You need to do something." My eyes widen larger than ever.  
"No-no-no absolutely not!" I see their eyes pleading but I can't. My heart was racing a mile a minute as anxiety filled my entire being.  
"No one else can do anything."  
"What about Harold?" They both look at me like 'you can't be serious'.  
"Just do it." They put a mic in my hand and shove me out on stage.  
I stood there like a deer in headlights.  
/"Confession time. I have two major fears in my life. The dark and being on stage. I auditioned for the show knowing it wouldn't be in front of an audience otherwise I would have just stayed at home." Or better yet not be in front of the camera.\  
I then see my dad standing there in the shadows between the two teams giving me a motion to focus on him. I take a breath as the darkness he's standing in blocks out the eyes that are on me.  
"I've been staring at the edge of the water  
'Long as I can remember, never really knowing why  
I wish I could be the perfect son  
But I come back to the water, no matter how hard I try  
Every turn I take, every trail I track  
Every path I make, every road leads back  
To the place I know, where I can not go, where I long to be" I feel myself slipping into the song seeing my father's smile.  
"See the line where the sky meets the sea? It calls me  
And no one knows, how far it goes  
If the wind in my sail on the sea stays behind me  
One day I'll know, if I go there's just no telling how far I'll go" My eyes remain locked with his.  
"I know everybody on this island, seems so happy on this island  
Everything is by design  
I know everybody on this island has a role on this island  
So maybe I can roll with mine  
I can lead with pride, I can make us strong  
I'll be satisfied if I play along  
But the voice inside sings a different song  
What is wrong with me?" I go quiet and look down at my hands before looking back at my dad.   
"See the light as it shines on the sea? It's blinding  
But no one knows, how deep it goes  
And it seems like it's calling out to me, so come find me  
And let me know, what's beyond that line, will I cross that line? The line where the sky meets the sea? It calls me  
And no one knows, how far it goes  
If the wind in my sail on the sea stays behind me  
One day I'll know how far I'll go".  
It's silent and I see my dad nod, but the second I hear clapping I'm brought back to reality and run off the stage in a heartbeat and don't stop running till I'm back in the cabin and under my blanket holding Victini close as I try to calm my racing heart.  
"You awake?" I peek out of my covers to see D.J. smiling at me from the door. "You were amazing. We won thanks to you." I nod back to him as he comes over and gives me a chocolate bar which I quickly gobble down. He chuckles. "It must have been scary for you to face your fear like that." I nod again. "I promise you won't have to do that again." I smile.  
"Thanks D.J." He nods as I lay back down.   
I was sitting on the roof when I heard screaming and saw Heather run out of the girls cabin. I couldn't help but giggle. Ah, sweet karma.


	6. Camping

I was sitting with D.J. at the campfire because dad has called us for a challenge.  
"Camper, today's challenge will test your outdoor-survival skills. I'm not gonna lie to you, some of you may not come back alive." Some gasp as I roll my eyes with a smile. "Just joking. All you have to do is spend one night in the woods. Everything you need is at your team's campsite in the forest. You just have to find it." Duncan gets both the map and compass. "Oh... and watch out for bears, lost a couple of interns in pre-production." Courtney takes the map from Duncan. "First team back for breakfast wins invincibility." Dad blows his airhorn. "Well, off you go."  
We head off and I stop realizing we're missing two people. I back track a bit and see the two eating blueberries.  
"Um, Katie, Sadie, you two should stick with the team." They didn't seem to hear me as I just took a seat nearby. I started to hum a little tune.  
Once the two were done they looked around and noticed me.  
"Where's the rest of the team?" I shrugged.  
"You two were so busy eating blueberries you didn't hear me when I said the team left."  
"We should find them." The two then run off before I can say anything. I sigh and gather up some of the berries from other bushes.  
/"I was lucky enough to get a glance at the map, so I know the general direction of camp." Hopefully.\  
I was still trying to find my way when it got too dark and then the fear settled in. I focused on the task at hand. Ignoring the shaking of my hands and the pounding of my heart, I see fire up ahead. I sigh in relief and run towards it only to see no one there.  
"Run!" I looked up to see that the Screaming Gophers were in a tree. I look to see what caused them to be in the tree and notice the bear by the fish. I raised a brow and walked over. They were all worried and screaming for me to run away.  
"Are you lost?" The bear asked as it sounded a lot like Izzy. Then we hear a branch break and Leshawna falls from the tree.  
"Are you okay?" I ask Leshawna as Izzy takes off the bear head. Her entire team goes off on her as I watch.  
"And shouldn't you be with the Bass, unless this is an elaborate plan to spy on us and everything." Heather's glare was strong as I just shook my head.   
"I'm just lost." I look and see that the woods were pretty dark and gulp. "Can I stay here?" I look at them with puppy eyes and I see the girls, and Owen, melt. Trent and Cody had dusts of pink on their cheeks. Even Heather couldn't stay mad.  
"Fine, but only because it's best to keep an eye on the enemy." I smile grateful that I didn't have to wander the woods in the dark.  
"Here, sugar-pie," Leshawna hands me a piece of fish as my stomach growls softly. I nod in appreciation as she just smiles back. Just as Izzy got her fish there's a rumble in the bushes and an actual bear comes out. I sneak off into the tent while leaving most of the fish far away from me.  
The gophers at first believe it to be fake, but soon they're all hiding in the tree.  
"Where's Kaylub?" I hear Cody ask as I blush at his concern for me.  
"He must have bolted when the bear arrived."  
"But it isn't safe out there; what if wolves get him?" I pull out my pocket flashlight and flash it towards the tree through the tent. I hear a collective sigh of relief. Then it starts to downpour. Glad I'm in the tent.  
Soon I wake up and see dawn poking through the trees decorating the forest with spotlights. I peak out of the tent and notice the bear is gone.  
/"I know they're not my team, but I can't just leave them without a chance."\  
"It's morning!" I call up seeing a few jolt at the sudden wake-up call. They all make their way down the tree. Each complained about the conditions of sleep as I picked up the ruined map.  
/"Okay I may not have found my way to my team’s campsite, but I certainly know my way back to the campgrounds." I smile triumphant.\  
I led the way as soon we arrived, but my team had arrived first, minus Katie, Sadie, and myself. I go over to my team as Heather gets upset and pushes Owen over. I blink at this. My father then explains that we're missing Katie and Sadie, who then show up making us lose.   
"All right, Killer Bass, one of your fishy butts is going home. Gophers, you're going on an all-expense-paid trip to the tuck shop!" I shrink feeling glares on me.  
"Shortstack?" I flinch as I had tried to avoid my teammates to avoid their wrath. D.J. was the only exception since he wouldn't be mad at me.  
"Yes, Duncan?" He had a brow raised and his arms crossed waiting for an explanation. "Okay, I was a bit behind keeping an eye on Katie and Sadie, but once they realized they had lost the rest of the team... they took off without me. I tried to recall my way based on the glance I got of the map... but ended up at the Gopher's instead. By that time it was too dark for me to try to find my way back. I had hoped in the morning I'd be faster than the Gophers and reach the rest of the team earning us the win... but Katie and Sadie were still missing, so technically not my fault." I wait for a response with my eyes closed only to get a sigh.  
"I was more worried about you not being with the team in the first place." I blink confused. "I'm not blaming you for the loss, that's on tweedle-dum and tweedle-idiot." He then places a hand on my shoulder. "Now let's go vote one of them off."  
/"I'd hate to separate the two, but if I had to pick it would be Sadie."\  
"You've all cast your votes. The camper who does not receive a marshmallow must immediately hit the dock of shame, grab the boat of losers, and get the heck out of here. And you can't come back. Ever. Now, I can see you're all tired, so tonight, I'll just throw them to you. Savvy?" Courtney, Duncan, Bridgette, D.J., Harold, Geoff, Tyler, and finally I all get marshmallows. It was a bit too close for comfort.  
Katie was the one who got the marshmallow ending with Sadie getting the boot.


	7. Nyctophobia

We were all still at the campfire when Bridgette returned with a still crying Katie who was holding a piece of the dock. Then the Gophers show up offering dessert from their tuck-shop party and Cody comes over and holds out a lollipop which I gratefully take with a light blush.  
"No," we both look towards the scream to see Courtney turning down green jello.  
"What are you on a diet or something?" Duncan asked as I noticed a slight glare in Cody's direction.  
"No! I just don't like green jelly, okay?" Beth then brings it over to D.J. who flips, screaming snake as Cody revils it's just a gummy worm.  
"Sorry for tipping. Snakes just freak me out." I pat D.J. on the back with a light smile.  
"I feel you, chickens give me the creeps, dude." It then spriels into a sharing fest of fears and I slowly try to exit seeing how Tyler was criticized for his fear of chickens.  
"And what about you, shortstack?" I freeze and turn to see all eyes on me. I bite onto the lollipop stick in my mouth and shake my head. "We all shared ours, well except for fear-nothing-Courtney, what's yours?"  
"It's obviously stage fright, you recall how he froze on-stage and then ran?" I quickly nod to Trent's assessment.   
"I'm going to bed now..." I noticed how the path back to the cabins was covered in darkness. "Anybody coming?" I noticed a few of the others sharing looks before we all head back to camp together and I stuck real close to D.J.  
The next morning we were all in the main lodge eating when dad walked in.  
"Campers, your next challenge is a little game I like to call "Phobia Factor." prepare to face your worst fears." My eyes widen as I scream in my head. "Now for our first victims... Heather! Meet us all in the theater. It's sumo time. Gwen, you, me, the beach. A few tons of sand." Why father, why? I wonder which fear he'll make me face? I've shown both. And told the world. "Chef Hatchet, didn't you have a special order for Tyler here today?" Tyler gets a deep fried chicken which turns out to be an alive chicken inside. He screams.  
We start the long lists of fears as Beth and Heather gain points due to facing their fears. Katie and Lindsay are forced to wear bad haircuts and Bridgette is left in the woods for six hours. We're currently burying Gwen.   
"There's enough air in there for an hour, you only need to do five minutes," Trent says leaning over the pit.  
"As long as we decide to dig you up."  
"Not funny, Chris." Gwen cried out.  
"Sheesh! Take a pill."  
"I'll be listening the whole time. Just yell for me if you panic and I'll dig you right up." We finish burying her and it's now up to D.J. to face his fear of snakes.  
"Come on man, you can do this!" I hear Duncan say. The snake blinks, scaring D.J.  
"It's the smallest snake ever, D.J. come on!" I glare at Courtney.  
"Yeah, but it's slimy and scaly...slithery."  
"We need this point, D.J. suck it up!" I glare at her harder as I get up and pat D.J. on the back. He smiles and then allows the snake onto his finger.  
We watch as Trent runs from a mime with two minutes left on Gwen's counter. It was Cody's turn and I was with dad when he gave him the blueprints on how to defuse the stink bomb.  
"What are you going to do to me?" I looked up at him with fear in my eyes. He flinched under the look before giving me an apologetic smile and ruffled my hair.  
"I'm sorry." It was silent the rest of the way back.  
Duncan was next as he was faced with a Celine Dion standee. Courtney was by his side as I was contemplating my own demise.  
"Just one hug and you're done." I watch as Courtney's soft with him and even takes his hand which he pulls away from to go hug the standee and we all go over to him as Courtney hugs him before backing away to smile.  
"Nice job, Delinquent," I say with a smile as he ruffles my hair and I swat at his hand.  
"Hope you can do the same Shortstack." He smiles as I gulp and give a weak smile back. "Let's get something while waiting." I nod and feel a hand in mine as I blush lightly.   
We get a couple of soda's and chips and just relax before I hear an explosion.  
"What was that?" Duncan asked from his place higher up on the stairs  
"Cody blew himself up... I'm going to check on him." I get up but not before hearing grumbling. I look to see Duncan drinking his soda with a glare. I shrug it off and go to find Cody.  
Bridgette runs past me as I blink knowing that we just lost a point and then I feel something slump onto me and breath heavily on my ear and neck sending shivers down my spine as I breath out in surprise. I feel arms on me for support and see that it's Cody covered in garbage.  
"Let's get you back to camp." I blush deeply as he continues to lean on me for support.  
"Thank you," he breathes into my ear causing my blush to deepen as I just nod unable to speak without my voice cracking.  
We all met up as it seemed everyone had done their fear. It was Courtney, Tyler, and I who haven't faced them yet.  
"All right, gang, we're in the ninth inning. Tyler, for your challenge, you need to get into this pen for three minutes with these chickens." Technically Tyler was in the pen with the chickens... he just wasn't facing them and rocking back and forth in a different corner. I sigh knowing we're going back to elimination.  
"Tyler, this is one of the last challenges. Quit being such a girl. You have to do this, or we're going to lose," Courtney was back to being mean.  
"Actually, if you do the math, you can't possibly win, the score is seven to three," Cody said as he was really close to me.  
"Not necessarily. We've got two more challenges set up."  
"I know one of them is Kaylub, but it can't be me. But I didn't..."  
"You didn't have to. We're always watching you and your reactions." Oh no.  
"It's not going to make a difference... unless," I look to my dad who smiles.  
"I'll give you each three points for beating your fears. Now Kaylub, come with me." We are all led to a room. I gulp.  
"I thought we'd be at the theater due to his stage-fright."  
"Nope, he has two fears. You have to remain in this dark room for five minutes." I was already shaking as the door opened to reveal pitch darkness except for where the light from outside was going in. I started to step back. I didn't care if I went home, just don't put me back into the dark. I then feel arms around me and the beating of a heart that calmed me down quickly.  
"You don't have to do it, shortstack. It's fine." His voice was soft and made me feel safe.  
"No it's not, if he doesn't do it we'll lose," Courtney said entering my vision.   
"Hey, he doesn't have to do it if he doesn't want to." I feel the grip on me tighten.  
"I-I can do it." I step out of his hold and instantly miss his warmth and his heartbeat that made me feel safe. I was tempted to lean back into it, but I had to do this... just to spite Courtney. I entered the room and the second the door closed I instantly regretted my decision. I reach for the doorknob only to collapse as my legs give out. I'm shaking terrified as distant, yet so near, screams fill my ears and I am sent back. I try to reach the knob, but it's just out of reach. Tears fill my eyes as I curl up into a ball by the door.   
"Daddy, help me," I cried out as I was close to the door, but too far from the knob.   
Only when arms engulf me pulling me towards a chest as I hear a heartbeat do I dare open my eyes. I look up and see it's my dad holding me. I cry hard into his shirt as he's hushing me gently reminding me how good I was and how proud he is of me for being so brave.  
I was gently shaken awake and opened my eyes to see Duncan there.  
"Good to see you're awake, shortstack. You did amazing, but Courtney couldn't jump, so we lost." I nod.  
/"I had to face my worst fear. Something that causes me so much strife and left me scarred for life and she couldn't deal with a dessert!" I take a few breaths and hear the door open. I look up to see my dad and I see the pain on his face.  
"I shouldn't have-" I hug him quickly which catches him by surprise as he wraps his arms around me and we remain like this for a few minutes.  
"It's fine. I'm just upset that a dislike for something caused us to lose. If it were Tyler who ultimately lost us the challenge I'd be fine with that."  
"Really, chicken boy?" I giggle at his comment and I hear him chuckle back. It was nice to hear and it made me feel better. "Are you ready?" I nod and follow him out.\  
Everyone who faced their fears got a marshmallow as I was the first to retrieve one.  
"There are only two marshmallows left on this plate. The three of you did not complete your challenges today. One of you is going home tonight and cannot return... ever. The next name I'm going to call... is... Bridgette." He loves building the suspense and he does so before Courtney got the last marshmallow.  
I leave after the others start to mock Tyler with chicken puns and D.J. comes with me.  
"Are you going to be okay tonight?" I nod as I climb into bed. I squeeze my Victini push and watch as it glows. The soothing light sends me to sleep.


	8. Boney Island

"Bass, Gophers, today's challenge is a true summer-camp experience, a canoe trip. You'll be paddling your canoes across the lake... to bony island." Dad said the name in a creepy way that had me giggling softly. "When you get there, you must portage your canoes to the other side of the island, which is about a two-hour hike through treacherous, dense jungle."  
"We've gotta pour what?" I look at Geoff with wide eyes.  
""Portage."" A fly flew through the empty space in his head. "Dude, walk with your canoe." He finally understands. "When you arrive at the other end of the island, You'll build a rescue fire that will be judged by me. The first team to paddle home and return their canoes to the beach is the winner of invincibility. Move, campers, move!" We all go running by him. "Oh, wait. One more thing I should mention. Legend has it, if you take anything off the island, you'll be cursed forever." Then thundering happened as I giggled.  
"Yeah! A cursed island. Woo!" I giggled at Owen’s excitement as the others just looked at him confused and scared.  
"Now, get into your canoes and let's have some fun."  
I was going up to D.J. when an arm landed around my shoulder.  
"Let's go shortstack," Duncan then drags me off as I see D.J. smirk. I blush lightly as we get into the canoe.  
"On your mark, get set, paddle!" Dad shoots and we start to paddle.   
It was a quiet ride between Duncan and me. I kept glancing over to Cody as I watched him get striked in the nuts by Gwen... twice. I hear grumbling and turn to see Duncan glaring down and I was about to ask about it but then a fog sets in as we reach the island. I look up and see a skull. Izzy's the first to comment on it as soon we're all running through the forest.   
Duncan decided to carry our canoe on his own with a snarky comment about my height and inability to reach the canoe.  
We all stop when we hear rustling in the bushes and then out of them come the prehistoric beavers my father told me about. I run with my team as we continue to get chased by the beavers, soon they stop giving chase.  
"Which way are we gonna go?" D.J. asked.  
"Left... definitely left." Courtney says as I shake my head.  
"I don't know. I think we should take the one on the right." Geoff brings up.  
"The right train is wider." Bridgette agrees.  
"Which way should we go?" I tense feeling breath against my ear. I hear chuckling as I blush and whirl on Duncan with a glare. The team was already going right and I followed muttering delinquent to which I earned a laugh.  
We were walking when all of the sudden, Geoff collapsed in agony. We all surround him in concern as Bridgette was by his side examining his leg.   
“You’ve gotta go on without me,” Geoff says as Courtney starts to walk off only to get grabbed by D.J.   
“We’re not leaving any man behind. Not on my watch.”  
/”He had the world’s smallest splinter in his leg” I roll my eyes as this is definitely something my dad would do.\  
Geoff gets carried by Harold and D.J. on a canoe as we soon arrive at the beach only to see that the Gopher’s were already there. But we start the fire first thanks to Delinquent and his lighter. Point for delinquent. We now need to make it bigger... much bigger.  
We go around and gather sticks as I had a few in my hands and then notice a soda in my face. I blink and look to see Cody with a smile. I shrug and take a sip of the soda.  
“Thanks,” I head back to my team to see that Harold had just thrown all of our paddles into the fire. Yeah that was smart.  
While the team was going off at Harold, Izzy caused an explosion.  
“We have our fire-building winner. Point for the Gophers!” We then all head over to the canoes.  
“What are we going to do without paddles?” Bridgette asked as the Gophers were going by.  
“You guys can get someone to swim behind the boats and push them. I did this once for a huge like 60-foot yacht. The whole crew had to flutter-kick for eight weeks straight to get to shore and like four of us got eaten by sharks. I didn’t, not me, but it was really insane. Okay later!” I shake my head at Izzy’s craziness.  
“That might work,” Geoff brings up.  
“We need someone big enough to push all of the canoes back. D.J., you’re the only one who’s strong enough.” Bridgette was looking at D.J.  
“You can’t ask him to do that. The dude can’t swim.” I raise a brow.  
“Geoff, I know you’re friends but D.J. is the only chance we’ve got.”  
“She’s right. Those skinny arms aren’t going to cut it.” I pull my arm out of Courtney’s grip with a glare.  
“I’ll do it.”  
“You can’t swim with that kind of injury. You're horribly disfigured.”  
“I can do this. I have to.” D.J. then flutter kicks us all to shore which causes us to crash as I land on top of someone. I blush when I look up and see that it’s Duncan and he smirks down at me wrapping his arms around me.  
“The Bass are the winners!” We cheer. Duncan lets me up as we all return to the cabins.  
It was quiet after hearing a helicopter chase after Izzy as I played pokemon well into the night.


	9. Deerboy

I was doing my normal morning walk when I heard a helicopter go over the cabins.  
“I hope you’re ready for the most challenging challenge yet. Breakfast in three minutes at the campfire pit.” I raise a brow and start heading towards the destination.  
“There you are, shortstack.” I roll my eyes looking up at Duncan who smirks down at me as he sits next to me.  
“Were you worried about me?” I tease only to see a dust on his cheeks before he scoffs.  
“Can’t lose the shortest member on the team in a bush or something.” I glare at him before my dad arrives.  
“Are you ready for today’s extreme max impact challenge?” Owen responds as I just giggle. “Incoming!” Dad starts chucking cans of beans and hits Owen in the head knocking him over. A can comes flying at me and I plan to catch it only for Duncan to catch it and hand it to me. I blush lightly at this and nod taking it from him. “Today’s challenge is about survival. We’re going hunting.” He holds out a paintball gun. I raise a brow.  
“Now that’s more like it.” I look at Duncan while eating breakfast.  
“Isn’t that a paintball gun?”  
“Why yes Harold, it is.” He then shoots Harold.  
“So, no killing?” I ask as he shakes his head.  
“This is the first ever paintball deer hunt. I’ll announce the teams once we get into the woods. So finish breaky.” I tilt my head confused. But we’re already on teams.  
I had already finished my can and chased after my dad.  
“What do you mean teams?” I ask as he looks around us and then smiles at me.  
“You’ll see, deerling.” My eyes widened as he walked off chuckling.  
“And now for the team breakdowns. The Killer Bass hunters are Harold, Geoff, and Bridgette, locked and loaded with Bass blue paint. And using orange paint are the Gopher hunters, Leshawna, Beth, Owen, Lindsay.” Owen cheers again. “You also get these stylin’ glasses and wicked camo caps. The rest of you are now deer.” I sigh watching him pull stuff out of the box. “Here are your antlers, noses, and little white tails.” I already slip mine on as Heather and Duncan complain.  
“There is no way I’m a deer, Shortstack sure, but me no.” I roll my eyes at the comment.  
“What, big strong delinquent can’t take wearing a cute little tail?” I tease as I wiggle my hips making my tail sway.  
“Fine,” I see him put on the getup and smile at him. He scoffs and looks the other way.  
“Deer, you guys get a head start, go!” We all head off for a minute, deer together.  
“I don’t know about y’all, but I’m outta here.” D.J. then gallops away like an actual deer. I blink before shrugging and walking off as well.  
“Start your paintballs! Game on!”  
“Hey, where are you heading off to?” Duncan asked as he caught up to me.  
“Hopefully away from you.” He puts his hand over his heart in fake pain as we both laugh at this. “Nah, I’m planning on checking out the forest, see if I can find an oasis or something away from the cameras.”  
“Didn’t Chris say there were cameras everywhere?” I nod recalling the amount of time it took to ensure there were cameras everywhere.  
“They had to have missed someplace right?” Duncan shrugs and soon we’re walking in silence… minus the cameraman following us.  
“Hey, promise not to light the place up with cameras if we find it?” I ask the camera guy who scoffs.  
“If you manage to find such a place, sure.” I hold out my hand for an agreeance shake and he shakes it back.  
“So, this question has been on my mind…” I look up at Duncan with a raised brow for him to continue. “Are you gay?” My face turned into a tomato as I then booked it hearing him call my name.  
/”Yes, I’m gay… people can be mean you know, so I keep it on the downlow… guess I wasn’t as sly as I thought I was.”\  
I was panting when I finally came to a stop. I blink as I look around the area I had landed in. There wasn’t a single camera anywhere in the beautiful clearing with wildflowers growing and butterflies fluttering about. I smile and place the location in my mind for a later date. I then hear a scream. Cody!  
I rush to the scene to cover my mouth.   
“We need a gurney stat!” I called out to the cameraman who rushed off. “It’ll be okay Cody. I promise.” I held his bloody hand as his eyes came in and out of focus. He was covered in scratches and bite marks. I was more surprised he was alive at all.  
The gurney arrives and he’s lifted up, but the grip on my hand doesn’t loosen and I walk with them back to the camp where he’s taken to the med tent and I see my father. We share a look as he nods and heads off. I looked to one of the cameramen that happened to be there.  
“Inform me if he gets eliminated. I want to be the one to take him to the dock.” I get a nod in response.  
“Attention, Human wildlife and hunters. Please report back to camp. It’s time to show your hides and tally up the scores.” I was still by Cody when the teams arrived.  
“Tsk,tsk,tsk. Stealing from Chef, eating chips in the woods, being mauled by bears. Do you know what I see here? I see a very undisciplined group. I see a disgraceful mess. I see a massive waste of paint product. And I have to say that was awesome!” I blink because I actually thought dad was pissed. “When you guys opened fire on your own team, wicked t.v., guys.”  
“Hey, where are Duncan and Courtney?” Harold asked as I realized they were missing. The two then arrived with their antlers tangled together. I bite back a giggle as Courtney kicks Duncan in the nuts. I mean, ow, but he deserved it.  
“Easy, Courtney, our medical tent’s really only equipped for one at a time, and Cody’s pretty messed up.” Bridgette and Geoff disconnect the two and my dad gets back to talking.   
“Well, since three members of the Gophers are dripping in paint--” Lindsay turns around, “make that four members, and some of them aren’t even deer. I think we have our winner.” We all cheer. “You’re off to a hunting-camp shindig. Gophers, I’ll see you at the campfire ceremony… again.”   
I eat with my team, a bit away from Duncan who keeps looking at me, before I see one of the cameramen summoning me over.  
“Yeah?”  
“You gonna help Cody to the dock?” My eyes widen before nodding with a smile.  
“Thanks.” I rushed to the elimination to see it was down to Heather and Cody.  
“You are all lucky, okay? Very lucky.” I flinch and she doesn’t even know I’m here.  
“Cody, the dock of shame awaits, bro.” He doesn’t move… because he’s in a wheelchair. I notice my dad looking at me. “I guess we can help you get there.” I enter from my hiding place and start to aid Cody down to the dock.  
We wait for the boat as Cody tries to talk through a muffled mouth. I look down at him with a sweet smile.  
“Don’t worry, now that you’re off this terrible Island you get to relax and heal. Honest, I wish I could get voted off, but that’d be bad for personal reasons.”  
“Why did you audition?” My eyes widen as I look to see that Cody was nearly fully healed. He didn’t seem concerned in the slightest.  
“I guess I auditioned because it would make my dad happy. It’s only us after all. It was always his dream to be on T.V. so I guess when I heard about auditions for this show I just knew I had to do it… for him at least.” I was looking up at the stars when I heard the boat arrive and when I turned to Cody I felt arms wrap around me pulling me into a hug.  
“I hope you win.” I blush at his words and nod as he boards the boat.  
I look beyond the dock to see my dad smiling at me and I smile back going over to him he ruffles my hair and pulls me into a hug.  
“I love you, kiddo.”  
“I love you too.”


	10. Pasta De Resistance

After my morning walk, I pass Harold and enter to see the rest of the guys high fiving.  
“What did I miss?” They look at me before Duncan comes over and ruffles my hair as I swat at his hand.  
“Nothing, shortstack.” He winks at me before leaving as I blush. Geoff exits as well as D.J. remained seeing my blush.  
“You know, I think he’s into you.” I roll my eyes, my cheeks still heated.  
“He flirts with Courtney all the time, I doubt it.”  
“He flirts with you more. Just saying.” He then leaves as well as my blush gets brighter.  
“Today’s challenge will test your minds, your teamwork, and your skills in the kitchen.” We were all on the beach as dad had summoned us for another challenge. “You’ll be cooking a three-course meal and serving it to me for tasting. The winners get a reward. The losers will send somebody home. Each team will appoint a head chef to create the theme of the meal and to oversee the cooking. To cook, you need ingredients. Every morning a truck brings us food. Today’s task starts there.” A truck came out of the water as a dolphin was driving it. I blink before shaking my head.  
“We could do a killer Italian theme,” Geoff says as I blink and then smile.  
“Guess we’ve got our head chef,” I say looking at him.  
“Seriously?” We all nod. “Then let’s get grabbing.” We had finished grabbing stuff as, for some reason, I was the only one not carrying anything as Duncan had taken a box from me.  
“Can’t let you hurt yourself, shortstack.” I glare without any malicious intent behind it.  
We return to the kitchen and place everything down.  
“Okay. We got, like, three courses and six people. So everybody, partner up.” I blink at the fact that he said six when clearly, minus him, there’s seven of us. D.J. and Bridgette partner for the main course, Katie and Harold are working on the appetizer and Duncan slings an arm around me.  
“Looks like it’s you and me on dessert.” He winks as I blush.  
“Actually,” I was pulled from Duncan’s hold towards Geoff. “Kaylub is the sous chef, so it seems Courtney will be working with you.”  
“What?” Courtney, Duncan, and I all say at the same time each with varying degrees of disbelief.  
“Come on, Courtney, it’s for the team.” She sighs as soon, we get to work.  
“I can’t believe he did that.” I look to D.J. confused. “He completely blocked Duncan’s shot with you.” I blush and excuse myself going to make sure the table was nice and ready. I hear him chuckle behind me.  
I then hear a scream and go over to the door to see Harold in a speedo. I hear footsteps behind me before my eyes get covered. Too late, dad, I’m already scarred for life.  
“Three hours and counting, guys.” He then leaves as it seems the temperature rises on the Gophers side.  
“I’m also allergic to pineapples!”  
“Just get slicing.” I’m already on the Gophers side with a presence and heat that could rival the devil himself.  
“Leshawna, switch with Gwen.” They blink at my cold tone and the stare I give to Heather.  
“Excuse you, you’re not even on this team. You’re trying to sabotage-” I cut her off real quick.  
“No, I think you sabotaged yourself well enough by telling someone to deal with something that could literally kill them when a simple switch could fix your problem. You already have a team member out due to a concussion, do you really wanna send another one to the medical tent due to an allergic reaction?” It was quiet for a few minutes before Geoff breaks the silence.  
“Okay, Sous chef, why don’t you go get some more whipped cream for the dessert?” I blink out of my coldness and nod heading out.  
/”I don’t know what came over me. I just don’t play around when it comes to allergies. I’ve seen what a reaction can do to a person… and it’s not pretty.” I sigh recalling the time my dad went to the hospital due to an allergic reaction.\  
When I returned, Gwen was slicing pineapples and Heather was without eyebrows. It seemed like something was about to happen on the Gopher team and I smirked ready for it. I then notice sandwiches and go to take one only for my hand to be grabbed by D.J. who shakes his head. I raise a brow and shrug delivering the whipped cream to Courtney.  
Harold gets a lesson by eating his own underwear in the sandwiches. I piece together the whole thing with Harold and the other guys. And I’m about to say something when I hear the door slam shut. I look to see Owen covered in bee stings while Leshawna tosses Heather’s make-up bag to Beth who tosses it to Lindsay, who ultimately locks Heather in the freezer. Time for her to chill out. I giggle at my own pun.  
I then hear a splat and giggling and turn to see Duncan’s head covered in custard. I giggle and walk over wiping a bit from his face before tasting it and giving of a delightful sound.  
“You did good, delinquent.” I see him blush and then scoff.  
“If you wanted a taste you could have asked.” He leans close, blocking me into the table as I blush.  
“Yo, Sous chef, time to present.” I thank Geoff for this clean get away as I hear Duncan grumble something about a cock-block. I tilt my head before exiting and smiling at my dad as Beth places a weird tiki-doll that gives me bad vibes.  
“Your meal is coming right up, sir,” Beth says as I light up the candles on our side of the table.  
“il vostro pasto sarà qui momentaneamente, signore,” I say as he smirks.  
/”I took classes in many different languages… one of them being Italian.” I smirk.\  
We were first up as I noticed from the other team, Owen was missing. Please tell me they don’t have the food addict watching the food? We passed our appetizer and main course with flying colors, it was now the Gophers turn as soon Owen came out with a plate of bones that contained a small morsel of meat on them.  
“Yeah, this looks like it’s, uh, been eaten.”  
“Not all of it. I think there’s a tiny chunk left on that bone… over there. Yeah, there.” My dad takes it and eats it as I blink.  
“You know what… I’ve had worse. Two points.” Owen celebrates. “Ooh, close, Owen. But the Bass still lead 15-11. Time for dessert.” I feel a tap on my bum as I yelp softly and look to see Duncan smirking with a wink. I blush brightly as he and Courtney present the dessert.  
“Eh, six. The Bass have 21, so the Gophers need all 10 points just to tie it up.” Duncan removes the plate as Lindsay places the dessert down and I see the blackened bottom and get a terrible feeling. “I have to say this dessert looks like a winner.” It then disitergates when he pokes it. Don’t eat it. He eats the one little piece left and instantly starts to choke. Pure instinct kicks in and I’m at his back doing the heimlich maneuver till he coughs up a small black ball.  
“What the heck is this?!” Dad and I question at the same time.  
“It’s Heather’s recipe.” Lindsay then remembers that she’s still in the freezer and rushes off.  
“Wait, they locked her in the freezer?”  
“She needed time to chill out.” I get a chuckle out of him as he ruffles my hair before we both see a blue skinned Heather with bushy drawn on eyebrows. I blink as he looks shocked as well.  
“You guys are s-s-s-o dead. Is it over?”  
“It is. The Bass win, 21 to 12. And it’s not just ‘cause I almost died. The ribs sucked, too.”  
“Great. That’s just great. Why do we keep losing, people? And what is this?” She points to the tiki-doll that gives me the shivers. “I didn’t approve this.”  
“I brought it back as a souvenir, you know, from the other island.” My eyes widen.  
“You did what?”  
“You mean Boney Island, the deadliest island in muskoka, the one I specifically said not to take anything from or you’ll be cursed?” I was just shaking my head at this.  
“Yeah. I didn’t know. I’ll put it back.” Beth then runs off.  
“Okay, the Killer Bass continue to lead with eight members to the Gophers soon to be six. And as promised, the winners will be enjoying a reward tonight-- a five-star dinner under the stars.” We all cheer as Duncan pulls me into a hug and I blush deeply.  
When we’re eating the five-star dinner, I feel eyes on me and look to see Duncan looking at me as I blush deeply. He chuckles and moves closer to me and wraps an arm around my waist.  
“Cute.” I blush leaning into him as we watch the stars.  
“If you ever block me from my shot with Kaylub, I will personally pumble your face in.” I was blinking away the tears in my eyes when I heard what sounds like Duncan.  
“Sorry, my man, didn’t know you swing that way.” I climb down from my bunk and peek out the door seeing Geoff and Duncan talking.  
“Why wouldn’t I? He’s absolutely adorable and seeing that red face of his is the best reward.”  
“Thought you were into Courtney?”  
“Princess, stick-up-her-butt? Yeah she’s hot and got a nice bod, but she’s no shortstack.” I blush and yelp rushing back up into my bunk when I see them turn coming back into the room. I wait till they seem to fall back asleep before getting up red in the face.  
Once out on my walk, I noticed that Harold’s bunk was outside with him in it. I blink and shake my head walking away.


	11. Trusting Love

I was eating breakfast which was basically leftovers from the cooking challenge when Duncan sits next to me and winks as Courtney also follows.  
“But you might get kicked off.” I raise a brow.  
“Aw, and here I thought you didn’t care about me.”  
“We’re one player short and I don’t wanna lose because you feel like going all criminal on us.”  
“He’s a delinquent, It’s in his blood. Deal with it.” I continue to eat.  
“Aw, thanks shortstack. Just for that, you get the mug I just stole.” He smirks at me as I roll my eyes.  
“Thanks,” I say, sarcasm dripping in my voice.  
“Ugh, why do I even bother?” She storms off as we laugh about the entire thing.  
“So, last week’s challenge exposed a few Gopher issues and I’m sensing a little something funky floating in the Bass pond, too.” We were at the dock as Duncan wraps his arm around me causing me to blush as I look away. “So this week’s challenge is gonna be centered around building trust. Because all good things begin with a little trust. There will be three major challenges that will have to be completed by two or more members of your team. Normally we like to have the campers choose their partners, but not this time. More fun for me.” I giggle softly at this.  
We soon meet at the base of a cliff.  
“Okay, so for the first challenge, You’ll be doing an extreme free hand, rock-climbing adventure. Kaylub and Courtney will play for the Bass. Heather and Gwen for the Gophers.” I feel glaring on me as I look to Courtney who smiles. “Here’s your belay and harness.”  
“Kaylub, you should be the one climbing, since you’re smaller and lighter than me it’ll be safer.” I smile back at her.  
“Yeah, that’s a great idea Courtney.”  
“You won’t be holding her up, exactly.” Our attention is drawn back to my dad. “One camper pulls the slack through the belay as the partner climbs. If the climber falls, the belay will stop them from crashing. The catch? Both the side and the base of the mountain are rigged with a few minor distractions like… rusty nails, slippery oil slicks, mild explosives and a few other surprises.” I giggle knowing my father’s antics. “The person on belay must also harness their partner up. It’s all about trust, people. And remember, never let go of the rope. Your partner’s life depends on it.”  
“Excuse me, can we trade partners? I really don’t feel like being dropped on my head today.” It’s going to be a long day. I looked at Courtney who was waiting and went over to her. I allowed her to hook me up, but felt like the harness was a bit loose.  
“Um, it feels a bit loose.”  
“I was a former C.I.T. I know how to do a harness.” I looked at my dad who gave an apologetic smile.  
We start climbing and I try my best not to worry about the harness that’s slowly slipping down my legs and more on the course I’m taking. I’m slower than Gwen, due to the constant fixing of the harness. Then an explosion happens that sends Gwen falling. I look down and see my dad with a squirt gun and cling to the rock as I hear Courtney scream.  
“It’s okay, I’m still holding on.” I nod back to her and continue my climb.  
“Come on, Gwen, you don’t want to fall behind.” I was then blinded by a piece of cloth. I take it off with one hand and notice that I’m holding her shorts. Without missing a beat I hold them up to her and continue to climb.   
It was once I was close to the top that I slipped up and started to fall. I wait for the slack to kick in and catch me, but instead I slip out of the harness and close my eyes waiting for impact only to hear a ‘hmph’ as I land on someone. I open my eyes and smile seeing Duncan was the one who caught me.  
“Guess, I caught a cutie.” I roll my eyes with a blush. “What, no reward for saving you?” I lean up and kiss his cheek as he places me down.  
“Thank you,” he chuckles and ruffles my hair.   
“No problem, can’t go losing you now can we?”  
“Looks like the Gophers have won the first challenge.” I sigh before we end up in the cafeteria.  
/”I’m not going to say it was Courtney’s fault… but it was Courtney’s fault.”\   
Duncan and I are the ones who are competing against Trent and Lindsay. A stunt double comes flying in and my dad stands up from behind the podium.  
“And now, round 2. The extreme… cooking… challenge!” Duncan rolls his eyes as I giggle watching the stunt double crawl away. “Each team must choose, who cooks and who eats.”  
“I’ll cook.” I look at Duncan as he smirks. “Got a problem with that, shortstack?” I roll my eyes and shake my head. Lindsay’s the one cooking for the Gophers.  
“Today you’ll be preparing fugu sashimi, the traditional Japanese poisonous blowfish.” I watch as Chef brings in the blowfish. “The fugu blowfish contains enough lethal toxin to kill 30 people.”  
“Fishes, meet your maker!” Chef tosses the fish at both Lindsay and Duncan as they land on the cutting board.  
“They must be sliced very carefully to cut around the poisonous organs. The poison paralyzes the nerves and there is no antidote, so no worries.” I giggle at his words as Duncan looks at me with raised brow.  
“Don’t worry, I trust you not to kill me.” I give a smile as he gulps.  
After a while, the two finish their meals and I see that Duncan at least tried to make something resembling sashimi… I felt bad for Trent. I was to go first and I smiled at Duncan before taking a bite. He seemed worried, but it was actually pretty good. I give him a thumbs up as he sighs.  
Trent on the other hand ended up having to go to the medical tent… just like last challenge.  
“I’m glad I didn’t poison you.”  
“I had full faith that you weren’t going to end up putting me in the same position as Trent.” I say as I leaned on him to shove him playfully. He chuckles and pushes me lightly as we hang out.  
“Oh, you won’t believe it, but I found the place where there are no cameras.” He looked genuinely surprised and I giggled. “I’ll have to show you it during the break.” He chuckles and kisses my cheek.  
“That would be great.” We end up meeting back up with the others.  
“Good news, the third round involves three more challenges. It’s the three blind challenges. It begins with the blind william tell, followed by the blind trapeze and culminating in the treacherous blind toboggan.” D.J. gets a pair of glasses and an arrow placed on his head. “Like legendary marksman William Tell, you’ll be knocking arrows off your partner’s head with crab apples.”  
“Um, wasn’t it the other way around?” Courtney asked.  
“Shush!” He pulls out a blindfold. “Also, the shooter will be blindfolded.” We all take a few steps away from D.J. “The person who knocks off the arrow while causing the least amount of facial damage, wins.” He loads up the slingshot and then fires right into D.J.’s groin. I hiss in pain. ”Ah, nuts. Leshawna and Owen, you’ll be one team. Courtney and Katie, you’ll be the other.”  
“I’m violently allergic to apples.” Good thing you’re not involved. I thought as I aided D.J. through the pain.  
“Ooh. Let me shoot. I’m a good shot,” Katie said jumping up and down.  
“You’d better be.” I smirked anticipating how wrong this was going to go.  
“Okay, let’s rock and roll.” The two get set up as Duncan wraps an arm around me.  
“My bets on Leshawna, you?” I nod agreeing as they start to slingshot the apples. Owen takes it better due to his bigger body as I can’t help but silently giggle at Courtney’s pain. Leshawna gets it.  
“I got her this time.”  
“Leshawna won already.” She fires off four more apples, one that nearly hits me, but Duncan pulls me close as the apple flies by. I look up to see him glaring at Katie.  
“Katie, it’s over, let it go!” My dad shakes her as she removes the blindfold.  
“Sorry,”  
“You’re going down.” Courtney then collapses before being carried off to go get checked for a concussion.  
“And now, the blind trapeze.” I notice the water and raise a brow before giggling seeing the jellyfish. “To avoid serious injury. The trapeze has been set up over this pond which is full of jellyfish.” The others gasp as I smile. At least it’s somewhat safe. He tosses a blindfold to Bridgette and Heather. “You two will stand blindfolded on the platform until your partners tell you when to jump.”  
“And then?”  
“Then hopefully they’ll catch you… or that’s going to be one heck of a painful swim.” He chuckles. “Okay, hut, hut.” I feel a breath on my ear which sends shivers down my spine.  
“Wanna ditch and show me that spot?” I blush and nod as he takes my hand with a smirk and we walk off together.   
“So, this is it.” I show him the beautiful clearing and he smirks. He leads me into the clearing before pulling me close and I feel lips on mine. My blush was a crimson red before I closed my eyes and softly kissed back.  
Once we separated he smiled at me.   
“I’ve been wanting to do that for a while.”  
“W-we should get back to the others,” He chuckles before linking our fingers and we head back together.  
We pass by the infirmary and I see Courtney looking at us as well as Heather with a jellyfish on her. Seems we won that battle.  
Once back, it was the blind toboggan race and D.J. and Geoff were racing against Leshawna and Gwen. I hear explosions going off and look to my dad to see him igniting the T.N.T.  
It was a close race, with Leshawna and Gwen getting sent up into the air due to an explosion, I move my team out of the way as the two landed on the finish line declaring the Gophers the winners.  
/”We were winning too many anyway.” I shrugged.\  
We were at the campfire as Duncan and I were holding hands.  
“Who wants a treat? A tasty goodie that represents exemption, security, piece of mind--”  
“Just get on with it.” I glare at Courtney.  
“And if you don’t get a marshmallow you have to walk the dock of shame and you can never come back. Ever.” He walked between Duncan and I separating our hands with a glance at me.   
“Let’s see, one for Duncan, one for Kaylub, one for Bridgette.” He tosses us our marshmallows as D.J., Geoff, and Harold also get one leaving it to Courtney and Katie. “Looks like we only have one left. Katie and Courtney, the final marshmallow…” he starts to build up the suspense like he always does and I smile.  
“Oh, come on, already.” Courtney says as I was about to just hit her.  
“Don’t rush me! The audience eats up this kind of dramatic conclusion.” She sighs as I smirk. “Courtney.”  
“You know what? That’s fine with me, you marshmallow eating freaks.” Katie runs off crying. Courtney waves her off with a glare.  
“The rest of you are safe, for now.” I was heading with the others when D.J. came over to me.  
“So, you and Duncan?” I blush as he laughs making me roll my eyes.  
/”I know it’s so cliche to fall for the bad boy… but he’s been apparently pinning for me for quite sometime… and why not?” I blush knowing who’s listening. Don’t kill me.\


	12. Boot Camp

Duncan and I were official, but my dad warned me to be careful as t.v. relationships weren’t always the most stable.   
“Okay, who’s made smores out of my underwear?” I giggled as I was leaning on the railing to the cabins playing pokemon. Harold had just exited the cabin holding an example of his complaint. We hear a scream and see Courtney.  
“Harold, you are so totally gross.”  
“No wait. It wasn’t me. Idiots.” Harold returns inside.  
“Sometimes, he just makes it too easy.” I roll my eyes.  
“I hear you man.” I feel arms wrap around me as Duncan places me onto his lap.  
“Listen up, you little cockroaches. I want all campers to report to the dock of shame at 0900 hours!” I raise out of his arms as he looks confused. “That means now, soldiers. Now.” We all rush down to the dock of shame as I stand next to Duncan and Geoff. I noticed that Chef was here and dad wasn’t. I raise a brow at this change.  
“Line up and stand at attention. You call this proper formation? Feet together. Arms down. Eyes forward. Head up.” He hits Harold a couple times as I giggle softly. “What did you say to me, soldier?” He puts the megaphone in Gwen’s face.  
“Um, nothing.”  
“And you’ll continue to say nothing until I tell you that you can say something. Today’s challenge will not be an easy one. In fact, I do not expect everyone to come out alive.” Owen laughs only to get hit. “My orders are to make sure all of the babies in front of me drop out of my boot camp except one. The last one standing wins immunity for their team. Rule number one-- you will address me as Master Chief. Have you got that?”  
“Yes, Master Chief!” We all say.  
“You will sleep when I tell you to sleep. And you will eat only when I tell you to eat. Is that clear?” He was in Geoff’s face.  
“Yes, Master Chief.” He responded.  
“Rule number two-- when you’re ready to give up, you will walk to the end of the dock and ring the bell. Which brings me to rule number three--I’d like to get one Quitter before the end of the first day. And that day will not end until someone drops out. Now get your butts down to the beach. Now, now, now.”  
We all rushed down to the beach where two canoes were waiting for us.  
“Listen up. Each team must hold a canoe over their heads. I catch you taking your hands off the canoe, and you will be eliminated. Short kid, you’ll be sitting with me seeing as you can’t reach the canoe. And no one eats lunch until someone drops out. Canoes up!” I go over and sit in the chair pulling out my ds to play pokemon.  
Dad arrives and ruffles my hair before getting up onto the Gophers canoe, while Chef sits on my team's canoe as it’s been three hours. I was sucking on a lollipop to strive off the hunger.  
“Come on, you sissies. It’s only been three hours.  
“Looks like they missed lunch today.”  
“Mm-hmm. Guess they just weren’t hungry. Unless someone wants to quit now.” No one does.  
Geoff uses a fishing rod… that I have no idea where he got it from, to pull on Harold's underwear. It snaps and causes Chef to look at Harold as he places his hands back onto the canoe. I giggle and shake my head.  
It was now night as Owen was asleep and Chef was telling a story. I was leaning back in my own chair when Lindsay walked by.  
“Looks like we got ourselves a quitter.”  
“Don’t do it, Lindsay!” Owen was awake. She hits the bell with her head causing her team to collapse as we cheer, Duncan picking me up after throwing the canoe down.  
“You still have feeling in your arms.”  
“Whenever you’re in them I do.” I blush brightly as he smirks, kissing my cheek.  
“Except for being a little baby that let your team down. As for the rest of you, head to the mess hall. Dinner is served.” We all head to the mess hall where dad was waiting.  
“All right, Maggots, open your ears. You’ve got 10 minus to eat before night training begins, so get to it.” The others complain about night training as I just shrug.  
“Um, excuse me, Master Chief. Where’s the food?” Gwen asked.  
“You’re looking at it.” He chuckles as he was motioning to trash cans.  
/”yeah, I’ll stick to my pops thank you.” I pop a lollipop into my mouth as proof.\  
“This is the leftover garbage from this morning’s breakfast.”  
“Darn right. When you’re at war, you take what you can get.” Owen eats some.  
“Well, I can see you’ve got this under control. I’m off to craft services. Coming?” Dad nods my way as I give a un-noticeable nod back while sucking on my lollipop.  
“Serve me up some of that.” The two leave.  
Both Heather and Courtney complain as I take a seat with Harold.  
“Don’t care for today’s specials, princess?” Duncan asked Courtney as he came over with a glass of kitchen grease.  
“I am going to be running for office one day, and no one is going to pull up a file of me eating garbage.” Remind me to vote for the dog on that day.  
“Hey, Harold, we felt really bad about the whole underwear-fishing-incident thing, so here we found you some apple juice.” I shake my head at the two.  
“Thanks,” Harold drinks it only to spit it back out. “That’s not juice.”  
“It’s kitchen grease,” I say from beside him as the two chuckle.  
“You guys are so immature.” Here she goes again. “I hope you’re proud of yourselves.”  
“Ok, look, I know you like me, but I’m currently taken by Shortstack over there.” I wave with a light blush.  
“Ugh, enjoy your garbage!” She storms off as Duncan comes over to me with a glass.  
“I actually got some apple juice for you.”  
“And I was saving a lollipop for you.” We exchange goods as he wraps an arm around my waist.  
We meet back on the beach where, Master Chief leads us in a dance. I was actually enjoying it and then Duncan clicks the button stopping the music.  
“Awe, Duncan, why’d you do that?” I ask walking over to him.  
“While I’d love to stare at that butt dancing all night,” I blush crimson. “One of us drops out, we’re done for the day.”  
“We’re done when I say we’re done. Now drop and give me 20. And you, get on his back.” I nod getting on his back as he easily does the push-ups with me on him. “Anyone else got something they want to say?”  
“Uh, yeah. Can I go to the bathroom?” Gwen is handed cleaning supplies as she leaves.  
We return to the mess hall once again.  
“For your next challenge, you will complete a 300-word essay about how much you love me. Anyone who falls asleep or fails to complete the challenge will be eliminated.”  
It was pretty easy to write a 300-word essay on things I enjoyed about Chef. I had actually finished well before the others and noticed that Duncan was just writing the same word over and over again. I giggle as he winks at me.  
Time ends and Master Chief comes over and starts to collect the Essays. I smile when he picks up mine as does Duncan as he starts to read his.  
“I love Master Chief Hatchet because he is very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very very, very, very, very, very--” This is just one sentence with five pages of “verys” in between.”  
“It’s 300 words exactly. I had shortstack count them.” I nod with a giggle as Duncan had my shadow under the eyes, look. Master Chief then slips on Owen’s drool as I giggle only to earn his glare on me.  
“You two slackers are out. The rest of you, get to bed and report to the playing field at 0500 hours.”  
“Missed a spot there, general.”  
“Boy, do you want to run 50 laps around this camp right now.” I giggle as Courtney grabs him.  
“No, thanks. He’s going straight to bed, aren’t you? What are you trying to do, get eliminated?”  
“I didn’t know you cared.”  
“I don’t. I just don’t want to lose this challenge, so stop being such a screw-up and do what you’re told for once, ok?” She then walks off.  
“She wants you,” Geoff says as I roll my eyes.  
“Too bad, I’m taken.” Duncan wraps his arm around my waist as I blush with a smile. We end up cuddling in his bunk catching some sleep before 5:00 am where we meet up, with Master Chief, at an obstacle course.  
“You will all run this course until you can all complete it in under one minute. Am I making myself clear?” He was all up in Duncan’s face as delinquent winks at me.  
“Crystal,” I giggle.  
“If you lose this for us, I’m gonna make you so miserable.” You already do.  
“Go, maggots, go!”  
We all start the course as I can’t even make it over the wall due to my height. Duncan aids me up and I manage to do the course, but it’s the wall that always stops me. Harold goes over the wall and then starts to vomit up mud.  
“Uh, general crazy, we’ve got a situation here.”  
“Too much…” he coughs up more mud, “mud.”  
“Ring the bell and report to the infirmary. Your tour of duty is finished.”  
“Wow, poor guy,” I nod with a giggle.  
“Back on the course, soldiers, now!” The others ran off as I noticed Duncan was getting lectured. “One false move, and I’ll be on you like, stink on a poop wagon.”  
“I look forward to it, sir!” I giggle as we continue the course.  
With each lap more and more of the other campers fall, as Leshawna was currently sinking in the mud. I giggle as Duncan makes a comment.  
“You just bought yourself 20 more push-ups.”  
“Thank you,” Duncan then kisses Master Chief’s nose. I know it’s the fatigue that caused him to do that, but my eyes widen just as wide as his.  
“Delinquent, you messed up.”  
“I think you’re right.”  
“One night solitary confinement in the boathouse.” His voice was calm and that was the scariest thing. We all gasp.  
“Big deal. How scary can it be?” I shake my head as he’s taken away.  
“The rest of you, shower off and meet at the mess hall for food.”  
Food was basically gruel and I ditched it to go see Duncan in the fish cabin.  
“Ah, so shortstack finally visits.” I giggle as he wraps his arms around my waist and he gives me a kiss. We separate and take different seats as I get the box and he sits on a bucket.  
“Why did you do that?”  
“It was fun,” I raised a brow looking around. “Well, up until I got locked up in here.” I giggle as we sit in silence for a moment.  
“Wanna go steal some peanut butter and Jam. I know you know where the craft tent is.” I bite my lip and shrug. “I knew you couldn’t resist the dark side forever.” He pulls me close as I giggle and roll my eyes.  
“I just can’t resist you, Delinquent.” This puts a blush on his cheeks as we soon head off together.  
We sneaked into the tent, as Chef and dad were talking, and stole some of the food items from the fridge.  
“I am nothing without my stubble,” I silently giggle at that.  
“Are you sure you want to go through with this?” I knew I could handle the repercussions… if we were found out. I nod and pull out a fish placing it on the plate.  
“To the Killer Bass.” I hear him groan.  
“God, I love you.” I blush as we soon rush off with the stolen goods and present them to the rest of the team and even the Gophers join in.  
“Oh, I forgot something. I’ll be right back.” I get up and leave planning on surprising Duncan with a cute, yet dark promise ring I made in arts and crafts. It matched his choker.  
When I turned the corner, my heart stopped as I dropped the ring onto the ground. Tears blurred the image of Duncan and Courtney kissing as I took off into the woods ignoring the calls of my name.  
I didn’t stop till I collapsed in a field of flowers. I couldn’t stop the tears running down my face. My father was right, I shouldn’t have even thought of dating. It was all a joke. I hear panting behind me and don’t have to see to know it was Duncan there. The song had already left my lips.  
“Did you really think, I'd just forgive and forget, no  
After catching you with her  
Your blood should run cold, so cold  
You, you two-timing, cheap-lying, wannabe  
You're a fool, if you thought that I'd just let this go.”   
“Kaylu-” I wasn’t finished as I turned to him the tears in my eyes making my vision blurry, but I could see his outline.  
“I see red, red, oh red  
A gun to your head, head, to your head  
Now all I see is red, red, red.”  
“She doesn’t mean anything-”  
“Did you really just say, she didn't mean anything, oh  
I'll remember those words, when I come for your soul, your soul  
Know that you, you dug your own grave, now lie in it  
You're so cruel, but revenge is a dish best served cold.” I turn away from him, the tears flowing faster.  
“I see red, red, oh red  
A gun to your head, head, to your head, oh  
Executioner style, and there won't be no trial  
Don't you know that you're better off dead  
All I see is red, red, oh red  
Now all I see is  
Run, hide  
Oh, you're so done  
Oh, better sleep with one eye open tonight  
I see red, red, oh red, oh  
A gun to your head, head, to your head, oh  
Executioner style, and there won't be no trial  
Don't you know that you're better off dead  
All I see is red, red, oh red  
Now all I see is red, red.” I collapse to the ground as I feel arms wrap around me. I don’t have the energy to push him away as he holds me close to where I can hear his racing heart.

“Please, shortstack, why would I cheat on you with a stuck-up princess. I have such a cute, adorable-”  
“Stop, Duncan,” I felt him flinch as I used his actual name. “I’m too tired for this.” We remained in silence for a while as I listened to his rushing heart.  
/”Is it wrong to say I forgive him. My dad used to do this too, he’d say he’d be home for dinner and not be, and I’d be hurt, but then I’d forgive him. I know some will say “this isn’t the same thing,” but to me it is, because my dad’s promises are attached to my heart and if it’s broken… it hurts the same way. He’ll have to make it up to me sure, but I have forgiven him.” I give a sad smile to the camera.\

“Attention, remaining book camp recruits. The next evolution, your training begins tomorrow morning at 0700 hours. And if I catch the sucker that took my dessert, your butt is mine.” I soon fell asleep listening to his heartbeat.  
“What you are experiencing is an ancient form of torture.” We were hanging upside down in a tree. Duncan, Geoff, Courtney, and I were all that was left on the Bass as Gwen, Owen, and Heather were for the Gophers.   
“By now, the blood has begun rushing to your head. The next stage is nausea, followed by dizziness and a flushed appearance. As the blood begins to pool in your eyes, you may experience fainting spells.” Duncan falls out of the tree as I giggle.  
“Duncan,” Courtney called out as I knew he was okay. Bridgette also confirmed his health as I linked my hands to the tree to help. Everyone else does the same… except for Owen who can’t reach. Heather quits and gets crushed by Owen who falls. I giggle softly as Courtney full on laughs.  
“Stop laughing this instant.”  
“I’m sorry. I can’t help it.” She then falls.  
“I expected more out of you, soldier.”  
“Sorry, ahem. Master Chief, I just have one thing to say to you.”  
“And what might that be?”  
“You really need to take a chill pill.” We’re all in shock as she goes up to Duncan and kisses his cheek. He didn’t do or say anything about it as I looked away. Geoff falls out leaving Gwen and me once again.  
“Awake-a-thon part 2?” I say to her.  
“Oh, you’re on.” It wasn’t long before a faint spell claimed me and I fell out only to be caught. I look to see it’s Duncan and he’s smiling at me. I can’t muster the energy to smile back so I just get out of his arms and walk away.  
“I only have six marshmallows on my plate. And these marshmallows represent the campers that will continue to be campers… here.” Courtney rolls her eyes and looks at Duncan who looked away from her to me as I was sitting behind him with D.J. who glared at Duncan.  
“You’ve all cast your ballots in the confession can. If I do not call your name, you must immediately go down to the dock of shame, catch the boat of losers, and go home. And you can’t come back… ever.” I smile softly before noticing Courtney’s smirking gaze on me. Duncan, D.J., Bridgette, Geoff, and Harold all get a marshmallow as panic sets in. Courtney looks all calm and easy going but I wasn’t ready to leave. At the moment I forgot that my dad is the host and that the losers go to a pretty cool hotel, but that’s what the heat of the moment does to you.  
“Campers, this is the final marshmallow of the night.” It was a different feeling being on the receiving end of the suspense moment, but he winks at me and I calm down. “Kaylub.” I breathe a sigh of relief and go over to get my marshmallow and hugging D.J.  
“What? You guys voted for Kaylub over me?”  
“Hey, you don’t mess with the cute one,” Bridgette said as the others nod. I blush at being called cute. She gets dragged away by my dad and Chef. I end up walking back to the cabin.  
“Shortstack-” Duncan was blocked by both Bridgette and D.J. Harold was helping me move my stuff to the girls side since it was just her and dad gave me permission to switch.  
“You should stay away from him for a bit.” I looked over to him as I could see the pleading in his eyes. I looked away and entered the cabin. I couldn’t stop the tears that started to fall.


	13. X-treme Forgiveness

Three days of ignoring, and avoiding Duncan and he’s still trying to get me alone. I no longer go on walks when I wake up, because he’s usually waiting for that and now I have a new reason to not sleep.  
Bridgette was asleep as I heard a jet engine and exit the room to see my father flying a plane dangerously low.  
“Hit the deck!” Geoff calls out as dad then runs over the confessional. He doesn’t have his pilot's license. I thought as he then landed.  
“Just flexing your muscles for today’s X-treme sports challenge!” I cover my ears from the echo of the megaphone.  
“Uh, It’s too early for this.” Gwen complained as I shrugged.  
“This week you’ll participate in three challenges. First up, X-treme sofa bed skydiving!” He used the megaphone again. “Contestants will plummet--uh--skydive to awaiting sofa bed targets below.” Chef demonstrates only to get crushed by the bed folding in on him. I giggle. “Of course, You’ll be skydiving from five thousand feet and using these.” The others gasp at the terrible moth-eaten parachutes. “Our lucky contestants are Trent and D.J.”  
“Sure. Why not? You know what they say on Black Comb Mountain, bro. Best glimpse of Heaven’s on the way into hell. Let’s do this.” D.J. on the other hand was actually terrified.  
“Not so fast, because the second challenge of the day is X-treme rodeo moose riding!” We all head over to where a moose was in a pen.  
“Contestants will rodeo ride the great canadian bucking moose for 8 seconds or get hoofed into a giant pile of socks from the lost and found.”  
“That stick pile ain’t nothing but laundry day back home.”  
“It’s your lucky day, Leshawna. You’re riding for the Gophers and Geoff, you’ll ride for the Bass.” Owen then gets hit by the moose as I snort at this. “And the final challenge--X-treme seadoo water skiing! Contestants will water ski a race course grabbing as many flags they can before crossing the finish line. While a member from the opposing team drives the seadoo.”  
“How can we water ski without water?”  
“It’s really hard.” Dad puts the megaphone down, “check it out.” Chef then revs up the seadoo and bounces around on the ground before wiping out into a tree. My dad and I both laugh. “Awesome! Harold! You’ll ski for the killer bass…” he cheers. “And Lindsay for the screaming gophers.”  
“Cool! I can model my new bikini.”  
“Now for the cool swag, whoever scores the most challenges get braking rights for the night, saves their butts from elimination and wins a tricked-out multi-message mobile shower.” I blink as the others gasp.  
“Can it be?”  
“Oh. It be.”  
“Ugh, a shower? How about something good?” Owen complains as I blink to see Heather in his face.  
“Listen to me, you marshmallow-eating goof, we are going to win that shower if it’s the last thing we do. Got it?” Owen then starts to choke on his marshmallow. Harold knocks it out of him and it hits Heather square in the back of her head like a bullet. I can’t help but bust out laughing.  
“Okay, gang, chow for breakie, then report back in 20 minutes for the x-treme sports challenge!”   
I eat with the rest of the campers as I notice Duncan staring at me like he always does. It’s kinda upsetting because he looks like an upset puppy. He had dark circles under his eyes from what I can only assume is a lack of sleep since that’s the reason for my permanent dark circles.  
Everyone was leaving when I noticed that Bridgette and Gwen were looking at a letter. The two then fight over who it was written for as I giggle when they make a bet.  
/”Spoiler alert, so cover your ears if you don’t want to hear this… it’s neither of them.” I giggle.\  
We all meet back up in the woods as I’m standing by D.J. and ignoring Duncan.  
“Now, remember, ground teams can wheelie the sofa beds wherever they want in order to help their comrade with the landing.”  
“Sionare, Trent. I hope your attempts to impress, weird goth girl are worth the chalk outline.” I blink seeing the outline. She does realize they’re on the same team right?  
“Uh, did you ever think that maybe Trent’s doing this as a form of self-expression, like Haiku?” I blink before biting my lip as I feel a tap on my shoulder and look to my dad.  
“They found one of Harold’s love letters to Leshawna and think it’s theirs.” He holds in his laughter as he re-enters the plane. Then the three go up into the air.  
I, not allowed to move the sofa by order of my team, was following the plane's trajectory and then noticed D.J. screaming.  
“Guy’s over here!” I call out to my team as they come over and D.J. lands on the sofa only for it to eat him. I blink as the others walk away. I roll my eyes and help him out of the sofa.  
“Gophers lose! Bass wins! 1-0.” We head off to the second challenge.  
“Okay, Cowpokes, let’s start the rodeo moose challenge!” Geoff get’s out within the first second he’s in due to having his pants down. “Ooh! That stinks big-time for the Bass. No, seriously, that is some rank stuff. Leshawna, let’s jet!” Leshawna manages to do redicoulsy well for the Gophers  
“We’re gonna find out.” I catch the end of the conversation between Gwen and Bridgette as we move onto the final part.  
“So, we have a tie! Whoever wins the X-treme sea-doo water ski challenge wins invincibility.”  
“I’m ready!” Lindsay was dressed in a green bikini and she looked great in it.  
“Wow, you’re looking amazing Lindsay,”  
“Awe, thanks cutie.” I blush brightly.  
/”Why is it when someone calls me cute I blush? I mean I know this, but it’s still different hearing someone else call me cute.” I look away shyly with a blush.\  
We’re up first as Heather is driving Harold. Duncan is looking at me as I try to block visuals by standing on the other side of D.J.   
“So,” we see Bridgette walk over to us as her intentions were for D.J., “read any good poems lately?”  
“So, asked any arbitrary, way-out-of-left-field questions lately?” She inspects him before looking to Gwen and shaking her head. I giggle as the race then starts.  
“Flag one, for Bass.” We cheer as Harold then gets all the flags. “Five flags and heading home. Heather has to cross the finish line or be disqualified. But when she does, Harold will take five flags to victory for the Killer Bass!”  
The next thing we know is that Harold wiped out and Heather was sent flying.  
“I don’t know what Heather did to make Harold lose his concentration, but it’s a total wipeout for the Bass team.” I shake my head. Duncan then heads to the starting line as Lindsay was ready behind him. His eyes looked directly at me and I bit my lip and looked away from those sad ocean teal eyes.  
“Ready, set, ride it like it’s sweeps week. Go!” Lindsay shows that she’s very skilled on a set of skis and easily gets all five flags. “Lindsay has snagged flag five and is racing back home for the win. Duncan is euchred! He has to cross!”  
“Says you!” He then crashes, which sends him flying into a tree, but the speed and momentum from the race helps Lindsay cross the finish line.   
“Gophers win!”  
I go over to where Duncan was finally getting up from falling out of the tree. I pull out the twig in his mohawk and see him tense before I ruffle the dirt and leaves from his head as well which causes him to relax.  
“You did good, delinquent.” His eyes widen as he looks at me with such hope that I blush lightly.  
“So you’re talking to me again?”  
“Well, when you look like a kicked puppy… it’s hard not to.” He then pulls me into a hug.  
“I will do anything and everything to earn your forgiveness.” I pat him on the back as he pulls away looking at me.  
“Funny thing is… I’ve already forgiven you. It’s my trust you need to work on.” He nods rapidly as I giggle. “What happened to the tough, teasing delinquent I met on day one?”  
“He’s still here, just glad that he didn’t lose something really special.”  
“Hope you don’t get voted off for such a bad wipeout.” I then walk away leaving a wide-eyed Duncan behind.  
/”We aren’t going completely back to the way it was before, but at least now we are talking. And he doesn’t look like a kicked puppy.”\  
At the campfire, once again, for the third time in a row… dad presented the marshmallows.  
“As you know, if you do not receive a marshmallow you will be forced to walk the dock of shame, and you can never, ever return to camp.” Bridgette, D.J., Geoff, and I were safe. Geoff was far from the fire due to smelling like a skunk.  
“That leaves Harold who bailed big for reasons unknown.” I know why. “And Duncan who bailed even bigger, because lindsay left him circling the drain in a shameless--” He walked up to my dad and grabbed him by the shirt. I was holding in my amusement.  
“That chick was determined.”  
“Which is why you’re safe,” dad said with a strain as Duncan released him and took his marshmallow. “Harold, sorry, dude. You’re done like dinner.”  
Harold had all his things ready and gave each of us a high five. He didn’t seem that disappointed. I decided to go see him off and was surprised to see some Gophers there as well.  
“Farewell, Total Drama Island. I loved. I lost. And I saw boobies. What more can a man ask for?”  
/”Yeah, he told me he saw boobies and that’s why I voted for him.” I shrug.\  
“Leshawna, I meant every word of that poem.”  
“Poem? That was you?” Leshawna rushes out and the two kiss as Lindsay, Bridgette, and Gwen awe at the cute display. I head back towards the cabins and take a seat waiting for the inevitable.  
“Who’s boobies did you see?” I point towards where Heather had just exited the shower. Leshawna looks straight up ready to murder and I bust out laughing before going to bed. I still remain in the girls cabin.


	14. Boys V. Girls

I gained the worst feeling as I entered the mess hall to see my father and Chef chuckling to each other. I go and sit with D.J. and Duncan who hasn’t completely earned my trust, but I don’t ignore him anymore.  
“Congratulations to the remaining eleven campers for reaching the halfway mark in the competition. You’ll all be on the jury for the final episode.”  
“We got the power, yeah.” Geoff cheered as I rolled my eyes.  
“The two teams will become one next week. But first, all the girls will be moved to the Gophers cabin and all the guys will stay in the bass cabin. This week’s challenge is as old as history itself. A battle of the sexes. After everyone is settled in, I’ll announce the challenge and then, you’ll have a bite to eat.” The two chuckle making me concerned. “Ready for a little good news? This week, no one will be kicked off.” We all cheer. “It’s all for reward and it’s a good one. Okay, time to relocate. Let’s move.” The two continue to chuckle as I head to the cabins.   
Due to Bridgette being the one to leave, I didn’t need to do anything since the entire Bass cabin was now dedicated to the guys. I did get to watch Geoff and Bridgette try to kiss only for my dad to arrive and pull Bridgette from the cabin. Duncan then arrived and winked at me as he claimed the bunk under mine… again.  
“You know you didn’t have to change rooms right?” I ask looking at Duncan who was laying on his bunk.  
“Yeah, but if you’re not coming back, then I’ll just follow you.” I blush and head to the confessional.  
/”I’m not used to people, let alone flirts, so Duncan’s teasing is always going to fluster me. Maybe one day I’ll stop blushing…” I look dead at the camera with hope.\  
We guys throw a sick welcoming party for the Gopher guys and I take a cup of pop over to the girls side. I knock on the door then open it to see tape on the ground and Bridgette looking very nervous. Oh, we’re so going to win.  
“Hey, Bridgette?” This catches all of their attention. “I got some soda pop from the guys party, also can I speak to you outside?” She seems so grateful for the rescue and comes over as we exit the room. “You do know there’s another room right?”  
“I thought it would be better for teamwork if we were all in the same room.” I blink and point back to where the tape was on the floor. “Yeah, I’ll take you up on that offer.” She takes the pop as I return to the guys to see Geoff named captain.  
“It’s time for today’s challenge.” We were all back in the mess hall, but there was no food.  
“Uh, where’s breakfast at?” The two laugh at Leshawna’s concerned question.  
“Stop that,” I say with a whine as it was actually creeping me out.  
“Let’s just tell them. Today’s challenge is “The Brunch of Disgustingness.” You’ll be getting a nine course meal. Each member of each team must finish each dish. You will not know if the next dish is grosser than the last, not as gross, or just as gross, just that it will likely be… gross.”  
“Tell them what they’ll get if they win, Chris.” Chef sounded like one of those prize game hosts.  
“The winning team will spend two days at a local five-star resort where they’ll be pampered, eat gourmet nosh and be given antibiotics against anything they may have caught while participating in this challenge. The losing team will go hungry tonight and spend the next two days here, on total drama island… with Chef.” Chef gave a creepy smile as the others gasped. I just shrug.  
/”To be honest, I’ll eat anything once.” I shrug knowing this challenge could be easy… at least for myself.\  
Leshawna clears her throat catching our attention.  
“Take a whiff boys,” she sniffs the air. “‘Cause all I smell is victory for me and my girls.” That’s not what the tape on your room floor says.  
“I’ll eat anything. Even my gitch if I have to… will I have to?” Owen askes as I look at my dad with wide eyes.  
“Let’s begin the challenge. First, some Hors D'oeuvres.” Chef reveals beef testicle bourguignon. I shrug and start to eat.  
“All right, Meatballs. Bring it on.” Owen then downs the whole plate as I blink having already finished my second one.  
“Well, technically you’re right, Owen, but these are kinda special.”  
“It’s beef testicle bourguignon.”  
“Testicals?” I cover my ears and close my eyes as Owen pukes. Everyone else was a little creeped out as, once I felt better, I got back to eating.  
“I don’t think I can do this to my bovine brother.” All of the guys were struggling… except my plate was clean.  
“Well, looks like the guys lost this round. The first challenge goes to the female campers.” The girls cheer as Bridgette comes over and thanks Geoff for helping her.  
“Uh, what? You’re helping them, dork? You just cost us this round.” Duncan went off on Geoff.  
“Yo, it’s my business who I talk to. Gimme a break, man.” Soon each of the guys were at each other's neck.  
“Hey,” I snap as the guys look at me. “It wasn’t like we were going to win anyway, so shut up and focus on eating the next meals.”  
“Alright,” Duncan said as the guys calmed down.  
“Fine,” Geoff responded.  
“Sorry man.” The two shake hands.  
“Sorry about that, dude.” I nod to dad as he nods back.  
“Score stands at one for the girls and zero for the guys. And now the next course in “The Brunch of Disgustingness.” You guys like pizza?” I nod.  
“I could eat pizza anytime with anything on it.”  
“Anything?” Chef reveals, “Live grasshopper pizza with tangy jellyfish sauce and live anchovies?” Owen shrugs as Chef serves up the pizza. I easily eat mine… despite the live creatures part and Owen was reaching for seconds.  
“Whoa, big guy, no taking seconds until everybody’s had a slice.” Everyone eats a slice except for Trent who then runs out complaining about a weak stomach.   
“I can do this. D.J., I need you to hold me down while, Kaylub, you stuff the slice in my mouth. And no matter how much I scream or beg, you have got to feed me that slice.” I smirk.  
“Just know that you asked for this,” I say as D.J. takes a hold of him and I hold the slice out. He starts complaining and I just giggle at his struggle before shoving the slice into his mouth. He turns into a child as D.J. rocks him.  
“The winner of this round are the guys.” We cheer. “Alright, who’s ready for the third course? Spaghetti!” I smiled before seeing what it really was and I glared at my father for tricking me. “Well, actually, earthworms covered in snail slime sauce and hairballs.”  
“No, I can’t take it anymore!” Geoff starts to run away as I nod to D.J. who gets up and then tackles Geoff to the ground outside of the mess hall. The two returned as Geoff had calmed down. The other guys block up their noses and wear blindfolds as I just eat normally without a care.  
/”Not going to lie, but I can’t taste anything that isn’t sweets. Why do you think I always have a lollipop with me?” I shrug and pop one into my mouth.\  
We won the round again.  
“And once again, the winners are the guys.” We cheer. “Alright everybody, time for course number four. No nine course meal would be complete without soup. Today’s special is french bunion soup with hangnail crackers.” I down it pretty easily as the girls get creative with a funnel.  
“The girls win again. The score’s now tied up at two. Only five more courses left. Bon Appetit.”   
After four more revolting meals, we end up tied still. And I have a stomach ache from eating well over my stomachs limit.  
“Wow. It’s still tied up. We’re down to the last course in the challenge. It’s delicious Dolphin wieners. Hot dogs made of dolphins.” Oh, heck no! I push the plate so far away from me that it slides off the other side and lands on the floor.  
“But dolphins are our friends.” Bridgette seemed to be having a breakdown.  
“What are you waiting for? It’s already dead. If you don’t eat it, we don’t win.” I glare at Heather.   
“Oh, I can’t. I’m a surfer. I swim with Dolphins.”  
“Eat it!”  
“No, I’m not doing it. You can’t pressure me.”  
“I’m not eating it either.” We both cross our arms, as D.J. joins our boycott as well.  
“Okay, enough. We’ll solve this by having an eat-off.” Owen and Leshawna face off for the teams. “Whoever can drink the most shot glasses of fresh delicious blended cockroach will be the winner. This unlikely satisfying blend of eight different cockroaches is vitamin rich for your balanced lifestyle. On your mark, get set, go.” Owen goes into a coma and drinks more shots than Leshawna earning us the win.  
“Owen wins.” We cheer but then I run out of the mess hall as I heard Leshawna’s stomach making the noise I don’t like.  
We’re on the yacht when I feel a tapping on my shoulder. I look to see it’s my dad and I look away.  
“Awe, now why am I getting the silent treatment?”  
“Dolphins.”  
“It wasn’t really dolphin, it was just for dramatics.” I feel a nudge and turn to him as he smiles and I sigh knowing I can never stay mad at him. “See, I knew you’d forgive me.” I roll my eyes and smile back at him.  
“You’re my dad, staying mad at you isn’t what I do.” He ruffles my hair and plants a kiss to my forehead.  
“And that is why you are the best son anyone could ever ask for.” I swat at his hand as he chuckles.  
“Hey, Shortstack, where are you?” I can feel my dads glare as I call back.  
“Busy, I’ll meet you on the bow.” I get a confirmation and the feet retreat.  
“I want to kill him.”  
“Dad!” He looked at me like he’s innocent.  
“What, it’s a dad's job to protect his little boy from heathens like him, especially after what he did.” The glare seemed to escalate in heat as I just rolled my eyes a little happy on the inside for his protectiveness.  
“Well, your little boy has to go meet with said heathen before he gets antsy.” A whine was all I got from him as I left the room.


	15. Say Uncle

We were returning back to camp after some much needed R&R at the resort and dad and I had some father-son bonding time during the two days. I won’t lie, I missed hanging out with him.  
We were all jamming together on the yacht as it pulled up to port and we all slid down the ramp and were just ecstatic.  
“Oh, sweet mother of mirth. You can’t buy that kind of fun.” Owen said as I nodded.  
“I think Owen and D.J. took a real shine to those lovely ladies who served us hand and foot,” Duncan said as Geoff agreed. I was just snacking on some chocolates I snagged.  
“Hello, the spa treatment? My alligator elbows, totally gone.” Owen touched D.J.’s elbows as I giggle noticing the heated look the females have.  
“Anyone care for a chocolate coated cherry blossom?” I catch the shoe Leshawna throws towards Owen with a glare colder than the arctic wind. I see them shiver before I smirk and toss her shoe back to her.  
“No need to be salty because while you girls can’t stand each other, we guys are thicker than thieves.” I feel arms wrap around me as Duncan smiles down at me and we guys go in for a high-five to celebrate our bond.  
“Listen up campers, as of right now, all teams are officially dissolved. From here on in, It’s every camper for themselves.” Dad came in over the loudspeaker as the arms around me tightened and I shared a nod with D.J.  
/”Always make plans for the eventual merge. He did say that prior to “The Brunch of Disgustingness.” I talked to D.J. and Duncan and we’ve got an alliance going.” I giggle happily.\  
“Then get ready for this.” We hear a boat horn and while everyone else is voicing their fears I’m smiling like a kid who just got permission to get as much candy as they want.  
“Back by popular audience demand, it’s Eva.”  
“Eva!” I rush up to her and hug her as she softens to pat my head. She keeps an arm around me as she glares heavily at the rest of the campers  
“And just so we’re clear, not only am I gonna kick butt, but I’m giving special attention to my backstabbing Bass team who voted me off… except for Kaylub here.” Her voice was soft at that part as I smiled and released her from the hug.  
“Wait a sec, you said no one is allowed back.”  
“I did?” I giggle knowing my father.  
“And once you leave--” She then goes on to quote every time dad had said that no one can ever return.  
“Oh, yeah, that. Yeah, I lied.” I could hear him smirking.  
“You can’t do that. It’s not fair.”  
“Whoa, girl, you’re reasoning with a loudspeaker. That just doesn’t not look good.” Leshawna said to Gwen as I giggled.  
“Not really, but we liked her.” I giggle. “Also returning to camp. It’s Izzy!”  
“Oh, no!” Everyone said as I couldn’t help but bust out laughing as the crazy ginger came swinging onto the dock.  
“Hey, guys, it’s good to be back at camp even though I never actually left the island. I’ve been living in the woods all this time.” I shake my head at this as arms wrap around me and I look up at Duncan.  
“So Eva’s on our side right?” I nod as I see her glaring at Duncan.  
“Or at least my side.”  
“Alrightly, campers, report to the amphitheater where you’ll learn all about this week’s challenge. McLean out.” We head to the Amphitheater and sit down in these rows of chairs.  
“Welcome to your next challenge, the time honored game of torture. “Say Uncle.” You are all about to be put through the test of endurance so insane that some of ‘em sent our interns to the emergency room. If you back down from the challenge or do not last the required 10 seconds, you will be eliminated. The winner will not only be safe from elimination, but will win this luxurious trailer, yours to take home at the end of the summer.”  
“What kinds of torture?” Leshawna had to ask.  
“Why don’t you ask my lovely assistant?” Chef had a hockey mask on and was holding a cleaver. I gulped. “All right. Let’s do this. Duncan, you’re first up. Let’s spin the wheel of misfortune to select your torture.” He goes up and the wheel lands on a picture of a turtle. “Turtle puck shots. Our interns spent weeks collecting the grumpiest, angriest, crustiest, hungriest, old snapping turtles on the island. While you stand in the goalie net completely unprotected, Chef will fire off turtle snap shots.” His smirk was so twisted I believed he was enjoying making Duncan suffer first. “If you can stay in for 10 seconds, you’ll go on to the second round.” The buzzer sounds and I watch as one turtle misses him, but the rest latch onto him and one even gets him in the nuts.   
“And Duncan moves on to the next round. Isn’t this fun?” I bite back a giggle at my father’s idea of fun as Duncan returns next to me.  
“That wasn’t pleasant.”  
“I enjoyed it.” I whisper as he scoffs.  
“I’m glad you find my pain amusing.”  
“Next up, Lindsay. Your torture is…” the wheel spins and lands on a flaming marshmallow. “Marshmallow waxing.”  
“That oddly sounds pleasant.” I get a look from Duncan as I shrug.  
“We’re going to wax every part of your body. If you can take the pain for a full 10 seconds, you can go to the next level.” She manages to survive the wax as a muffled scream is heard, but she thanks my dad… and calls him Chip. I giggle at that.  
“It’s Chris. Well done, Lindsay, since you didn’t even complain once, you get to choose who goes next.”  
“No, thanks.” Eva then pulls her hair and whispers in her ear. “Uh, wait, I change my mind. I choose--Bridgette with lake leeches because she’s a backstabbing, low-life traitor. Grrr.” I shake my head. Remind me to take to Eva… if she survives elimination.  
“It’s payback time, Traitor!”  
“All right, Bridgette, times a wastin. Get your butt in the barrel of leeches.” She starts to head up and then Geoff intervenes.  
“I’ll take her place.”  
“Oh, that is so romantic.” And foolish. I add on to Lindsay’s comment.  
“Oh, and if your victim can last 10 seconds without saying uncle, you get eliminated instead, which means you lose your chance to win this.” He shows off the trailer again as Geoff gets in the barrel of leeches.  
He doesn’t last the full 10 seconds and has to stand in a medieval stock.  
“Owen you’re next. He gets the wooden shorts.” My eyes widen at the many creatures that eat wood.  
“Wooden shorts? Big deal.” A woodpecker breaks off a branch and Owen covers his nuts.  
A few rounds of torture and surprisingly everyone… except Geoff and D.J. are still in the game.  
“Our next challenge will be spending 10 secons in a wooden crate with sasquatchanakwa. Tough one. Bridgette, you haven’t complained in a while, so you can choose the next victim.” Bridgette looked up from her shirt of bees as everyone else was chanting Eva. I was chanting Heather.  
“Kaylub,” everyone gasps at this as I nod.  
/”If she had picked Eva she would have lost and gotten Eva’s wrath more so than normal, plus I’ll be fine.”\  
“Sorry about this.” I just smiled at her and went towards the box.  
“You can refuse if you want.” I look and see my dad’s concerned eyes and smile at him to ease his mind. I open the door and enter.   
It wasn’t very dark, with the holes at the top of the box allowing light inside and Sasquatchanakwa just looked down at me as I smiled back up at him. He seemed pissed about being in a box, but I remained close to the door to give the creature space. I then hear the ding and wave as I exit the box.  
“Kaylub stuck it out, so Bridgette is out of the game. Now let’s see who showed less courage than Kaylub and cried uncle.”  
Trent lost to skunks, Gwen to new age music, Lindsay to the threat of a haircut, Owen to brainfreeze, Duncan due to nearly getting his hair dyed pink, Heather to nearly having a spider go down her back, Izzy eliminated herself by doing two challenges in a row, and finally I refused to wear a blindfold. That left Eva and Leshawna.  
“Finally, after 20 rounds of torture, we’re down to two steerly competitors and the sudden death round. Leshawna, it’s up to you. Your final challenge is the Grizzly Bear Log Roll.”  
“The Grizzly Bear say what?” I giggle at her reaction.  
By the time we were wheeled over, Leshawna was already on the log and running. She then outran the bear and even spun him into the water causing the piranhas to clean shave him.  
“Ha. And that’s how I roll.”  
“Leshawna wins, so Eva is out.”  
“What? No way!”  
“Way,” he then pushes her out of the way. “She wins the challenge, invincibility, and the grand prize.” Leshawna flaunts and celebrates as she goes over to her trailer. “While Leshawna checks out her trailer full of food. And we check out her blood pressure, the rest of you can go to the confessional booth and vote off a camper other than Leshawna.”  
I do my voting and then notice Eva pacing around.  
“Hey, you cool?” She turns to me and sighs.  
“I’m going home again aren’t I?” I shrug.  
“The elimination ceremony is full of surprises.” She ruffles my hair as we both go to the campfire together.  
“Okay.” I notice dad doesn't have marshmallows with him and I raise a brow at this fact. “So first up, we ran out of marshmallows.” Owen cries out as I pout. “I’ve reviewed the confessionals, and I have to say there’s lots of hate on in this group, which is awesome. While I normally protect your privacy, in the spirit of airing your dirty laundry, I’m going to go live with your confessionals.” The others gasp as Duncan and I smile.  
Heather votes Eva calling her a rage-oholic, Gwen votes Eva calling her a freak, Bridgette votes Eva in a prayer, D.J. votes Eva with an apology, Geoff votes Eva just cuz, Lindsay votes Eva calling her meaner that Heather, Laqueesha, and Gwen combined, Eva votes Heather with a threat to all that vote for her. A few of our confessionals don’t get shown and I’m happy about that.  
“Lots of dirt revealed there, huh? But in the end, it was still six votes against Eva. So adios.” She doesn’t get mad as I give her a soft smile. We all go and see her off.  
“Oh, Izzy lied, she wasn’t in the woods. She was--”  
“Wow, she has issues, huh?” Izzy cut her off as I gave the crazy ginger a raised brow. “Party at Leshawna’s new crib.” We all end up cheering and going off to party.


	16. Pirate's Treasure

I was humming a tune as Duncan was carving a skull into a tree. I then notice the K+D inside of it and giggle.  
“What?”  
“Nothing.” He grumbles as I smirk. We then hear a cannonball go off.  
“Arr, mateys, meet me at the amphitheater in five minutes and I’ll tell you about today’s challenge.” It was my dad with a pirate voice. We head to the amphitheater and despite there being no teams we still sit as if we’re Bass and Gophers. Leshawna also has her bags with her as they were smoking. So that’s what the cannonball hit. I giggle softly. Duncan wraps his arm around my shoulder and I lean on him. My dad was dressed up as a pirate with a fake parrot plus an eyepatch and Chef was wearing a pirate hat. Between the two was a cloth covering what I could only assume were chests.  
“Well, my little scallywags, have we got an adventure in store for ye?” The parrot falls and I giggle.  
“What’s under the sheet?” Geoff asked.  
“All in good time, Laddie. Who here has a hankering for a good old-fashioned treasure hunt?”  
“Depends,” I say with a shrug. He smiles my way.  
“Now this treasure hunt’s got a twist, mateys. What you’re looking for isn’t hidden, and it isn’t treasure.” I raise a brow.  
“If there’s no treasure, then what’s up with the eyepatch and the plastic parrot?” Duncan asked unamused.  
“Arr, shiver me timbers.” He throws the parrot. “Good question, me boy. You’re looking for keys to a treasure chest. Inside each of these chests is a treasure that will pamper you landlubbers. And one of these chests will even give you invincibility. Ha-har! Now come round and pull a clue out of this bucket or you’ll have to walk the plank.” We each go and get a clue. I look and see it’s a silhouette of the cabins with a key inside. “These clues will tell ye, where your key be stowed.” Owen gets a bear and dad seems excited about him getting it. He then goes and tells some of the others what the clue seems to be.  
“All you scallywags, go find your keys and bring them back by 6 pm eastern standard time. To open up the chest and get your loot. Fair thee well, young scallywags. Now get to it!”  
We all go different directions as Duncan peeks over my shoulder to see my card.  
“The cabins, really?” I shrug.  
“Guess they ran out of places to hide keys.”  
“Well, I got the fire pit.”  
“Good luck.”  
“Not gonna watch?”  
“Nope, have fun delinquent.” I then walk away with a smirk, he grumbles.  
I see my key hanging off the edge of the cabin and smirk.   
“Easy.” I climb up onto the roof and easily snag my key. I see Lindsay enter the girls cabin with a pink letter as Gwen enters and then exits with the same pink letter. I then watch as Lindsay runs out screaming. Gwen and I both watch her run as Gwen returns to Trent.  
“What are you doing up there shortstack?” I look over the edge and see Duncan with his key as well.  
“Just got my key.”  
“Well get down here.”  
“Nope, I like it up here.” I smirk as he glares. “What delinquent can’t climb?” He glares at me and grumbles something before he walks away. I raise a brow as I see Gwen enter the girl’s cabin. It looked like she had been crying. Then Leshawna comes covered in scratches. I watch as soon Leshawna rushes out of the cabin with a rage in her step.  
Duncan returns with soda pop.  
“Want some?” I glare as he smirks now. I climb down and get engulfed by arms and yelp as he pulls me down into his lap. “Now that wasn’t too hard.”  
“Just give me the pop.” He hands me the soda pop as we both relax together as Leshawna comes over.  
“We need you two in the alliance to vote off Heather for messing with Gwen’s boy Trent.” We both share a knowing look and nod.  
/”Heather you messed up. You try that with me and Duncan and I will knock your lights out, I dare you.” My glare was cold as ice.\  
“All righty, campers, meet me at the campfire in ten and bring your keys.”  
“I can’t believe she pulled a Courtney.” I glare recalling the brunette.  
“Is that what we’re calling it?” Duncan’s hands were in the air in surrender at the glare I was giving him. “It’s a fine name for such an action.” I nod and lean against him as he wraps his arm around me.  
We arrive at the campsite and stand a ways away from Geoff who smelled terrible from the septic tank. Izzy then shows up with a snake wrapped around her.  
“Izzy, you’ve got a snake on your head.” Duncan brought up as I giggled.  
“I know but don’t worry, he’s friendly.” The snake then bites her head disproving her point. “See? Kisses.” She then passes out. And that made D.J.’s fear justified.  
“Yar, it be time to claim your treasure. Those fortunate enough to bear a precious key, come forth with it.” We each go to different chests testing out our keys  
“Is this the best you can do?” Duncan had a bag of chips and a candy bar. Dad finger guns at him.  
“My key has no chest.” I bring up as Duncan holds out the candy bar to me.  
“Oh, yeah, ha-ha,” his voice was back to normal. “I forgot to mention that some of the keys don’t open any chests.” Owen complains and then gets shot with a tranquilizer as he was inside the mouth of a bear.  
“Oh, and look, an invincibility pass. Lucky me.” We all glare at Heather.  
“I hope everyone got the treasure they were looking for… and more.” The only ones without a chest gift was D.J., Bridgette, Owen, and me. “But now it’s time to do your duty and send one of you off the island for good. So cast your votes, and I’ll see ye buccaneers back at the campfire after sundown. Arr, Ha-arr.” Dad was getting the last of his pirate out of him.  
/”Sorry Trent, but you’ve messed up. I doubt she’s mad at you so you still have a chance with Gwen after all is said and done.”\  
“And now the moment we’ve all been waiting for, the moment of truth, marshmallow time!” I smile glad to have the dessert back. “You know the routine, whoever doesn’t get a marshmallow, it’s curtains for you.” He builds up the suspense as I smile. “Kaylub, Izzy, Geoff, Gwen, Leshawna, Lindsay, Bridgette, D.J., Duncan, Owen, marshmallows for the lot of you.” Trent came to the realization he was the goner. “Sorry, dude, you’re out.”  
“That’s right, take your two-timer ways back to where you came from.” Leshawna was first at him.  
“What? But I thought I was getting along so well with everybody.”  
“I guess you were wrong.” My glare was ice directed at Heather.   
“You don’t even care, do you?” Gwen called out, obviously still caring for Trent.  
“Hey, just playing the game.”  
“Why should you care? You think I’m a cliche.” Lies.  
“Where did you get that from?”  
“Her.” Heather waved as my glare grew stronger.  
“You know, even after all this, I still didn’t vote you off.” Called it.  
“Then how’d I get the boot?”  
“My bad. I jumped the gun on that one. Told everyone to turn either you or Heather.” Leshawna said with resignation.  
“But tonight I’m invincible. So that leaves poor ol’ Trent here.” Heather was smirking.  
“Looks like we got played. Sorry, hon.”   
“Oh, no.”  
“It’s okay. Whatever happened, happened. At least we both know that we’re still okay. We’re still okay, right?”  
“Yes.” Gwen smiles at him.  
“I want you to be tough and fight to the end for both of us. I’ll be watching and cheering for you back home.” The two plan to share a kiss, but dad interrupts them.  
“Trent, you have an appointment at the dock of shame and a ticket for the boat of losers. Let’s go.” We all go down to the dock and bid him farewell.  
“Love to stick around, but it’s been a long day, and I’m gonna hit the showers. Great work, everybody.” Heather walks away. I glare at her retreating form.  
“The sewage pipe can be connected to the shower water through the piping in the back of the communal bathroom.” I see Leshawna’s eyes sparkle as Duncan leads me to the cabin where we cuddle for the night. I smile when I hear Heather’s screams.


	17. Hide and Water Tag

“Hey,”  
“Don’t even try it Heather.” I glare at the cold eyed female who was followed by the blonde Lindsay. I felt sorry for her, but she’d have to see the truth for herself or she’ll never believe it.  
“Ugh, well it’s not like I wanted to talk to your fake girl self anyway. Bet that’s why Duncan even likes you is because you’re so feminine you’re just a few parts short of being one. Once he realizes that those parts are important, he’ll ditch you and go right back to Courtney, like it should be.” She smirks through her glare as I just glare back.  
“What are you doing here?” Bridgette, Geoff, Duncan, and D.J. were all standing there eyes glaring harshly at Heather who smiled sweetly.  
“Just wanted to say good morning to the only child on the show.” She then walks away. I see Lindsay giving me an apologetic look and I wink at her proving I’m fine.  
“You okay, shortstack?” The entire crew was looking at me with concern. Once a Bass always a Bass am I right? I nod as Duncan wraps his arms around me and I listen to his heartbeat.  
“She’s so the next one gone.” Bridgette says as we all agree.  
/”There’s an old saying. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me. I stand by that saying. Also I know Karma is coming for her bigtime and I can’t wait for it.” The smile I give replicated my fathers when he plans a twisted challenge for us campers.\  
“Today’s challenge is a good, old-fashioned game of hide-and-seek. You all get ten minutes to hide before Chef Hatchet comes looking for you.” We are all at the dock as dad explains the challenge. “With his military background and advanced degree in manhunting. He’s uniquely qualified to make this game excruciatingly hard.” Chef pulls out a water gun with a laser focus which is trained on Duncan’s head. I giggle.  
“What’s with the water gun?” Duncan points out.  
“The lifeguard chair is home base. When he finds you, Chef will try to spray you. If you escape his blast, you can try to run to home base. But if he catches you on your way, he’ll douse you.”  
“Ooh, so we’re gonna get splashed by a bit of water. Now I’m terrified.” I giggle softly as he winks at me.  
“Why don’t you demonstrate, Chef?” He prepares the water gun before blasting my father about a mile away with the water. I blink, but also bite back a giggle.  
“Not on me, dude!”  
“So how do we “win” this game?” I glare at Heather.  
“You’ve got three options. One, don’t get discovered in your hiding place. Two, run to home base before Chef blasts you. Three, once you’ve been caught, help Chef find other campers. Do any of those and you win invincibility. All clear? You get ten minutes to hide. Go!” We all book it as I instantly go to my father’s trailer. Yes I know where his trailer is and I’m currently hiding in his bed.  
I hear the door open and the blanket pulled away to reveal a smirking father with a softness in his eyes.  
“Smart, but you do realize this is technically out of bounds?” I smirk back and rise to a sitting position as matching obsidian eyes meet.  
“You weren’t specific.” He chuckles as I giggle. We share a moment of comfortable father-son silence.  
“Out,” I nod and give him a hug before exiting the trailer and entering the woods where I soon spot a cave.  
I entered it to see that the other guys were already there.  
“And shortstack stumbles in right on cue.” I roll my eyes at Duncan as I go over to them.  
“What’s this?”  
“We’re in trouble, okay? There are six chicks on the island and only five dudes.”  
“I know. Nice odds!” Duncan smacks Geoff as I roll my eyes with a smile.  
“No, butt-brain, bad odds. If I noticed it, chances are that sooner or later they’re gonna notice it, too, and when they do, They’re gonna pick us off one by one. We’ve gotta do something about it.”  
“Those girls are gonna kill each other sooner than vote us off.” I think back to the many times that Leshawna and Heather had fought.  
“I don’t know, dude. Bridgette and me, we kinda hooked up. I don’t feel right about joining an alliance without her.”  
“Finally, it took you two forever.” Geoff smiles my way.  
“Let me tell you the truth about women. They’re all sisters, and when push comes to shove, they’re gonna stick together. Haven’t you ever seen a chick flick before?”  
“He’s got a point, so how about this Delinquent, Guys alliance, plus Bridgette. She can be our in to the girls side.”  
“Nice thinking, shortstack. But she could betray us for the girls. You know how they are. We’ll have to keep her on the downlow of the alliance.” We all agree to this even Geoff agrees.  
“All right, now clear out.” I raise a brow at Duncan.  
“What?” Geoff asks the question we’re all thinking.  
“I was here first, dude. This is my hiding spot.” The others and I start to leave only to be pulled back into a sturdy chest as arms wrap around me. I blush and look up to see Duncan smirking down at me. “Not you.”  
“You do know that if one of us gets caught the other goes down too.”  
“I’ll protect you.”  
“Awe, that’s cute, but I don’t need protecting.” I sit on a rock as Duncan sits across from me.  
“Are you sure about that?” He looks me up and down with a smirk as I blush. “You’re not exactly the most physically fit, shotstack.”  
“I might not have the juvenile physique you have, but I did have basic self-defense training which earned me a good muscle mass.” He chuckles as I roll my eyes. I was about to say something else when we both fell quiet hearing footsteps. We share eye contact and he points for me to go hide behind some of the rocks in the back. I do so and even pull up my hood to blend more with the darkness. He stands up and soon Chef has him.  
“All right, already. You got me. Sheesh.”  
“I guess that’s everyone, then.”  
“What about Leshawna?” Geoff asks.  
“Leshawna? But I searched everywhere. The water!” They then take off as Duncan lags behind a bit to give me a wink before running off to catch up.  
I exit the cave once I can’t hear the footsteps and make my way back to camp. Dad sees me and wraps an arm around me and leads me to the others who were all cheering over Leshawna being in the safe seat.  
“All righty, campers, game’s over. Time to pick the loser and send them home.”  
“Hey, Bridgette-” I was cut off by Leshawna blocking my way to the other female.  
“We know you guys gotta alliance going, sorry sugar-pie, but we can’t let you go and cry wolf to them boys about how we’re voting,” Leshawna said as I blinked. Owen.  
“Wait, they have an alliance going?” I was confused and a bit hurt and it showed as Leshawna softened.  
“They must have thought you were too much of a girl to join their little alliance,” I winced at Heather's words as tears prick my eyes.  
“Awe, now come on sugar-pie no need to cry. She didn’t mean it, plus they must have thought you were still hiding. I‘m sure Duncan plans on informing you about the alliance soon enough.”  
“But he didn’t when the game had been over for a few minutes now and still Duncan hasn’t added him to the man’s alliance. Maybe it’s due to him not being a man.” Heather kept at it despite the glares she was getting from the other females.  
“Come on in, sugar-pie.” I nod with a sniffle as I was brought inside. The girls started to discuss who to vote off and I heard Duncan’s name.  
“Why not Geoff?” I bring up shocking the others as I was originally silent.  
“Wait what?” I hear Bridgette ask from outside.  
“You brought up my boyfriend, I bring up yours.”  
“I agree, Geoff is popular and good at sports,” Heather said which actually shocked me.  
“I mean, Duncan’s fit as well and his mean personality seems to be keeping him on the show longer than normal,” Gwen said as Leshawna nodded.  
“Guess we’ll see where the chips fall.” The girls split 50-50 on who they’ll vote off. I smile and make my way to where the guys are.  
“So, the girls know about the alliance, due to this I couldn’t get Bridgette on our side. I convinced them that I have no part in it, and managed to get them to be split between Delinquent and Geoff.” I get nods from the guys.  
“We’ve decided Bridgette has to go.” I look to Geoff who looks away from me.  
“Why?”  
“She’s athletic and liked by the others, only chance we got.” I nod understanding the reason.  
/”Even if Geoff doesn’t vote with us it’ll still be four to three on both guys. I kinda feel bad, but the only other option I was going for was Lindsay, but seeing how her and Heather are at the moment, she’s so close to discovering the truth about Heather that I don’t want to vote her off too soon.” I shrug. “Sorry Bridgette, but at least you don’t have to stay here with the stench following you.”\  
We were at the campfire as it was down to Duncan, Bridgette, and Geoff. The two guys were leaning away from her.  
“There are only two marshmallows left on this plate. You each racked up a lot of votes. One of you is going home tonight and cannot return… ever. The next marshmallow goes to…” He builds up the suspense as I watch Geoff get the next marshmallow. “The final marshmallow of the night goes to…” he builds up the suspense as Duncan is calm. He does get the last marshmallow which seems to shock the other guys despite me telling them I set up the even split in the girls. “Okay, that was a shocker. Even I’m shocked, and I knew the answer.”  
We all go and see Bridgette off as Geoff admits to not voting Bridgette off and Duncan is reasonably pissed. The two go for a kiss, but Geoff leaves her hanging due to the fact that she still has skunk on her.  
Geoff gets punished by sleeping tied up in a sleeping bag upside down in a tree. I felt bad for him, but Duncan wouldn’t have mercy on a traitor.


	18. Bikeathon

The guys, Gwen, and Leshawna were all playing a game of frisbee while Heather was suntanning and Lindsay was flyswating. I was just watching the game when we all heard wailing.  
“Ooh, sounds like Geoff’s having a hard time accepting Bridgette’s been kicked off, huh?” Leshawna brings up.  
“Yeah. He’s so weak. Um, we better go check on him.” Duncan says as we leave with D.J. and Owen.  
“Wait, what about our game?” Leshawna asked as I shrugged.  
Geoff was exiting the confessional when Owen pulled him into a hug.  
“Look, man. Voting Bridgette off was just a strategic move. If the guy alliance stands strong, we can win this. So are you in?” We all put our fists in, except for Geoff.  
“I don’t know, man. Going on without Bridge is like--” he then sniffs the air. “Oh, is that bacon? Ah, crap! Did I miss breakfast?” He then goes running off.  
“I think Geoff is in.” I giggle at Duncan before covering my ears as we hear feedback from the loudspeaker.  
“Morning, campers. Your next challenge awaits you at the arts-and-crafts center.” My dad said as we all arrived at the crafts center which brings back memories. I slip my hands into my pockets and look down.  
“Welcome to the arts-and-crafts center.”  
“More like the arts-and-crap center,” Duncan brings up as I giggle.  
“Yeah. It used to be an outhouse, but now it’s where Chef parks his road hog.” The guys oogle the piece of machinery as I admire the color scheme. “Which brings us to your challenge… Building your own wheels.” Owen gets excited, but Duncan doesn’t return his high-five. “You’ll find all the parts you need in our bike depot.” Owen was still enthusiastic but to a lesser degree. “Once you’ve collected the basics, you can trick them out anyway you want using props from the arts-and-crafts center.” He hops on his rover. “Best design wins. And to prove I’m a nice guy, I’m even throwing in a bike manual.” Heather catches the moldy book as dad drives away.  
/”Truth time, I’ve never ridden a bike before, or been near a bike… this might be it for me.”\  
“Uh, Duncan?” Hearing his name called instead of the nickname I gave him had Duncan looking to me confused and worried.  
“What did I do wrong?” I giggled at his fear.  
“You didn’t do anything wrong… It’s just… I’ve never ridden a bike before.” He sighed glad to know he wasn’t in trouble.  
“You can just hitch a ride with me. There weren't any rules against that.” I nodded. “Why don’t you go get some drinks and I’ll work on the bike.” I rolled my eyes and went off getting drinks for us and the other guys.  
“Campers, time to judge your bikes. Put your pedal to the metal and meet me at the craft center.”  
We all met back at the craft center as I noticed the “Mad Max”, but it only had one seat on it. I tilt my head confused as an arm wraps around me. I looked up at Duncan who smiled at me.  
“Well, Campers, we gave you the parts. Let’s see what you came up with.” He goes down the line and arrives at Duncan and I.  
“Wicked “Mad Max” mobile, dude!”  
“Kaylub, where’s your bike?”  
“This is his bike, we’re sharing.”  
“What? That is so not fair!” Heather called out.  
“No rules against that.” Dad says as he smiles and moves on. After going through everyone, he notices that Izzy and Leshawna were missing.  
“Oh, well, their loss, ‘cause this is where it gets good. We’re gonna race these babies… hard.”  
“Ha! Awesome, because my bike is built for speed. Right, Lindsay?”  
“Totally!” I shake my head at Lindsay’s blind obedience.  
“Yeah, unfortunately, you won’t be riding it, Heather. You’ll be switching bikes.” I bit my lip to hide the giggle as everyone else seemed worried. “Yeah, cruel twist, huh? All righty, then. See you at the beach.”  
We all go down to the beach as D.J. looked like a knight ready to slay a dragon with makeshift armor.  
“Okay, here’s how it works. Everyone picks a name out of the helmet to see whose bike you’re riding. If your bike makes it across the finish line, then you get to ride it in the final round for invincibility.” Everyone pulls a name except for me since I ride with Duncan. We get Lindsay’s bike. “Now before we start, has anyone seen Leshawna or Izzy?” We shake our heads. Duncan places me on the bike as he gets on behind me.  
“I built my bike so you would be holding on to me making it easier to ensure you were safely on it, but since this isn’t my bike, just hold onto the handlebars, K shortstack?” I nod with a light blush realizing he put so much effort into his bike for me.  
“Okay, racers.” I grip the handlebars so tight that my knuckles turn white. His hands placed on mine make me relax as I feel his chest on my back. “On your marks, get set… paramedics on standby… and drag!” I hold onto the bars in fear as soon sand flies by us and we cross the finish line.  
“Yes! We have three awesome wipeouts by Heather, Geoff, and D.J. Four invincibility-race winners-- Owen’s fun machine, Heather’s speed machine, Lindsay’s sunset sally, and Duncan’s lethal weapon.” We all hear it as I look at the bike.  
“How do I stop this thing?”  
“Slam the hood ornament!” Owen does so and it comes to a stop only to fling Owen into Chef.  
“Awesome finish, Owen. It’s time to head over to the TDI Motocross.”  
We head on over as I hold onto Duncan as we were on his bike now. I was behind him with my arms around him.  
“Campers, welcome to the...moto...moto...cross...cross...challenge...challenge!” He made his own echo effect. ”Using your own bikes, you’ll race the course, avoiding hidden pitfalls. Cue the deathtraps.” He shouts out to someone. “There’s dodging the land mines, maneuvering through the oil slick, and finally, jumping the piranhas. Oh, and one more thing--first to cross wins invincibility. Last one to cross gets voted off the island. No bonfire, do not pass go, do not collect a marshmallow.” I blink at this and cling to Duncan a little tighter.  
“Don’t worry, I won’t let us lose.” I feel him gently pat my hands. I calm down as I loosen up a bit.  
“Racers, take your positions… and go!” We’re off as Owen gets blown up, ending his attempt. I feel the bike slip away under the oil slick and Duncan shields me from getting injured as we both get covered in oil. That ends our run.  
“You okay?”  
“I could ask you the same.”  
“I’ll take that as a yes.” I smile at him through the oil.  
“We have our winner!” Don’t say Heather, don’t say Heather. “Heather!” We all groan at this.  
“Yay, you won! We did it! We’re safe!” Lindsay was optimistic as I slipped back down onto Duncan.  
“That’s not exactly true. Heather is safe because her bike crossed the line first, But since Duncan, Kaylub, and Owen wiped out and didn’t complete the race, they technically didn’t cross the line at all, which makes you the last one to cross the line, which means it’s “Dock of Shame” time, baby.” Duncan and I manage to finally get up out of the oil and make our way to the finish line.  
“Okay, I’m so confused.”  
“It means I can’t save you unless I give you my invincibility. But I can’t do that--too risky. You understand.” Heather walks away.  
“But I won. I even built your bike.”  
“I don’t know what she’s talking about. You should just leave with your dignity intact. It will make you seem much more cuter in the instant replays.” I cover my mouth with a gasp.  
“But we were going to the final three together.”  
“Guess we’re not.”  
“Aren’t you even sad? We’re BFFs.”  
“Yeah, for the contest. I mean it’s not like we’re gonna be best friends for life or anything.”  
“I can’t believe you just said that. But we pinkie-swore. You mean I’ve been helping you all this, and you didn’t even like me?”  
“Uh, truth?” Lindsay nods. “Not really, no.” We were all glaring at her. “What? We’re not here to make friends. We’re here to become celebrities, remember?”  
“Ooh, that’s cold, brah.” Duncan said as Ice was in my glare.  
“Oh, like you’re such a team player. Going to cheat on your fake girl the second a hot girl comes around. Plus all you do is go around scaring the crap out of everyone.”  
“What the hell did you just call my boyfriend?! And at least I’m straight with people.” I was holding him back from literally attacking Heather.  
“Whatever. I have invincibility. No one can touch me.” Wanna bet?  
“This week.” Gwen said from above.  
“You really are mean! And all that bad stuff people say about you is true, like how you’re a two-faced, backstabbing, lying, little,” My ears get covered as I see Lindsay sticking up her finger. “I always told them they were wrong. I stood up for you because I thought we were BFFs, but they’re right. You really are a two-faced, backstabbing, lying, little,” my ears were again covered as I see dad smiling at this while Heather seems surprised. “And guess what? I don’t want to be BFFs anymore. I’d rather spend the day staring at Owen’s butt than shopping with you. And P.S., your shoes are tacky.” We all laugh at her.  
“Go jump in the piranha pool.” Leshawna and Izzy finally appear and land in the water.  
We all go down to the dock after getting cleaned up to wish Lindsay a farewell. It was sunset. She stops before me and hugs me.  
“Kaylub, show Heather how much of a guy you really are. You deserve the best.”  
“Thanks, Lindsay, I will.” She then gets on the boat with my dad and we all wave her farewell as she goes into the sunset.


	19. Psycho Killer with A Chainsaw and A Hook

We were all hanging together for a movie night and the genre was horror movies. I was instantly clinging to Duncan with fear at every bloody scene.  
“He’s coming out of the woods with a big, hacking chainsaw. That’s so cool.” I looked at Izzy with wide eyes.  
“Oh, no. Psycho killer man’s going for the car.” Owen was on his feet.  
“Yo, fool couple, stop making out and start the car.” Leshawna throws popcorn at the screen.  
“They’re going to be chainsaw sushi.” She laughs only to get scared as well when the woman screams. I buried my face into Duncan’s chest as his heart seemed to be racing, but not for the same reason as mine.  
“Great Canadian cheese. Now the car won’t start.”  
“Oh, man, I hate scary movies.” I agree with D.J.  
“Run. The psycho’s gonna get you.”  
“Here comes the blood fest.” I shiver as I hold onto Duncan tighter as his focus was on the movie.  
“Aw, the chainsaw psycho’s going back to the woods. He’s getting away. Yah! Good ending. Izzy loves scary movies.” I look to see her in Owen’s arms.  
“So does Owen.” I give him a smile as D.J. and Duncan give him a thumbs up. I relax now that the movie is done and release my death grip on Duncan’s shirt.  
“Whoo! Am I ever glad that’s over. I really hate scary movies.” I nod agreeing.  
“Oh, yeah, what scares you most? The part where everyone meets a grisly death or the psycho killer with a hook.” Duncan pulls out a hook hand as D.J. and I scream. Everyone else laughs as I pout.  
“Ah, come on, D.J., for a slasher flick, it was pretty tame.” Gwen was putting away the movie.  
“Yeah, there was hardly any hacking. Not like Bloodbath 2, Summer Camp Reign of Terror.”  
“No way. That’s my favorite movie. I love when the killer jams that guy’s hand into the lawn mower.”  
“Or when he pushes the chick off the dock and then she lands on a propeller blade that slices her in half.”  
“Or when he shoves that big dude’s head inside the wood chipper!”  
“Stop!” I cry out tears in my eyes as I shake in fear.  
“Aw, looks like Gwen and Duncan have more in common than bad fashion sense, maybe you two should hook up and drop wussy baby here.” Duncan glares at Heather as he comes to my side and pulls me close allowing me to hear his heart which calms me down. “Horror movies are just mindless guts and gore.”  
“Horror movies aren’t mindless.”  
“Yeah, they’re loaded with psychological trauma. Take a look at shortstack and D.J.” I was still shaking as D.J. was shoved to the ground by Leshawna.  
“Whatever. Does anyone have any idea what our challenge will be this week?” I shake my head.  
“Yeah. Where’s the Chris-meister?” Geoff asks as we then all hear the motor of a boat. We all go to the dock to see Dad and Chef packing up the boat of losers.  
“Hey Chef, where’s the fire?” Chef gets startled and then hops onto the boat as the two leave. I got worried as they left a backpack. I pickup the bag and look at the paper.  
“Escaped Psycho killer on the loose. Be on the lookout for a man wearing a hockey mask with a hooked hand and carrying a chainsaw.” I was shaking once I finished.   
“Ha, ha. He’s on the loose.” I look at Izzy with concern.  
“Oh, come on. They don’t expect us to fall for this. Scary movie followed by hasty exit, followed by strategically placed lame prop.” Heather’s point made me calm down a bit.  
“I-I don’t know. He looked pretty spooked.”  
“Pu-lease. It’s all part of their little stunt to freak us out.” I was going through the bag when I started to shake like crazy.  
“If this was just a stunt, why would Chris leave his hair gel?” I bring up.  
“Whoa. This is for real.” Gwen was even freaked out at this point.  
“Let me get this straight. Chris left us for dead, and now we’re all alone, while that escaped psycho killer with the chainsaw is on the loose?” D.J. asks as I shake.  
“No, we’re alone while that escaped psycho killer with a chainsaw and a hook is on the loose.” D.J. and I both freak out at Duncan doing the same thing.  
“I told you dude, not funny.”  
“Ugh. Neither is your chicken-little routine, except for you sugar-pie, it’s cute with you.” I blush lightly while still scared.  
“I can’t help it, I feel like I’m being watched.”  
“Duh. It’s a reality show. We’re always being watched.”  
/”To be honest, I can handle horror stories, games, and even real life horrors, but I can’t handle movies. I guess it has something to do with the music element and knowing there’s nothing you can do but watch.” I shiver.\  
“Ok, look, it doesn’t matter if this is real or a challenge. We need a game plan.” I nod at Gwen’s point.  
“You little fright wigs might need a game plan, but I need a facial.” Heather starts to leave.  
“Are you crazy? First rule of slasher films, never go off alone.”  
“I might actually listen to you if I were in a movie. We’re being punked. You’re so gullible. Hey, Chris, if you’re listening, next time rent one that takes place at a summer camp. If you losers wanna hang around and play boogeyman, go ahead. But I have got a date with exfoliation.”  
“I say we go back to camp and talk strategy. Who’s in?” We all follow Gwen as I notice Izzy and Owen sneaking off to the woods. To go makeout.   
We all sit at the fire pit as Duncan looks to me and I don’t look back at him.  
“Okay, rule number one, do not go off on your own. Rule number two, if you do go off on your own, never go into the woods. Rule number three, if you do go into the woods, never, ever, ever, make out in the woods, or you will die in the woods.” She then finally looks at us. “Where’s Izzy and Owen?”  
“Doing rule number three,” I say as she huffs.  
“So, are you mad at me about the whole hook scare?” Duncan whispered in my ear. I give him a glare.  
“I am, so be quiet. I’d rather not be caught off guard by the psycho killer.”  
“Hey, I was just messing with you. Plus know that I’ll protect you if he does show up.” I nod and he kisses my cheek as I blush lightly.  
Gwen made a chart of all the campers still in the game.  
“Okay, now that I’ve drawn a chart of all the players, we can-- where’s D.J. and Geoff?”  
“D.J. had to take a leak, so he took party boy with him.” Gwen face-palms at Duncan’s assessment. We all hear screaming and I recognize it as D.J.  
“Welp, there goes D.J.” I say as Duncan nods. Gwen runs off to go check. Leshawna then gets up. “Where are you going?”  
“I’m just going to go get some food. I’ll be fine, sugar-pie.” She leaves.  
“She’s a goner.” I nod at Duncan as we wait for Gwen to return.  
“Where’s Leshawna?”  
“She went to go get some chow.” She crosses her off the list.  
“Where’s Geoff?” She asked after a while.  
“Probably bit it with D.J.”  
“Well, it’s no surprise. Rule number eight, the party guy is a prime target for psycho killers, right after the big, lovable jock.” She crosses the two off the chart leaving Duncan, herself, and me on the chart. “You know what really ticks me off? That I was trying to help them.” I feel heat next to me and see that Duncan has decided to light sticks on fire.  
“Live and learn, sweetheart.”  
“You really are a pyro, aren’t you?”   
“So, I like burning stuff.”  
“Is that what you went to juvie for?”  
“Like I’d tell you why I went to juvie.” Even I don’t know that… then again I never asked. He lights the paper on fire as I blink.  
“Holy crap. I’ll get water.” She runs off as Duncan winks at me.  
“And then there were two.” I roll my eyes at his smirk.  
“Duncan… Duncan… Duncan. Juvie… Juvie… Juvie.”  
“You and me, Psycho.”  
“Duncan?” I look at him with concern.  
“Don’t worry, I’ll distract him and you stick with Gwen, okay?” I nod as he kisses my head.  
Gwen returns and douses out the fire. She sees me on my own and huffs.   
“Let’s go get sandwiches.” I nod and follow her to the mess hall where we both sit and eat sandwiches. Then I hear a chainsaw sound and look to see a man with a chainsaw and a hook with a hockey mask on behind Gwen.  
“I wasn’t born yesterday. Please, we watch a scary movie with an escaped psycho killer with a chainsaw and a hook, and here you are running around.” He doesn’t respond as he just looks at her.  
“Gwen,” I start to go over to her.  
“Okay, I know actors without speaking parts don’t get paid much, but, seriously, dude invest in a dental plan and some toothpaste.”  
“Gwen…” I was now standing slightly by her.  
“Hey, you want a sandwich before you impale me with your big, scary hook?” He shakes his head. “Okay,” she starts to eat the sandwich. “Look, you can drop the charade, okay? I know you’re an actor with a hook prop, but frankly you’re not that scary.” He removes the hook to reveal a scabby wrist that had no hand. “Ew, gross. How did they get it to go all scabby like that?” He then yells raising up his weaponry. I grab Gwen and place myself between her and the psycho.  
“Kaylub, Gwen, he’s the real escaped psycho killer with a chainsaw and a hook!” I sweep his legs causing him to fall forward and drop the chainsaw then I hold him down with his arm firmly behind his back.  
“Ow, that was totally uncalled for.” I let my guard up at his voice and he easily escapes my hold causing me to land next to Gwen. “Man, I am so out of here. I was treated way better in prison.” D.J. faints as Duncan pulls me into a hug.  
We’re at the elimination campfire as Duncan’s still holding me close.  
“Well, it’s obvious to everyone that Gwen and Kaylub win invincibility. And, sadly, it’s equally unanimous that D.J. walk the dock of shame since he was the only one who screamed and bolted without the escaped psycho killer even being there. But no hard feelings, dude. You will be missed.” Owen initiates a group hug with D.J. before we all wave him farewell at the dock.  
“Kaylub, are you okay? He didn’t hurt you did he?” Dad was fretting over me as I allowed him to check me over for any cuts or injuries.  
“I’m fine, this is why I took those classes after all.” Dad sighs as he sits back on his bed next to me. “You’re staying here for the night.” I nod as soon we’re curled up to each other sleeping peacefully knowing that the other was safe.


	20. Ranger Work

Izzy was ignoring Owen as Duncan had an arm wrapped around my shoulder. We were all heading to the mess hall.  
Then we hear something go off and look to see that Owen was missing.  
“Wasn’t there just a 300-pound bag of joy talking to you?” Gwen asked Izzy as we all were confused.  
“I’m only 296, someone set a trap.” Duncan then shoves me away as a cage lands around them. “Or two.” I get up.  
“Good morning, campers! Or should I say trappers?” I look to see that my dad had a beaver in his hands. “Ready for today’s challenge?” He pulls out a knife as the others gasp. “Excellent, then let’s chat about it over chow, shall we?” I go to open the cage only for the same knife dad was holding to fly and cut Owen down causing the cage to open.  
“Thanks for pushing me out of the way. Though you could have just sidestepped over.”  
“I wasn’t thinking about that.” I roll my eyes as we enter the mess hall and are served paste. I pop in a lollipop as Dad smiles.  
“Campers, there are only eight of you left on total drama island. After tonight’s dramatic bonfire ceremony, only seven of you will remain. We’re nearing the end, people, so look alive.” I blink surprised. “Today’s challenge involves making like our province’s great rangers and game wardens. You’ll each have eight hours to trap an animal.”  
“Got one.” Duncan was holding Owen’s arm. I giggle.  
“A wild animal, which you must bring back to the campfire, unharmed. Rangers and game wardens often have to relocate animals for their own good and the good of campers.”  
“For my good, I might have to barbecue my animal. I’m starving to death,” Gwen said as Leshawna and Geoff go down after fighting over the paste.  
“Funny you should mention that, Gwen. Reward for winning today’s challenge is a meal of all of your favorite foods.”  
“I am so winning.” I glare at Heather.  
“So you’re not going to eat that?” I look at Owen confused.  
/”Me, winning? I didn’t think I’d make it this far, let’s see how it goes.” I shrug with a smile.\  
We met at the boathouse.  
“Everyone, choose an animal assignment.” Owen gets a chipmunk, Leshawna gets a frog, Duncan gets a raccoon, Gwen gets a duck, Geoff gets a beaver, Izzy gets a deer, I get a skunk and Heather gets…  
“Bear? Are you kidding me?” Karma. I smirk.  
“It’s the only animal left.” Dad shows the empty hat.  
“These degenerates get cute little froggy and wee baby ducky and I’m supposed to trap a bear with my bare hands?”  
“You do get 60 seconds in the boathouse to gather any equipment that might help.”  
“Unless there is an animal trainer and a zebra carcass in there. I don’t think it’ll be adequate. This is ridiculous.”  
“I don’t think I’ve mentioned the penalty yet.”  
“I don’t care. I’ll take it.” She starts to walk by dad.  
“Loser cleans the communal washrooms.” Heather freezes as I blink.  
“Sorry. I think I ate too much of that delicious paste.” Owen then farts as I shake my head.  
“All right, campers. You have just one minutes in the boathouse to grab your critter-catching gear.” I watch as the others go into the shed and I wait on the outside.   
“You’re not going to grab anything to help with a skunk?”  
“I’ve read that skunks are actually really mild creatures and the smell they have is just a musky smell. If I play my cards right, I won’t get sprayed.” My dad nods.  
“10 seconds remaining.” Izzy runs by with few boxes as time ends.  
“Guys look,” Izzy is holding a tranq gun and is pointing it at Heather.  
“Everybody ready?”  
“Yes,” we all say.  
“No.” Heather complains.  
“Game on.” I watch everyone else run off before turning and seeing Duncan talking to Heather.  
“You can borrow my chainsaw after I’m done.” I giggle.  
“Great. The bear can use it to skin me alive after he’s finished mauling me. Thanks.”  
“Well, I did pick something up that might help you.” He pulls out the deer headband.  
“Why would you want to help me?”  
“Because if you team up with us we’ll get to the final three.” I blink at this as he winks at me.  
“Not interested.”  
“Suit yourself.”  
“I usually do.” I look from her to Duncan.  
“She’ll be back. Just wait.”  
“And why are we doing this?” I ask as he wraps an arm around my shoulder.  
“Because we can then easily make our way to the finale by manipulating her. Out of the three of us, you’re most likely to win than either of us. Now let’s go win this challenge.” I nod as we both go into the woods then go our different directions.  
I manage to find a skunk den rather easily and lucky me one happened to be exiting the den. It notices me as I take a seat nearby and hold out some blueberries.  
“Hey there little guy, I got berries here and I only need you to come with me for a bit. I promise it’ll only be a minute and you won’t be hurt.” The skunk tilts its head and comes over chowing on some of the berries. I then gently pet the skunk who relaxed in the touch. I smile and pick up the skunk and carry it back to camp where I gently place it in the cage. I notice I’m the only one there and smile.  
“Guess I won. I’ll go check on Delinquent.” I head back into the woods and find him running from an auto-raccoon as it shoots raccoons at him. I side-step into the line of fire and catch the raccoon and pet it soothing the trash panda. The entire thing comes to a stop before dispersing leaving us alone. We were at the edge of a cliff.  
“How did you do that?” I shrug as I start walking back to camp. “No way you’re that good with animals.” I smirk.  
“It seems I am since I was able to handle the raccoons and my skunk without getting sprayed.”  
“Wait, so you already won?” I nod. “Well, at least now I don’t have to clean the bathroom.” We arrived where Heather and Gwen were. Gwen’s duck was there with my skunk. Heather opens the cage and I let the raccoon go inside.  
“Well, at least I don’t have to do the bathroom.” Gwen brings up as I nod.  
“Hey, what do you want to eat?” She raises a brow. “Everyone who brings their animal gets their favorite food.” She smiles and ruffles my hair as I swat at her hand.  
“I’ll tell host man my order.” I nod as she goes off.  
“Don’t forget, last camper to catch their critter cleans the washroom.” Dad says over the loudspeaker.  
“Well, I’ve got nothing better to do. I could help you bag a bear, deer.” He’s holding the antlers as we both smirk.  
“Fine,”  
“I’ll wait here for you two.” Duncan kisses my cheek before going off with Heather.   
Dad arrives as I smile at him. We get a table set up.  
“So, you’re sharing your prize with those who manage to get their animal?” I nod with a smile. “Smart, and kind.” He ruffles my hair as I smile. We both hear footsteps.  
“So, where’s the food?” We both looked to see Gwen as I was standing by the table.  
“Should be here any minute now.”  
“Open the cage!” We see Geoff come running up with a beaver den and dumps out three beavers.  
“Hey, man, impressive. And no rabies.” Leshawan also shows up and dumps out a frog.  
“I’m going to take a shower.”  
“Wait, you two get to have a meal as well. Since I won I’m getting everyone who brings their animal a plate of their favorite food.” The two nod as Leshawna still takes a shower.  
They both return as Chef brings up the food and we all start to eat… except for me as I wait for Duncan.  
“Woo-hoo! Chris, open the cage!” We both rush over to the cage as Owen arrives chasing a chipmunk who at first avoids the cage, since we didn’t open it, and runs around the table. I whistle to it and it hops into the cage followed by Owen. “Close the cage! Close the cage!”  
“Are you sure?” We both smirk.  
“Close it!” He closes it with Owen inside it.  
“Why, hello, ducky. Oh and what a nice, little raccoon you are, next to the sweet beavers.” I giggle as he gets bitten by all the little animals. “I’m the naturalist!”  
Duncan returns with a tranquilized Heather and Izzy who seemed both pleased and upset. I’m covering my mouth to stop laughing as I eat some chocolate mousse and the others enjoy their meals as well… except for Izzy and Heather.  
We’re at elimination as Heather is strapped to a wheeler still having a tranq in her butt.  
“You, uh, sure you don’t want to go to the infirmary to get your butt dart removed.” Both Duncan and I were snickering.  
“Not until Psycho hose beast goes down.” I shake my head and roll my eyes.  
“You’ve all cast your vote and made your decision. When I call your name, come up and claim your marshmallow. The camper who does not receive a marshmallow tonight must immediately return to the dock of shame to catch the boat of losers and leave. That means you’re out of the contest, and you can’t come back, ever.” I lean onto Duncan who wraps an arm around me as I get the first marshmallow. Geoff, Owen, Leshawna, Duncan, and Heather all get a marshmallow. I was quite surprised at the fact that Heather got one.   
“One marshmallow, two players. Izzy, Gwen, one of you has spent your last night on total drama island.”  
“Just give it to Gwen already,” Heather says in her paralyzed state.  
“Eh.” He tosses it to her.  
“Well, we all got to go sometime, right?” Izzy says as she stands.  
“You could make out with me first, if that would cushion the blow.” I roll my eyes at Owen.  
“Good night, everybody. Thanks for coming out!” She then disappears in a smoke bomb. We all were surprised.  
“Being the loser, you realize you still have some unfinished business.” I giggle.  
“Duncan, I require your services.” I start laughing as he glares at me.  
“Have fun.” I wave to him as I go to bed waiting for him.


	21. Cuffed Together

I was sitting on the steps of the cabins when I heard a chopper flying above and looked up to see Dad. He lands the chopper after talking for some time and makes his way over to us.  
“Only seven campers remain and after six weeks of bugs, crappy camp food, and even grosser bathrooms, our seven finalists are about this close to losing it. We strove for the best way to help the campers de-stress, then decided it would be way more fun to handcuff them together and see if we can’t push ‘em over the edge.”  
“Did Duncan’s parole officer send a care package?” Heather asked as Duncan wraps his arm around me.  
“Nah, all in the name of today’s challenge, the tri-armed triathlon.”  
“Tri-armed? Like three arms?” Owen asks as I nod.  
“Yes. Three challenges, two teams of two and one team of three, three arms per team except that one team will have four arms.”  
“Have you met these people? I am not being chained to any of them.” I glare at Heather.   
“Winning team members both get invincibility from tonight’s vote.”  
/”Heather is really the only person I can’t stand. Everyone else I can deal with.” I shrug.\  
I was cuffed to Heather who was cuffed to Owen. Gwen was cuffed to Geoff and Duncan was cuffed to Leshawna.  
“I wish I was cuffed with you instead.” I blush and roll my eyes.  
“This is a challenge of our nerves not who can keep us calm.” I respond as he groans.  
“First of our three challenges, competitive chow down.”  
“Oh, come on. This is like a dream I had once,” Owen says with a smile.  
“The doughnut-copter dream?” Heather asked as I raised a brow.  
“You’ve had it, too?” I roll my eyes.  
“Each team will have a feeder and an eater. Eaters must put their hands behind them, making it even more difficult for the feeders. One last thing. This is the wimp key, a skeleton key that will open any handcuffs. You’ll be offered the wimp key at each challenge to unshackle yourself from your teammate. But if you choose to accept it, you’ll both be eliminated.” I thought about it.  
“Hello! How do we win this thing?” Gwen asks.  
“Chef’s getting platters for each team. Title goes to the team who finishes their platter of delicacies fastest.” Duncan and Leshawna arm wrestle for who’s eating, and Gwen decides for her team. I just relax knowing Owen is easily going to win this for us.  
Chef brings out the food? Which is just gross food as I shrug.  
“Oh-ho-ho-ho! Delicious.”  
“I don’t think chicken is green in nature.”  
“Mmm, maybe it’s lemon-lime chicken.” I giggle and shake my head.  
We start spoon-feeding Owen as I look at the other two where Duncan looked like he was suffering as Leshawna just kept shoving food in his mouth and Gwen was getting annoyed with Geoff’s talking. We easily win as Heather slams the tray into Owen’s face.  
“The winners are… Kaylub, Heather, and Owen.”  
“All right, Owen, way to go! You are one champion eater. What a team.” Heather hugs Owen as I get dragged over.  
“Uh, thanks?” I blink at Heather’s sudden niceness and then Owen’s stomach makes bad noises and I wish I had the wimp key. “Speaking of teamwork, how are you with toilet paper?” We both get dragged into the bathroom.  
/“Owen is revolting. If I make it out of this garbage heap alive, I’ll issue a restraining order on his oversized butt. No offence.”   
“None taken.” We happened to be in the confessional together.\  
“Last chance for the tempting wimp key before part two.” Duncan and Leshawna look like they’re about to fight as we were all at the dock.  
“Look, since you and I aren’t really seeing eye to eye on this challenge, maybe we should--”  
“Zip it and focus, Owen. You’re not getting out that easy, and you better not say anything either fake-girl.” I glare at her.  
“What’s the challenge, Chris?” Geoff asked as the two seemed fine.  
“On the beach, you will find three canoes, one for each team. Your challenge is to paddle your canoe, while wearing handcuffs, all the way to Boney Island. Once there, you will open a package that is waiting for you. Go!” We all rush by my dad and I giggle seeing him disheveled from us rushing by.  
Owen pushes the canoe into the water as he and I paddle since Heather’s hands were both cuffed to two people.  
“Ever since I was little I feel like no one really listens to what I have to say. I’m a person who feels things deeply.” I nod as we were reaching the shore of Boney Island.  
“Owen, no offence, but I really don’t care. There! On the shore! I see them! Hurry up!” I glare at her as Owen and I paddle faster. We’re first to shore and Heather takes out the bottom part of the tiki doll Beth had.  
“Welcome to the second part of the second challenge.” Dad was in a chopper overhead. “Back in episode 8, your teammate Beth stole the Boney Island tiki doll.”  
“She said she returned that.” Gwen brought up as she arrived.  
“She lied. She broke it up and flushed it down the septic tank.” We all cringe away from that as Heather dropped it. “I know. The pieces in those packs need to be returned to the cave of treacherous terror. And you want to do it double quick ‘cause the longer you have the doll, the worse your luck. Oh, yeah, one of you has to piggyback the other. Enjoy!” I get on Heathers back as she gets on Owen. We then race off.  
“Fake-girl, you weigh like nothing, but all you eat is sweets, how?”  
“One, my name is Kaylub. Two, I work off the calories I gain due to the sweets and I eat other foods.”  
“Still, there’s no way.” I roll my eyes as we soon arrive at the cave. A spider lands on Owen’s face and we’re running away.  
“And that’s a point for the Gwen and Geoff dream team.” We’re back at camp and are sitting at picnic tables with cloths over them as dad is standing by a totem pole. Geoff and Gwen seemed to be getting along.  
“So an awesome day, huh? Moldy food fight, carnivorous beavers. But it’s time for someone to win this thing. Point each for everyone but Leshawna and Duncan who could still pull a stopper. Today’s final challenge.” Owen screams as dad reveals wooden carvings of the other campers who had lost. “The totem pole of shame and humiliation. Your task, assemble the heads in the order of which your comrades were voted out. Unless you want the wimp key.” No one says anything. “Time for heads to roll.”  
I start staking as Owen and Heather discuss Justin before I take him from her and place him on the stack.  
“Look who I found. Lindsay and Beth.” She clinks their heads together. “Too bad neither of them made it to the final seven. What a shocker.”  
“That’s because Beth cursed your team and you dropped Lindsay despite her loyalty.” She glares at me.  
“These pieces of wood have about as much brain power as those two traitors combined.”  
I look to see Geoff and Gwen having trouble and then see my dad holding a Courtney head while Duncan glares at him. Leshawna then throws Sadies head at him as he goes down. I giggle a bit.  
“Ah, Courtney. The one Duncan should have really been with other than Gwen. Really those two are so much better than your fake-female self.”  
“We haven’t gotten to her yet.”  
“Oh and Noah, “Mr. I’m the only brains on the team” yeah well look where you ended up.” She picks him up causing the tower to fall. I take his head from her with a glare.  
“Shut it. Now I have to start over.” I grumble as I gently place Noah back on the totem pole.  
“Uh, crazy girl. They should have made her wear a helmet.”  
“We’re not there yet.” Owen pitches in as he’s helping me.  
“Can you believe she’s roaming the streets, wild?”  
“Can we stop talking about this?”  
“Heather,” I huff out in warning.  
“Seriously, she’s a danger to sane people everywhere.”  
“That’s it!”  
“Give me the wimp key!” We both start dragging Heather against her will towards dad, but she’s fighting hard against us.  
“We… have… a… winner!” I look to see dad who seemed to have a concussion. “Ledonca and Shewanenan take it. That means anyone can get voted off tonight.” He then collapses as I look at him in concern.  
/”Mama always said if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all, in which case, Heather would say nothing ever! She is the meanest, the nastiest, the biggest--” My ears get covered as I just look away annoyed. “In all of Kalamazoo! No offense.”  
“Oh, none taken. I sort of respect you for it. Never do it again.” He flinches away as I glare at her.\  
“You’ve all cast your votes and made your decision.” We were uncuffed and sitting at the bonfire. “The camper who does not receive a marshmallow tonight must immediately return to the dock of shame to catch the boat of losers. That means you’re out of the contest and you can’t come back, ever.” I got the first marshmallow as Leshawna, Duncan, Heather, and Owen all get marshmallows leaving it to Geoff and Gwen. They were smiling… but now they’re not. “Yep, that’s one sure fire way to wipe a smile off a camper’s face. Show them a plate with exactly one marshmallow on it.”  
/”I can’t stand Heather, so yeah.”\  
“I’m left with just one marshmallow for the night. And either Gwen or Geoff is about to go home.”  
“It’s cool. I had a good time.” Gwen stood up as I shook my head.  
“What are you doing?! You’re wrecking it!” He points to her seat and she sits down. “The last marshmallow of the night goes to… Gwen. Geoff, it’s time for you to go, bro.”  
“What? Are you all crazy? Geoff is the nicest guy in the world.”  
“Yeah, bingo, sister.”  
“As if Heather could defeat nice.”  
The power of nice is huge and voting off fake-girl was out of the question. We’re not worried about you in that department, Gwen.” I see Duncan glaring at Heather for me.  
“No sweat, Gwen. Ciao, dudes.” Gwen then chases after him as I head to the cabins with Duncan.


	22. Playa de Loser

“Wanna come and see the losers with me?” I raise a brow at my dad. “Don’t worry, you can watch from the camera room.” I nod.  
“Sounds like fun.” He smiles.  
“Hop on.” He was on a jetski and I hopped on behind him.   
We went around the rock structures that blocked the amazing resort from view of the camp. I slip away and into the camera room as they start rolling for the episode.  
I watch dad do the intro and see everyone outside.  
Noah, Katie and Sadie were sitting at the pool bar, D.J. and Trent were relaxing with Courtney brooding near them, Eva was pumping iron, Beth was getting a mud-spa with the sharks, Bridgette and Geoff were making out glad to be reunited, Ezekiel was nearby the couple in the hot-tub, Justin was jumping off the high rise diving board, and Cody really needed to not be in the sun anymore as he was pink. Lindsay and Tyler were hanging together and kissing as well. Harold and Izzy were the only two I couldn’t see. My guess was that Harold was inside and Izzy was somewhere.  
Izzy turned out to be in the pool as soon everyone’s talking about their experiences on the show. Courtney believes she was wrongfully terminated, but no one agrees. I smile at this. Eva’s getting anger management classes. Harold even comes outside and talks about his experience.  
“He kissed a guy, twice.” I looked at the camera to see it was Izzy talking with Noah. I blush lightly.  
“No, I didn’t!”  
“Yes, you did.”  
“Didn’t!  
“Did.”  
“Did not.”  
“Did, did, did, did, did-did-did-did did-did did-did-did-did” She sang before Trent cleared his throat.  
“Uh, I can break this tie. He totally did.”  
“I have no comment.” I giggled at this as my fingers rested on my lips recalling my first kiss. Though I thought no one was there.  
Trent talks about missing Gwen and then Izzy pisses in the pool causing me to laugh and roll my eyes at her. Dad enters the room as I spin to look at him.  
“So, Noah?” I blush as he chuckles and ruffles my hair. “Well soon you’ll hear what the losers think of the final six, including you.”  
“That should be fun to hear about.” We share a laugh before he leaves to go host the show.  
Eva goes off about Heather. And then Izzy makes a comment about Noah being a shrimp. I giggle. Everyone goes off on Heather being mean and bossy.  
Courtney says she hopes Duncan wins with a dreamy voice as I glare at her through the camera. Everyone talks about Duncan next and it’s a mixed bag of him being cool and him being cruel.   
Owen was next as only Katie and Sadie commented on him before Trent was called out about Gwen. Courtney complains again about losing.  
“You’re here. You lost. Get over it.” Noah gets knocked into the water by Courtney as I grip the chair. It was back to talking about Gwen.  
Leshawna was next as no one could really say anything bad about her.  
“Anyone who can come up with something like that deserves my vote,”  
“But we all know you’d really vote for Kaylub.” Trent says as Noah was floating on the water. It looked like he blushed a bit.  
“Yeah, but really who wouldn’t… beyond Courtney.” I blush as no one could say anything bad about me and Lindsay even felt bad for allowing Heather to say all those mean things to me. Courtney even said she couldn’t really find anything bad to say about me except the fact that I stole Duncan from her.  
Nightfall came as everyone was at the pool and Trent was strumming his guitar. Cody was well sunburnt and I giggled at this. They start talking about who they'd vote for if they could right now.  
Cody votes for Gwen talking about her happiness is his happiness and I smiled slightly at that. It went around all of the campers with Bridgette being indecisive between Gwen and Leshawna, Harold being a definite for Leshawna, Beth for Owen and Noah commenting on Owen’s gas habit, Geoff going for Owen, D.J. talks about me as Eva agreed with him. Lindsay says Gwen as well and then dad appears in a puff of smoke.  
“Ha-ha! Okay, losers. It is time for the most unexpected twist of all time. Tonight, you will be voting the next camper off Total Drama Island.” He says as the other’s are shocked.  
“No, way.” Lindsay says as Bunny lands on her lap. She thinks it’s Tyler.  
“Oh, yes.”  
“Here’s how it’s gonna work. There are no marshmallows. I’m going to ask you one by one who you would like to see join you here tonight at Playa de Losers. Katie and Sadie, since you two share a brain, I’ll ask you both. Who would you like to vote for?” It’s a downward spiral of people voting for Leshawna on accident as Lindsay and a parrot vote twice. I am laughing so hard when dad enters the room and I wipe the tears from my eyes.  
“I’m so glad they didn’t say my name.” He was chuckling too.   
“Yeah, well it’s time to head back to camp, contestant.”  
“You know,” he pauses, looking at me as I got up. “You never did tell me why I became a contestant?” He chuckles.  
“I wanted you to have a chance at making friends that aren’t online and despite it not being normal… I wanted to give you a chance to have that normal teen life.” His smile was soft as we both left Playa de Loser and returned to camp.  
“Thanks dad.” He kisses my head as we hug.  
“Of course, anything for you, my sunshine.” I smile and head on to my cabin where Duncan was waiting.


	23. Drift Ashore

It was a rainy day as it had been raining for the past few days. I enjoy the rain as the rhythm of the droplets mix in with the wind and thunder makes me smile. I was watching Duncan sharpen a stick with his knife as Heather was doing her nails and Gwen was glaring at Heather.  
“Listen up campers, one of the most grueling challenges of any summer camp experience is the dreaded rain day, where all activities with even the remotest possibility of fun are canceled in favor of the craft tent. The forecast for tomorrow, rain, rain, and more rain, followed by rain. See you all in the craft tent tomorrow at 0700 hours.” I giggled at my father as the two girls were bickering.  
“It’s so nice to see you two getting along gives me the warm fuzzies.” I roll my eyes at Duncan.  
“In your dreams, perv.”  
“In your dreams, sweetheart.” He then wraps an arm around me as I pop a lollipop into my mouth. “Where’s Owen?”  
“Confessional.” I say as I had seen him head that way.  
“Well, let’s head inside.” I nod and follow him in where I look at Owen’s bunk and see his stash from Chef’s pantry. I giggle before being pulled into Duncan’s chest where I blush brightly and look up to see him smirking.  
“Guess we get the cabin to ourselves,” He smirks suggestively as I roll my eyes and break from his hold going over to the bunk we share and climb into bed.  
“Are you going to cuddle me or not?” I ask when I notice he wasn’t behind me.  
“Right away, shortstack.” I smile curling up into a warm chest listening to his soft breaths and rhythmic heartbeat.  
I woke up to a splash and noticed Duncan’s gone. I got up seeing that the cabin door was open and that the whole cabin was swaying. No way, I look out and see that we’re drifting in the water.  
“Where did all this water come from?” Gwen asks as I roll my eyes.  
“How should I know? Why don’t you ask the leeches?” I bust out laughing as Heather screams shaking them off.  
“You know, this is so ridiculous, it’s almost funny.” Duncan brings up as I nod.  
“Get out of the water!” I scream to them as I see a shark fin go by. They all rush over to me and land on the porch.  
“Quick, we need something big and chewy to shove in his mouth.” Gwen says as I try to think of something.  
“Owen!” I blink at Heather willing to sacrifice another life.  
We then drift ashore.  
“Okay, is anyone else a little creaked by this deserted island?” Gwen asked as I shrugged.  
“P-l-ease, any moron can see that this is one of Chris’s cheesy production sets with fake props.” Heather then kicks a real rock which has me snickering. Good one dad.   
“Yo, drama queens, we’ve obviously just drifted downstream. The producers will send a search party.” I look to Duncan then think about my dad.   
/”He’s not sending a search party. This is to test our deserted island skills just like with the horror movie challenge. Though they really should have put us on different islands. Heather’s going to drive me up a wall.”\  
“Ah, let’s just chill until the rescue team arrives.” Duncan rests on a rock looking to me to join him as I shrug, laying down on his chest.  
“What if there isn’t a rescue team? What if the producers think we’re dead? I say we build a raft and try to sail back to camp.” Gwen brings up as I look at her.  
“Unlikely, no campers, no show. Also do you know where camp is?”  
“No, but I know you do.” I shrug enjoying her logic.   
“We’re staying put.” Duncan wraps an arm around me holding me close as Gwen glares at him.  
“Duh, we’re not lost. This is just Chris’s lame attempt at challenging our shipwreck survival skills. I’m onto you, Chris!” She shouts to the sky as I roll my eyes. “I’m going for a walk.” She puts on her shades and walks away.  
“You guys want food?” The two look at me as I roll my eyes. I get out of Duncan’s arms and head over to the cabin.  
“Hey, you three, if you’re done yelling at each other, I found us a place to rest.” We all hear Heather scream, and we all go running to see a tree house with a skeleton prop and a t-rex skull. Then thunder rumbles and I look up at the clear sky.  
“So still think we’re downstream from camp?” I look to Heather behind us.  
“Okay, I’ve been wrong before.” Duncan says as I bust out laughing.  
“Okay, I know I suck with scary movies, but these are just bones and props that have you scared?” The three glare at me as I go up to the skeleton. I giggle and untie it, placing it by the door.  
“This is obviously just another survival challenge, you can’t scare me, Chris.” Obviously he can.  
“What’s obvious is that we’re stranded on a deserted island and we’ll die unless we build a raft.”  
“Actually rescue fires are the best chance of getting saved as a raft, without proper directional guides, can lead you back to the same island, or even get you more lost.” But no one was listening to me as the three bickered.  
/”Whoever thought “every man for themselves” was a good plan must have died horribly, because it’s a stupid plan.” I sigh.\  
“Fine. Then let’s make a new rule. Every camper for themselves.”  
“Fine!” The two agree as I was going to protest only to get dragged away by Duncan.  
“You’re an idiot.” He blinks at me as I cross my arms. ““Every camper for themselves” is the worst idea ever and you’re not even on your own because you have me.”  
“I know, shortstack, but those two were driving me nuts. Best to split off from them for now. Now let’s go hunt some food.” I roll my eyes.  
/”I could have told him about Owen’s stash of snacks, but the fact that he hadn’t realized at this point equals no hope for him, plus I always have lollipops on me.” I pop one into my mouth to prove a point.\  
We went hunting as I gathered up tropical fruit which had no reason for growing in northern Ontario other than the budget was tight and I noticed delinquent with a rather large egg.  
“Um… you should put that back.”  
“Don’t worry, shortstack, it’s fine.” I’m dating an idiot. Strong, protecting idiot, but still an idiot.  
We return to the others with our finds to see that Gwen was nearly done with her raft and Heather found Owen’s stash.  
“Hey, where did you get that chocolate?”  
“Owen’s stash.” He looks at me. “I tried to tell you.”  
“You got to share that with us, man. We’re starving.” I raise a brow at him.  
“Oh, no. I believe the term was, “Every camper for themselves.” and since we’re alone on this island--” Something proves her wrong as we hear loud growling. Duncan wraps an arm around me protectively. I blush lightly. “Or not.”  
We hear the loud growling a few more times as I eat a banana.  
“It’s just Chris freaking us out.” Heather was scared despite her words. I shrug because it could be or it couldn’t be.  
“Well, whatever it is, I’m out of here.” Gwen had finished her raft.  
“You don’t even know where you’re going.” Heather shouts.  
“Who cares? At least it’s not here with you.”  
“I’ll trade you my egg in exchange for a ride.” Duncan pops up as I watch.  
“Deal.”  
“You coming, shortstack?”  
“I’ll be here when you come back around.” Duncan smirks and kisses my head before heading onto the raft with Gwen.  
“What? Hey! Hey, you can’t just form an alliance and leave me.”  
“Bye, Heather. Good luck.” Heather then tries to barter with them.  
“Looks like he left you too.” I look up to Heather and shrug. “Want some chocolate?” I raise a brow at her sudden niceness, but I could use some sweets. I follow her up to the tree house and bring the fruit with me.  
“So what’s with the sudden niceness?”  
“We were just left to die, I should at least be nice if I want to live.” I shrug and snack on the chocolate bar while she eats a banana. “Sorry about the fake-girl thing and the whole Duncan would dump you in a heartbeat for an actual female if he had a chance.”  
“Eh, words are just words, they only hurt you if you let them. I learned that from my dad.”  
“Wow, that’s really strong of you.” I smile at her. We then see someone come out of the bushes wielding a plunger and only wearing a loincloth. I blink as Heather screams hiding behind me. “Take him!” She pushes me down.  
“Woah!” I land in the guy’s arms and make a realization. “Owen!” I get out of his arms and shove a candy bar in his mouth which seems to snap him out of whatever state he was in.  
“You completely freaked me out. And what is with that fake beard?” Heather jumped down and pulled on his beard.  
“Ow. Heather, is it really you? You’re not a mirage?” He slaps her and pulls her hair causing me to snort.  
“Ow! Do you mind?” We all hear screaming as I look up to see Gwen and Duncan dealing with the prehistoric goose that was mother to the egg. I told him not to take the egg. I toss a rock causing the bird to let go of Delinquent causing the two to fall. The land in front of Owen.  
“Owen?” Gwen asked as the two were taken up into a hug.  
“Oh, my brethren. At last we’re together. I shall never let go.” And then a reason for him to let go lands on us in the form of a giant snake. “Oh, let me rephrase that, Run!” We all book it up into the tree house where Duncan holds me close as we all shake looking at the snake.  
“What’s with the fake beard?” Gwen pulls on the beard as well.  
We enter into the treehouse where Owen initiated a game of I-spy. I was laying on the top bunk staring at the ceiling.  
“Okay, I spy with my little eye something that is caramely.”  
“Mallomars?” Duncan responds to him unamused.  
“Oh, right again. Okay, it’s your turn, Mr. Coconut.”  
“He knows it’s just a fruit, right?” Gwen whispers.  
“That’s it! I am done with this game. I can’t bond with you guys anymore because you’re all crazy.” Heather shouts as I sit up.  
“You say that like you’re not.”  
“I am the only one left on this show with a shred of sanity.” I raise a brow.  
“Ha! And this coming from the girl who changes friends more often than I change socks.” Duncan brings up.  
“Which is so not often enough by the way. At least I’ve got my game on.”  
“”Game on.” Hello. None of us are in the competitions because the producers think we’re dead. Which means we’re gonna die on the freaking island.” I blink at that thought and shake my head. Dad wouldn’t forget about me. Tears threatened my eyes as I looked away. Bad memories flash in my mind.  
“We are?” Owen freaks out only to be silenced by Heather sticking a banana in his mouth. “Guys, you know what we need to do?”  
“Run for our lives and leave you and Mr. Coconut behind?” I giggle at that glad for a distraction.  
“No, we need to confess our sins.”  
“No thanks,” I say standing with the others.  
“Oh, no, seriously. I confessed all my sins. It felt great. Don’t you want to clear your conscience before you die?” We all shared a look before going into storytelling mode.  
“Wow! So that’s why you went to juvie hall?” I asked.  
“Yeah, but at least it’s not as bad as what Heather did.”  
“I admit, it was a little unorthodox, but it doesn’t come close to what Gwen did, if that’s even your real name.”  
“Okay, but can we all agree that Kaylub’s reason for fearing the dark is the worst thing to ever happen to a kid?” Duncan was holding me close as I clung to him.  
“There, don’t you feel better now?” I was still shaking from the memories. A spider then lands on Owens face. “Ew! Ew! Spider in the bed!” He runs outside. “Hey, look. We got neighbors.” We all exit to see a smoke rising in the distance.  
“The rescue team?” I shake my head at Duncan.  
“Or a trick, courtesy of Chris.” Heather says as I roll my eyes..   
“I know how we can find out.” We then get decked out in war paint and wield weapons as Heather and I get sharp sticks, Duncan has his bow, and Owen and Gwen get the plungers.  
“I don’t know about this.”  
“We pretend we’re the headhunters and scare the bejeebers out of whoever is messing with our heads.” Owen brings up against Gwen’s doubt.  
“Great plan, just one problem,”  
“A 50 foot python with an attitude.” Duncan finishes for me.  
“Oh, that.” He then knocks it out by throwing Mr. Coconut. I blink at the simplicity.  
“Why didn’t you do that hours ago?” Gwen asked as we all glared at him.  
“What, and miss out on all our bonding? Come on! Let’s go ooga boogie!” We follow him through the woods.  
“This is it, brethren, we might not come back alive, so let’s get our oogie-boogie groove on.”  
“Yeah, Owen. I’m not so sure about this.” I pat Gwen shoulder as we all go rushing into the clearing seeing dad and Chef. Chef jumps into dad’s arms who handles the other man’s weight with ease. He was smiling as I stifled a giggle.  
“Hey, guys. It’s about time you showed up.” He tosses Chef back onto his feet.  
“Mr. Coconut, it’s a mirage! They’re just figments of my imagination.”  
“Owen, it’s not a mirage. It’s our production crew’s secret location. Or was a secret, until now.”  
“But what about the t-rex skull?”  
“And the prehistoric goose?”  
“Oh, those are just left over from a dinosaur move that was--”  
“You mean while we were shipwrecked, you were here basking in the lap of luxury a mere 100 feet away?” It started to downpour again.  
“Yes, Heather, that would be accurate. Sorry, I’d invite you in, but there’s only room for seven. See you at the campfire tonight.” I just laughed as the others were in shock.   
“Well, it’s been a grueling day, campers.” We were at the campfire that clear night. “Frankly, Chef and I are worn out. I hope you’ve learned two valuable lessons. First, always make sure your cabins are securely fastened to the ground, and second, the “every camper for themselves” idea sucks.”  
“That’s what I was saying!” He chuckles as I pout.  
“Five heads are always better than one.” Owen then clears his throat as we all look at him.  
“I think you mean six.” I blink as he shows Mr. Coconut.  
“Which brings us to yet another dramatic marshmallow ceremony.”  
“Hey, wait a minute, you have five marshmallows. That’s one for each of us.” Except Mr. Coconut.  
“Excellent, observation, dude.” We all get marshmallows.  
“Oh, no. You don’t mean!”  
“Yep. It’s time for Mr. Coconut to walk the dock of shame.” I shake my head at Owen’s obsession with the coconut. “Get it together dude, you’re starting to creep me out.”  
“By the way, what we confessed back there, stays back there.”  
“Oh, yeah.”   
“No argument.”  
That night I cling to Duncan tighter than normal as he soothingly pets my hair.


	24. Lost in the Woods

I woke up hearing the sound of nature and feeling the breeze a little too close to be just outside. I open my eyes and notice that we’re literally outside. I blink and gently nudge Duncan who mumbles before holding me tighter.  
“Delinquent wake up, we’re in the woods.” Heather’s freaking out seemed to wake him up as I rolled my eyes getting up while the others freak out. Then a helicopter sounds and Chef rolls in.  
“Everybody just shut up! How you got here is not your concern!”  
“What happened to Chris?” Gwen asked as I figured he was relaxing for the day.  
“None of your gosh-darn business what happened to Chris. I’m in charge now, and I’m gonna make you wish you were never born.” I bite back a giggle. “Your mission is to find your way out of the forest or die trying.”  
“You can’t be serious. We will die.” I shake my head at Heather.  
“Here’s how it works. Team one-- Delinquent, tiny, and chubby.” He tosses us a duffle bag. “Team two--Grim and grimmer.” They get a duffle bag as well. “Everything you need is in those bags. You’ll navigate your way north to base camp. The first team to tag the camp totem pole wins. And here’s a tip. Better set up camp before sundown, because once nightfall hits, you won’t even see your trembling hand in front of your terrified face unless you got night-vision goggles.” He holds up the goggles as I’m already trembling at the thought of the dark. “But you don’t.” He laughs as Duncan rushes up to him.  
“Oh, please, please, don’t leave us here. I’m begging you. We won’t survive!” I blink at his acting.  
“Grab a hold of your gut, soldier!” Duncan returns to my side with a smirk.  
“This is totally bonkers! We’ll be scarfed down by a grizzly!” Owen freaks out.  
“Oh, I wouldn’t worry about that. You’ll wish you saw a grizzly once you meet up with ol’ Sasquatchanakwa. He’s one mean mamma jamma.” The copter returns to pick up Chef. “Good luck, troops! Try not to die!” The beds get taken as well.  
“This isn’t legal! You can’t do this!” I hear Gwen gasp and see her with a compass.  
“Hey, peaches, file it with the network lawyers.” Duncan takes my hand and grabs Owen before we rush off.  
“Where are we going?” Owen asked out of breath.  
“I just wanted to get away from the girls, psych them out a bit, you know? Okay, let’s see what we got?” He starts to shake out the bag as we got a sleeping bag, binoculars, bug spray, and a map.  
“Yep, yep. It’s all good. Except one thing’s missing.” Duncan looks at him confused as I agree with him. “Fo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-od!” Then a growl responds.  
“What was that?”  
“We’re gonna die out here.”  
“We’ll be out of the woods in no time thanks to these babies.” He pulls out the night vision goggles as I smile.  
“Nice job, Delinquent.” He smirks my way.  
“What can I say? I’m a hardened criminal. With these babies, we can see as clear as day.” His eyes were on me as I was so grateful for his delinquent self.  
“Awesome. Let me see those.” Owen puts them on and stares directly at the sun. “Ah ha ha! My eyes! I’ve been blinded!”  
“All right, that’s enough. We’ve got a challenge to win.” He tosses Owen the bag. “Kaylub, take the map while I figure out where we are.”  
“But the map isn’t much use without a compass, is it?” I can agree with Owen’s reasoning as I look at the map.  
“Okay, the sun rose from the east, which means that’s north, so camp is that-a-way.”  
“The map says differently.” But of course men never want to be told that their directions are wrong. We end up climbing up a cliff which definitely wasn’t the way to camp.  
“Did you catch what Chef said about the sasquatchanakwa? That really freaked me out.” Duncan rolls his eyes before losing his footing. “Did you know that some people think bigfoot is the missing link between humans and monkeys.” I grab onto him to help him up.  
“Really? I’d say the missing monkey is right here.” He hits Owen on the head as we continue to climb.  
“No, I’m serious. Witnesses say he’s 8 feet tall, 400 pounds, and has B.O. that would make you hurl chunks from, like, 200 yards.” We get to the top.  
“Come on, if he really existed, don’t you think somebody would have caught him by now?”  
“Nah, he’s crafty.”  
“Duncan,” I point out the girls who were going in the opposite direction. He looks through the binoculars.  
“Hey… Hey, it’s the girls. And they’re going the wrong way! Typical chicks with zero sense of direction! Hey here’s a pointer, try checking a map!”  
“They have the compass.” I say as Gwen reponds confirming what I knew.  
“Uh, we would if we had one, but this compass tells us that’s north! You know? Like where Chef said the camp is?!” He takes the map from me and groans.  
“Enjoy the view up there, suckers!”  
“Great. Now we’re behind. We’ll just have to jump and dive into the river.” I shrug and go over to the edge.  
/”I’ve never personally dived from such a height, but after watching the other campers do it, seems easy.” I shrug.\  
“Oh, no. Uh, I don’t do daredevil dives anymore. Been there, done that. No can do.”  
“Then no worries. I’ll do it for you!” He pushes him over before looking at me and jumping with a wink. I giggle at him and jump as well.   
We end up getting on a raft and do some bonding before passing the girls who were taking a snack break.  
It was then that the traps and the swapping of stuff began.  
First it was us with the girls trapping Owen and taking our bug spray. We scare them with growling and snag some food. Heather was mummified up as they took our sleeping bag. We set up a pit trap and take the compass.  
When night fell, we had all of the girls stuff and I was wearing the night vision goggles. I smile feeling better about being in the dark. Then I hear screaming and turn to see Gwen on the shoulders of Sasquatchanakwa.  
“Run!” I scream running by the guys while grabbing Duncan’s hand. We all enter a cave as I shiver clinging close to Duncan as I’m the only one who can see that we’re in a cave surrounded by bats.  
“Duncan?”  
“Owen?”  
“Heather?”  
“Duncan?”  
“Heather?”  
“Gwen?”  
“Gwen.”  
“Owen.”  
“Now that we’ve taken roll call, what are we going to do? Did you see the size of that thing?” That thing was still with us.  
“I could have taken him.” His grip on my tightens as I shiver more.  
“Is that why you were screaming like a little girl?”  
“That was me actually.”  
“Kayub?” Heather asked as I noticed a bat really close to her.  
“Anyway, I think we’re safe here for a while.” I shake my head aggressively.  
“Depends on what you mean by safe.” I mumble out to Duncan.  
“I never thought I’d say this, but please tell me that tongue in my ear is Owen.”  
“No, that would be the…”  
“Bats!” We all run out a different entrance and soon collapse by a tree.  
“Do sasquatches get meaner at night?”  
“I don’t know. But I don’t really want to find out.” We hear growling as I cling to Duncan.  
“Since you guys still have supplies and a map, I guess you beat us.” I look at Heather really confused.  
“Ugh. Speak for yourself.”  
“It’s obvious they kicked our butts.”  
“Fine, whatever. You beat us.” Gwen looked disgusted with that realization.  
“Oh, look, if you guys want to bunk with us, it’s cool. Why don’t you, uh, set up camp while we look for firewood?” I look at Duncan confused as he drags me away.  
“You really think we can trust them with our stuff back there?” Owen asks.  
“As if.” He reveals he has the map. “Trust no one.” I pull out the compass from my hoodie with a giggle.  
We return to camp and start a fire as I curl up to Duncan who was leaning against a tree. I soon fall asleep listening to his heartbeat feeling an arm wrap around me.  
“Dude! Wake up. The fire, the girls, our stuff. It’s gone!” We both jolt up at Owen’s voice.  
“What?! Oh, the map!” He growls and facepalms.  
“We’re not done yet.” I pull out the compass as he smiles at me. “Let’s go!”  
We go racing north as soon, we can see camp. Owen gets a whiff of cinnabuns and goes racing ahead even passing the girls.  
”Ha! Go for it, dude!” He instead goes for the sticky buns instead of the pole. Allowing the girls to win.  
“No! Dude! We were so close. Why?”  
“Well, they’re fresh from the oven.” We both look at him unamused.  
“Those are mine! I was looking forward to those buns! All right, game’s over. Girls win, guys lose.” Chef snapped.  
/”I can’t believe it,” I’m laughing with tears in my eyes. “We lost because he wanted sticky buns.” I can’t stop laughing.\  
“This was supposed to be my day!” We were at elimination as dad still wasn’t present. “I had it all planned. I was gonna eat my sticky buns and relax with one of Heather’s facials while listening to Kaylub’s tunes,” I gasp as how dare he touch my sacred music, “and finishing Gwen’s diary as well as clean my toenails. That reminds me-- you need to sharpen this.” He tosses Duncan his knife back. “Then I was gonna loot the rest of Owen’s snack stash. But you all ruined it! So here’s your invici-darn-bility!” The girls get the marshmallows as Chef smiles erily. “Tiny, here.” I catch the marshmallow and look at Duncan who smiles at me. The suspense builds “You! Choke on this, glutton. You’re finished!” Duncan scoffs.  
“Good. get me out of here and back to juvie. At least with convicts, you know what to expect.” I giggle as he smirks at me. We all go to see him off as he stops in front of me and pulls out a skull.  
“A creepy suvaniere. I love it.” He chuckles and kisses my cheek.  
“You got this, shortstack.”  
We all meet back at the campfire.  
“So, looks like we made it to the final four.”  
/”Wow, how did I get here?” I smirk and then giggle. “Thanks, it’s due to you all that I’m even here. And I’m gonna win this.”\


	25. Spin the Bottle

I was listening to my music when I heard the loudspeaker go off.  
“Campers! Welcome to the semifinals. Today, we reward our challengers with an all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast. That’s right, genuine food byproducts served with fresh ingredients relatively close to their expiration dates.” I giggle at my dad.  
/”Final three. I still can’t believe it. It really shows how far flying under the drama radar can get you… also having a Delinquent by your side didn’t hurt either.” I blush.\  
We all go to breakfast and enjoy pancakes as Owen gets the table dumped onto him.  
/”The money would be nice, but Heather’s karma is going to the best prize ever... If I win, I’ll do something nice for my dad since he’s the reason I’m here after all… The stuff I had to deal with these past eight weeks is enough to last forever. Gwen is cool, Owen is… Owen, but Heather… no, just no… Owen’s strength is his appetite, Gwen’s strength is that neither of us hate her, and Heather’s strength is that her karma hasn’t come for her yet.” I giggle. “It’s coming for her hard core.”\  
We meet at the stage where I sit beside Gwen at the edge of the table. Owen is next to Gwen as Heather is on the other end.  
“Campers, welcome to the semifinals. The producers ran out of insane ways of torturing you, so… they asked the ousted campers for ideas. Turns out they had a lot. They provided us with the sickest, most twisted, and insane dares imaginable in “TDI’s” version of… spin the bottle!” Dad was standing next to a giant wheel with the campers pictures on it and a giant bottle in the middle. “Starting with Izzy, Trent, Cody, Justin, Noah, Leshawna, Lindsay, Beth, Tyler, Harold, D.J., Geoff, Bridgette, Duncan, Courtney, Eva, Katie & Sadie, and the homeschooled, misogynistic country boy, Ezekiel.” Chef arrives wearing a pink showgirl outfit. I blink at this. “Put them all together, and we’ve got a high-stakes game of “I triple dog dare you”!”  
“What is this, grade 5? Why don’t we just do seven minutes of heaven in a skanky basement closet?” Owen cheers for that idea only to get hit by Heather as I roll my eyes with a shake of my head.  
“Each player will take turns spinning the bottle. The camper that you land on determines the dare you’ll perform. You can take the dare yourself and win a get-out-of-dare freebie or inflict the dare of a fellow camper in hopes of booting them out.”  
“And if we refuse to do the dare?” Heather asks.  
“Oh, not a good option. Anyone who chickens out of their dare will be sent directly to the dock of shame, board the boat of losers, do not go to bonfire, do not collect marshmallow, and do not get to win $100,000.” I blink at the sudden death challenge. “Okay, who’s ready to humiliate themselves first?” After a few seconds of silence, I stand up.  
“Let’s have some fun.” I smile at my dad who smiles back. I spin the wheel.  
“Okay, let’s get this party started!” It lands on D.J. I sigh in relief. “D.J.’s dare. Take honey from a beehive.” A hive is brought up as I blink. “You can take the dare or--”  
“I’m taking it.” My dad blinks as I go up to the hive and hum a tune. It was simple as the bees surrounded me and I continued to hum. I gently took a little bit of honey from the hive and ate it as I returned to my seat without getting stung once.  
“And Kaylub earns the first freebie. Who’s next?” Gwen goes up and lands on Duncan. “Duncan’s dare, lick Owen’s armpit.” We all freak out at that even Owen.  
“I triple dog dare, Heather.” I smirk as Owen raises his arm and Heather steels her nerves.  
“You can imagine that you’re licking an ice-cream cone.”  
“Shut up, Owen!”  
“Minus the B.O. “  
“I’m warning you.” She then licks.  
“Oh, and the pit hair.” I cover my ears and look away as Heather collapses.  
“Oh, man, that was so sick. I nearly puked.” I see my father and Chef share a look. “Nearly.” Chef nods. They have a bet going don’t they?   
Heather was up as she spun the wheel landing on Ezekiel’s dare… chew your own toenail slowly.  
“Gwen! I dare Gwen.” Gwen does the dare with ease.  
“There. Satisfied?”  
“Very. I’m just picturing Trent watching this, and something tells me he won’t be eager to lock lips with you anytime soon.“  
“You should talk, pit breath.” I giggle at the comeback as Owen spins the wheel and lands on Beth. Her dare was to rechew a wad of Harold’s gum. He takes the dare as I shrug.  
“Dude, it’s chewed gum. Harold’s chewed gum.”  
“I know, but it must be pretty special if he’s been saving it.” He chews on it. “Full body. A delicate, fruity aroma with a hint of citrus. Robust, yet balanced. Oh, summery. And a crunchy center.” I blink at that as the others feel sick. He blows a bubble and it pops on his face.  
“Owen wins the second freebie. And a tetanus shot if you want.” He declines the offer.  
“Welcome back to “TDI’s” semifinals and a challenge we like to call “I triple dog dare you.” Kaylub, you’re up next.” I go up and spin the wheel again landing on Justin. “Justin’s dare is to get acupuncture by a cactus.”  
“Sounds nice, I’ll do it.”  
“You have a freebie, you can use it. Or dare someone else.” My dad says with wide eyes as I shrug.  
“I’ll save that for when I get something really sick. Acupuncture is a relaxing thing.”  
“Okay, if you say so.” I was then punctured by a lot of pinpoint needles as I can hear the others flinching. “Welp, Kaylub gets another freebie. Gwen, come on up.”  
She spins and gets Cody. His dare is ice in the undies and let them melt.  
“That’s it? I can handle that.” She does so.  
“Now that’s one cool chick with a frosty ‘tude chillin’ by the--”  
“Just give me the f-f-freakin’ f-freebie.” She takes the freebie as I giggle at dad’s puns.  
“My turn! And I’m taking the dare. I don’t care what it is.” Bad choice. She spins the wheel and it lands on Tyler.  
“Drink jelly out of Owen’s belly button.” I blink as Owen lays on a plate and it takes nine scoops of jelly to fill up his belly button.  
“Sorry.”  
“Shut up, Owen!”  
“Twice in a row’s gotta suck.”  
“I mean it!”  
“Well, especially since I never wash in there.” Heather nearly pukes. “Not ‘cause I don’t want to. I just forget.” Heather does it as she gets jelly all over herself and she looks traumatized. “Hey! You didn’t puke this time!” I cover my ears and close my eyes as she does puke again.  
“Okay, we’ll give Heather a few more minutes on life support before we start the next round. Okay, Chef made snacks. PB&J anyone?” I giggle at this as Heather doesn’t appreciate the reminder. We eat up.  
Owen spins and gets Izzy.  
“Nice! Come on, Izzy! Bring it!”  
“Give a purple nurple to a sleeping bear.” Owen gets excited only to realize he doesn’t know what a purple nurple is. He learns what it is and does the dare anyway. He comes back beat up and I giggle.  
I go up and spin as it lands on Eva.  
“Drink a dozen raw eggs.” I shrug and easily do the dare earning my third freebie. “Is there nothing you won’t do?” My dad asked, surprised as I shrug.  
Gwen spins and it lands on Harold.  
“Lick Owen’s toe jam.” She looks at Heather.  
“Oh, is that what that black gunk is?” I blink at Owen. Heather uses her freebie.  
“Good call.” Heather spins and lands on Geoff. “Drink powdered fruit punch out of the communal toilet.” Heather points to Gwen. “Quite the predicament, Gwen. Do you use the freebie or do I save it for an even sicker dare down the road? What to do. What to do.”  
“I use my freebie on her.” I say holding up one of my freebies. She smiles at me as I nod at her.  
“What? So not fair, that has to be against the rules.”  
“Nope, no rules against using your freebie for someone else.”   
/”While I would have found it extremely entertaining to allow her to drink from the toilet, she’s not Heather.”\   
Owen goes and spins as it lands on Cody. “Eat dog food.” He gets excited again. “Okay, down, boy! Heel!” They present him with the dog food. “Dude, you have two freebies you can use. Better yet, you could dare an opponent-- like, say, one without a freebie?”  
“You still have a bit of jelly on your lower lip.”  
“Oh go stick some more ice in your pants.”  
“It’s cool bro, my dog digs this food. Time to find out what I’ve been missing.” He gobbles it down. “Meaty tasting.” I exit real quick as everyone else pukes.  
It goes on as Owen and I do dares and Gwen and Heather dare each other.  
“I can’t believe no one’s dropped out and both Owen and Kaylub have 20 freebies.” Owen plays “twinkle-twinkle little star” with his as I just smile. “Gwen and Heather have squat, but not to worry. There’s still plenty to be motivated about.” Dad shows the other cards and Owen finishes off “Shave and a haircut” with his armpits. I roll my eyes as Gwen talks to him about something.  
“Chris, I’d like to give away half my freebies.” Both of us blink.  
“Uh, well, okay. Are you sure?” He splits his bottles and slides them to Gwen.  
“Hello?! Ix-nay on the onspiracy-cay! That is totally unfair. Get out your rule book and do your rule-checking thing. They’re obviously gonna gang up and whoop me with dares. There has to be a rule about this kind of thing!” I giggle.  
“Sorry, them’s the rules. Not a rule to be had. Nada.” I smile as Gwen spins and lands on Courtney. “Drink a puree of Chef’s mystery meat.”  
“Eeny, meeny, miney… Heather.” And that’s how it starts. We’d pass our challenges to Heather and when she’d try to do us we’d freebie out of it.  
Finally I spin and it lands on Lindsay.  
“Finally, I catch a break. There’s no way Lindsay could think of anything bad.” I giggle.  
“Ooh, you’re not gonna like this one. Have your head shaved by Chef.”   
“What?” I bust out laughing.  
“What’s it going to be, Heather? Are you going to do the dare? Or the walk of shame?” We all wait with anticipated breath for her decision. She kicks the razor out of Chef’s hand and it still lands on her head shaving her. I busted out laughing tears in my eyes at her misfortune.  
“Wow. Well, that was an unfortunate accident. Looks like Heather’s out.”  
“What are you talking about? He shaved my head!”  
“True, but you didn’t actually accept the dare. If you had, you’d still be bald, but at least you’d be in the game.” I was wiping the tears from my eyes, still silently laughing.  
“That was harsh. Tough break.” Owen said as I held my sides.  
“Sorry, them’s the rules.” Dad said as she grabbed onto his shirt collar.  
“I thought you said there weren’t any rules!”  
“Yeah, I know. It’s complicated. But here’s the rub-- you lose, they win.”  
“No way!” We all cheer. Gwen and I hug as Owen dances on the table.  
“Fine! But you’ll be hearing from my lawyers!”  
“Yeah, yeah, I know. It’s gonna be a long ride.” I pat my dad’s shoulder as we go down the dock to the boat.  
“A long ride to court when I sue you for everything you’ve got!” He turns to us.  
“And then there were three. Tune in to see who will win the check for $100,000 on “Total… Drama… Island”!”  
“You want drama?! You’ll be penniless! Jobless! Your name will be mud on every blog from here to Cape Breton!” Not if I can help it. I smile at my dad as he rolls his eyes before catching my eye and smiling back.


	26. The Rejected Olympics

/”It was interesting being here for eight weeks… the food… Well, I couldn’t taste it so really I have no comment… The people here really taught me that everyone is different and that some people you can’t get along with *Cough* Heather *Cough* Courtney *Cough*” I smile at the camera. “What will I be remembered for?” I ponder on this before smiling. “My great personality.” I giggle with a shrug.\  
I was standing with Gwen and Owen as we were in front of three bleaches with banners of our images behind them.  
“Now it’s time to welcome the 20 campers who did not make it to the finals.” I blush lightly as Noah smiles at me and gets darker as Duncan winks at me. Owen greets them as I just smile. “Would everyone who’s walked the dock of shame and left camp on the boat of losers kindly take a seat in the peanut gallery of failure? The side you choose should represent who you would like to cheer on to victory in today’s final competition.”  
Duncan, Noah, Eva, and D.J. all sit under my image and I smile.  
“Nice rug.” I look where Gwen was and giggle softly at Heather’s wig.  
“Oh, bite me.” She then smacks away Izzy who was messing with her hair. She smiles towards us as I raise a brow.  
“Why is Heather smiling like that?” Gwen askes as I shrug.  
“Maybe she loves her new do. Or she could just be really happy for us.”  
“Wow, do you ever have a bad thought about anyone?” I nod recalling the Triathlon. He shrugs.  
“Gwen, Kaylub, Owen, this is your chance to tell the peanut gallery of failure what you would do with the money if you won and why you deserve it.”  
“Well, I guess I’m pretty proud of getting this far.” Gwen starts us off. “I mean, maybe if I can survive here, the rest of high school won’t be so bad.” Izzy laughs at this before apologizing. “Well, I’m always good for my word, and I did promise to split my 100 grand with Owen, but that would still leave me a ton of cash. I guess I’d go travelling and then to university to study art history.” Leshawna cheers as Trent agrees.  
“Wow, that’s really sweet. Boring but sweet. Kaylub?” I blush.  
“Well, it was for my dad that I came on this show, so if I won I’d use the money for him to help fund his dream and with the extra cash I have… I guess, start up my music career.” My eyes were locked with dad who smiled at me.  
“Cute, Owen?” It was a few seconds before he answered.  
“I’d throw the biggest, hugest, sickest party ever and invite everyone here! Booyah!” His entire side cheers and some even leave Gwen’s side and go over to his.  
“At least not all of you are total sellouts.” I giggle noticing my four people still there.  
“Oh, oh, and I forgot. It’ll be on a yacht!” Lindsay leaves Gwen’s side looking apologetic.  
“Nice.”  
“All right, it’s time for the final challenge, the rejected olympic relay race. Each of the three parts was pitched to the committee but sadly rejected as an olympic sport.” I giggle seeing the hats my dad was holding. “First, each of you has to put on one of these.” I put on the horse hat as Gwen gets a chicken and Owen wears a cow.  
“I think it’s clear why this event wasn’t accepted.” Gwen was first to complain.  
“Dressed as a cow, a horse, and a chicken, run to the first location and shimmy up the pole to retrieve your flag.” My flag was black as Owen had orange and Gwen had purple. “If you don’t have the flag, don’t bother coming down off that pole.” I giggle looking at Owen. “Next, you’ll cross a 300-meter balance beam suspended across a massive gorge while carrying an eagle’s egg.” I see the others shocked faces and giggle.  
“Oh,” Owen chuckles, “is that all?” I face palm at this.  
“No. Below, your friends, the rare but real man-eating freshwater sharks.”  
“You had to ask.” I agree with Gwen.  
“The final leg of the race is a long-distance run, returning to the finish line here. First camper to arrive wins.”  
“Good luck, you two. If I had to lose to anyone here, it’d be you two.” I nod.  
“Aw, that’s so nice, I hope you lose to me, too.” I bust out laughing at Owen as he responds to Geoff’s call out for a party. His entire side cheered for him as Leshawna and Trent cheered for Gwen. D.J. cheered for me as I smiled.  
“On your marks. Get set. Go!” The three of us race off as Noah catches up to me.  
“I never saw you as a runner?” He rolls his eyes.  
“Exercise isn’t my forte, but that doesn’t mean I’m not fit under here.” I roll my eyes as we arrive at my flag pole only for me to keep slipping down. I sniff my hands and place a finger in my mouth as Noah looks at me confused.  
“Butter, my pole is buttered.”  
“Hah, guess I’ll help out.” I turn to see a toned chest and I blush as Duncan cleans the pole with his shirt.  
“Thanks.” I hop onto the pole and climb up still blushing mad as I hear a whistle from Duncan who is most likely staring at my butt. I get to the flag and pull it off before looking down. I decide to jump and I land with an “umph” on Duncan. “Thanks again.” I smirk as he groans. Noah chuckles as we race off ahead of Gwen who just got down.  
I notice dad with a fresh intern and giggle.   
“Why are you running with me?” I ask Noah who was panting.  
“Because, Duncan isn’t the only one who likes you.” I blush and stop real quick as we arrive at the next challenge. “Uh,” I giggle at his concern as I pick up an egg.  
“Don’t worry, I used to try balancing on the back of the sofa all the time.”  
“Well, see you on the other side… as long as you’re not dead.” I giggle. I get out over the water as Gwen arrives.  
“Coming?” I smile at her as I turn around to face her. She looks at me like I’m crazy.  
“I’m gonna die now. I’m gonna freakin’ die.”  
“You might.” She glares at me as I giggle before suddenly feeling a gust of wind which causes me to focus on my balance. “I might as well, so this is fun.”  
She comes out on the water as I notice Owen arriving as well. Then Gwen starts to lose her balance as Owen freaks out and I turn and see my dad looking rather concerned my way, and I smile reassuringly as he wasn’t the only one looking my way with concern.  
We all then hear angry caws and I scoff with a smile. Angry eagle parents, nice one dad. I see the birds and start walking faster before ducking. I then see Courtney kiss Duncan and freeze as he pushes her away. He snaps at her as one of the birds flew by me to get to the other two causing my balance to shake and I snap out of my state. Focus, you can deal with Courtney later. I then freeze again when Justin is revealed without a shirt.  
“Kaylub, ignore the anti-me and get over here!” I shake out of my stuber, with a blush, and hurry on over as the others snap out of the trance as well. I arrive first and start running again as Noah and Duncan run with me.  
“So what was with Courtney?” Noah asked as we ran.  
“Chick is obsessed with me because I’m her dream bad-boy,”  
“I might-”  
“Owen, No! Not in the confession can!” My dad screams as I giggle. The two look at me.  
“So that’s what that cupcake was about?” This confused the guys even more. “Gwen got a cupcake and Owen ate it instead.” Duncan laughs as Noah snorts.  
“Idiot.” I nod at Noah’s assessment as we soon see the finish line.  
I hear D.J. cheering for me as I smile, but then I smell brownies and feel footsteps like a stampede coming our way.  
“Move!” I see Owen coming towards us at inhuman speeds as he already pushes Gwen out of the way. I tackle Noah, and grab Duncan as we move out of the way. I fall and land on Noah who smirks at me.  
“I knew you’d fall for me.” I snorted at the pun and blushed before getting up as Owen had won.  
We all met at the campfire one last time as I’m sitting next to Duncan and Noah and everyone was away from Heather.  
“Here we are at the last bonfire ever. After eight brutal weeks, It’s my pleasure to announce the winner of “Total Drama Island.” Owen!” We all cheer as he gets the check for $100,000.   
“Hey, what can I say, Chris? I’m so psyched! This is just…”  
“Awesome?” We all finish for him.  
“Yes! Party next week, everyone!” We all cheer.  
“Owen, at this time, I give you the ultimate symbol of survival-- the final marshmallow.” Dad gives him the marshmallow.  
“I’ll treasure it for the rest of my life.” That doesn’t last five seconds. “Oh, screw it. I can buy all the marshmallows I want now.” He eats it.  
“Yo, Owen, you know what it’s time for?” I see the guys smirking and then look at my dad. I start snickering as soon they’re carrying him down the dock of shame against his complaints, and throw him into the water. I bust out laughing.  
“I’ve been wanting to do that all summer.” Chef starts as the guys look at him. “How do you like that, pretty boy, huh?”  
“Oh, Chef.” Geoff says in a singsong voice.  
“You’re next, dude.” Chef takes off screaming as the guys give chase. I walk over to the edge and lean down. I’m smirking as he spits up water.  
“Not a word.” I giggle as he smiles.


	27. Race to the Mil.

Everyone is chilling at Playa De Loser as I’m resting with my feet in the pool. Duncan is dancing nearby and poor Noah is being harassed by Harold with useless facts. He spots me looking and smirks as he finger gun, gags, and hangs himself before coming over to me and sitting by me.  
“So, did you get any emails from your dad?” Noah asked as I nodded.  
“I also got a few emails from my online friends who were all really shocked.” He raises a brow. “I didn’t exactly tell anyone I was auditioning on this show so yeah they were surprised.”  
We then hear music play through the loudspeaker. Dad arrived carrying a briefcase that seemed heavy. Chef takes away the check from Owen.  
“Hello, Campers,”  
“Haha, that’s ex-campers to you.” Duncan glares at him.  
“Yeah, your twisted game is over, remember?” Noah points out a drawing of a smiley face on the back of Heather’s head. We both snicker at it.   
“Congratulations to our winner, Owen, you played hard, fought hard, ate hard, and farted harder. Not sure why, but you beat every other person on this island and your pockets will soon be stuffed with cheddar.” We all cheer for him. “But what I’m about to offer you may change all that. Inside this suitcase is 1 million dollars.” I blinked rather surprised by the change. “We had our PA’s make a cardboard check of this awesome new prize.” The check was brought in as I blink at the size of it. “We went through a lot of cardboard to make this! Owen, my man, this million dollars could be yours all you have to do is figure out where we are about to hide it and bring it to the dock of shame before anyone else does.”  
“You’re telling us that we all have a chance to win a million dollars?” Gwen asked.  
“Yep, what do you say Owen? Will you settle for a hundred G’s or 1 million dollars!” I giggle as it takes Owen a few moments before he cheers.  
“Game on, baby!” He was very excited as Chef tore the check in half.  
“That’s the spirit, Owen. Throughout the day, I’ll give you all hints from the loudspeakers just to make sure you’re not completely lost. All right campers, the ultimate million-dollar challenge starts…” He pulls out a cork-gun. “Now!” He shoots the cork as it hits a seagull. Owen races off as the rest of us look at dad unamused.  
“Let me get this straight after messing with our heads for an entire summer you expect to start running around the island like idiots all over again?” Heather had her arms crossed as she was by his side.  
“That’s right.” I giggle at his bluntness.  
“But how do we know you didn’t stuff that suitcase with bricks or something.” Leshawna brings up with a glare.  
“You don’t.” I really can’t get over my father’s joy in the moment.  
“I’d love to play another round of humiliate the teens, but I’ve got a buffet to eat.” He takes my hand and drags me over to the buffet. The others agree that it’s not worth it.  
“Fine, suit yourselves. I’m sure Owen will be happy to have no competition while he makes the easiest million dollars in TV history.” We all hear Owen’s excitement and I watch as the others break under the pressure. I watch as the rest of the cast become a dog pile. Chef whistles, causing everyone to fall silent.  
“Hey, I’ve got an idea. Let’s work together as a team. We can split the prize 23 ways and share it.” It was a few seconds of silence after Beth’s suggestion before everyone got back to arguing. I bust out laughing before going over and helping out Noah, Duncan, Eva, and D.J. out of the pile.  
“Have fun.” I start walking away towards the dock before feeling a grip on my arm.  
“You’re not gonna hunt down the million?” Noah asked as I turned to see the four looking at me confused.  
“I’m going to wait by the dock for you guys to bring the case, and if someone else is coming towards the dock with the case, I’ll snag it from them and we’ll split the money. Good plan?” The four look at each other and then nod before racing off as I giggle going to the dock.  
It was after two hours that dad appeared on the loudspeaker.  
“Okay, this is pathetic, campers. It’s been two hours now and no one has even come close to finding the suitcase so here’s your first clue, it’s just hanging around.” I giggle at his pun. Well, guess they should search the forest. Time passes and soon I get another update. “Attention, campers, the case is wet. I repeat, the case is wet.”  
“Hey, kid.” I look to see my dad and Chef. “Hungry?” I smiled and followed him to watch the feed and eat sandwiches. I see Duncan using a fishing rod to snag the million from Lindsay before it gets eaten by an alligator.  
“What are alligators doing in Muskoka?” I giggle as my dad laughs.  
“Alligators, your idea?” I look at Chef who nods at dad and me. “Good one.”  
Duncan then dives in the water and fights the alligator as it spits up the case… only for Courtney to snag the case yelling something about how they should have dated. Only to have Izzy land on her and her to go running with the case. Eva and Noah go by Duncan who ended up twisting his ankle. Noah makes fun of him only to get his shorts stolen. I giggle at that.  
We watch as Noah, Eva, and Izzy dupe Courtney who then runs into a wall. I bust out laughing as she then yells at the camera.  
“Chris, come out here right now! I mean it!”  
“Wow, she looks really peeved. I think I’ll just turn this down a bit.” He mutes her as I smile. “That’s better, more pate?”  
“Don’t mind if I do.” We watch as Justin gets the case as Eva trips Noah.   
“Attention campers, the case is now somewhere beautiful and heading towards camp.” We then see that Courtney is climbing the wall. Dad spits out his drink onto Chef. “Chef, you better get out there.” He leaves as we see Courtney pulling on one of the hot-air balloons.  
“Uh, Chris? We got a situation here.” An intern calls in as we watch.  
“Bail, bail! Abort, abort!” He jumps out of the balloon and Courtney now has a hot-air balloon.   
We watch as the case goes from Justin to Owen, Tyler, and Cody who then get chased by a bear to the edge and then get caught up by Courtney in her balloon. Then the bear gets caught up as well.  
“The case is almost at the campgrounds. Get your butts in gear people. It’s a million big ones.” He then looks at me. “You should get back to waiting by the dock.” I giggle and then head out towards the dock only to see Heather and Harold getting chased by Leshawna on a motorbike. The three go into the water.  
“Attention campers, The case is still in play. Don’t give up now!”  
I watch as the case starts to come my way and scoop it up before hearing screams and stampering feet. I blink as I’m soon swept off my feet by the group causing the case to fly out of my hand as I land in the water with the group. A shark then eats the case as I blink at the insanity.  
“Great, now what?!” Leshawna asked, pissed. Dad is then dropped off by Chef in a chopper.  
“So, you lost the case, way to go. I didn’t want to have to do this, but since none of the 15 of you officially won, you all officially tie. Which means that you will all have another shot at winning the million dollars…” Everyone else cheers as I wait for the punchline. “In season two.”  
“Oh, forget this, I didn’t agree to season two,” Duncan said with anger.  
“Actually you did. It’s called the fine print. Read it, live it, love it.” I bust out laughing as he makes a heart.  
“I hate the fine print.” I shake my head at Gwen.  
“As for the rest of you, your treasure hunt ends here. Along with all your hopes of ever winning any money off of being on this show. The good news though, you’ll be watching all the action on season two from the sidelines.” I give a sad smile to Noah who smirks and shrugs.  
“Wait, I wanna be on season two.” Courtney complained.  
“Tut-tut-tut, fine print.”  
“Yay, another season.” I say to Duncan who glares at me. I giggle at his look as he dunks me under the water.  
“In exactly two days, you will all report to a brand new location for a whole new challenge and the last one standing will receive 1 million dollars, so don’t forget to tune in to Total Drama Action.” He uses a directors cut to emphasise the next season's theme.


	28. Monster Movie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fifteen Campers return for season two, but now this cast was going to be competing in a new way. Lights... Camera... Action.

I was sitting on a bus with the other 14 cast mates who were going to be competing in season two of Total Drama. I spent the past two days with my dad going over the movie themes that were possible candidates for challenges and just enjoying each other's company.  
I get off the bus last after everyone and get pulled into Duncan’s arms as he smirks and I blush lightly.  
“Where is everybody?” Leshawna asks as we were outside of an old abandoned movie lot.  
“Uh, maybe we got off at the wrong stop?” Gwen asked.  
“That broken-down bus only had one stop.” Justin inputs.  
“I’m not hanging around here.”  
“Welp, guess that’s one less person in the way of the million.” I say as Heather looks at me.  
“Guess I can stay for a bit.”  
“Face it, the money’s the reason we all put up with Chris.” Not true, he’s my dad so yeah. I then notice Beth no longer has braces.  
“Beth, you got your braces off. Nice!” A few of the others give her compliments and Lindsay and her squeal over going to France. We then hear honking and look to see dad with a movie travel cart like they use to tour people around in.  
“Dude, it’s about time!” Duncan says as I smile at dad who returns the smile.  
“Hop on, everyone! Come on, people! Sheesh! We haven’t got all day. This cart’s rented by the hour.” We start moving as I’m sitting with Duncan near the back. I notice Iz-Kaleidoscope isn’t on and look to see her still standing at the gate.  
“Kaleidoscope, time to go!” I shout at her as she Tarzan's her way into the seat next to Owen.  
“Welcome to the set of “Total Drama Action”. This season’s hottest reality show will be shot here, on an abandoned film lot.” We stop where a lot of the film sets were.  
“Oh! Does this mean we’re gonna be in the movies?”  
“No, it means you’re gonna be on TV. And don’t interrupt me. Ever.” He flicks Lindsay’s nose. We then continue on the tour. “You’ll be spending the next six weeks here, competing against each other in challenges and for rewards, all for the chance to win some monster cash.” Owen then interrupts dad who shushes him. “Like last season, one team will win and the other team will watch one of their own make their way down the dreaded Walk of Shame to the Lame-o-sine.” I cover my mouth with my shirt as we drive by the Lame-o-sine. Everyone else coughs.  
“Couldn’t you have spun for a better ride?” Trent asks as I smirk.  
“No. Now, since we don’t have the outhouse to dump your deepest darkest secrets in, you’ll dish the dirt in our new make-up confessional. To your left is the craft services tent, catered by Chef.” Chef comes running out chasing after a racoon as I bite back a laugh watching Lindsay fall due to trying to take a picture and dad stepping on the gas while she was standing.  
“If you survive Chef, you’ll have to make it through our dramatic awards ceremony, where all but one loser will receive a Gilded Chris Award.” We passed by the theater where there were two large golden statues of my dad. I want one for memorabilia reasons.  
“Are we done now, dude?”  
“I have an eject button and I’ll use it.” I giggle as Geoff becomes pleasant.  
Harold nerds out over the space set and I admit it’s nice.  
“No, Harold, it is not, but you may soon wish it was. A few months ago, this lot was home to a high-budget monster movie, until the star began to experience some, uh… uh… difficulties.” I bit back laughter.  
“Oh, no! Did she have like a mental breakdown?”  
“Actually, the star wasn’t a her. It was an animatronic monster!” That’s when we all notice that some of the sets had bites taken out of them.  
“What happened to it?” Gwen asked, a bit nervous. We then all hear a roar we cover our ears.  
“Come on, dudes! He’s yanking our chains.” Dad slams on the breaks as a radio tower comes falling down in front of us. D.J.’s scream rings in my ear.  
“Since we’re on a film lot, this season’s challenges will be based on movie genres. Today’s genre…” The monster roars on cue. “The monster movie! Hahaha! Duh!” We see the large reptilian animatronic walk by and D.J. faints causing me to laugh softly. Dad pokes him with a stick. “Down for the count. For your first challenge, everyone must get from here to the cast trailers, while our state-of-the-art monster prevents your every move.” He laughs as I smile. “Chef has kindly offered to control the beast. And… Action!” I get up and get moving while the others stay put. “Uh… that means go.” I let out a little laugh as the others fight their way off the cart and soon we’re all running in a large group.  
Duncan is with me as we pass by Geoff and Bridgette making-out on the beach set.  
“I don’t think this is the kind of action Chris had in mind.” I giggle as we race off with Trent and Gwen.  
Once we get into a city setting Gwen pipes up.  
“This challenge isn’t so bad.” Don’t say that. “What? No explosions? No burning buildings? No bears?”  
“Maybe it’s not in the budget.” I shake my head at the two. Ask and you shall receive. A house explodes, another catches on fire, and now we’re being chased by an angry bear.  
I grab Duncan and we go a separate way from Gwen and Trent. We even met up with Owen.  
“So, I suggest following the monster when it grabs some unlucky others and it might lead us to the trailers.” I bring up as we soon hear screaming.  
“Yeah, but first, hide!” We hide behind a fake car as D.J., Beth, Trent, and Gwen all get snatched up. I get up to follow them only for the monster to be standing there already. It roars before scooping Duncan up as he pushes me out of the way and I follow after the monster and him.  
I find the trailers but dad points to where Owen was about three blocks back.  
“Why don’t we wait for him?” I giggle and we go have dinner as in the morning dad plays a fanfare waking up the others as we were waiting in one of the trailers. We watch from the window. Owen collapses next to the bouncy house before popping it.  
“How come no-one thought of doing that last night?” Duncan brings up as I notice Kaleidoscopes absence.  
“Wait, where’s Izzy?” Not her name… at least not now. The monster then arrives crushing the trailer opposite of ours. It places Kaleidoscope down gently.  
“Thanks for the date, baby! Don’t ever leave me, ‘cause I’d find you.”  
“How did you manage to escape?” Duncan asks before he looks around.  
“Monster and I had a romantic date. He doesn’t take no for an answer. Mm-hm, pretty crazy. I can’t even tell you guys.”  
“Next question, where’s Kaylub?”  
“That’s our cue.” Dad opened the trailer and acted shocked by the second trailer's destruction. “Whoa! Am I ever glad I chose for us to wait in that trailer!” He points to the one we were just in as we both exit and I go over to the others. Duncan wraps an arm around my waist as I stand with him. “It looks like you all made it. Guess I lose the bet. That was just a warm-up. Good news is, your next challenge is a reward.” We all cheer at this. “It will be the boys against the girls, with the winner getting the first pick of the trailers, where you’ll be living for the next 42 days. You will have your choice of trailer A, or trailer… eesh.” It takes a second for him to recuperate. “Off to the craft services tent!” Owen cheers at the concept of food.  
/”Since it’s in the craft services tent, it must involve food, thus the victors will be the guys due to the black hole known as Owen.” I smile at the nickname.\  
We enter the craft services tent and notice the table full of very good looking food. I blink at such a sight as Owen’s cheering in the background.  
“Dude, this chow looks like something out of a commercial.” Geoff brings up which makes me look around and notice some things before my attention is snapped back by my dad’s voice.  
“No, wait!” I look to see Owen devouring the entire table as I look at my dad who looks at me just as surprised.  
“Owen, the man of many appetites. How was it?” Dad asked after Owen was laying on the table looking like he made a mistake.  
“The turkey was a bit…” he burps, “dry.”  
“Not surprising, since the food was fake.” I bust out laughing and hold onto Duncan as I’m bent over with laughter.  
“Fake?”  
“Yep. Just props made from foam core, silicon, sawdust and wax. It wasn’t a speed-eating contest. It was a contest to find the key.”  
“What key?” He burps up a key. “Oh, you mean this key?”  
“That would be the one.”  
“Does this mean I win?”  
“Yes. Yes, it does.” Owen cheers as I’m still dying.  
/”I know I called him a black hole, but this takes the cake.” I’m still laughing as I wipe tears from my eyes.\  
Chef makes something to help Owen with his stomach. I had calmed down but my sides hurt from laughing so hard.  
“Ah, don’t worry. I’m cool.” He laughs about it as he’s still on the table. “My mom says I’ve got a gut like a goat.” His stomach disagrees. “Nope, call 911.” Dad laughs.  
“You’re gonna need it. Since you’re the winner, you get first pick of the trailers.” We guys cheer at this and return to the trailers.  
“I choose… the squashed one.” I snort as the other guys complain. “What? It has more character.” The girls cheer only for the girls cabin to get squashed to. I silently giggle at this.  
For the rest of the day, Chef is stuck patching up the cabins.  
“Okay, everyone, get a good night’s sleep, because you’ve got a seriously early wake-up call.” Dad was driving by us in a cart as it was dark. “Call time is 6:00 a.m. hahaha! Sleep quickly!” I always do.  
We enter the cabin and are quick to get into a simple order. I sleep on a top bunk over Duncan as everyone else picks a bed as we’re soon falling asleep.  
Around 5:00 a.m., I’m up and out of the trailer sitting under the cool early morning as the suns just starting to rise.  
“Shh. They’re sleeping.” I look to see my dad peeking from behind the female trailer and then pulls out his trusty megaphone blasting it as I cover my ears. “This is your 5:00 a.m. wake-up call!” I cover my mouth to stiffen a laugh as the others jolt awake. Dad laughs vocally. “I’m only kidding! You can sleep… for now.” He then blasts the horn again and Owen farts so loud it shakes the entire foundation. I blink and are so glad I’m not in there.  
I watch dad do the outro when the monster calls out.  
“Will someone please put a wrap on that monster!” I giggle as he ruffles my hair and gives me a smile.


	29. Alien Movie

We were all in the craft service tent together getting breakfast. I was in line with Duncan as we were behind Geoff and Bridgette who were making out.  
“Keep the line moving lovebirds.” The two move out of the line as D.J. tries to get more food only for Chef to glare him off. “Forgot how hungry I got last year, eating on Chris’s wreaked schedule.” Duncan and I both get our servings.  
“I know. Got to the point where I’d kill for Chef’s disgusting food.” Bad word choice Gwen. “No offense, Chef.”  
“None taken.” He drops her serving to the floor as I bite a giggle.  
“You can have my burnt toast, bigmouth.”  
“Judging from that gut, I thought you’d be all over the extra carbs.”  
“Hahahaha! Nice.” I giggle.  
“You can have my toast Gwen.” Trent joins us.  
“Thanks, but I can’t take enemy toast.”  
“Enemies? We’re not enemies.” Trent sounded offended.  
“In this game, we’re all enemies.” Duncan points out as I nibble on my toast.  
“Except for me and Gwen. I’ll always have her back, no matter what.”  
“Right back at you, babe.”  
“I’ll remind you two of that when the money’s divvied up.” We four go take a seat as I take Duncan’s toast as I had finished mine.   
“Ugh. No eggs and bacon for me, Chef. I’ll just have this… nice bowl of prunes.” Owen then takes a bowl of prunes instead of the eggs and bacon which causes the others to gasp. “What?”  
“Welcome to day two of “Total Drama Action”!” Dad clicks the director’s cut as he’s dressed up like a director of a movie.  
“Are you going to do that every time?” Duncan asks as I giggle.  
“Yes. Yes I will.” He smiles.  
“All right, then.”  
“Today’s movie genre, aliens!” I see Duncan and Gwen get excited. “Our unpaid interns have been hard at work, figuring out what makes an alien movie successful. Chef.”  
“You got three basic rules. Aliens want to take over the world and start making lots of baby aliens. People fight back, then the military’s called in.” Owen gets hit with a slime ball. “Yo, Chris! Where’s my paycheck at?”  
“It’s… in the mail.” I shake my head at him. ”Today’s challenge, find an alien egg and return to home base before mama alien finds you. The two fastest get to pick the teams this season.”  
“Sorry losers, but no-one knows alien movies the way I do. The more obscure, the better.” Duncan says as I look to Gwen.  
“I’m gonna blend up those no-good aliens and have ‘em for breakfast.” She says with a deep voice.  
““Alien Chunks” is my favorite alien movie of all time.”  
“Me too. I’ve seen it 27 times.”  
“53.”  
“You’ll be tough to beat. But I have my lucky charm.”  
“I like that movie where the aliens take over the government. “Take me to your leader”!” I felt so bad for Trent.  
“Oh, dude, you are so going down!” I nod with Duncan.  
“It was a good movie, right? Gwen?”  
“Uh… ok, this is kinda awkward.”  
“Chris, who’s playing mama?” I decide to save Gwen from the awkwardness. Chef appears in an alien suit.  
“You call that slime? Make-up! More slime over here!” I cover my mouth to suppress a laugh as to not obtain Chef’s wrath. “Here are your GPS devices, complete with maps of the film lot.” Duncan, Trent, and D.J. get the GPS devices. “Find the alien eggs but be careful, ‘cause today you’re all on Chef’s menu.” Chef laughs.  
We all end up traveling together seeing as there’s only one way to go at the moment and soon we hear weird slurping sounds. Gwen hushs the group as Owen farts, happy to finally get one out.  
“What is that?” Trent asks as I notice a certain pair missing from our group. Everyone looks to Beth.  
“Ever since I got my braces off, I don’t make that sound anymore.”  
“Chris! That you?” I shake my head.  
“It must be Chef.” Duncan looks at me. “You want to run? Or do you want to kick some alien butt?” I nod.  
“If it was Chef that is, but we’re missing a certain set of make-outers and,” I turn the corner to see the pair. “Here they are.”  
“Ugh. Nice. Do you two ever get sick of sucking face?” Duncan asks as the two continue.  
“I’m thinking that’s a no.” Owen brings up.  
“Enough messing around. We’ve got alien eggs to capture.” It was then that Chef appeared on the radar. “Good thing we’re all lined up in a row, huh?” I scoff at the irony.  
“Yeah, ready for Chef to pick us off one at a time.” Trent brings up as I nod.  
“We’ve really got to work on our strategizing.” Gwen brings up. The maps start beeping danger as I giggle at the others scared faces.  
“Let’s get out of here!”  
“Which way do we go?” Justin asks about Heather's statement.  
“North is nice, but east is least. West is best!” I blink at Lindsay.  
“Can’t argue with that. Wouldn’t even know how to.” Lindsay, Beth, Justin, and Leshawna all head down.  
“Experts?” I ask.  
“Alien eggs are always in the boiler room.”  
“Map says the boiler room’s east of here.”  
“Let’s go!” I race off with Gwen, Trent, D.J. as Duncan soon catches up.  
“Where’d you go?”  
“Just telling a certain pair of lovebirds that they’re on their own.” I nod.  
We find the boiler room and there in the center are the eggs.  
“Wow! They look so real.” I nod at Trent.  
“Whoo-hoo! We won! Yeah!”  
“Not so fast, big guy. We still have to get the eggs back to home base.”  
“Duncan, grab my ankles.” He nods and leans me down as Trent does the same with Gwen. We each grab eggs for the five of us and once we have them the door opens and D.J. is shot. He drops his egg as Chef comes chasing after us.  
“Save yourselves!”  
“D.J.!” I cry out reaching for him as Duncan drags me away. We exit the set with Chef hot on our heels.  
“Attention, civilians. The military is here to protect you now. Unfortunately, we can’t let you leave with any alien eggs.” My dad was in a copter as Chef was behind us.  
“But we’re supposed to take the alien eggs. That’s what you said.” Trent argued.  
“Right, I did.” He laughs as he drops two slimb bombs.  
“Incoming!” We all dive out of the way as Duncan covers my smaller body and the egg with his body.  
After the explosion, we get up as I’m clean and have my egg, but Duncan isn’t.  
“Does this mean I’m out.”  
“Too bad. So sad. More money for me.” I giggle. “Oh no, our alien eggs!” We all look around as, instead of seeing an egg, I see a necklace.  
“Gwen take this.” I hand her my egg and go for the necklace.  
“I’m on it.” Duncan points to the egg.  
“No, I’m on it.” Trent rushes by him.  
“My necklace, it’s gone!”  
“Got it right here.” I hold up the silver blender as Trent returns with the egg.  
“Here, I think you should have it.” She places it around my neck as I smile.  
“You four gave it a valiant effort. But you’re still losers. Hahaha!”  
“Not yet, meet you at home base, Gwen.” The two go running off as I walk with Duncan and Dad.  
“Can’t believe you handed them the win.”  
“Wasn’t my plan for her to keep my egg. Plus I got a lucky charm.” I hold the blender as he rolls his eyes.  
“We have our two winners!” We arrived back at the trailers where everyone else was. “Our only two winners! The rest of you really stink. As our winners, Gwen and Trent will now be able to pick their teams, which means they’ll be competing against each other this season.” I bust out laughing as Trent complains. “Bet you didn’t see that one coming! After we vote off two cast members, in the most thrilling Gilded Chris ceremony yet.” We all gasp. “Yes, you heard me. I said two. I’m liking the twos today. Must be Tuesday.” I snort at the pun as he smiles. “Thank you.” He then leaves as the others get cleaned off. I relax in the trailer on my bunk.  
Dad arrives at the ceremony wearing a crisp blue suit with a red bowtie. We were all seated at the bleachers.  
“It’s time to cast your votes. Under your seats, you’ll find your voting devices. Just press the button of the person you want voted off. Oh, and no peeking or it’s “Na-na! Na-na-na-na! Hey, hey, hey! Goodbye!” I join in the song with him just for the fun of it and we share a laugh.  
“The votes have been cast.” Chef returns with the pink showgirl dress as he’s holding the Gilded Chrises. The others laugh at him as I hold it in. “If you get a Gilded Chris, it means you’re safe for now, and the Gilded Chrises go to… Trent, Gwen, Kaylub, Duncan, Harold, and Izzy.”  
“E-scope!”  
“Fine. E-Scope.” Lindsay, Justin, Beth, Owen, D.J., and Heather all get one leaving Leshawna, Geoff, and Bridgette left. He builds up the suspense I’ve been missing.  
“Leshawna!” She celebrates and hugs the two.  
“But-but I thought everyone liked us.”  
““Liked” being the operative word.” I roll my eyes at Duncan.  
/”Easy choice, get to vote off two might as well allow the lovebirds to stay together.” I shrug.\  
“Any last words?” The two make out as everyone voices different opinions. They then walk off never breaking the kiss. “Who will Gwen and Trent pick for their team? Will Izzy ever answer to her actual name? Will Owen finally get some lunch?”  
“Thank you!” I giggle at Owen.  
“Tune in next time, for another exciting episode of… “Total Drama Action”!” We all head to bed with that in our minds.


	30. Selfmade Movie

It was early when I woke up in a cold sweat. I blink away the visions and exit the trailer to see my dad there with his signature megaphone. We lock eyes and he gives me a soft smile. I smile back as he hits his button.  
“All crew on set! Call time is 4 a.m.” He kisses the megaphone as I giggle. “I love this thing.” The rest of the crew comes out exhausted except for Izzy. We get ready for the day before meeting back up at the trailers girls on one side and guys on the other. Duncan wrapped an arm around me as I leaned on him.  
“You’re on a film set now and you’re gonna learn that show biz is not all red carpets and pool parties. Today you’re gonna get schooled on how tough on-set production life can be.” dad said as I rolled my eyes with a slight smile.  
“Whatever. I can deal,” Gwen piped in as Heather moved away from her. “I once had a summer job at a petting zoo. It’s so adorable, everyone feeding the adorable goats their adorable cabbages. But somebody, i.e. me, had to shovel up the less adorable end of the digestive process.”  
“Well, speaking of number two, it’s time to pick your teammates and then try to stick it to the team your boyfriend chooses.” I giggle at this as the two then stand on opposite ends of the lines. Trent’s by Lindsay and Gwen is standing by D.J.  
“Okay, let’s get this bloodbath started. You’re gonna choose schoolyard style, boy, girl, boy, girl. Ladies first. Since we have no ladies here, Gwen.” I giggle at this.  
“I don’t know. Duncan.” He kisses my cheek before going over to Gwen.  
“I choose Kaylub.” I blink as does the others.  
“I’m not a girl.” He realizes that.  
“Oh, uh…”  
“I’ll allow it, but you have to pick a girl as well to keep the system.” Trent nods and picks Lindsay as we go over to his side. I notice Duncan glaring at Trent.  
“Because I like to keep things cool, I pick Leshawna.” Leshawna celebrates as she goes to Gwen and gives a high-five.  
“I choose Justin.”  
“Oh, pick all the good-looking contestants. That’ll get you far.” I snicker as both Leshawan and Duncan seem offended.  
“It will in show biz.” I nod agreeing with him.  
“D.J.”  
“Beth”  
“We choose Heather.” I blink at that. Owen joins our team as Gwen picks Harold just to shut him up. And that left Kaleidoscope on our team.  
“Gwen, I christen your team The Screaming Gaffers.” He runs over to us. “Trent, you’re The Killer Grips.”  
“Grip? I-I don’t wanna be a grip.” Beth whined as I raised a brow.  
“Please! It’s not like being called a gaffer is something to brag about. It sounds like something that has rabies.” Heather pipes up. We all hear a crash and it’s from the actual crew.  
“I’m sick and tired of getting no respect around here.” The other one shoves the t.v. off of the stand before leaving with his buddy. I blink and look at my dad.  
“Okay, since we’re running late now and don’t seem to have any more, um… whatever those two crew dudes did… we’d better get going.” He walks over to where there was identical set stuff. “Your challenge, for each team to set up a film set.”  
“We’ll be scarfing flapjacks by 7.” Don’t say that Leshawna.  
“Oh, will you?” Now you’ve done it. “As location manager, I would like your sets to go… there!” He points up a set mountain.  
“You just love doing this to us.” I giggle. Yes, yes, he does.  
“Yes, yes, I do. Chef! Clear for traffic up there?” Without a response he pulls out his megaphone. “Lights…” we all start running for set pieces. “Camera… action!”  
We all start going up the hill when I notice Gwen being supported by Duncan and Trent stopping. He falls and I help him up.  
“And we’re on the same team.” I blink and keep moving.   
“It’s neck and neck, people. And now for the heavy stuff,” dad said as all that was left was the trailers.  
“How the heck are we going to get those trailers all the way up the hill?” Trent asked as he returned.  
“I have a great idea.” I look at Lindsay. “Let’s get Tyler to do it.” I start laughing.  
“He’s not here any more!” The rest of the team shouts at her.  
“Oh, right. Bummer.” I hear Owen’s stomach rumble and I get an idea.  
“Owen, food at the top, but you gotta get the trailer up there before you can eat.”  
“Eat? I love eat!” Owen takes off his belt and wraps it through the hook up and places it on his head. Giving a war cry, he starts up the hill. Escope’s on top as the rest of us are running.  
“Hey, new best friends! How do you like that? Are you going to cry together, you punk wannabes? ‘Cause your team is going down.” I blink at his words.  
/”What’s up with Trent? Is he jealous?” I shrug.\  
We soon won as it seemed D.J. refused to pull the trailer.  
“We actually won,” The others cheered as I waited for the catch.  
“Not exactly.” There it is.  
“Pardon?”  
“That was only the first part of the challenge. Did I neglect to mention that?” He puts Beth’s arms down as the others deflate. I smile.  
“It’s time to make a movie.” The Screaming Gaffers arrive and we’re on two different sets. “And what we’ve got here is the set for a tearjerker starring an elderly lady considering her long life.”  
“Boring.” Trent says as dad was talking about our set.  
“You’ll be making a feature about a thug who tries to go straight but can’t resist the lure of the street.” He says to the Gaffers.  
“What about lunch? We have been working for eight hours and you are legally obligated by union rules to give us a meal break.” Heather says as I look to dad.  
“Oh, yeah? Who here is in the union?” Dad raises his hand. “Yeah, I thought so.” I smirk and pop in a lollipop. “And now it’s time to choose an actor to perform a scene. Chef, give the teams their scenes.”  
“Alright. We need an old lady.” Trent says as he turns to us.  
“Oh, please, let me do it! It’s gotta be me.” Kaleidoscope pops out in front of us. “I’ve got an old soul. I’m like 87 years old on the inside ‘cause I’ve been reincarnated a whole bunch of times. Actually, I’m the reincarnation of my very own Granny Mavis. Aye there, laddies.You spilt a wee bit of haggis on your kilt!” She suddenly turned Scottish. “I can tell you. Our luck’s a raising up to the clouds.” She does a bow.  
“Ok, fine.” Everyone else said as I giggled.  
“Alright. Set up the shop! Whoever can get Chef, Mr. ex-Army Corporal, to show any emotion wins the challenge.” We soon start working as I help Beth with lighting. Lindsay’s on make-up, Justin has sound, and Owen’s on the sound board.  
“Your make-up, gorgeous. And now I’m gonna make you really feel like an old lady.” Lindsay makes E-scope kneel down as she applies the make-up.  
“I feel like 80 years have passed as they started to adjust the lighting.”  
“Don’t move.” Beth says as I’m eyeballing the light.  
“Oh, don’t worry. I can’t. My legs are totally asleep.”  
“Can I get that last line again?” Owen asks as I look at the others.  
“My legs are asleep!” She shouts into the receiver. Owen screams as I laugh.  
“Ok? You look hot. Sexy. Stud-like.” I look over to where Gwen was talking about Duncan. I catch his eyes.  
“That’s better.” He winks as I roll my eyes and return to my work aiding Beth with the lights.  
“There are seven colours on this tape roll thingy but I don’t know which one to use. And what kind of shape would a mark be? Like an ‘M’ for ‘mark’, or…”  
“One that contrasts the red carpet will do for color and just make a small line.” I shout down to Lindsay.  
“Er… guys. My legs are starting to tingle. I don’t think I can hold much,” she collapses, “longer.” Lindsay places the marker down.  
“We had the lighting just right!” Beth shouted as I sigh.   
“Get back to first positions.”  
“It’s been decades. Can we just get the ball rolling on my eventual best actress nomination?” I giggle as Beth and I return to fixing the lights.  
“And now, time for the final hair and make-up.” I noticed D.J. instantly getting to work on applying Duncan’s makeup and nod.   
“Wow! You don’t look like you!” Lindsay says as we finally get makeup and clothing done.  
“Aye, lassie.” She’s back to being scottish. “That’s on account of me being a master thespian.”  
“Just make sure you lose the Scottish burr. Okay, Granny McE-scope?” I giggle as we get off the set.  
“And that’s… action!”  
“Now you listen, and you listen good. If your fighter doesn’t go down in the first round you’ll be sleeping with the fishes and uh,” she forgot the lines didn’t she? “That’s tough to do because, you know, they have no eyelids and it’s hard to sleep. Hey, I can flip my eyelids. Anyone what to see me flip them?” I look over to Chef to see him confused. Confusion is an emotion.  
“Okay, Granny Izzy’s nuts, but at least she’s committed. Duncan’s gonna have a hard time beating that.”  
“I’ve lived a good, long life. I’ve loved, I’ve laughed, but what I miss most of all is my sweet little goat.” His teary eyes lock with mine. “Chopin.” I blush as a tear falls from his eye. “Oh, baaaa! Baaaa.” Chef starts crying as even dad has a hard time keeping a straight face.  
“...C-cut! Okay, enough. It’s too much for Chef to take. Duncan clearly wins for best performance. The screaming Gaffers win it.”  
“Hey, hey, oh, oh, I was robbed. Yeah, I’ll see you in the morgue. Capisce?” I roll my eyes at her eccentric self.  
I walk over to Duncan who smirks my way.   
“Didn’t know you were an actor.” He tilts my chin up as he locks eyes with me.  
“Gotta know how to act to keep out of trouble. Have fun voting Grip.”  
“Don’t party too hard, Gaffer.” He ruffles my hair as I swat at his hand.  
We’re at elimination as Chef plays the drums introducing dad.  
“Now it’s your turn to cast your votes and determine who will stroll down the walk of shame.” We all see the lame-o-sine. “Under your seats you’ll find voting devices. Just press the button of the person you want voted off. It’s easy. So… cast your votes! Who will it be? Who will be cast off the set?” A drumroll accompanies our vote. “And it looks like all the votes have been cast. Chef…” He hands dad the paper. “Remember, if you get a gilded Chris, you get to stay because rather suitably the gilded Chris represents the luster of fame and immortal greatness.” Not wrong. “And gilded Chrises go to… Trent, Kaylub, Owen, and Beth.” Owen eats the gilded Chris revealing it’s chocolatey nature. “And now, only three nominees left. And the loser is,” he builds up the suspense. ”Izzy!” Not her name. “Time to go!”  
“I’m not going anywhere. That’s not my name.” I bite my lip fighting back laughter as dad and I make eye contact.  
“It’s Kaleidoscope.” He glares at her.  
“Can I get a pen over here?” He scribbles in her new name. “It says E-scope now. Ok?” She stands. “And remember, you can never come back. Ever!” He presses a button and two people come and take her to the Lame-o-sine.  
I giggle, noticing a look in my dad’s eyes as the rest of us head back to the trailers.


	31. Beach Movie

We were all sitting at breakfast as Beth and Lindsay brought food to Justin.  
“Justin, look. I brought you bacon.”  
“I brought you ‘faken’. Tofu’s good for your heart.”  
“Pig’s good for his hair.”  
“Holy crap! I love his hair!” Beth bounces up and hugs his hair.  
“Ladies, please. I accept both your offerings.” He places Beth next to him. “Join me for breakfast?” They both giggle and neither of them eat. “Aren’t you eating?”  
“When you can gorge your soul on essence de beau hunk, who needs food?” He winks at Beth who then faints. His eyes lock with mine as I blush and look away. I wasn’t looking at him, I was looking at the scene. I try to assert myself.  
Trent tries to salt his eggs only for the cap to fall off as Duncan bursts out laughing.   
“Ah, sorry about the morning as’salt’.” I giggle at his misfortune, and the pun, as Gwen smacks Duncan.  
“Third grade called. You’re due back in class.” I laughed at this.  
“Real mature. Don’t you know it’s bad luck to spill salt?” He throws a portion over his shoulder getting into Heather’s face. “Nothing a little pepper won’t fix.” That spills too and he throws it over and hits Heather again causing her to have a sneezing fit. I bust out laughing. Karma. Duncan comes over laughing as well.  
“Are you still gonna finish those eggs, bro?” He takes a piece.  
“Are you nuts? Now I only have eight pieces left.” I blink at this as Duncan and I share a look.  
“Am I nuts? Dude, you are officially capital W weird.”  
“Which is good, because I happen to really like weird.” Gwen eats a piece as well.  
“There. Now you’ve got seven pieces, which is an odd number again. Isn’t that kind of better?”  
“Abso-Gwenly.” Duncan shakes his head as we then hear a whistle.  
“Hang onto your coconuts, players. We’re going back to the beach.” Owen cheers. “Ever seen one of those 1950s surfer movies where the kids get up to neato fun before the big bonfire twist-a-thon and the bully kicks the sand castle in the nerdy guy’s face?” I nod recalling movie nights.  
“Uh, no, Grandpa, we haven’t.” I giggle at this.  
“Well, get ready to re-create one, Junior. Two challenges followed by a tiebreaker if necessary. So grab you swimsuits.”  
We enter a freezing cold studio as I’m wearing a black top with swim trunks. Duncan is holding me close to keep me warm.  
“When did you guys move the beach to Antarctica?” I roll my eyes at Lindsay.  
“As some of you can see, we’re actually in the shooting studio.”  
“And the AC’s cranked because?” Duncan asked as he clinged to me.  
“All the cameras and lights get so hot, they could melt Chef’s heart.” Chef gives off a creepy smile. “And the network told my agent sweaty wasn’t a good look for me. Your first challenge, hang ten this deck into the big blue without swallowing tail in the soup.”  
“What did you just ask me to do?”  
“Remain on the surfboard without falling into the water. Whoever remains the longest wins.” I say without missing a beat as Leshawna and the rest look at me.  
“Exact-a-mundo, groovy cats. So, who’s going first?” It’s silent for a while. “The team that wins will get a half-hour head start on the next challenge, and, given tonight’s reward, you should be fighting harder than Justin’s abs over who gets first shot.” Harold is rocketed forward by an icicle in the tush. ”We have a volunteer.” He goes up on the board.  
“Mad surfing skills, activate.”  
“And please welcome the return of some season one fan favorites, the sharks.” They hop out of the water as Harold hops onto one of the light fixtures.  
“My booty and I are out.”  
“Your booty has an opinion?” I giggle at Leshawna.  
“That’s such a big job for such a saggy, sad little thing.”  
“I’ll have you know this is a selfless act. My lady fans couldn’t handle the loss of this perfect behind.”  
“And by lady fans, he means his mother.” While my dislike for Heather is strong. I giggle at her quips.  
“Hey, sharks, look. Bacon and faken.” He points to Owen.  
“Breakfast should last all day, no?” The two sharks go over to the edge of the tank begging for the food allowing Harold to come down. He falls and lands harshly on the platform that allows access to the board.  
“Ooh! Way to stick the dismount, bro.” The four of us, Heather, Gwen, Duncan, and I, share a laugh at his pain. I notice Trent counting to nine as he taps his head with a friendship bracelet that Beth gave him. I blink concerned.  
Lindsay’s up and she does well, until dad changes the setting to twister mode and has the fans turned on which causes her to get blown into the backdrop. D.J. goes next and is doing well until one of the sharks jumps up and rips his bathing suit off. My head was shoved into Duncan’s chest as he was still holding onto me for warmth.  
“Your body’s a beautiful thing! You don’t need a suit!” I hear Chef shout.  
Owen goes up and breaks the board before falling into the water causing the entire pool to lose it’s water and it starts to rain on us. Both sharks land outside of the pool.  
“Oh, man. Oh, crud.” Owen exited the door at the base of the pool. “Sorry, shark dudes. Really, I’m so sorry.” Dad blows a whistle.  
“Break time! Union rules.”  
“Finally,” not us Heather.  
“I don’t mean you, shark bait.” I giggle at the name as the sharks take a break with a drink and shrimp.  
“No sharks equals no problem.” Gwen starts to hang ten only to look past us. I turn and see dad with a mount gun and the ammunition is seagulls. I tilt my head at the animal cruelty.  
“I love this game.” He starts to shoot as Gwen gets hit by one.  
“Sky rat! Get it out! Get it out!” She falls into the water. I giggle softly.  
Justin is up as the Sharks are off break.  
“Yay! Go Justin!”  
“Yeah! Go!”  
“Copycat.”  
“Tan-orexic,” Beth gasps at her own words to Lindsay before offering her a friendship bracelet.  
Justin shows off his good looks as I feel the grip on me tighten snapping me out of my appreciative gaze. My dad shoots gulls at him before knocking him in. One of the sharks saves him and does CPR. The shark hugs Justin and pushes the two girls over.  
“Love’s a beautiful thing.” I roll my eyes at my dad as the grip around me squeezes before releasing me.   
“Finally we have Duncan. Try not to get your piercings wet.” He rolls his eyes as my dad does the shots and Duncan is still on. I giggle as dad throws a chair, a light, and even Lindsay who hits the backdrop for a second time.  
“And with that, Duncan secures victory for the Screaming Gaffers.”  
“Gnarly.” I roll my eyes as his team cheers. Gwen and Duncan do a handshake and then hug.  
“Man, Gwen’s team is unstoppable.” Owen says as I roll my eyes.  
“Try unstable, a ticking time bomb of betrayal. We have to stop them.”  
“With what, a freight train? Toot toot!”  
“Five, six, seven, eight, nine.” Trent says as he hits his head with the friendship bracelet, creeping Owen and me out.   
“Ex-squeeze me?” Trent counts again. “Your secret weapon’s being weird?”  
“If being weird brings us good luck, then, yeah, I’m weird. Besides, Gwen likes weird.” I blink with worry for our team leader as I touch the blender necklace.  
“If you at home like weird, you’ll love what’s coming up next.” Dad says signifying a commercial break.  
“I’m telling you, sometimes being weird is cool.”  
“Delusional. So sad.” I snort trying to hold back a full on laugh. “Meet me at the entrance of the studio lot. And don’t change.”  
Everyone immediately changes as I don’t, trusting my dad completely. I pull Trent to the side after they get dressed.  
“What’s up with nine?” He tilts his head as I bonk him on the head. “You know what I’m talking about.”  
“I’ll tell you later.” I glare at him holding him to that.  
“Welcome back to “Total Drama Action”,” we were all at the front of the studio. “Where against all advice to the contrary, minus Kaylub, the players have changed out of their bathing suits. Hope you like swimming in your jeans.”  
“Right, because we’re totally going to the beach for real this time. The bus is just late.” And on cue the bus arrives. I smirk.  
“You were saying?” As we were getting on the bus Beth was handing out friendship bracelets only to freak out when Justin asked about the bracelets causing her to run onto the bus.  
We end up back at camp wawanakwa and are standing on the beach where two sandboxes were marked off.  
“Yes, campers, we’re actually back at your old stomping grounds, Total Drama Island! If you need to take a moment and reminisce about the great times you had here…” I closed my eyes only to be assaulted by laughter as I opened them to see everyone else laughing.  
/”You know I actually enjoyed my time on TDI.” Reminiscing on the past has me blushing brighty. “Nevermind.”\  
“Fine. we’ll skip the good memories montage. Screaming Gaffers, you’ve got a 30-minute head start on… the sand-castle-building contest, to be judged by our resident king o’ the dunes.” Chef puts on a sand castle hat. “Make like prop masters, guys, and give me something awesome. I really don’t want the tie breaker to have to go down. I don’t think legal’s quite approved it yet.” It was a dummy hanging upside down in a triangular structure only for it all to collapse and a car from nowhere comes in and crashes on top of it. I internally giggle at this. And now we wait.  
I watch as Duncan and Gwen go off somewhere while Harold takes control of the build and it looks amazing by the time the 30 minutes is up.  
“Screaming gaffers, your 30-minute lead is over. So, Trent, dude, get castling.”  
“Water! We need water.” Owen runs by carrying the buckets as I help Justin with getting some kind of form in the sand.  
“I’ll hit the mountain stream.” I look at Lindsay as Beth states the obvious.  
“Or we could use the lake.” Owen somehow managed to get a bucket on his head.  
“Quiet!” I look at Trent. “We need a plan, and I’ve got one.” I back away slowly as soon he’s sprouting out about building nines out of everything involving our castle. Lindsay makes a flag and then Trent says we need eight more and I’m visibly worried for him.  
“Stop, it’s not going to support all nine!” It collapses as he tries to place the last one.  
“What if I tie these bracelets around the towers to keep them up?” I like Beth’s train of thought so I roll with it.  
“He never said it couldn’t be papier-mache as it is a prop sand castle contest. Lindsay got any magazines?” Beth and Lindsay follow where I’m going, pull out magazines. “Everyone tear these up and with a little hair spray.” We get papier-mache.  
“Crafty.” I blush at the complement, from Justin, as we get to work.  
“Remember nine of everything.” I move a bit away from Trent. Soon we finish rebuilding the castle now out of papier-mache. “I dub thee Casa Gwen. Nine mounts, nine flags, nine wicked jam rooms.” He then waves to Gwen nine times as I look worried at Duncan who gives me a sympathetic look before seeming to make a pun that gets him hit by Gwen.  
The Screaming Gaffers castle is assaulted by birds causing its collapse.  
“We have a winner. Kaylub and the killer grips’ clever prop, Casa dos Papier-Mache.” We cheer.  
“And friendship bracelets.” Beth was next to my dad who was initially shocked before smirking and pushing her away causing me to snort.  
“Which means we need a new tie breaker. And I was hoping for the evening off.” Tough luck dad. “Instead, gather ye some wood, campers, for a fire of the bon variety.”  
I head off into the forest and see Duncan who smiles at me.  
“Hey, it’s been a while.” I roll my eyes at him as he drops the sticks he was carrying only to wrap me in his embrace. We share a kiss before hearing someone clear their throat.  
“This is still a challenge you know.” Duncan gets possessive clinging to me tighter as he glares at Justin who’s looking unamused.  
“Buzz off, can’t you see we’re busy?”  
“He’s my teammate now, so no.” Duncan growls as I ease my way out of his arms and place a kiss to the corner of his lips.  
“He’s right. I’ll catch you later.” I walk off without any firewood as Justin gets close to me.   
“You’re not throwing this challenge so Duncan can win, are you?”  
“There is a brain in there and no, just cause he’s my boyfriend doesn’t mean I’m going to throw a challenge for him.” I see him process my first statement and can’t help the inner chuckle. “Don’t work yourself too hard. Just know I’ve got my head in the game.”  
After that, I split off heading back to the clearing and smile at my dad who waves to me. I go over to him and we share a hug as he pets my hair and I snuggle into his warmth. I miss our hugs.  
“When this is all over, we are spending some serious quality time together and I’m not letting you go.” Dad says as I smile and nod.  
Everyone gathers as night falls. We were surrounded by tiki torches as the others dropped the wood they gathered and I smiled at my dad who winked back, us knowing the truth. He claps his hands and the touches light themselves.  
“Why’d you bother sending us out to get firewood?” Heather asked as his eyes locked with mine for a second.  
“I needed some alone time. You think these hands manicure themselves? Which brings us to the tie-breaking challenge, a Watusi twist mashed-potato dorky old-school dance contest. Teams, choose your best boogier for battle.”  
Leshawna decides to go for the Gaffers.  
“I vote for Trent.” Lindsay brings up as I shrug glad it’s not me.  
“We heard you got some fly moves.” Justin offers.  
“Okay, I’ll do it, if you all say my name nine times.” We do as told as I’m still holding strong to the fact that he’ll tell me why.   
Dad starts the music as the two dancers get ready.  
“Prepare for a world of pain, son.”  
“Bring it.”  
The two start to dance and instantly it’s clear that we won as Leshawna’s dancing was her own style, but not exactly in the mood with the music. Then Trent falls over a little stick.  
“Dude, get up.”  
“Ah! I think I have turned my ankle.” I blink at the pathetic attempt to act.  
“Do something!” He attempts to dance on the ground and I watch dad go over to him.  
“That’s not dancing!”  
“It’s modern. It’s interpreted.”  
“I interpret it as sucking.”  
“Shut up, Duncan. I ignored Trent and now he’s lost his will to go on.”  
“Melodramatic much? You didn’t do anything that wasn’t already done.” She smiles at me as I give a slight smile back.  
“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Leshawna and The Screaming Gaffers are the winners! And your reward? The greatest beach party ever pitched.” They cheer as I watch Trent fake a limp as he goes off with Gwen.  
While the Gaffers were having a party, I was waiting with the team.  
“If the losing team could just follow me to the bus…” Chef comes over covered in oil. I raise a brow as Dad looks upset. “...which is broken! Which means the losers have to stay and watch their rivals gorge on victory.” We end up actually going back down the beach where a bunch of junk was including some tires. I end up passing out lollipops to ease the hunger. I end up sitting with Beth.  
“Oh, here. A black friendship bracelet to match your clothes and aesthetic.” I smile and take it. Justin then takes a seat next to Beth and looks at the both of us.  
“Thanks for winning us the sandcastle contest, especially since I blew the surfing challenge. You really saved my bacon. Or should I say ‘faken’...” Beth fawns over him as I get up and go over to Trent.  
“Fess up, what’s with the nines?” He opens his mouth and I place a finger up to stop him. “I know you faked your injury so start talking.”  
“Fine, when I was kid my grandfather gave me a toy train. Shortly before he died a wheel fell off. I was devastated, but my mom convinced me to use the number nine as my lucky number.” I nod.  
“Just tone it down. It’s creeping all of us out and could be your problem with Gwen.”  
“What about you and Duncan?”  
“What about us?”  
“Aren’t you worried about him being close to Gwen?” I start laughing softly so the others don’t hear, but apparently Trent was serious.  
“The two are just friends. You should trust your girlfriend more.” I gain a nod, but I have a feeling he doesn’t believe me.


	32. Western Movie

I don’t know how dad did it, but the heat is unbearable… for everyone else. I watch as everyone suffers and smile as I lay on the bench where Ducan was sitting.  
“How are you not dying?” Duncan asked as I smirked at him. I was wearing a black translucent starry shirt. Under it I was also wearing a noodle strap tank top as well as my usual black jeans and instead of my leather heeled boots I wore black converse.  
“What, can’t take the heat?” He glares at me but there isn’t much heat due to his energy being drained.  
Then a gunshot rang out as I jumped onto my feet looking around with wide fearful eyes only to link onto fake guns in my dad’s hands. His eyes lock with mine as he gives a soft reassuring smile before putting on his host mask. I feel arms around me and look down to my concerned boyfriend as he pulls me close. I calm my breathing with his heartbeat.  
“Take it easy. Guns are loaded with blanks. Least, I’m pretty sure one of them is.” He laughs putting them away. I noticed his black cowboy styled outfit and smiled seeing where I got my love of black from. “Since there’s no beatin’ the heat, we’re goin’ west this week.” Dad had a southern accent. “There’s a town meetin’ at high noon. Be there or I’ll drive you deadbeats out of town.”  
“If you’re driving us out of town, can we go to the mall?” I shake my head at Lindsay.  
We meet at the water tower on the western movie set and soon Leshawna shows up with a massive afro due to the humidity. Heather laughs as Leshawna comes and leans over Beth pushing her into Lindsay who leans on Heather.  
“I’m sorry. Do you see something wrong with my hair?”  
“Not from where I’m standing.” Duncan said as we were both behind her enjoying the new shade.  
“Listen up, partners. In any good western, there are heroes, outlaws, horses, and pretty dames. The hero defeats the outlaw, then rides off into the sunset on the horse.”  
“What about the pretty dames?” Beth asked, scaring my dad.  
“None of your beeswax!” He laughs as he pets her head. “Just messing with ya. They usually hang out in the saloon during the bar brawl.”  
“Bar brawl. Cool.” Harold then does some weird fighting dance only to get tripped by Duncan and land in the water trough. We both share a laugh.  
“Awesome re-enactment, Harold. Most brawls do end up with the loser in the water trough.” Harold shakes out his hair which causes water droplets to sizzle off of Justin.  
“Oh, yeah, feels good.” I couldn’t help but admire like the girls… and Owen. The grip on my waist tightens.  
“Enough with the man candy. All eyes on me.” Dad fires the guns snapping my attention to him. “Time for your first challenge. No cowboy worth spitting at would go one day without saddle practice. TIme to saddle up.” We look to see a brown, worn down, old horse that was surrounded by flies and currently farting more than Owen. “That’s the best steed we could afford?” My dad looked at Chef who was crunching numbers on an old accounting calculator.  
“You want a five-star hotel and champagne and caviar for breakfast? I gotta cut somewhere.”  
“It’s perfect. Don’t change a thing.” The horse is moved to a target area and continues to eat.  
“You call this a challenge?” Duncan goes to mount the horse. Wait for it.  
“Not so fast. You cowboys and cowbabes are going to mount the steed from up there. Not there. Way up there.” It was like one water tower on top of another water tower high of a jump about 100 ft. “Since the gaffers won last week, they go first.” Everyone freaks out.  
“You seem to forget that they test these stunts. While it looks extremely dangerous, it’s still possible to not die.” I say getting a nod from my dad.  
“We won last week. Why do we have to go first?”  
“Because I said so, and I’m your host, Chris McLean.” His smile sparkles as Gwen sneezes.  
“Guys, I really think I’m coming down with something.”  
“Don’t worry. We’ll help you up the ladder.” Duncan says as I love him even more.  
“Guys, Gwen really is sick.” Trent goes over as I raise a brow. “In her condition, she’d probably fall right off the platform and land on that poor horse.” It takes a second for his words to reach his thought processor and I’m already silently laughing.  
“Wish me luck.” Her team cheers for her.  
“We’re gonna need a new team captain.” I snorted at Duncan.  
“I heard that.” Gwen then climbs up.  
“Break a leg, Gwen.” I shake my head with a giggle at Trent’s choice of words. She plans on coming down only to sneeze and come falling. I hold back a laugh as she lands looking to my dad to see him smirking a laugh in his eyes.   
“Gwen!” Trent goes over to her as she falls to the ground.  
“Thanks. Just watch my left--” He lifts her left arm. “Ow! Arm!” He’s pulled away from Gwen as Leshawna lifts her up. Finding it his que, dad walks by me.  
“Whoa! That was awesome, Gwen! Gaffers, one. Grips, you’re up.”  
“It’s not like things can get any worse.” Famous last words of many misfortunes. I smile as Trent climes only to fall and miss the horse completely landing right between the legs on a pole. “Or maybe they can.” He was a few octaves higher than normal and I watched my dad wince as I did only to smile along with him.  
“Glad it wasn’t me. Gaffers, one. Grips, zip. Harold, you’re up.”  
Harold manages to land and then Duncan comes down on him too. I giggle as we smile to each other.  
“Way to pad the saddle, Duncan.”  
“I think you broke my coccyx.”  
“Gaffers, three. Grips, zilch.”  
“Goodbye sweet world!” Owen jumps and the horse is smart enough to move making Own land indenting the ground. “Hey! You get back here!” The horse is officially running from him, but Owen succeeds in mounting the horse.  
“Nice effort, Owen, my man. If horses can bend, so can the rules.” I felt bad for the horse. The poor thing even tried running from Owen knowing the human black hole was a problem. “Grips are now on the board with one.” The Gaffers complain as I shrug.  
D.J. jumps and uses an old-fashioned parachute to aid his fall as he’s crying the whole way down. Only for the wind to pick up and send him into the electrical wires. The other wince as I smile with dad.  
“Chirs, you are gonna send someone to help DJ, right?” He starts laughing as I softly giggle too.  
“Uh, says right here, page 37 of my gluteus maximus modeling contract, I am forbidden from any form of jumping that might strain my, uh, assets. Sorry.” He pats his butt as I raise a brow. Hope these contracts don’t get in the way of the competition.  
Lindsay and Beth decide to jump together and actually make it onto the horse causing it to collapse.  
“All right Grips and gaffers are now tied at three each. It’s up to you two to break the tie. Who wants to take one for the gaffers?” Leshawna and Heather go back and forth as the both climb the ladder and both take a dive only to never reach the ground.  
“Where’d they go?” Look up Gwen.  
“Not there. Way up there.” They were stuck on the weather vane by their pants. Leshawna gives way and using her hair bounces to her feet. My eyes are instantly covered by smooth hands that weren’t like my fathers and Duncan had slightly calloused hands from being a Delinquent.  
“Ha! Bet you’re not laughing at my hair now.” Dad does laugh though.  
“Well, I guess you showed her. And by her, I mean the entire viewing audience.” I hear a growling and assume it’s Leshawna. “Ok, Ok! You don’t gotta get my dungarees all dusty. Looks like the teams are still tied at three apiece. To the next challenge for the tiebreaker, cowpokes.”  
“Wait, what about Kay-” Justin was really close as my eyes were uncovered as I see that it was Justin who had covered my eyes.  
“To the next challenge!” Justin’s question was cut off as Dad started walking followed by me and the others. Heather is left behind as she complains.  
She’s soon brought down as we all stand before my father who does a stereotypical cowboy stance with the hat covering his eye.  
“The hallmark of any good western is the quick-draw cowboy showdown. Captains will pick their strongest cowpoke to compete in what will likely be a fight to the death!” He says as he’s got a hand on both Trent and Heather’s shoulders. He laughs as the two walk away from him. He gets a call. “Ello? Uh-huh. I see. Fine.” He hangs up the phone. “Our lawyers have informed me that you may shoot until someone is mildly injured or cries like a little baby, but a fight to the death is strictly prohibited. Time to pick your cowboys.”  
“I don’t mind doing it. I’ve played my fair share of shooter games to get really good at quick drawing.” The others nod at me, but I see where Trent is looking and realize he’s going to throw the challenge again.  
/”Trent got lucky that the bus wasn’t working, but we’re on the film lot. I’m not going to let him keep throwing challenges for Gwen. I think Trent needs some time to think.” I pout as I look to the camera.\  
“The grips pick… Owen.” I wasn’t surprised like the others. I look and notice Owens not even here. I then see where he is drinking the squirt guns wearing only some very small cowboy pants and his undies which were showing.  
“What? You wanna use Owen for target practice? He’s a guaranteed hit.” Justin brings up as I sigh.  
“He is a little… large.” Lindsay tried to say lightly.  
“I practically take up the whole road.” He laughs as he drinks from the guns.  
“Owen, put some pants on!” Heather complains as I nod.  
“Owen! We needed that water for the quick-draw cowboy showdown!” Dad whines like a child and looks at Chef.  
“Don’t look at me. I aint lugging any more water in this heat.” Owen burps.  
“Sorry. I was thirsty.”  
“Ok, new challenge.” We meet in a new area as Owen returns to his usual clothes. “Since Owen ruined the last competition, your final challenge of the day will be calf-roping.”  
“Where are the cute little baby cows at?” D.J. asked as I had to agree with him.  
“There aren’t any. Grips are the cowboys. Gaffers are the cattle.” I smirk at Duncan. “The cowboys rope the cattle, they win. The cattle dodge the cowboys, they win.”  
“Well, how do we know who’s who?” By team, Trent, there’s only twelve of us.   
“Grips get to wear these stylin’ cowboy hats. Gaffers get to wear udders!” I bust out laughing.  
“You just had to ask.” I smile proudly at this.  
“Sorry. But I bet you’ll look real cute in the hat, Gwen.”  
“Udderly adorable,” I say with a wink to a very angry delinquent with cow udders on his head.  
/”Yes, I did make a pun and yes I did enjoy it.” I’m smiling proud of myself as I’m wearing a copy of my dad’s hat.\  
Grips had our rope and were wearing hats that respectfully matched our outfits. Dad does have a flare for fashion. While the Gaffers were wearing udders.  
“Would the cattle care for some hay?”  
“Would the host care for an udder sandwich?” I giggle at the pun as Dad smiles.  
“I’m good. Chef will now judge the competition. Yo, Chef!” He was once again dressed in a dress, but it was a frilly translucent pink southern belle dress that has a bonnet as well. He was scowling at Dad before opening a fan. “Love the dress, Chefette.” Dad laughs as Chef growls. He decides to tie dad to the fencing.   
“Maybe when I change, I’ll come back and untie you.”  
“I can’t feel my arms.” I get a stern glare from Chef daring me to go untie him. Dad sighs. “Let the calf-roping begin.” The Gaffers run off as we soon chase after them. I go after Delinquent with a smirk while he runs.  
“And that’s two cows down, four more to go.”  
I switch targets for a moment and manage to get Harold before all of us cowboys go after the final three… except they see the rope and come after us instead. I manage to dodge everyone only to feel the rope come over me as I’m pulled into Duncan’s chest.  
“Nice try there Shortstack, but I’m a bit better.” I gave a glare, but it held no true malice in it and he knows as he kisses my head and leads me to the others where Justin was on the ground with rope around him gently. Stupid contracts.  
“Well, what do we have here? The cattle have roped the cowboys.” I see a spark in his eyes when seeing me tied in rope, but I give an un-noticeable smile and it’s gone. “A bit unexpected, but what the heck? The gaffers win.” They cheer as Duncan then ropes Harold pulling him to the ground. I slipped out of the rope to calm dad even more seeing that I wasn’t tied.  
“Uh, hello! We’re on the same team.”  
“What, you gonna go all medieval camp on me?” He then wraps him completely up in rope.  
“You grips are losers, and you know what happens to losers? Which Grip wants to take the heat?” Dad holds out a branding iron hit with the letter L. The others book it as Trent and I remain.  
“Got anything in a G?” Trent asks as then dad gets a call.  
“Legals say brandings out. Guess I have to settle for booting one of the Grips off in the most exciting gilded Chris ceremony ever! Now, go shower. You stink.”   
I’m resting against Duncan who’s playing with my hair when Justin comes in.  
“I need him for a moment.” The glare Duncan gives Justin is enough of a warning. “It’s a team matter.” I pat his arms and get up as he’s still glaring.  
“What’s this about?” I ask as we exit and I see the rest of the team minus Trent. They were still in their towels.  
“Just wait.” Then Gwen exits the girls trailer. “Tell them what I just heard you say to Trent.”  
“Sorry. I can’t hear you. Achoo! Head cold.” She was just as bad of an actor as Trent.  
“FIne. I’ll do it, then. Trent’s been purposely throwing our challenges for Gwen.” The others react poorly.  
“What else is new?” The others look at me as I just shrug. “It’s not like Gwen was purposefully allowing it. It was all on Trent’s side. I’m sure Gwen handled it right?”  
“I broke up with Trent.” I sympathize as do the other girls. I smack Owen for peeping at Lindsay.  
“This could all be a rous. Some strategy to make it to the final two.”  
“Wow. Beauty and brains.” Owen compliments Justin as I roll my eyes.  
“I wasn’t in on it, I swear.”  
“I-”  
“Prove it.” I glare at Justin for putting Gwen in this vulnerable spot.  
“Fine. Vote Trent off. Things have gotten way too complicated between us anyway. You’ll be doing me a favor.”  
“Oh, great cherry cheesecake! She’s bluffing!” I had half a mind to smack Owen again.  
“We’ll see about that. Either way, you owe us, Gwen.” I take Gwen by the hand and lead her away glaring at the two males on my team.  
“Gwen, I’m sorry about you and Trent. Did you ever ask him about his favorite number nine?”  
“I know it’s just the addition of our two names and it adds to his obsession over me.” I roll my eyes.  
“My number’s are eight and twelve. One does happen to be the addition of Duncan and my own name, but that isn’t why it’s my favorite number. It’s someone’s lucky number because it’s been with them forever and it makes them safe. I’ll agree it was kinda creepy in the beginning, but after learning the truth… well it’s still creepy but understandably so.”  
“He wanted to brand himself with a G and he’s been throwing challenges for me!” I nod. “And you knew!”  
“Yes, but that’s because he’s trying to understand you and he might have been a bit jealous of Duncan. Albeit he’s wrong, but at least he’s showing he cares. I understand for the show to split, but once this is all over… try again.” I give her a pat on the shoulder before leaving her alone to her thought.  
I knew Trent was done long before the ceremony.  
“The votes have been cast. If you get a gilded Chris, it means you’re safe… for now.” Chef walks in with five statues and he’s wearing a suit jacket and a purple bowtie. “What happened to your dress?” He makes the “I’m watching you” symbol to dad. “And the gilded Chris goes to… Kaylub, Lindsay, and Beth.” The girls cheer as I catch mine. Justin gets his and the suspension is built between Owen and Trent. “Owen.”  
“What? This has to be a mistake.”  
“Trent, it’s time to go.”  
“But I can’t leave without saying goodbye to Gwen.”  
“Yo, Chef, little help here.” He calls out to Gwen even as he’s being taken away. Seeing such a site has me heading towards Duncan and holding onto him as he doesn’t question it and we cuddle together that night.


	33. Prison Movie

I wake up as I hear D.J. leaving the room. Deciding to follow I go and get ready tailing after the big lovable guy. I stay far enough behind that he doesn’t suspect me and I notice him entering the craft tent. What are you up to Chef? I go around the back and peak in the window.  
“Ok, maggot, I’m gonna ride you till your confidence coats the back of a spoon and your self-respect forms stiff peaks. No more mama’s boy, D.J. Watch and learn.” He then cuts up and makes a concoction of the most disgusting things I’ve seen… including a shoe.  
“What is that?”  
“Taste perfection, boy.” Chef shoves a spoonful into D.J.’s mouth. “What you’re tasting is pride, son, the most important virtue in a man’s life. Now stir that pot.” He then leaves.  
“If Chef wants pride, Mama’s gonna show him pride, with her special flavor blend, mama spice.” He pours a whole lot in as I leave and head back to the trailers seeing dad in a police officer's outfit wielding a baton. He winks to me as I nod going behind the trailers as soon he opens them. I see the guys fly out in a heap before the girls.  
“Hope you all enjoyed your first taste of the gulag.” I go over to the others as Lindsay makes me shake my head with her comment.  
“Gulag? I didn’t get any gulag.”  
“Well, prepare for it to get a whole lot worse, because today is prison flick day.” A few groan as I smirk to Delinquent who rolled his eyes.  
“Must feel like home huh?” I bump him as he ruffles my hair.  
“It was juvie, don’t get too excited.” I swat his hand away.  
“Ah, prison. The confinement. The claustrophobia. The vile, nasty food. And you’re always looking over your shoulder. ‘Cause Mr. Killer Dude wants to cut you for taking the last tater tot. And no matter how hard you try, digging out spoonfuls of dirt year after year, there’s no escape. Unless you get voted off, of course.” I giggle as we all go into the prison set to get started on the first challenge. There were two suspended cells and two tables of cooking supplies.  
“Lockdown, people. Let’s get this challenge started. Teams, take a prisoner from the competition and Chef, I mean warden,” the two share a smirk, “lock ‘em up.”  
We form a circle.  
“It’s in the bag. Gwen owes us.” I look at Justin with a slight glare.  
“But what if locking her up means she’s out of the challenge, though?” Beth brought up.  
“But we can’t know, remember? We need this bad.” Owen responds.  
“Let’s flip a coin. Heads we win. Tails, victory is ours.” I smile finding Lindsay’s comments refreshing.  
“Choices? Gaffers?” Dad calls bringing us back.  
“Lindsay,” Heather says as she cheers.  
“Grips. Now, remember, this is an important choice, especially for perennial losers like yourselves.”  
“Oh, we shouldn’t have any problems beating Gwen.” Beth winks at her and I see her gulp. Try to be more obvious, would you?   
“Today’s first game is the Prison Chow-lenge.” I giggle at the play on words. “Each team of prison chefs whips up the foulest, nastiest, most barf-inducing slop this side of Alcatraz. Gwen and Lindsay have to stomach as much as they can. Last one to power-hurl wins.” Lindsay and Gwen both get locked up and Lindsay was already about to puke.  
“The reward had better be worth it.”  
“Have I ever let you down?” Dad responds to Gwen. “Wait. Scratch that. Anyway, the winning team gets this.” He shows off a golden shovel.  
“What are we supposed to do with a shovel?” I sigh at Lindsay.  
“Prisoners ready. And Culinate!” Dad provides commentary throughout the creation process as Justin has Beth go get brushes. We add dead hair, Owen’s dandruff, and a few other things to our concoction.  
“Time’s up, and jailbirds, home your appetites are primed.”  
“Uh, Chris? Can I be excused since I’m not in the cage?” Dad looks at me and I know he’s already approving my disappearance, but he’s making a show for the cameras. He taps his chin and thinks about it for a minute.  
“Sure, don’t go far though.” I nod and disappear off the set taking a deep breath of fresh air.  
It wasn’t long after that the two teams met me outside.  
“Well that was fast.” I look to Gwen and see her look away. She won the challenge.  
“Yeah,” Duncan winks at me as I smile. I followed the others to where the elimination challenge was at. There were two baskets of laundry and an obstacle course.  
“Elimination challenge. Here we go. No “get out of jail free” cards here, people. This is Escape from Total Drama Pen. Each team must hop in their laundry carts while one member pushes through the obstacle course to freedom. When you reach the wall, get digging. First team to reach the boxcar to freedom wins immunity. Convicts, select the pusher.”  
D.J. offers to push for the Gaffers only for Gwen to make him nervous and she decides to push. She winks at us as I shake my head.  
“So, which of you guys is pushing us?” I, for one, feel offended that Beth isn’t even looking at me, and also at the assumption that it should be one of the guys. Though looking at both her and Lindsay I can see why she jumped to that conclusion. Owen instantly reacts.  
“Dang trick knee’s been acting up since that time I… pushed it to the max at the… sports game.” Justin and I share the same expression of disbelief. He hops away into the basket.  
“Oh, poor thing. Justin, we could use some real manliness here,” Lindsay brings up with a flutter of her lashes and a light blush.  
/”What am I a porcelain doll?” I pout cutely and hear awws coming from the makeup crew inside the confessional. I glare at them, but they still look like they’re seeing the cutest little thing ever.\  
“Look, girls, the gaffers have Gwen pushing. We don’t want it to look too uneven. I think we need a girl too, to help hide the whole cheating business.”  
“Nope, I’m cutting you off right there.” The three look at me. “I’m pushing.”  
“Now, Kaylub, we don’t want you to hurt yourself. It’ll certainly give them the win,” Justin says sparking a fire in me.  
“Get in or I’ll put you in the cart myself, pretty boy.” It was as cold as the glare I’m giving him. He blinks surprised.  
“This is it, teams.” Everyone was in the cart as Justin was still looking at me. “On your marks, get set, escape!”   
I managed to start pushing, but I was definitely slower than Gwen.  
“Wow, Gwen. You’re going even faster than Trent ever could.” Beth calls out causing Gwen to come to a stop. Once I got momentum going, I just kept pushing as we passed Gwen.  
“Good girl. Trent would be proud.” I growl at my team, but they don’t notice. I was still pushing.  
“Kaylub?” Beth called.  
“Kaylub?” Justin called.  
“Kaylub!” Both called together as I looked up and saw the wall incredibly close. I dig my heels into the ground bringing us to a stop. Owen wakes up and the four of us get digging.  
“Justin, why aren’t you digging? It sounds like they’re ahead of us.”  
“Relax, Kaylub, Gwen’s throwing the challenge for us, remember?”  
“Yeah, I remember the dumb idea that was. Forcing someone who had no clue that her boyfriend was throwing challenges to do the same just to make up for the mistakes of said dumb boyfriend. Great idea.” I glare at him. “And if the reason you’re not digging is due to your contracts, and we lose. I’m voting for you.” I start digging with a new fire in my system.   
It was quiet the rest of the way as it seemed that we had a fifth digger. I sneak a glance and see Justin, not only digging, but also looking at me with something in his eyes that I couldn’t quite place.  
We emerge from underground and the Gaffers are nowhere in sight. We cheer realizing we won.  
“All right! Killer Grips!” Kaleidoscope arrives wearing a camo hat covered in twigs and she has buck teeth. “High five!” I shrug and give her one.  
“But we voted you off.”  
“Actually we voted off E-scope. Izzy’s technically still a Grip.” I share a look with my father.  
We went to the craft tent as Izzy and Owen were making googly eyes at each other. I notice Duncan motioning for us to talk.  
“What’s up Delinquent, mad you los-”  
“Did Gwen really make a deal with your team?” I drop the smile and look up to his serious face. I sigh and look away. I feel arms wrap around me and my chin is tilted up so I’m looking into sea teal eyes. “I know you had no part in it. You’d never cheat… not without me knowing.” I roll my eyes as he smirks. We share a swift kiss before he’s off to eliminations.  
Gwen was eliminated.


	34. Doctor Movie

We were all heading back to the trailers as Izzy is running around being her usual weird self. We then try to enter the trailers and they’re locked. An ambulance drives by and a stretcher comes rolling out the back.   
“Ew! What is that? A dead body?”  
“Or an undead body.” I nod to Duncan as dad rises from the sheet on top of a bunch of medical books. A few gasp at his appearance.  
“Boo!” He scares Harold who leaps into Leshawna’s arms. “Calm yourselves. No one’s dead… yet. I’m here to prep you plucky ducks for our most awesome challenge yet. These textbooks hold the sum total of eight years of med school. And each one of you gets one, because tomorrow we’re gonna play doctor.” We each get thrown a book as Duncan rolls his eyes. “You’ll want to memorize the entire contents of these textbooks… by morning.”  
“But it’s already so late.” Heather complained as I was already scanning the book.  
“You got that right.” Chef rolls up with pizza. “What med school all-nighter would be complete without pizza?” Owen is handed the pizzas.  
“It’s gotta be a trick,” Leshawna says as I shrug.  
“More like method acting. Med-school interns consume 850% more pizza than the average human. So dig in. ‘Cause there’s plenty more where that came from.” Dad and Chef leave as Duncan is the first to test the pizza.  
“Looks okay, smells okay,” he takes a bite, “tastes incredible.” I noticed D.J.'s absence. Chef has him in the kitchen again. The teams split up as The Screaming Gaffers go to the craft tent.  
“Hey, do I squint when I read?”  
“Drop the book. I’ll just read it to you.” Justin blinks as I start to read out loud allowing Lindsay to also stop reading as I was between the two. The others eat the pizza as I just focus on reading.  
I notice Leshawna and Duncan return early to go to sleep. I get a wink from Duncan and I roll my eyes.  
The next morning we all arrive on one of the studio sets and everyone is tired minus Duncan, Leshawna, and I. The others complain.  
“Oh, man. Nothing like a good night’s sleep. Am I right?” Duncan wraps an arm around me as I giggle.   
“Or just have insomnia.” The others glare and grumble at us.  
“Morning, competitors!” Dad slides out the door. “Or should I say, doctors!” He bazooka shoots all of us with medical gear as Lindsay is knocked over. He shoots past me, but I know he’ll edit it to look like he shot me. I put mine on. We share a smile. “Ready for today’s big challenge?”  
“Some of us are more ready than others.” Heather glares at Leshawna who bites back.  
“You made your choice, I made mine.”  
“Ooh! Tension. My favorite. Let’s take it inside.” We followed him into the room where two tanks were situated along with puzzle boards and a giant overhead light.   
“Today’s reward challenge is called Visiting Hours. And only one member of the winning team gets to enjoy the reward.”  
“If only one of us gets the prize, why even bother trying to win?” I look at Duncan.  
“A challenge is a challenge,” I say with a shrug.  
“One for all and all for one.” Leshawna adds on.  
“Yeah, but if we win, who gets to be the “one”?”  
“The person who contributes the most directly to the win.” Heather states as I nod.  
“Chris, you haven’t told us what the reward is yet.”  
“You’re very perceptive, Harold. Let’s see if that’ll help you and your team assemble a… cadaver!”  
“You mean, like, a dead body?” I blink at Lindsay.  
“No. I mean, like, a giant dead body.”  
“Wouldn’t that be giganticus cadaver?” He glares at me with no malice in it as I smile.  
“These tanks contain the dismembered parts of two identical cadavers. Each player will climb their respective team ladder, strap on the bungee cord and jump into the tank with hopes of retrieving a body part. Any parts you find will be snapped in place on the platforms. Use those chains to raise them all the way to the roof, where they will be reanimated by blasts of lightning. First team to bring a Franken-Chris to life wins. First crack goes to the team who can tell me how to treat someone with a bean stuck up their nose.”  
“Ooh! Ooh!” Beth gives the correct answer and goes for a part only to get zapped by an electric eel.  
“Oh yeah. I forgot to mention the electric eels. Three zaps and you’re out.” I giggle at this as Beth goes again and gets a foot. I catch it and strap it on.  
Thus begins the round of Q&A with a few gibberish answers that I know dad added just for fun. The Gaffers ended up being ahead… by a head and Duncan was tormenting Harold. Which I found funny. It seemed Leshawna was trying to do something involving Duncan and Harold, but I didn’t really care as soon we were neck and neck pulling the chains to see who would reach the roof first.  
It was as we neared the roof that Izzy bites Owen finding a red sore, he’s burning up, and he burps which tastes lemony.  
“Page 753. Mortatistical Crumples Disease.” The teams look at me. “Also fatal… and highly contagious.” Everyone gasps as I look at my dad. We share a knowing look.  
“Okay, looks like it’s quarantine time. See ya. Wouldn’t wanna be ya.” He then leaves and barricades the doors.  
Owen and D.J. end up getting locked up in quarantine balls and Owen starts rolling around being a pinball of death.  
“We need to confirm no one else is infected. Symptoms of Mortatistical Crumples include explosive diarrhea…” Lindsay goes to the portal bathroom. “Itchy lips…” Justin’s lips become itchy. “Sudden hot flashes…” Beth sweats up a storm. “Seasickness…” I look away as Heather turns green. “Speaking in tongues…” Izzy starts gibbering. “And temporary blindness. Anyone? Anyone? Well that’s a relief.” Harold then runs into Izzy. “I’m blind!”  
/”Funny thing is. I’ve actually read medical textbooks…” I look away. “I was bored and didn’t have anything else to read.” I pause again. “So I know that this is a fake disease which is why I’m not feeling affected… also I bet the pizza was rigged, so I didn’t eat it.”\  
Everyone was on a stretcher minus Owen and D.J. who were in bubbles and Duncan, Leshawna, and I who were unaffected. We ended up caring for the sick ones as Justin smiled at me as I gave him a glass of water. I blush lightly.  
“Oh, this is nuts! We gotta do something.” I go over to where Leshawna and Duncan are.  
“Have you noticed we’re the only ones who didn’t study all night and who haven’t been affected.”  
“That’s where you’re wrong. Sugar-pie is also completely fine and he studied.” The two look at me.  
“I don’t believe anything I read. You two go get the textbook and check the kitchen. I’ll stay here and keep them… alive.” The two head out as I continue my care on the others.  
I had popped D.J.’s bubble so he could go pee when Duncan and Leshawna returned.  
“Whatcha find?” I knew what they would find… I just wanted them to have it.  
“As someone who has extensive experience with forgery, trust me, this textbook, and everything in it, is a total crock. The book covers are really just old cereal boxes.” Duncan then runs to the bathroom.  
“It can’t be a crock. No one’s faking being sick.” I look to Leshawna to answer Harold.  
“No, but it’s still a hoax. I went to Chef’s kitchen, where I found this cheese.” D.J. tries acting like he’s never seen the canister before and I roll my eyes at his terrible job. “No, itching powder and laxatives.”  
“That explains the diarrhea and itchy lips.” Duncan has reemerged from the toilet.  
“And Kaylub and I are the only ones who didn’t eat the pizza.”  
“But wait. What about the sores on Owen and D.J.?” Beth asks as I go up to D.J. and take off the pepperoni.  
“It’s a pepperoni. And about the other symptoms, it’s a classical case of first-year med-school syndrome. Cram too hard with little sleep, you’ll believe you have every illness in the book.”  
Izzy then pops Owen’s bubble allowing his noxious fumes to fill the air. I watch as the others “recover”.  
“Congratulations. Screaming Gaffers, you just won the challenge.” They cheer as dad and I share a look. “Brilliant diagnostic skills, Duncan and Leshawna. Way to suss it out. And for your reward…” He realizes he’s missing something. “Knew I forgot something. Just a sec.” He leaves as I walk over to Duncan only for him to get grabbed by Leshawna.  
“Ok, jokers, all I want is an iron-clad alliance to get Heather out of my face. Can we not agree on that?”  
“I don’t know if I can handle being in an alliance with you and Doris here.” I bite my lip at Harold’s apparent middle name.  
“I absolutely refuse to be in an alliance with Duncan. With you, yes. A Hundred thousand cagillion times, yes. But with him, never.”  
“I try to help and this is what I get. You’re a pair of fools.” I giggle as dad returns with a plate.  
“As I was saying… for your reward.” He reveals photos of people they care about. “Yep. One of you gets a whole spa night away from this cruddy studio lot with your very best friend. So, who’s the lucky stiff?” The team starts to talk over one another and then Leshawna cries. I blink at this as her tears manage to get her the win.  
“Yuk! Clean up on aisle two!” She’s sweeped out of the studio. Dad and I share a glance.  
Later that night, I’m with dad and we’re watching the feed as Leshawna was fake crying just to get the win. Dad does the outro.  
“Called it.” He chuckles.  
“You know, if you had just said everything you knew. You could have won.”  
“And who would have come with me to the spa?” It was quiet for a moment. “That’s what I thought.” I hug him before heading out.


	35. Horror Movie

We were all enjoying the nice day out as Beth had snagged some sandwiches and we were all snacking on them. They were apparently really good, and telling by the fact that he was a sleep on the ground, D.J. made them.  
“Attention all Total Drama victims, please meet me in the north-east corner of the studio palooza. Bring lozenges. The screamings gonna hurt.” We all head over to the corner as Justin leans on a light looking my way. He winks when he notices I’m looking. I blush lightly and look away.  
“We walk all the way over here and lieutenant slick can’t even be bothered to show up?”  
“Maybe he’s racked up too much overtime figuring to new ways to torture us.” Justin responds to Heather’s question. We all hear a scream and then Dad gets pierced through the chest on the light that Justin was previously leaning on. We all scream getting covered in blood spray as I cover my mouth tears filling my eyes in an instant. Dad? I start to shake as Justin checks.  
“Huh. Guess the producers don’t like paying overtime.”  
“I’m worth every dime.” Dad pops up in response to Justin and locks eyes with me. They hold in them that he’s all right and everything is ok. I nod, still shaking as my eyes remained a bit blurry.  
“Aw, man. I was just about to call dibs on your boat.” Duncan says, taking note of my shakiness.  
“It’s the magic of cinema, boys and girls.” His eyes lock back onto mine. “I’m absolutely, perfectly, Chrissily fine.” He removes the prop light off him as I giggle at his name pun. I’m feeling better, but still a little shaky. “Want to see how it’s done?”  
“No!” Everyone calls out as I nod.  
“Our crackerjack effects team seals fake blood into a thin membrane of plastic called a Squib. This little baby busts on impact. An old-fashioned optical illusion helps sell that I’ve been impaled.” I face-palm at myself for getting scared. I’ve seen actors do this before yet it felt so real right now.  
“Can we just get on with this?” Duncan stated as he looked over to me. I nod reassuring him I’m fine.  
“I can’t believe you’re so unscarable. You didn’t even scream.” Lindsay points out about Beth as I look at her.  
“I did on the inside. I just can’t do it on the outside.” I raise a brow. “When I was ten and they were doing my tonsillectomy, there was a freak accident and the doctor’s earring fell into my throat. Can’t scream worth a darn.” I was impressed.  
“Get out!”  
“Serious.”  
“Time for today’s totally terrifying, bloodcurdling horror-movie challenge. To figure out which team gets which challenge, a scream-off. Think of every great horror movie you’ve ever seen.” Dad stands by me as just feeling his presence helps calm my nerves. Izzy then goes off talking about a horror movie that might be real… or that she just made up. With a pat on my shoulder, dad continues talking. “All horror movies have one thing in common, fantastic screams from actors and the killers who snuff them. Each team, pick a serial killer. The rest of you will be the screamers. If your serial killer can make you scream the loudest, your team wins.”  
“Wait, but they have one extra person. It’s unfair.” Heather complained.  
“You’re right… after you pick your killers, I’ll pick one Grip that will be sitting out this challenge… just to keep things fair.” Heather gave a satisfied nod.  
“You guys gotta let me be the killer. The mask offers good protection for my beautiful face.” We were going to decide who was the killer and Justin was first to voice an opinion.  
“Ok, I am such the better scarer. My own dog is terrified of me, Ok?” Izzy puts in.  
“But you’re cute as a bug in a rug.” Owen fawns over Izzy.  
“Um, hey you guys? Um… Beth?” She goes between Owen fawning over Izzy to Beth who was fawning over Justin.  
“What’s up Lindsay?” I ask as she smiles at me.  
“Beth should be the serial killer due to the fact that she can’t scream.” I nod and clap my hands to a tune learned in school that gets everyone's attention.  
“Beth’s the killer.” I raise a hand to stop any objections. “Lindsay brought up a good point.” I motion for her to take it away.  
“Beth’s a non-screamer, and we don’t know who Chris’s going to pick to sit out the challenge. If we don’t pick her we’re going down.” We all return to where dad was waiting.  
“Okay, Kaylub, come sit over here.” I nod kinda happy I was chosen not to compete. Everyone went onto the sets to prepare and I’m pulled into my dad’s arms. I relax into the hold. “I’m sorry for scaring you. I’m completely fine. It was only for the intro.” He kept his hold on me as I smiled and nodded.  
“Let’s go watch the scares now.” He chuckles and ruffles my hair as we separate.  
“All right, Justin and Harold, prepare yourselves for your killers to enter.” We were seated in director chairs while the two were on a forest set inside one of the studios. “And then I want huge, massive, ginormous screams. We’ll be measuring the volume on our scream-o-meter. Lights! Camera! Action!”   
We watch as my team goes first and Justin doesn’t scream much claiming he doesn’t want to ruin his vocal cords. I roll my eyes. D.J. goes and Harold gives a good, loud, scream.  
“With a solid 50 on the scream-o-meter. Let’s notch one up for D.J., Harold, and the Screaming Gaffers.”  
Next was a toilet scene as it was Leshawna and Lindsay. Lindsay got scared of Beth and even tinkled a little causing her to scream more. Leshawna on the other hand was laughing at D.J.’s attempt at being scary.  
“And that’s round to Beth, Lindsay and the Killer Grips with a pee-fuelled 85 on the scream-o-meter.” We move onto a log cabin set. “All right, guys. This is the tie-breaker scene. You’re gonna have to act your faces off.” Owen and Izzy find out they have to make-out and start doing so. Dad and I share a look. “Awkward.”  
We got to the Gaffer’s side and it’s Duncan and Heather. Where’s the knives? I sneak off and go get one. When I return they’re both sitting on opposite sides of the couch and D.J.’s behind the couch. My shadow falls over the three and they look with wide eyes as I’m holding a knife with a smile.  
“Hi, what’s going on, Duncan.” All three of them scream the loudest being Duncan. D.J. faints.  
“Well, looks to me like D.J. and the well-named Screaming Gaffers have won this one. Seeing as they buried the needle. Join us after the break to see if D.J. is still alive. D.J., come in, D.J.” I felt bad about D.J. and felt the knife being taken from my hand. I look to see it’s Delinquent with a worried look.  
“Shortstack?”  
“How long was the kiss?”  
“Less than a second.” I nod as we circle D.J.  
“Is he breathing?” Beth asked.  
“I think he’s saying something.” Leshawna imputed.  
“Mama?”  
We place him in a chair and Heather smacks him.  
“I need to see Chef.” Heather slaps him again.  
“Heather!”  
“What? He’s still talking crazy.” D.J. was shaking in fear of Heather hitting him again.  
“Chef’s in a meeting with the producers. A disciplinary meeting. He’s in trouble. Not allowed to mess with the challenges. Moving right along. It’s time to pack those overnight bags, loser Grips. You and your sleeping bags are spending the night in the dining hall. Gaffer winners, back to the comfort of the trailers for a little R&R. I’ll see you there in half an hour.”  
We grab some sleeping stuff and find ourselves in the dining hall.  
“This isn’t such a bad place to sleep for the night.” Owen says as I raise a brow. “It’s full of good memories of food.”  
“Oh, more than memories. I just found half a piece of cheesecake under here.” Izzy says as I blink.  
“I think I love you.”  
“Guys, mind joining us here?” Dad calls for them as were seated in the middle of the dinning hall between the two tables. He’s sitting on a stool while we sit on the floor. “I’m about to tell you why this film lot was abandoned and closed.”  
“Oh, I love ghost stories.” I say in excitement.  
“Because it’s a death trap?” Justin brings up making me giggle.  
“Hush, my children. This film lot is perfectly safe on this plane. But in the other dimension…” He turns on his flashlight which shines on his face. “Juanina Ritacca, a dedicated security guard who worked here for 25 loyal years, until her mysterious death, right here, on this very spot! Now her desperate and uneasy spirit walks the lot.” He starts to shine the light on the wall showing the shadows of the trees outside. “No one has ever managed to spend a whole night in this crafts service tent.”  
“Because they were killed by falling sets?” I snort at Justin’s quips.  
“Because of the haunting!” He gets up in Justin’s face with the flashlight.  
“Your task, spend the whole night here without leaving this tent. If you manage to do so, your team gets invincibility and nobody goes home. Track any psychic phenomenon using these ghost meters. And, just in case,” we get a keychain flashlight.  
“Gee, thanks.” Beth was unamused as he then leaves.  
“I love ghost stories.” My team looks at me as I smile. “What? Something about the other side is enticing. Plus the fact that they do all kinds of crazy stuff just to scare people or communicate with people is amazing.” I take a seat and relax knowing this was going to be easy. Only one of us has to remain in the tent the whole night and I ain’t scared of no ghost.  
Later on the team is playing cards as I’m just humming to the song I’m listening to. Then I notice a phantom ball that happens to be swaying. I watch as everyone but Lindsay freaks out.  
“Wait. I said, “Wait!” I blink at her authority as the others stop just short of the exit. “The ghost meters aren’t reading a thing.” I reveal that it was actually just a trick. I then giggle a bit to myself realizing that this is a challenge. Game on, Gaffers.   
Next was “blood” on the walls. The others run again minus Lindsay and me.  
“Wait. What do you smell?” I go over to the “blood” and scoop some up on my finger.  
“Fear! And fear smells like…”  
“Ketchup.” I point out as the team settles down again.  
The lights go out and I start hyperventilating only to be pulled into someone’s chest. Feeling the toned chest and listening to the calming voice I piece together that it’s Justin. I blush lightly as I keep my eyes closed.  
“Remember, everyone, it’s just Chris trying to scare us and Lindsay’s team doesn’t give up.” Dad wouldn’t turn out the lights. We then hear ghostly sounds as I keep my head buried in Justin’s chest.  
“It’s a poltergeist!” Owen yells.  
“It’s a runtergeist!” Izzy replies as I am being lifted up and carried by Justin.  
“Wait! The ghost meters still aren’t going off.” Then something causes it to go off and she screams.  
We meet at the elimination ceremony as I blush lightly next to Justin who is smiling my way.  
“And now afraidy-cat Grips, it’s time to announce who will not win a gilded Chris this week. Who deserves to go home, bitterly disappointed, tears in their eyes?” Chef is back in his dress glaring at my dad. “And the gilded Chris goes to… Izzy, Beth, Owen, Kaylub. Still on the chopping block, Lindsay and Justin.”  
“What? I can’t be going? Why would people be mad at me? Beth?” I had to agree with Lindsay, she did amazing.  
“You were a little… bossy.”  
“Hello, it’s called leadership.” I nod.  
“And the final gilded Chris goes to…” The suspension is built.  
“Stop! I’m gonna do what I should have done long ago.” D.J. called out as the Gaffers were there on stage. Duncan seemed to be glaring at Justin. “Make Mama proud. I’m voting myself off.”  
“D.J.! Heh, heh,” Chef walks over to him. “Why don’t you and I have a chat before you do anything stupid?”  
“No, Chef. I’m not listening to you any more. Chef and me, we had an illegal alliance.” I fake a gasp as everyone else gasps for real. “He’s been tutoring me in tough, coaching me through challenges.” Dad looks pissed. “I’ll miss you all.”  
“Wait, wait, wait, wait. You’ve been cooking all the delicious food? The pizza? The cheesecake? The sandwiches?” Owen was gripping D.J.’s shirt as he was on his knees on stage. Dad and I make eye contact and I nod having known about this alliance.  
“Dude, you can’t leave.”  
“Yeah, can’t we just vore Chef off instead.” I nod with Justin as we join the others on stage.  
“Sorry, but I gotta make it right for Mama.” I smile happy he’s doing the right thing. He then leaves as I sigh. We head back to the trailers where Duncan pulls me close.  
“Sorry about the whole, turning off the lights, it was D.J.’s idea.” I nod placing a kiss onto his cheek. That night I cuddled with him in his bunk.


	36. Disaster Movie

We were all at breakfast as everyone was complaining over the disgusting food I can’t taste.  
“I wish my boyfriend was here. He’s such a great cook.” We all look at Beth.  
“Boyfriend? I don’t remember any talk of a boyfriend.” Heather pipes in as I nod.  
“Oh, yeah, I have a boyfriend. I love my boyfriend. What? Didn't I mention my boyfriend before?” Say boyfriend one more time.  
“You sure do like the word boyfriend. When did you two meet?” Leshawna asked as now everyone was invested.  
“We met between TV seasons.”  
“Wasn’t that only like two days?” Lindsay adds as I nod.  
“Mm-hm. We met at the orthodontist’s. He was getting his braces off at the same time as me. At first I wasn’t into him, but after the braces came off, look out.” She then pulls out a picture of him. The others start laughing.  
“So, you have a boyfriend, huh? Prove it.” Heather challenged.  
“Sure. I can tell you everything about him. He’s six feet tall, has light brown hair, blue eyes, size ten shoe, 32 pants with a 34-inch inseam.”  
“Wait a second.” Justin takes the paper from her. “Those stats are written on the back of his picture. I know a comp card when I see one because I’m a professional male model.” He winks at me causing me to blush.  
“Yeah? Well, maybe he’s a model too. Ever thought of that?”  
“No, no one ever thought of that.” I see Duncan glaring at Justin.  
“You’ve been chasing a boyfriend all this time with a honey back home?” Leshawna and I give Beth a hard look. I at least inform my possible boyfriend that I’m poly and there’s a chance he’ll have to share me with others.  
“Sure, my boyfriend’s a model, but he’s still just a guy. Justin is a supermodel. I can’t help myself. Now that my braces are off, it’s a whole new dating world.” With Beth finished and googily eyeing Justin, Harold changes the conversation.  
“Bendy straws! These are just like the ones they had at the hospital where I had my kidneys switched.”  
“Huh?” Owen asked as he stole Justin’s bowl.  
“I was born with a rare kidney condition. My left kidney was where the right one should be.”  
“You had a surgical kidney swap?” Leshawna pipes up surprised.  
“That’s right. I’m a rare case.” He then takes all the bendy straws. Owen then downs another bowl.  
“I think Owen’s taste buds packed up and moved to France a long time ago.” Heather said as she eyed my empty bowl.  
“I wished I had this disgusting slop around last time I was trying to stick to my diet.” I then hear Chef come around and everyone pretended that it was good.  
“I can’t taste it and you know this, so whatever.” He gives me a nod and glares at everyone else.  
“Not to worry folks. You won’t be holding onto your lunch for much longer.” Dad laughs maniacally.  
“And exactly what torture have you concocted for us today?” Duncan asked as I nod.  
“Oh, nothing. Just that your day will be a total disaster. Get it? It’s a disaster movie theme, you know? Like disaster flicks.” I giggle at the pun. “People running for their lives from volcanoes, earthquakes, asteroids, tidal waves. The more disastrous, the better.”  
/”Yay, disasters! I love chaos. Watching people try to survive and somehow succeeding despite mother nature's best attempts is awe-inspiring.” I smile and clap my hands giddy.\  
“Your first challenge is the Earthquake of Inevitable Pain.” We all look at the obstacle course that’s an uphill battle. “Each team has to run the course, challenging your dexterity, maneuverability, and other mad-monkey skills. First team to the top wins. Best out of two earns today’s reward.”  
“Ooh, my boyfriend has a summer job cleaning up after earthquakes and landslides.” Beth brings up as Izzy doesn’t believe her.  
“Enough with the chitty-chat. Take your marks.” We all go over to the two sets of identical obstacles.  
“I can’t wait to swing on the monkey bars,” Beth said as I shook my head.  
“And… action.” He blows an air horn and we’re off.  
“How easy is this?”  
“Never say that.” I bring up as soon the entire platform is shaking. I manage to somehow keep my balance and get on the monkeybars a bit ahead of Harold. Then stuff comes flying at us, but mainly at the others. I look and see Chef avoiding me. Dad. Then the shaking stops and I manage to get through the bars. The shaking starts again as I hide inside the tunnel for it to stop. Then I hear bubbling and look out the other end of the tunnel to see “lava” which is just tomato soup. It was after I managed to get over the wall that I heard people screaming out in pain. I notice hail-sized golf balls landing by me. Nice one dad. There was a second aftershock as I looked to see the rest of my team, minus Izzy, finally entering the tunnel as the Gaffers were starting to get to the finish line. Then Chef returns to throwing stuff and then Owen gets hit with a very thick book which knocks him back onto the rolling pin.  
“Um, Chris, why doesn’t the crew go over and help him?” Leshawna asked as the film crew arrived and started filming every angle of the hit.  
“Yeah, yeah, as soon as we’re done getting every shot. The good news is, it looks like Owen won the challenge for the Killer Grips.” We cheer. The Gaffers complain as I shoot a wink to an irritated delinquent. “Serious injury trumps all.”  
“You just make the rules up as you go along, don’t you?” I smile as does my dad at Heather.  
“I love my job.”  
An ambulance arrives and takes Owen away.  
“The wounded Owen. What will become of him? Stay tuned to find out.” I giggle as everyone else glares at dad.  
We meet up at a submarine type set over some water as there are two life rafts.  
“How’s Owen doing?” Izzy asked for the upteenth time.  
“Oh, Owen’s fine. A little broken jaw, but it’s all wired shut now. Shouldn’t take more than four to six weeks to heal.”  
“Oh, no. It’s that bad?” Beth asked, concerned.  
“I mean, he’s doing fine.” I giggle at his attempt to fix his words. We all go onto the rafts. “All right, now it’s time for the second disaster-theme challenge. Who’s excited?” I raise my hand as he smiles at me. Everyone else was glaring unamused. “Because of Owen’s win, the grips have the advantage of getting this handy-dandy piece of paper for the second disaster challenge.” He makes it into a paper airplane and it flies over the Gaffers heads as I catch it. I open it and see numbers.  
“What good is a bunch of dumb numbers?” Lindsay asks.  
“It’s most likely a combination.” She nods at me.  
“Okay, everyone get inside.”  
“Are you crazy? I’m not getting inside that tincan.”  
“Not even for a million bucks?” Leshawna gives up and gets in like the rest of us. We were separated by teams as we looked around the sub.  
The alarm starts blaring as I look around.  
“What’s going on?”  
“Who cares? I could stay like this all day.” Beth was in Justin’s arms. He releases her and steps away. I bite my lip fighting a laugh at the scene.  
“For this challenge, you’ve gotta get out before it’s too late.” I get concerned. “Oh, you’ll find out.” One of the others must have asked a question. Soon the lights went out and I was out of commission huddled in a corner shaking as my fear took over.  
“What is that?” Justin asked.  
“I wish my boyfriend were here. He’s a registered lifeguard.”  
“Uh hu, it would be great if he were here. You know what would be even better?”  
“What?”  
“If he existed in the first place!” Izzy yells. “Now let’s get out of this death trap!” Soon a soft glow hits my face and I open my eyes to see a flashlight shining at me. I realize that I’m sitting in water as a tan hand is extended.  
“You’re good now.” I nod to Justin as I take his hand and follow him to the middle.  
“What’s going on? I ask as the water has now reached my waist.  
“There are two exits, the one above us and the one now submerged under the water. The one below us had a combination, which these two fought over and caused us to lose the code.” Izzy explains.  
“Oh, I have it memorized. It’s 2-4-3-9-1-3.” The others blinked in surprise.  
“Okay, anyone got any ideas?” Izzy asked.  
“My boyfriend used to do underwater photo shoots and taught me how to hold my breath for a really long time.” Two days.  
“My agent totally wants me to learn that.” Justin brings up as that wasn’t very helpful.  
“Brady could teach you.” She laughs. “Then I’d have you both to myself.” I blink at Beth.  
“Guys, there’s something here. It might be a way out.” They were motioning to the top and opened it to see a shark.  
“Nope, no good, any other ideas?” The water kept getting higher and higher. I could feel my legs starting to cramp.  
“Where exactly is this combination lock?”  
“Down under.” I nod and dive under the water. I was never the best swimmer and due to my light self it was difficult to dive down, but I managed to get to the bottom and start to spin the lock to get it open. It was as I was putting in the last number that the water drained itself. The other team must have gotten it. I take deep breaths of the air glad to be able to breath again.  
We all get dried up wearing robes, mine was black, around the fire in front of the trailers.  
“Well, that was a pretty exciting day, huh?” I could hear the undertone of concern as his eyes locked with mine for a split second. “Looks like another reward win for the Gaffers. Seems like the Grips are a tad overdue, but I wouldn’t hold my breath.” He chuckles trying to reassure himself as I giggle lightly at the pun. “And now let’s see what the Gaffers have won.” He pulls out a picture. “Oh! An all-expense-paid trip to beautiful British Columbia! That’s right, you’ll be staying at a luxurious inn on the volcano, a charming lodge teetering on the edge of a little-known active volcano on Vancouver Island. To get you there, you’ll be enjoying an exhilarating eight-day hike up the craggy, treacherous…”  
“No, thank you.” Duncan cuts dad off.  
“We’ll just take some chips and pop if that’s ok.”  
“Suit yourselves. More money for my end-of-the-year bonus.” He looks at me and I nod getting the message.  
We meet up after the others have gone to sleep and he pulls me into a hug.  
“I am so sorry. That wasn’t supposed to happen. The lever broke and the water kept getting higher.” He was rambling as he held me tight against his chest.  
“I’m here, it’s okay. I’m here and alive. Everything worked out in the end.” I pat his back trying to soothe him. We remain together for the night.


	37. Military Movie

“Today we’re all about war movies, so look lively you…”  
“Buckets of horse doo-doo!” Chef finishes for dad as we were all on a war film lot. The two were dressed like the military.  
“So get ready for the first death-defying challenge, you…”  
“Disgusting, slimy crustaceans!”  
“Move it, privates. Fall in.”  
“Sir, yes sir!” We all respond as I smile. I go with my team.   
“Okay, people, remove your blindfolds.” We remove the blindfolds to find that we’re in a plane. “When it comes to making a war movie, jumping out of an airplane is the most dangerous stunt there is.” He then opens up the door and a chest of parachutes. “So naturally it’s our first challenge.” Everyone else was shocked as I just smiled. I know it’s just a set. Movie magic and everything.   
“Drop zone approaching. Form a line. It’s time to part-ay.” We get up. “Stunt people undergo weeks of training before they parachute. Luckily we’re going to skip all that and get to the good part: jumping.”  
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Harold asked.  
“What’s the worst that could happen?” I look at dad with an “are you serious” look. You never say that.  
“We die?” Owen asked through the wires.  
“I know. Hilarious. Ha-ha! Time to jump.”  
“There’s only one way off of this big old silver bird and it’s through that door. Let’s dance!” Izzy tries to push Owen towards the door as I go over and pick up one of the parachutes.  
“That’s okay. I just spoke with our research department. There were no parachutes in World War 1.” I giggle handing him my parachute. We share a knowing smile.  
“So, what do we do for a challenge?”  
“Simple.” He kicks the parachutes out the window. The others gasp.  
“Seeya on the other side!” I salute them as I fall backwards out of the plane.  
“Kaylub!” I hear a few of them call as I land on the mattress. Izzy’s the next to jump and she lands next to me. We smile to each other as soon the others come falling out due to Owen jumping for a canister.  
“We’re alive. Woo-hoo!” I roll my eyes at Owen. “It’s good to be alive.”  
“Let’s roll, soldiers, because the second part of this challenge is gonna blow your mind, and everything else within a 50-foot radius.” We leave and arrive in an area where a protective screen blocked us from a building.  
We were in our separate teams as Chef revealed a ton of bombs.  
“Are those paint bombs?” Lindsay asked as Izzy was going ham on the bombs.  
“We’ve divided the camp into two halves. Most creative and controlled splatter wins.”  
“Ok, minions, Admiral Lindsay, her hotness, is about to tell you how this is going to work.” I was intrigued by Lindsay’s new found confidence and the fact that she somehow got a jacket and hat to match her new role. She then looks to Beth and asks something. Owen was down next to them, Justin was chilling in a hammock and Izzy… where did Izzy go?  
“What we need to do is lay the explosives in a wide, interlocking pattern to ensure maximum paint coverage.”  
“What an excellent plan I came up with.” I snort at this. “Ok, snap to it, please.”  
“I’m way too weak to even think about working.” Owen complained as I felt bad for him.  
“And my butt needs it’s beauty rest.” I raise a brow at him as the girls flip him out of the hammock.  
“Admiral Lindsay decrees that you will get up and work on this challenge.”  
“Is it getting hot out here?” Justin takes off his shirt as the girls continue to look unamused. “Now, if you’ll notice, I don’t sport a six-pack. I got 12. That a dozen smokin’ man-dominals.”  
“So you should be more than able to help set up the bombs with those muscles.” I smirk leaning against the tree.  
“Get to work, lazybones.” I giggle watching as Beth leaves.  
“This… This can’t be right. Have I really lost my lady-controlling mojo? Say it ain’t so.” He looks at Lindsay with concern as she’s still unamused.  
“It’s so, Justin.”  
“Time’s up.” Dad appears. “Uh-oh looks like you guys didn’t even get started.” Izzy’s still missing. I thought as she appeared. Speak of the crazy.  
“Not so fast, Senor Chris.” She’s suddenly spanish and has covered the entire building in bombs.  
“Whoa. Now, that’s what I call thorough.” I was suddenly very worried.  
“Izzy, what did you do?” Owen asks.  
“I didn’t do it, Big O. It was my friend, Explosivo. Explosivo is loco for boom-boom!” I’m now even more concerned as dad goes over to the Gaffers first. I receive a wink from Delinquent as I roll my eyes. The explosion goes off and it’s a skull. Well done.  
“Are we ready to blow it up?” Dad returns to our side.  
“Si, si, Explosivo is ready. Unos, dos, boom-boom!” For the longest second there was nothing. Was it a dud?  
“Well, folks, looks like we’re having some technical dif--” It then explodes like a nuke with a mushroom cloud and everything. We get covered in paint.  
“Explosivo is one crazy hombre.”  
“Explosive, yes. Creative and controlled, not so much.” He then goes over to the Gaffers. “The Gafferes are victorious. It’s my honor to present your prize, the big trunk of mind-blowing secrets. You’ll be defending it with your very lives when we return to more “Total Drama Action”.”  
We go and get cleaned up before returning.  
“Contestants, get ready to begin your next war challenge. It’s a giant game of Capture the Flag, except in this case, the flag is the trunk of mind-blowing secrets. There’s only one way to learn what’s in the trunk, and that’s to win the challenge. As your reward, we’ll give you immunity from tonight’s vote and a peek inside. But be ready. The secrets inside will blow your brains to bits.”  
“I need my brain.” Harold mentions.  
“Not to worry. A roll of tape will be provided so you can tape the gray matter back together.”  
We go our separate ways as I’m sitting next to Admiral Lindsay with Beth while the others were lounging around.  
“Admiral Lindsay, what’s going on?” Beth asked as she had the binoculars.  
“Well, Duncan suddenly disappeared and the rest of them are digging a hole for some weird reason.”  
“Let’s attack while they’re unprepared.” I suggest as Lindsay nods.  
“Team, Admiral Lindsay, her hotness, says it’s time we attack.”  
“First, Admiral Lindsay, a suggestion, um, from Explosivo.” Oh no. “He says we make a Trojan taco.” I furrow my brows confused at Izzy.  
“Ooh, I love mexican food.” I face palm at Lindsay.  
“Ok, first we make a giant taco shell five kilometers wide. Then we load it with beef, beans, cheese... “  
“And jalapenos? I like it spicy.”  
“Si. Muy, muy caliente. But the salsa, my friends, the salsa we’ll make from TNT! We bring the Trojan taco to their camp, they take a tasty bite and then boom-boom!” I blink at this idea as it was quiet for a while.  
“People, Admiral Lindsay, her hotness, decrees that although Mexican food is very tasty, we will not be making a Trojan taco.”  
“Admiral Lindsay? Attacking, remember?” I remind her in a soft voice after a moment of pause.  
“We are going to attack! So… let’s go down there and fight.” The guys complain. “Now, listen, peeps, I know you’re frightened of going into battle, but I’m here to say be strong, be fierce, be ferocious. Go and fight for that trunk like it’s Boxing Day and you’re fighting for the cutest pair of yoga pants. Show no mercy!” Got to admit she made a good speech. We all go running down the hill and then stop as the Gaffers have seemingly disappeared.  
“They must have finished the fox hole. Let’s look around. It couldn’t have been far.” The others nod to me as soon we hear farting. We turn to see Harold coming out of a hole in the ground. “Wait!” The others scream charging at them only to get caught in a trap I noticed. Duncan comes swooping down and cuts the line holding them down. Soon my team is flying back to home base. I feel arms wrap around my waist and look up at Duncan’s smirking face.  
“Now what to do with you POW?” I roll my eyes as he smirks.  
“You should check on your team.”  
“Aw, can’t have you going and squealing to your team now can I?” I lean up and plant a kiss to his lips that has him melting into it. It’s enough to allow me to slip out of his grip.  
“See you on the other side of the war.” I walk away leaving the slightly dazed love struck delinquent behind.  
I return to my team in time to hear another attack planned. I decide to lag behind the group this time as they’re taken out by Harold and a toxic green cloud.  
“Time’s up.” Dad ruffles my hair as he passes by. “The Gaffers have defended the chest, putting them in the winner’s circle. That means the Grips will be sending home one of their own tonight. And now it’s time to reveal to the winners the mind-blowing secrets within this trunk. Here’s what you were fighting for, team.” We leave as I know the trunk is empty.  
“This one’s a nail-biter. I’d say no one’s safe tonight. Lindsay, how do you feel about your chances?” We were at the elimination ceremony.  
“Let’s face it, Chris, it was my lousy admiraling that cost us the challenge. If I go home tonight, I won’t blame anyone. Except Beth.” I snort at that.  
“Why me?”  
“I have to blame someone.” I laugh lightly at this.  
“Then there’s Izzy. You overdid it on the first challenge and cost your team an important victory. Will it be your crazy bum sitting in the lame-ousine tonight for a second time?”  
“Explosivo does not answer most questions.”  
“Justin, Beth and Lindsay seem to have kind of left your corner, pretty boy. Are you worried?”  
“No, I never worry. Causes wrinklage.” I roll my eyes. He’s not wrong.  
“All right, then. Votes have been tabulated.” The sheet comes down with a little parachute. “So it’s time to present the awards.” He holds it up to his head and closes his eyes. “Tonight, the gilded Chris goes to Kaylub, Beth, Lindsay, and Owen. And now, only two nominees left.” Justin gets the last Chris as Izzy once again gets the boot.  
I return back to the trailer and get greeted by a cuddly delinquent.   
“Missed you too.”


	38. Bank-Heist Movie

We were at breakfast as the Gaffers were bickering, namely shunning Leshawna who decided to leave.  
“I feel so lucky to be here,” Beth said as I nodded.  
“And I am back on track. My jaw’s unwired and back in business. I can finally eat like normal people. Haha.” He then dumps the entire plate into his mouth.  
“Or like the black hole you are.” I say with a giggle.  
“Sorry you guys, but there’s a great smell coming from Chef’s steamtable and seconds are a-wasted.” He then flips into the kitchen and doesn’t return.  
Dad then appears coming from the roof on a rope.  
“What an entrance.” I agreed with Beth.  
“Consider it a hint to this week’s movie genre.”  
“Is it lame ‘o rock climbing, wanna be host movies?” Duncan guessed unamused.  
“No, this week we’re paying tribute to the action packed bank-heist gangster caper film.”  
“Er, Chris, our team is missing a player.” Justin brings up.  
“So is ours, but we don’t care.”  
“If you really didn’t care you wouldn’t have mentioned it.” I smirk at the glare I was receiving from Heather.  
“Owen and Leshawna are gone, people, because rescuing them is the first part of your challenge.” Beth, Justin, and Lindsay gasp as Duncan then yawns.  
“Oh, pardon me.” I roll my eyes at him with a giggle.  
“They’ve both been locked up in state of the art safes. Along with all the tools each team will need to commit a movie perfect bank robbery. Your job is to crack the safes, rescue your teammates, grab the equipment and try to be the first ones to rob the First National Bank of Chris. Let’s kick it, gangstas.” He then leaves on the rope.  
We meet up in front of two bank vaults. I watch as Harold and Heather start to fight, forgetting that they have a criminal on their team. We share a look as Beth was currently working on our vault.  
“Do you think it’s like cracking an egg?”  
“My boyfriend has a bad habit of cracking his knuckles. Some people say it’s gross. I think it’s kinda adorable, ‘cause it’s him. If this safe were a giant knuckle, I’d know what to do.” I blink at Beth as I return to watching Heather and Harold fight.  
“It’s an expression, ‘crack open’. As in we need to find the combo,” Justin says as I look back over to my team. I’m surprised he could come up with that.  
“Oh. My junior high locker combination. It didn’t change the whole three years I was in grade eight, so it must be standard.” There’s some logic in there mixed in with her rambling. It doesn’t work though. “Oh, well. That’s just bad school spirit.” Justin and I both facepalm.  
“Lindsay, you’re on the right track, but somehow you’re going backwards. We do need a combination and there’s only so many different types for this kind of lock.” I start going through different combinations with my ear pressed against the lock then notice Justin getting really close to my dad. That’s gotta be uncomfortable for him. I know my dad hates being unexpectedly touched, unless it’s me.  
“Justin, come help.” I call out saving him.  
“I tried to get the combo out of Chris, but it didn’t work.”  
“No need. I figured it out.” I smile and motion for them to open the door. It opens and Owen looks hungry. I pull out one of my lollipops, handing it over to Owen, as Justin grabs the gear and we’re moving past the Gaffers. I wink to Delinquent who growls at me.  
Sadly the one lollipop wasn’t enough for Owen as he soon collapsed in a twitching mess.  
“Well, this is interesting.” I pull out all the lollipops I have in my pocket… which was at least 15 and plop them into the black hole that is Owen. He pops back up and we’re good to go… except that we lost the bag along the way.  
We arrive on the bank set as I see a certain brown haired, stuck up, CIT, princess behind the counter looking smug. Oh hell no! I look at my dad with wide eyes as he just looks back apologetic. I then look at Duncan who is looking at Courtney with part glare-part question.  
“Teams, it is my honour,” he strained himself to say. “To report that Courtney is back for the duration of the game.” She waves to Duncan who is now in shock with a hint of fear. “And we’re all exceedingly happy about it.”  
“She was out fair and square.” I say as we exchange glares.  
“Sorry, Child.” I growl at this. “But myself and the law firm of Fleckman and Fleckman, Cohen and Strauss would beg to differ. We filed a wrongful dismissal lawsuit against the producers and won.” Dad looked at me so apologetic that I just shrug.  
“So Courtney, since you are our bank teller in the challenge, great job by the way, you get to decide which team deserves to win first prize. Your bag of loot.” He gives her a small bag.  
“The choice is obvious. It’s Duncan. I mean… the Gaffers. Since they were the only team that managed to get to my wicket.” Duncan goes and retrieves the bag locking eyes with me. “Congratulations.”  
“Thank you.” There was an underlying question in his eyes as his voice was high-pitched. I nod confirming that I was okay… and not going to leave him in the cold due to interacting with… her.  
“So this means that the Killer Grips win second prize.” His eyes were filled with apology. Oh no.   
“What’s second prize?” Justin just had to ask.  
“Courtney!” Why me? “For the rest of the game. Or until she’s eliminated.” We glare at each other as she joins my team’s side. “So Grips, Gaffers, your getaway cars are waiting. Better get a move on before the cops arrive. That means go!” We all race off soon going up to the top of the hill to see dismantled go-karts.  
“What’s all this junk?” Justin asked.  
“These are your getaway cars. Just waiting to be assembled.” Dad arrives in a red sports car.  
“That is so not hot.” I agree with Heather.  
“If the vehicles were ready to go, it wouldn’t be much of a challenge now, would it?” He speeds off as the others groan only to crash. “Oh, crap!” I look over in concern only to see a thumbs up as I sigh in relief.  
I had no idea how to put together a go-kart from scratch and so I was doing what seemed simple. Then I heard a muted scream in pain and looked over to see Duncan gripping his wrist. I raised a brow.  
“Ignore the side show and start putting together the chassis.” I looked to see Courtney talking to Justin. You’re not going to get anywhere with that one.  
“Is there something I can do where I won’t get grease on my epidermis?”  
“You’re kidding right?”  
“Sadly he isn’t. Here I’ll do it.” She looks at me confused then looks around.  
“Where are the others?”  
“Beth and Lindsay are running away from Owen who thinks they’re food. So, while I don’t like you, and obviously you don’t like me, we’re the only competent one’s on this team. So just work with me here.” She sighs as we both get to work. “Justin, try to help Beth and Lindsay get Owen under control.” He nods and heads off. We then hear an engine hum to life and the Gaffers go by.  
“Hey, Courtney, maybe you’ll get to see more than just the back of me when the teams merge.” He winks at me as I glare at him without any malicious intent.  
“Where are our wheels? Where is our team?”  
“Here we are!” Beth annonces to Courtney’s question. “We had to rewire his jaw shut with my spare hair elastics. But that’s the good news.”  
“And the bad?” I ask worried.  
“These are toast.” Lindsay shows the fried wheels. Owen reacts to the mention of food only to get slapped.  
“No wheels does not mean it’s over for us. We are going to have to improvise.” We build the body of the car and much like a child’s first car. We’re using our feet to propel it.  
“Move it you deadbeats. The teams aren’t called ‘The Gaffers’ and ‘The Slackers’. Now move. Mush mush.”  
“Mush? We’re not sled dogs.”  
“Of course you aren’t, because if you were, this one would have eaten you.” I had to admit she wasn’t wrong. Owen probably would have eaten the others… starting with Beth.  
We were gaining on the Gaffers who appeared to have stopped. We pass by them as I wave to Duncan.  
“I knew I could win this. Even with a team of complete duds.” We all glare at her. “Faster! Faster!” It was at this moment that the car falls apart and traps us right before the finish line. “Ah! I will not be second place.” We come in second place as the Gaffers push the cart past the finish line.  
“Wanna bet?” My dad smirked. “First off, I’d like to congratulate both teams for choosing to go green. But in the end, The Gaffers are the winners.” They cheer. “That means I’ll be seeing The Grips at tonight’s ‘Gilded Chris’ ceremony. And Gaffers, even though you committed the anything but perfect crime, you get to enjoy victory. And your bag of loot.” I sigh once again going to the elimination ceremony.  
“The time has come.” I notice the four statues instead of five. Two people? “Like always, Killer Grips, one member of your team will not be receiving a coveted Gilded Chris, made of the finest Belgian chocolate.” Owen breaks the bands hitting Courtney in the eye. Karma. I smile. “But not like always, and this is important to remember, this week, according to our lawyers, none of you are allowed to vote off Courtney.” That’s why there’s only four. She has immunity. “You got that, dudes? This show can’t afford any more lawsuits. My massage budget has been sliced in half.” I still voted for her.  
Chef arrives by being lowered in delivering the results.  
“Gilded Chris awards go to… Beth, Lindsay, Justin, Owen… why do I have five votes to boot out Courtney when I specifically said you couldn’t?” I shrug.  
“I guess we couldn’t help ourselves.”  
“No matter what, my finger would only press the Courtney button.” I smile at these lovable idiots.  
“Well, that leaves us with one vote that counts.”  
“Child, you’ve been eliminated.” I stand and put my hands in my pockets. The others cry out in disarray. I walk by the stage and stop before my dad. He held an apologetic look.  
“Sorry, kid, no chocolate Chris award for you.” I sigh upset that I missed out on chocolate.  
“Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech!” The others called out as I giggled at them.  
“He’s been eliminated, guys. Hello?”  
“Anything in your contract to stop him from speaking?”  
“Um. No but…”  
“Then, a little light for my friend here.” I get a spotlight and giggle.  
“I’d like to thank the Academy of the Gilded Chris.”  
“Trademark patented and all mine.”  
“This has been the role of a lifetime. I’d like to thank Lindsay and Justin for showing me that brains and beauty can co-exist, maybe not all the time… or in the correct way, but it’s still there and you both amaze me. To Beth who’s boyfriend may or may not exist. And Owen who’s black hole of an appetite never ceases to amaze me. And finally Chris, for allowing me to shine brighter than ever imagined. I’ll miss you all, good night and farewell.” I give a wave and a bow.  
“We love you, Kaylub!” I hear them shout as I strut away to the Lame-osine. Once I was assured by the camera crew that we were done filming, I went back and freed Leshawna from the safe.  
“Thanks, Sugar-pie. Let’s get back to the others.” I stop in my tracks as she looks back at me. “What’s up?”  
“I’ve actually been voted off. Blame Courtney… by the way she’s back in the competition due to her suing. I’m sure you’ll be filled in on the details.”  
“Aw, well we’re gonna miss you.”  
“Beat her bum if you’re given the chance.”  
“Will do, Sugar-pie.” With that I leave for Dad’s room.


	39. Period Movie

Finally free from the confines of the game, dad and I were chilling on the bed in his hotel room, watching some baking show where people who had never baked before were trying to replicate perfect baked goods done by professionals. It was entertaining as we shared laughs over some of the people’s ridiculous creations. We even placed bets on who we thought was going to win.  
“How are you so good at this?” Dad asked as I won the third time in a row. I shrug.  
“Best to not ask. I can just tell.” He glared at me as I smiled. Then the alarm goes off.  
“Welp, guess we’ll continue this later. Shall we?” I raise a brow confused. He blinks realizing I wasn’t following and then laughs. “Right, I forgot to mention. You’re now posing as an intern. The fans got so upset with your elimination that they were planning on suing. As you know, the show can’t take any more lawsuits, so we’re hoping this will appease the fans until we can find a way to fully bring you back into the game.” I shake my head.  
“Am I really that popular?” He pulls out his phone and shows me a popularity poll of the cast with me in a dominating lead over pretty much everyone else. I blink in surprise. “But I hardly do anything.”  
“You’re cute.”  
“Dad.” I whine as he chuckles.  
“It’s true, most of the comments mention that’s why they voted for you.” I blush lightly and go over to the door.  
“Well, shall we?” He chuckles.  
“Let’s go intern.” He walks ahead of me as I follow. This is going to be interesting.   
Dad blows into a prehistoric foghorn as we’re both wearing matching cheetah loincloths. He laughs loving his foghorn as I smile.  
The cast arrived as they all seemed surprised by my presence.  
“Is that boy wearing a loincloth?” Leshawna asks as Dad smirks.  
“Like it?” I see Duncan smirking. I blush at his hungry eyes.  
“But he was voted off!” Courtney cries out with a glare. Dad laughs and then smirks.  
“Well, you see Kaylub’s contract is a little different from yours. He was originally just meant to intern last season after he wasn’t accepted to be a contestant, but the producers and I decided that it would be more entertaining to have him compete with the rest of you. Now that he’s been voted off he’s now an intern again. So you’ll be seeing him around wherever I go. Now… let’s get started!”  
“Wait, we’re forgetting a few formalities.” I smirk at Courtney.  
“Right, thanks to Courtney’s lawsuit, she’ll be playing by a different set of rules,” Dad said, pissed that he had to do this.  
“You said there are no rules.” Duncan brings up.  
“There are when you have a good lawyer.”  
“Intern, let’s get this over with.” I hand dad a book I had behind my back. He clears his throat obviously peeved. “Rule One: Notwithstanding that contestants are not permitted contact with the outside world, the contestants hereafter referred to as ‘Courtney’ may retain a personal digital assistant, a.k.a. her PDA.”  
“What? That’s so not fair! I’m the one with the boyfriend!”  
“Care to take that up with our legal department, Beth… huh?” Chef was dressed as a judge and turned the podium he was using to dust. “Didn’t think so. “Rule Two: Whereas contestants shall continue to receive allocated meals provided by Chef Hatchet, Courtney shall be entitled to a gourmet dining experience with parties consisting of producers and myself, as applicable”. I hope you like lobster.” The others were instantaneous in their complaining and hating on Courtney. Dad and I were both smiling. “Let’s see your lawyers get you out of this one.”  
“What?! I’m still sleeping in the girls’ trailer.”  
“Where she will have a pure goose down pillow, extra-lofty comforter, and 700 thread count sheets.”  
“Oh! And her own... private… bathroom.” We were both stroking the flames of drama within the contestants. It was fun.  
“Those are the new rules.” He tosses the book as I catch it. “Let’s call them… “Courtney’s Rules”... in honor of Courtney… who gets special treatment…”  
“And an unfair advantage.” We were both smiling like the chaos bringers we are.  
“Nice. Our spoiled princess didn’t waste any time hooking herself up.”  
“And you didn’t waste any time hooking up with Gwen after I left!”  
“While I’m touched you’re obviously still hot for me, I’m still firmly loyal to Kaylub over there.”  
“You’re on TV! Everyone knows you cheated on him, again, for a girl, again!”  
“Well, then the whole world knows that at least I play by the rules…” He remembers he’s a delinquent. “Most of the time. What, don’t think you can win the million bucks fair and square?”  
“I could kick your two-timing butt with my eyes closed and both hands tied behind my back!”  
“Gonna be pretty tough to eat lobster like that.” Both growl at each other while dad and I share a look.  
“While I’m lovin’ this show of hostility, I think today’s challenges will help bring out your more… primal instincts. Today’s genre: The period movie!”  
“Ooh! I love period movies! All the pretty petticoats and dresses with puff sleeves.” Wrong period Beth.  
“Do we get wigs?”  
“Chef, do we have a wig?” Chef tosses this red wig with a bone in it over to Heather.  
“It smells like raw meat.” I smile.  
“That’s because our period is the Paleolithic period. Which I though you dumb-dumbs might have guesed from our… loincloths.” You expect too much dad.   
“Paleo-lipstick? Is that a new brand.” Probably.  
“It’s the Stone Age. We’re going to be cavegirls.” Beth clears up for Lindsay.  
“No talking. Cave people only grunted and look confused, which means, for once, you’re all perfectly cast.” I giggle at this.  
“As much as I want hair, I am not putting that sick thing on my head!”  
“No prob. You look savage already.” I smirk taking the wig.  
“Wait!” Heather takes it back as Dad and I nod.  
“Okay! Cave people in prehistoric flicks do two things: make fire and use tools made out of bones. Technically, you should also know how to bring down a mammoth with a stick, but producers have told me that hunting Owen was out, so no challenge. Here are your costumes. Get into character, people!”  
“You’ve got to be kidding.” I smirk at Duncan.  
“I never kid.” We share a laugh. “Actually, I do, but never about something this funny.”  
“You’ll look perfect, Duncan. You’re already a total Neanderathal.” He was about to rebuttal to Courtney, but I smack him in the face with his loincloth. He glares at me as I give him a playful wink with my tongue sticking out and walked away with dad.  
“Hello, cast. Nice to see you all decked out for the competition. And might I say you all look pre-hysterical!” We returned where everyone was wearing loincloths.  
“Who knew I’d look hot in leopard skin.” Harold was admiring himself.  
“Ow! I think mine still has it’s claws.” They’re fake. Heather then tries to cut Courtney’s hair, but instead goes for the tag.  
“Chef, the tools for the first Stone Age challenge, please!” Chef hands out rocks.  
“Rocks? Aren’t we taking this Stone Age thing a little too literally?”  
“Shows how much you know, Duncan. Rocks are an awesome resource. Inuit hunters use them to build inukshuks, plus they make a great paperweight.” Duncan then tosses his rock onto Harold’s foot. “Oww! That hurt!”  
“What do you know? Rocks are useful.” I giggle at this.  
“First team to collect the hidden firewood and use the “flint stones” to make fire earns something to help ‘em with the second challenge. Ready? And… action!” The teams go racing off.  
“Chef, Duncan.” I get a nod as he goes and picks up the delinquent only to reveal he’s not wearing any underwear. I blush and look away.  
“Help! It’s after me!” I look and share a laugh with dad as Harold is being chased by a woolly tusked Beaver.  
“Looks like Harold found the wooden beaver dam on the set of Rodents who Kill.” He then comes running by again with more beavers following him.  
“And Rodents who Kill, Part Two.” The three of us were smiling.  
“Those killer beavers are animatronic, right?”  
“Animatronic?”  
“Of course!” Dad winks at the camera. We share looks.  
“That’s it, keep those knees up!” Duncan calls out as Harold keeps running.  
I head off to go grab dad and I some water and soon I return to see that the teams still haven’t created fire.  
“Things are finally heating up.” He nods to me as we sip our water. The two teams cheer for Duncan and Courtney respectively as those were the two currently trying to make fire. “I love it when sparks fly.”   
I watch as Duncan then pulls out a lighter and sets the wood on fire. The Gaffers cheer as I notice Justin and Owen aren't around.  
“I make fire!” Duncan celebrates like a caveman.  
“Courtney! I thought for sure you’d be the first to burst into flames. Gaffers win the first challenge!”  
“Uhh! You obviously gave me fake flints! Nobody can start a fire with these ridiculous props!” She throws them at me and I clash them together causing fire to appear.  
“Fire!” Lindsay calls as I smile.  
“Ooh… gah!” She storms off.  
Dad blows into his foghorn as we move to the second challenge location. Which was in front of two pillars in the middle of a tar pit.  
“Yep, still lovin’ this crazy thing.” I smile at him. “Time for our second caveman movie challenge! But first, Chef will pass out your rewards from this morning. Chef, weapons please!” He reveals a stack of bones.  
“Excuse me? Our reward is bones?” Leshawna asked.  
“For cavemen, this was cutting edge technology.” I bring up as dad nods.  
“And they’re not your reward.” Chef gives small bones to the Gaffers and big bones to the Grips.  
“Hey, what gives? We won the challenge. I made fire.”  
“With a lighter, which didn’t exist back then. So you didn’t create fire.” I smirk at the growling Duncan.  
“Which means the Grips are the winners!” They cheer.  
“Well, well, Duncan “I-play-by-the-rules” cheated. Big surprise.”  
“He did say most of the time.” Courtney growls at me.  
“The props department for caveman films are bare-bones.” I giggle at the pun. “Which means these are all actors have to fight their on-screen enemies with.” He was holding a small bone.  
“And who might these enemies be?” We share a look at Leshawna’s question.  
“Why, each other…”  
“Of course!” He finishes tossing the bone away. “Grip tribe versus Gaffer tribe.”  
“Wait, the Grips have one more person then us.” Heather complained.  
“That’s why Kaylub is going to be a Gaffer for this challenge.” I’m handed a small bone as I sigh.  
“Cool… we have to fight each other with bones?” I block Courtney’s attack on Duncan with my small bone and we glare at each other.  
“I like your enthusiasm, you two. Only you’ll be fighting over there.” He points to the tar pit. “Each player that knocks his or her opponent off the column into that fake bubbling tar pit scores a point for their team. To the tar pits!”   
Leshawna and Lindsay were up first as Lindsay was knocked off due the vibrations of the foghorn. I cheer with the Gaffers.  
“That’s one point for the Gaffers! Next up, Beth and Heather.” Then there’s the roar of pterodactyls as a swarm comes in and circles the platforms. “Uh oh! Looks like Lindsay’s blood curdling screams have attracted a swarm of prehistoric pterodactyls! This should make things interesting.” I smile.  
Beth and Heather stand up there, but Heather falls due to a pterodactyl taking her wig. I cheer along with Leshawna.  
“Hey, whose team are you on, anyway?” He asks us as I kiss his cheek.  
“Yours.”  
“And hers. But it’s a kind of lose-win, no?” Leshawna and I share a high-five.  
“And that evens the score at one-all for the Grips and the Gaffers! Now up, Owen and Duncan!”  
It was easy to see who would win as Owen knocked Duncan off. I help him out as he smiles at me.  
“That’s the lead for the Grips. Next up, Justin and Harold!”  
Justin poses before the battle begins and Harold dodges expertly. Then the beavers return.  
“Don’t blow this Harold! They’re not real beavers!” Yeah they are. “Just don’t go and lose this challenge for us! Beavers can’t swim through tar!” They do so as I look at Duncan.  
“Their teeth are the size of railroad spikes!”  
“You’ll be okay, baby!”  
“Don’t be a wimp! The columns are plaster not wood, and beavers can’t climb!” They prove him wrong again as I bust out laughing. “I guess my knowledge of prehistoric beavers is a little rusty.”   
The piller breaks and the beavers leave. My eyes are covered by Duncan as Harold takes Justin’s loincloth causing the two to go falling into the pit. Dad laughs.  
“That… was awesome! Would have preferred to see some beaver carnage, but you can’t have everything. Anyways that leaves the Grips in the lead… and us with a grudge match between Kaylub and Courtney! On the same column. You just can’t write this stuff.”  
“Don’t get too hyped. Kaylub won’t last more than two seconds.”  
“We’ll see.”   
We end up on the column together as she’s holding onto me. I blink as soon the foghorn sounds. I duck under her bone and the momentum of her missed swing has her falling over me and off the column. You were saying? I then feel her grab a hold of my ankle draggin me off the column as I grab hold of the edge.  
“If I’m going down… I’m taking you with me.” I growl and try to shake her off. Then I remember that this is a reward challenge and technically I’m not in the competition anymore.  
“Okay.” I let go and relish in her screams as we both plop into the tar. Duncan helps me out as we smile at each other.  
“Well, I’d say the Gaffers had a better chance at the million B.C.-- B.C. “before Courtney”. As for the Grips, they win today’s reward! A mammoth-sized prehistoric barbecue!” They cheer as Owen cheers the loudest. “Don’t worry… the Grips may have won today’s reward, bet we’re not gonna let the Gaffers go hungry.” He tosses Harold an egg.  
“A pterodactyl egg?”  
“Should be enough for four. You do have fire.” Their fire goes out. “Maybe if you’re lucky the Grips’ll throw you a bone when they’re done.” They get excited only for the barbecue to go into the tar pit. I giggle at the misfortune. “Look on the bright side. You still have your bones. You could use ‘em to hunt for dinner.” The Gaffers laugh but then a pterodactyl cries out. “Uh, Harold. I think the pterodactyl wants its egg back.” The pterodactyl attacks Harold.  
Heather finally gets out of the pit and attacks the bird… killing it.  
“Probably tastes like chicken,” dad says as we were all in shock. “Speaking of chicken, tonight’s surf and turf! Shall we?”  
“Let’s shall.” Chef says as we all head to eat. Courtney was surprised I was joining them. It was a simple ‘in my contract’ to shut her up.


	40. Sports Movie

The acceptance of my role as intern was great, but many were still pissed at Courtney’s hand in voting me off. I had seen that the firm that her lawyers work for was getting some serious fire. Dad and I enjoyed the flames.  
“Why do I have to wear this?” I asked as I was dressed as a cheerleader, pompoms and all.  
“Interns don’t question costumes.” I pouted, but he knew I wasn’t really mad as I actually enjoyed wearing a skort for once.  
“Morning sports fans. Who’s ready to put up a good offense?” I arrived with dad, who was a one man band, to see everyone in their PJ’s. Duncan looked like he was having a hard time concentrating as his eyes were trained on me.  
“Spaghetti here! Get your pippin hot spaghetti here!” Chef starts tossing balls of spaghetti at the others as I notice Heather still wearing the wig.  
“That was breakfast.”  
“Pasta for brekkie?” Lindsay asked as I suddenly felt two stares on me. I look and see that Justin had joined in staring at me.  
“It’s called carbo-loading, contestants! Today you’re all going to give 200% in our exciting sports movie challenge!”  
“You are aware that 200% is a mathematical impossibility?”  
“Hit him again.” I whisper to Chef who nods, throwing another one at Harold. I smile.  
“Suck that ‘ghetti back, you lovable underdogs destined to come back from certain failure. We’ve got a training run!” We both leave as Owen downs another ball of spaghetti.  
“That all you got, sports fans?!” Dad changed out of his band outfit as I’m forced to remain in my uniform. We have the contestants run laps around the football field set. “Man up. It’s time for more action!” They were all exhausted as Owen and Leshawna were on the ground.  
“Three cups of spaghetti followed by a 3K jog? All I’m ready for is a nap.” Leshawna curls up on the turf. “What is this, plastic lawn?”  
“Astroturf actually.”  
“It’s a set. Today’s competition is gonna require sweat, guts, heart, and sweat.”  
“You said “sweat” twice.” Heather brings up as both Leshawna and Owen were back on their feet.  
“That’s ‘cause it’s not just your sweat you’ll be deathing with! There’s Chef’s sweat, too…” Chef’s doing jumping jacks which are working up a worse sweat. “‘Cause you’ll be pushing him the length of the field. And he just ate a huge jar of jalapeno peppers, so he’s spraying like a gym-class shower.”  
“We gotta push spiced-up Chef like he’s a football dummy?!” Justin asked, finally not looking at me.  
“Don’t call me dummy!”  
“Uh, I am not swapping sweat with an overgrown jalapeno.”  
“You’re taking it for the team. Now get your skinny behind out there and push that dummy!” Leshawna snapped at Heather.  
“What’d I say about that “dummy” thing?!”  
“You can do this one without me.”  
“Gotta side with Leshawna on this one. You’re doing it.” Duncan also finally stopped staring at me.  
Dad and I stood on the bleachers as the Gaffers started us off.  
“That all you got?! I could push better than that on my day off.”  
“Don’t you talk smack to me!” Leshawna gets scary and pushes Chef all on her own, knocking him over. “Sorry, dummy. Guess I came to play hardball.”  
The Grips get stuck in small tiers and dad introduces them to the mousetraps.  
“Snap to it losers!” I giggle.  
Next they were going through mud under barbed wire. Dad and I were leaning against the scoreboard poles.  
“I’ve never seen our school football team do this.”  
“You’re right. But we had some leftover mud and barbed wire left over from the war movie, and it just seemed fun to me. Is it?” They all groaned and that was a yes to our ears.  
“That truly bit.” I smirk with a wink to my muddy boyfriend who glared at me. They had finished and were all standing together.  
“Who won, anyway?”  
“Let’s see, uh...” I hand dad a clipboard with just some random papers on it. “Three, carry the five… nobody!”  
“Huh?” I giggle.  
“It was just to establish who’s playing who for the real contest to follow. We’re running five sport-o contests, with competitors seeded according to these results.” I was up against Owen, despite not actually doing the exercises.  
“Seeded? There’s a gardening challenge?!” I blink at Lindsay.  
“Wait, why is Kaylub competing, again?” Courtney complains as I notice she’s battling Duncan.  
“Once again it seems we have unbalanced teams and a useful person. So again, Kaylub will be competing for the Gaffers. It’s either that or have Owen, who came in last, sit out and that isn’t entertaining or painful.” She shuts up with a glare at me.  
We all went to the first challenge, which was in a boxing ring as dad was dressed like the announcer/ref.  
“In the right corner… from the Killer Grips… the blond bombshell, the lithe lollapalooza, the blue-eyed bruiser, Lindsaaaaay!” He was mimicking an echo when needed. “And in the left corner… from the Screaming Gaffers... the deluded dork, the lightweight loser, the knock-kneed numbskull… Haroooooold!”  
“Me? Why me?”  
“Because, besides Owen, you and Lindsay came in last in the football drills. Loser verses loser. We’re going to build up to the top two players and then have Owen and Kaylub compete.”  
“Glove me.” Dad puts huge marshmallows onto Harold's hands.  
“But these are marshmallow.”  
“Props, so you don’t hurt those pretty actor faces. And in true boxing movie tradition, you’ll be fighting in… sloooow motioooon.” He says in slow motion. I activate the crowd cheering and ring the bell as dad is taken out of the ring by the mic he was using. He comes and sits with me.  
The two enter with the marshmallow gloves. Harold is doing the slow motion community proud, while Lindsay’s just being normal. I notice that Beth has Courtney’s PDA, and nudge my dad pointing in her direction. He chuckles and finds it amusing.  
“Round two…” Chef holds up a two sign wearing a bikini. The others are disgusted and scared as I respect him. I ring the bell and we start up again.  
Harold continues the slow motion even as he’s knocked out by Lindsay.  
“One, two, three…”  
“Get up, Harold!” Leshawna calls out as dad speed counts the rest of the numbers.  
“And the winner is… Harold and the Screaming Gaffers!” They cheer.  
“Huh? But I knocked him out!”  
“He scored a bunch of extra points for doing such great slow-motion. And I had to dock you for biting. Very unsportsmanlike, Ms. Tyson.”  
“This was fixed! Ref’s going down!” Justin and Courtney are both holding her back as I give a glare her way.   
“Easy there, tiger.” We returned outside as a large badminton table was set up.  
“Hey, it’s a miniature tennis racquet! Where are the miniature tennis balls? And how come the net is so stupidly high?”  
“This is a badminton court, Justin.” Dad, Chef, and I walk onto set.  
“There was never a sports movie about badminton. That’d be seriously lame.”  
“Intern?” He looks at me as I sigh.  
“Yes, there actually was and our beloved, and very talented host starred in it as the coach.”  
“I’d love to re-create my finest scene.” I hid the smile I had behind an unamused look. I actually enjoyed anything my dad starred in. He walks away and gets into character. “I just want you to know, you guys are the best darn badminton players I’ve ever had the pleasure of coaching. You’re beacons of freedom! Go show the Olympic committee we deserve a shot! Show them it’s not badminton. It’s good-minton! Heck, it’s great-minton!! Now get out there and win one for the Flipper!” I pat Chef’s back as he cried over the delivery.  
“Battling for supremacy in our second round, Beth and Heather!” Dad was sitting in a high ref chair as I sat in a ball boy chair next to him.  
“Me against her? Piece of cake!” Heather was confident as dad pulled out a stuffed bird.  
“Watch the birdie!”  
“Feathers are about to fly.”  
“You can do it, Beth!” I look at Courtney to see her on her PDA.  
Beth goes to hit the birdie, but then it squeaks, scaring her.  
“It’s alive.” I go and pick it up.  
“It’s a squeaker toy.”  
“Serve to Heather.” I hand her the birdie and take my seat.  
Heather gets a point and her team cheers her on. The two pass back the birdie as the Gaffers cheer on Heather only for Leshawna to mess up calling Beth’s boyfriend fake. That’s when the tides turn and Beth wins with a 21-1.  
“We have a winner!” She’s lifted up by Owen as her team surrounds her. “Now that’s some great-minton!”  
“You might have game, girl, but you still don’t have a boyfriend.” I shake my head at Leshawna as dad smiles knowing drama’s coming.  
“You just resent me for being a champion baton twirler! Just like you resent everybody here!”  
“Excuse me?”  
“Why don’t you admit it? Or should we have Courtney play what you said about all of us on her PDA?”  
“I told you to stay away from my PDA!” Not now Courtney.   
“It’s on the Total Drama website, Leshawna! Everything you said about us when you went on that spa night!” Dad and I share a look while the others gasp.  
“Ooh… the underdog’s about to take a bite out of her rival. This can’t end well. Don’t go away, there’s plenty of sports-themed backstabbing fun to come on Total Drama Action!” The others gather around Courtney.  
“You said mean things about me?” Lindsay asked.  
“Lemme see, lemme see!”  
“No!”  
“Come on, Courtney, you know you wanna.” Duncan baited her as he slings an arm around me.  
“Only because I think you all have the right to know what she said.” We all gather around.  
/”I’ve already seen it, and I’m quite surprised there’s really nothing bad about me.” I shrug with a smile.\  
“There’s nothing to see. You guys’ll get bored.” She deflates realizing she lost the fight.  
“Ooh, Heather, mmph! Just mean for the sake of being mean. Lindsay has half a brain cell, max. And it’s usually gone out shopping. Ooh, ooh, probably with Justin's giant ego and Owen’s bottomless stomach, ha-hoo! Oh, Duncan likes to think he’s a bad boy, but whenever Kaylub is around, that boy has him wrapped around his petite finger. Beth actually wears a side ponytail. A side pony! And Harold? Darn fool’s sweet on me. But he’s getting about as much play as an old-school cassette tape in a world of MP3s!” Both bust out laughing and Courtney cuts the video. Everyone else glares at her as I just fake it.  
“You don’t understand, that was outside the game. I didn’t know anyone would see it!” Wrong choice of words. Dad appears beside her.  
“So you weren’t joking? I thought maybe you were joking.” Sweet Lindsay.  
“Uh, yes! I was. And I wanted you to see it! Yeah, isn’t that a riot?” She laughs as I shake my head with a smile. “Psych!”  
I separate from Duncan as we go to the next location. I get dressed up with dad in togas.   
“Silence.” Dad is on the chariot while Chef is pulling, wearing a gladiator helmet, and I’m right beside him. “The score is one to one! And now, second seed Courtney will attempt to break the tie, competing in Greco Roman wrestling with… Duncan!” Dad rolled his r’s all the way to the end.  
The two entered the ring as Courtney started to stretch in her workout outfit which was booty shorts and a sports bra. Duncan only had shorts on.  
“Just compete, just compete, just compete.” Dad and I share a look as he drops a ball pit onto the two. “Wait, wait, wait a second, I have to wrestle her in a kiddie ball pit?” Coutney comes up and spits out a ball. I smile at that.  
“Eww! How long since these things have been washed?”  
“Never! We got them from a local carnival. A really cheap, skeevy one. Now play ball!” Dad blows into a horn.  
Instantly the two dive in only for Courtney to come out on top.  
“What’s a matter big boy? Can’t swim?”  
“Ah! Shark!” I blink as Courtney pulls out a diaper shark.  
“Ooh, the big bad diaper shark.” she shoves it into his mouth. “Come on, tough man!” We all laugh at this. He pops back up alone and spits out the diaper.  
“That’s it! No more Mr. Nice Guy.” He summons her and she kicks him pinning him down with his arms above him. He looks away from her and we make eye contact. He pushes her off and then goes after her only to resurface with a baby bottle. “What lives under here anyway, a day care center?” He then pulls up a child.  
“Mama?” Chef comes in and takes the child away as I look at dad. We both share wide eyed looks. Duncan then says uncle.  
“And we have a winner!”  
“In your face Duncan! I am the world champion ball wrestler!”   
We all meet back up at the football field. I change back to my cheerleading outfit as we enter the set.  
“So, as we head into the fourth leg of the Total Drama sports tourney, the Grips are ahead, two to one. A slam-dunk competition, with points going to the most creative dunk. Let’s play it for the camera! It’s Justin and Leshawna!”  
The Grips cheer for Justin while Harold spits out insults to Leshawna starting with Le-.  
“All right, I call this the Justin freezes the Gaffers slam.” He goes around the team insulting each of them then flirts with me, which pisses off Duncan, before taking Heather’s wig and dunking the ball. His team cheers.  
“See, there’s just telling it like it is, and then there’s just being a big ol’ jerk.” She gives Heather back her wig. “I call this the Leshawna climbs to the top, wham-bam-thank-you slam!”  
“Real creative.” She throws it at Justin causing him to go flying into the hoop. I bite my lip but smile.  
“Point to Leshawna and the Gaffers! Prepare for the ultimate extreme sports tiebreaker!”  
Dad appears on the screen.   
“Get ready for the battles of battles, the grudge match the world has been waiting for, a competition so intense, so grueling, so…”  
“So what is it, already?!” Dad and I ride in on a golf cart with pom-poms.  
“Pom-poms?”  
“Where there are pom-poms, there are pom-pom girls.” I roll my eyes at Harold.  
“The only cheering will be done by Kaylub and Owen for their respective teams. Each team’s gotta dig deep and create a cheer for someone they think deserves cheering. And then our two cheerleaders will perform for me, the judge.” Owen was also in a cheerleading uniform that somehow fit.  
The Grips were in a circle as I looked at my “team”.  
“Let’s cheer for Norbert Swindlow!”  
“Who?” Heather questioned.  
“The inventor of the pom-pom? Duh.”  
“I say we cheer for me.”  
“No.” Heather puffed.  
“Hey, while we’re fighting, they’re working on whipping our butts!”  
“Time!” Dad appears beside me holding pom-poms. “Gaffers up!” He hands me the pom-poms. Time for a little improv.  
“Chris is smart, Chris is talented, Chris is the host who has our hearts.” I smiled as I did a flip and landed before him. He claps proud of the suck up.  
“Owen?”  
“Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris…” He repeats that for a while and produces a poster with dad on it.  
“Wow, a battle of sucking up. If it wasn’t for the fact that I know the Gaffers didn’t come up with anything, they would have won. Congratulations, Grips. Losers, I’ll see you at the theater.”  
“Why?” I was patching up dad after he got punched by Chef for the outro.  
“Entertainment.” I shake my head applying a bit more pressure then needed to show my annoyance.


	41. Spy Movie

Knocking Delinquent out with a blowdart was fun, but watching my dad knock Courtney out with a bowl hat was definitely the highlight of the start of the challenge. Though watching Justin freak out after Beth elbowed him in the eye was entertaining to say the least.  
I cued dad when I got the camera rolling for the next part of the challenge. He starts off by laughing maniacally while petting a white cat and wearing an eyepatch.  
“Welcome to the cloak-and-dagger world of spy movies, man and woman.” He was talking in a butchered Jamaican accent.  
“Dude, what’s with the bad Jamaican accent?” Thanks Duncan for picking up on that.  
“Jamaican? More like Japanese.” He looked at me as they argued over what the accent sounded like.  
‘Duncan’s right.’ I mouth to him as he pouts.  
“Um, hellooo? It’s Russian, and I should know, because I am an act-or!” Really? I give dad a look and he gives me a quick glare. “Any good spy in any good spy movie must have three essential skills. One, the ability to deactivate a bomb. Two, the ability to escape an exploding building. And three, the ability to fake an accent that makes people believe you actually speak the language. Like my fab Russian accent, mahn.” I shake my head at him. “You need two of the three skills to get through today’s reward challenges. Can you guess which two? Let me give you a hint. Not the third one, mahn.” He laughs once again. The others converse as Duncan jabs at Harold while he bites back.   
“Oh, and one last thing. Since I’m really ho-hum bored of the teams, I’m busting ‘em up! From now on, it’s every dude and dudette for themselves. I’ll see you back on solid ground. Let the Double-0-Sevening begin!” We cut the camera and turn to watch the cams.  
“I know you can actually do a Russian accent, so what was with the terrible jamacan one?” I ask as he shrugs.  
“Thought it would be entertaining.” I shrug and we return to watching.  
“I know this seems bad.” I look to dad to see him holding rope. I look into his eyes and see the internal struggle over tying me up. I smile and place a hand on his.   
“I’m fine, we both know that it’s just for a challenge and I’m not going to get hurt in any way.” We share a moment of silence as I see the conundrum being solved in his eyes. I nod and we head to the room where the next challenge was going to be. I sat in the chair and he tied me up, it wasn’t tight, but it also wasn’t loose enough that I could slip out of it.  
“Is that good?” I nod as he places a bag in my hand. “Okay, these are the items that will aid in the next part of the challenge.” He then leaves placing a gag over my mouth.  
The others finally arrive and take a look around the room before Duncan sees me tied up in the middle. I see his eyes widen in concern. Dad appears in front of me on his screen. He looked to me really quick and then to the others.  
“Don’t I look awesome in blue?” That’s to make it seem like he wasn’t just checking on me. “Now, for the first part of the spy movie challenge. See our intern in the middle of the room? You have to free him, ‘cause you’re gonna need him, or more so what he has, for part two of the challenge.”  
“No problemo.” Duncan starts to walk forward. Instantly the lasers activate.   
“I need to finish. You gotta set him free without setting off the alarm. But be careful. Those lasers’ll cut you clear in half.” I’d admit I was impressed with how quick Duncan got through the lasers.  
“Hey, so what do I get for freeing you?” He unties me and notices the bag. The lasers deactivated the second he untied me. I pull down the gag.  
“The chance to live.” and a quick peck on the cheek. I hand him the bag as the others gather around.   
“A grappling gun and wire cutters?”  
“To escape a building that’s about to blow?!” Quick work Leshawna.  
“The room blows in ten… nine… eight…” Everyone started screaming as I just stood there calmly. Though, I did glare at Courtney grabbing onto Duncan. Dad finishes the countdown and blows a raspberry. “Suckers!” He laughs as I smile. “You should have seen the looks on your faces!”  
“Oh, come on!” Duncan pushes Courtney off him. I smile at him.  
“You’ll need the zip wire gun and the wire cutters for the next spy challenge. Whether Duncan, our little speed saver, chooses to share his tools with the tools is totally up to him. Oh, by the way… the first countdown was just a test. The real countdown begins now!” Dad starts counting down from 30. I start walking over to the exit.  
“Uhh! What makes everyone think Chris is serious this time?”  
“Maybe the fact that the intern is currently trying to leave as well?” Leshawna brings up as I open the way out.  
“Delinquent?” He comes over and shoots the building across from us. He grabs a hold of me and is about to leave.  
“You’re not about to leave us here to die?!”  
“50/50 or I jump right now.” Everyone agrees and we all make it to the other building as Duncan shields me from a blast that never happens. I get up and walk over to dad who is standing next to a tarp covering what is the next part of the challenge.  
“As if we have the budget to blow up an entire building. I was just playing with ya… again. Because I can.” I giggle.  
“I nearly peed my pants.” Beth says as Owen and Harold awkwardly chuckle fixing their pants as both used their belts to get down.  
“Okay, kiddies. Time for your next super spook challenge.” He uncovers eight bombs. “In front of you, you’ll see eight bombs. You will have to deactivate the bombs with only the tools you got from the last challenge: the wire cutters. Oh, wait! Wasn’t Duncan the only one who got the wire cutters?” We share a laugh. “Well, I guess everybody else will just have to find their own way of cutting the wires. Sucks to be you. Any questions?” They all ask questions as Lindsay just asks for an outfit change. “Cool! If there are no questions, then what are we waiting for?” We start to leave. “Oh, yeah… one more thing. Those barrels are filled with the most stinky, the most noxious substances known to humankind. Yeah, that’s right. We’re talking major stink bombs.”  
“You mean worse than Owen’s farts?” Owen farts right on que to Harold’s question.  
“Yes, yes it is. Yo, chef!” Chef shows up with a tennis racket dressed like he was playing tennis.  
“Why can’t you handle this? I’m busy!” He flicks a switch that starts the three minute bombs. The three of us leave.  
“Good luck, ‘cause this time, you’re really gonna need it.” We head back and watch the fun unfold.  
Lindsay picks blue and Duncan hands over the wire cutter. It proves correct… for only her bomb. The others use different ways to cut the blue wire, but none of their bombs stop. It explodes. The cameraman looks from the explosion cloud to dad whom I handed a tea to.  
“What? Obviously, we’re not gonna wire each bomb exactly the same way. That would be way too easy for our production crew and no fun for me.” He laughs.  
Chef and I are both pouring tomato soup into a tub that the contestants were in. We’re both wearing gas masks.  
“Tomato soup is so good for your skin. The vitamin C in the tomatoes boosts collagen, improves skin texture, fitness, and tone.” I blink at Lindsay’s brilliance when it comes to anything involving beauty.  
“Glad you like it, because it’s also dinner.” Chef chuckles, tossing in straws as I giggle softly. Duncan called off the 50/50 split when he wasn’t allowed in the bath by the others.  
“Is everyone having fun yet? Duncan and Lindsay, as winners of the first and second challenges, you get the reward. An all-expense-paid trip to… a local cheese factory!” Lindsay’s happy about this. “While on tour, you’ll get to sample all of the cheeses of the world, from blue cheese to green cheese to head cheese, which isn’t technically a cheese but reeks just the same.”  
“Aw, I wish I could go.” Owen whines.  
“Don’t worry, Owen. I’ll bring you back some cheese.”  
“Hey, Chris, how long do we have to soak until the stink wears off?” Harold asks.  
“Oh, I’d say another 12 hours should do.” We both leave the area as Owen starts to drink the bath.  
“The teams are no more. Let’s see how these stinkers do on their own, next time on Total Drama Action!” He wraps up the outro and wraps his arm around me. “Movie and pizza?” I nod and we head to the hotel.


	42. Superhero Movie

Being tied up again wasn’t what I was expecting when dad said I was going to help introduce the next challenge. Though screaming high pitch wasn’t fun either. Only good part was the dress.   
Soon the others arrive in their nightwear. Leshawna was dragging Courtney along since she was wearing an eye cover.  
“Where are we?” Harold asked looking around. Duncan looked worried.  
“Is that boy wearing a dress?” Dad then swoops in and saves me. We land gracefully as he’s dressed like batman.  
“Uh, is anyone gonna tell us what the heck is going on here?” Courtney asked as Dad and I shared a look.  
“Today’s challenges are inspired by the superhero flick.”  
“”Today’s challenges”? Nuh-uh. We just woke up. I haven’t even brushed my teeth yet.” Leshawna brings up.  
“Or had breakfast.” Owen’s stomach grumbles at Beth’s words.  
“I’m going back to bed.”  
“Delinquent’s more of a villain anyway.” He growls at me as I smirk.  
“Evil never sleeps, and neither will you. Besides, superheroes don’t do the things of mere mortals. They have screaming ladies to rescue.” I act like the ladies from the comics for the camera. Fluttering eyelashes and hair twirling was involved.  
“Uh, actually, many superheroes are mere mortals.” Harold starts. “My favorite, the incredible Owl Man, catches thieves just like mice. But come morning, he puts his pants one one leg at a time. Just like the rest of us.” I drop the act as he talks.  
“Speak for yourself, nerd,” I say as dad is in his face.  
“How would you like it if Owl Man scratched your eyes out with his talons?” He knocks him over. “I didn’t think so. Now, shut it!” He begins to walk around explaining. “There are three things intrinsic to all good superhero movies. One-- superheroes have superpowers. Two-- Superheroes save people. And my personal favorite, three-- superheroes wear tights. Which means you will all by wearing…” we both laugh, “teensy-tiny tights.” Everyone else complains except for Lindsay. “Why are you all in your pjs? Get dressed and meet me back on set in superhero speed. Which means you should already be back by here.” He laughs again. “And make sure to wear something that goes with brightly hued spandex.”  
We eat breakfast and then wait for the cast to return. We were standing by sewing machines and a few boxes of different colored spandex.  
“For your first challenge, each of you will create your own superhero identity.” Dad starts off.  
“All right!” Harold cheered.  
“You’ll make your own superhero costumes using nothing but your fertile imaginations and tons of spandex.” A dump truck dumps out a bunch of junk next to us. “And some other junk. You’ll be judged on originality and style of costume, how rocking your superpower is, and how cool your superhero name is. Top score wins an advantage in the next round. Chef will of course play the super villain. Which, let’s face it, won’t be much of a stretch.” Chef shows up in a snake costume with a cat next to him. “Meet Pythonicus and his sidekick Kitty Dander Boy. They will sabotage you at every turn. Any Questions?” They all raise their hands. “No, perfect. And… action!”  
Watching Chef sabotage the others was fun as soon the challenge was over. I was sitting next to dad as Chef was on the other side of the table. We were going to be the judges of the superhero fashion show.  
“Now wearing a superhero costume of her own design, our first supermodel!” It was Beth who had tied wooden planks to her head, arms, and legs. Dad and I share a look as I stop the music. “State your name and superpower.”  
“Lumber Woman?” She sounded so uncertain.  
“You’re a superhero act like one.”  
“I am Lumber Woman! And I can talk to plants!”  
“Are you serious? What do you talk about, the best brand of fertilizer? That’s worth a whole three points.” Justin then shows up looking like Beth except it wasn’t planks it was logs. “I guess not-so-great minds think alike.”  
“I am Timber Man! And my superpower is…” he throws woodchips at us.  
“Seriously? Woodchips?”  
“Oh, and I can float, and make fire as long as I’ve got matches and I don’t get too close to the flame. Ouch.”  
“Lame! Two points. Next!”  
“I’m Captain Alberta!” Harold comes running up in a white and red spandex outfit with canadian flag underwear, a cloud badge on his chest, and a short cape. “And I can swirl up a hot chinook wind.” He eats a burrito and then farts and burps. “That’s a spicy burrito.” The cloud effects Chef.  
“Ah, it burns!” He falls out of his chair as I fight a laugh.  
“Impressive. Gross, but impressive. And extra points for keeping it Canadian. Seven points for Captain Alberta.” He cheers and then Duncan comes out with a third eye on his head.   
“Where are your tights?”  
“I don’t do spandex. I’m the All-Seeing Eye, and I’ve got Psychic powers. I can see into the future.”  
“He also doesn’t do creativity.” I whisper to dad who chuckles.  
“Harold is about to experience a painful life lesson.” He then punches Harold.  
“Even I saw that coming. Two points.” Owen came out in his normal clothes. Dad and I both shared a look.  
“I’m Hungry Boy, because I’m always hungry.” He chuckles as I shake my head.  
“That’s not a superpower. One point, next.” Courtney was up next and she was dressed in a dark spandex one piece with an antenna headband and what looked to be shutters on her legs.  
“I’m the Human Cricket!”  
“I was going with Alien Girl,” I say to dad who laughs.  
“And what are you going to do, Chirp us into submission?”  
“Actually…” She puts earplugs in and then rubs her legs together causing both of us to cover our ears against the horrible sound.  
“Okay! Okay! Stop it! Ah!” She does so and unplugs her ears. “Okay, okay, that’s a pretty effective superpower. Eight points. Finally, we’re getting somewhere. Next!” Leshawna shows up in a blue and white spandex outfit that looks like an aquatic suit.  
“I’m Super Agua Chick.”  
“And what’s your superpower?” Dad gets doused in water. I giggle a bit. “Fair enough. Seven points.” Lindsay shows up dressed as the Canadian version of Wonder Woman.  
“I’m Wonder Woman.”  
“Lindsay, she already exists. But please do keep going. What’s your superpower?” I ask seeing how dad is just smiling.  
“Duh! I wonder a lot. Oh, and I have an invisible jet right here. Or did I leave it over there?”  
“You win. I loved Wonder Woman as a kid. Ten Points.” I smile recalling watching Wonder Woman with dad.  
“What?! What about originality? Wonder Woman’s already a superhero.” Courtney says as she rushes up on stage.  
“Oh, I’m sorry, is this your show? Oh, no, no, it’s my show. Which means I make the rules.”  
“Actually, I think my lawyers make the rules.”  
“Possibly, but I’m still the judge of the contest. And I deem Lindsay the winner. Which means she gets an advantage in the next challenge.” She cheers.  
“You may have won the first round, but we’ll see who comes out on top.” Lindsay then gasps as Courtney walks away.  
“Courtney just stepped on my invisible jet.”  
“Courtney, minus two points for stepping on Lindsay’s jet.”  
“But…”  
“Can I have a ride?” Harold asks.  
“Sure. Who wants a ride in my invisible jet?” We all raise our hands.  
“Man, I love this gig.”  
The “heroes” arrive at the next challenge, which is an obstacle course.  
“For your second challenge we will be testing your super-prowess. You’ll have to leap over a building in a single bound using this trampoline from the set of the movie Trampoline Thunder Two. Awesome flick. You’ll be judged on how far and how high you jump. And please, properly time your landing as we wouldn’t want you to land anywhere other than on this soft, cushy mattress.” Kitty Dander gets launched off the mattress by the springs. “Our first and foremost priority at Total Drama Action is your safety and well-being.” We both share a short laugh.   
”Next, you’ll have to save a woman falling from a building. The woman will be played by a sack of potatoes in a dress.” Chef, still dressed as a villain, holds the sack of potatoes. “Which will be a real catch for you guys.” I giggle at Duncans glare.  
“And finally. You’ll walk across a power line during a meteor shower.” Chef throws a bowling ball which would be the meteor.  
“The person to finish the course with the best time wins invincibility. Lindsay, you’re up first. Ten seconds will be shaved off your time for winning the first round.” Lindsay giggles and goes.  
“And… action!” She runs through the course missing the woman and getting knocked off the power line onto more mattresses.  
“Harold, you’re up.” Harold uses the burrito to get more air time over the building, saves the woman, and just as he’s bounding through the meteor shower, dad makes a comment. “Come on, Pythonicus.” Chef chucks the bowling ball at dad and it then lands on Duncan taking both of them to the ground. I bust out laughing at the two who were on the ground. Harold makes it through. I helped dad up and then helped Duncan up, still giggling a bit. “Never thought I’d say this, but nice work, Captain Alberta. Made good time, too. 36 seconds. Could’ve, uh, gone without the change in weather patterns, though.”  
“Top that, All-Seeing Jerk.”  
“You may have forgotten that my real superpower is being able to cream dorks like you.”  
“Sounds familiar.”  
“Next!” It was one after the other. Duncan and Courtney made it through, Beth tripped up at the woman, Owen and Leshawna didn’t make it past the building, and Justin got electrocuted by grabbing multiple wires.  
“While Captain Alberta did a surprisingly good job, even incorporating his, uh, ahem, superpower, the winner of the second challenge and invincibility is… The Human Cricket with 30 seconds.” She cheers and then grinds her legs together causing us all to cover our ears in pain. “Don’t make me change my mind, Courtney!” She stops. “You guys may be superheroes, but you smell super gross. Time to hit the showers, and decide who’s gonna get kicked to the curb.”  
We head back to the hotel and get cleaned up before we both exit again. Dad for the ceremony and me to go see Duncan.  
“So who’s getting the boot?”  
“Leshawna, she’s the biggest threat, next to Courtney.”  
“Who has invincibility. How are you going to convince Harold to do it?”  
“No need, Courtney’s already voting the way we are so with Owen, Justin, Courtney, and I. There’s no way we’re losing.”  
“But you could Tie.” He blinks realizing that’s a possibility.  
“Okay then, I’ll make sure he votes our way.” I roll my eyes as he looks threatening.  
“Well, have fun.” I place a kiss on his cheek before leaving back to the hotel.  
Back in the hotel, I look and see and email from Total Drama Aftermath wanting me on the show. I sigh and know I have to make an appearance.  
“What’s with the sour look?” I look to see dad had entered wearing his blue suit for the Awards.  
“Gotta be on the Aftermath show.”  
“You’ll get to see Noah again~” Dad teases as I blush and give him a half-hearted glare to which he chuckles at.  
“Guess it won’t be too bad.” He chuckles and pulls me into a hug.  
“Told you, now let’s watch some TV.” I nod as we settle down for the night.


	43. Aftermath

Going to the Aftermath show was a pain. I hate being on stage and there was a live audience. My main focus was going to be on Noah who I spoke to prior to coming on the show.  
I sat in the back room with Leshawna, and Heather as we were the guests of the show.   
“I don’t know if I can do this.” I say to Leshawna as we were waiting.  
“Well, you are first.”  
“Not helping Heather.”  
“What, I’m just saying.” Leshawna glares at her as I start to hyperventilate.  
“Hey, deep breaths now.” I follow Leshawna’s instructions and calm my breathing then one of the aids shows up.  
“You’re on.” I plea with Leshawna as she pushes me out.   
I go on the stage and lock eyes with Noah who gives me a calm smile assuring that everything was okay. I could hear the cheers and applause of the audience and fought the nerve to run back.  
“Welcome, Kaylub.”  
“Hi, Bridgette, Geoff.”  
“So, it must have sucked to have been booted by your arch-enemy, Courtney.” Bridgette started off. “And in such a conniving way. Many of the fans have expressed their anger with the way the voting went. So what’s your thoughts on it?”  
“Wait before you answer, It’s time for a little game I like to call: Truth or Electrocution!” He shows a chair where the hat electrocutes the person and it shocks the pumpkin into exploding. Seems like something dad would use.   
“You have got to be kidding! A hammer, an anvil, and now an electric chair?! You want to electrocute Kaylub?!” Eh, it won’t be that bad.  
“Chill babe. It’s a big chair, but it’s low-voltage.”  
“It’s fine. I’ll do it.” I could see Noah looking annoyed that I’m doing this.  
“Just speak the truth, man and everything will be alright.” I nod to Trent as I take a seat.  
“Any final requests? Oh, kidding Bridge, just kidding.” I roll my eyes at him.  
“Ugh, this is ridiculous! You don’t have to do this, Kaylub.”  
“It’s fine, Bridgette. I’m only speaking the truth after all.” I sit in the chair as the hat is placed on my head and I’m tied in.  
“So, Kaylub, back to the original question. How do you feel about Courtney’s cheating elimination? Furious, vengeful?”  
“Nah,” he flexes for the inevitable shocking… that doesn’t happen  
“But you’re gonna sue right?”  
“No,” he braces again, but nothing happens.  
“Oh, come on! You’re telling me you were unfairly booted off the show, cheated out of a million bucks, and you’re not even mad?”  
“Easy, Geoff.”  
“No, I’m not mad.”  
“Okay, I’ve got one more thing that’s gonna get you.” He’s then pulled away by Bridgette as I look to Noah who smiles and I feel calm.  
“Kaylub, dude, what is up with this internship?” I blink thinking about this.  
“Well, it’s like Chris said. I originally had been accepted for an internship. It’s just been sitting under my contestant contract.”  
“Well, that sounds great and all, but something about it feels like a cover up. Like the producers, Chris, are hiding something.”  
“W-what?!” What do they know?  
“Geoff!”  
“What? Everyone knows that this internship is just a coverup for when they plan to reintroduce Kaylub as a contestant.” Oh, is that it?  
“Ugh, you’re sick! I can’t stand this anymore! I’m sorry, Kaylub.”  
“What’s she sorry for? It’s not like she’s the one who came up with this idea.” Dude, I think she’s breaking up with you.  
“So, when do you think this plan is going to happen?” I ask, trying to change the focus.  
“Uh, we don’t actually know. But we got someone who might on camera. Welcome the host of Total Drama Island and Total Drama Action. It’s Chris McLean!” Dad appears on the screen.  
“It was supposed to be a surprise. Like after a few more challenges, and eliminations, we’d be like “guess who’s back in the game by overwhelming popular demand” some snide remark to Courtney if she’s still in the game, and boom Kaylub’s no longer an intern. But noooo you had to ruin it.”  
“So, when is the plan happening?”  
“Well… I’m not telling. Bye.” A quick glance my way and he’s off the screen.  
“Well that was anticlimactic. Why’d he have to ruin it like that.”  
“I don’t even know who you are anymore.”  
“Ha! I’m the hottest dude you’ve ever been with.”  
“Not anymore. It’s over!” Called it.  
“Uh, actually, it’s just time for a short break. We’ll be back.”  
“I was talking about us. We’re through! Over! Done! Finito!” Everyone gasps as I smile.  
“Now it’s time for That’s Gonna Leave a Mark.” I was let out of the chair as the film went through the many painful experiences that never made it into the final cut. A lot of them were Harold constantly getting hit in the nuts.  
“Man and here I thought Harold’s constant pain in the nuts was bad. Looks like Geoff was in for a bigger shock than I was!” I giggle lightly pulling out my inner host. I look to see Noah smiling proud.  
“Bridge, come on.”  
“Kaylub, could you please tell Geoff to stop talking to me?”  
“Geoff?”  
“I can hear her.”  
“Bridge, let’s talk about this.”  
“Kaylub, could you please tell Geoff that it’s time to introduce our next two guests?”  
“Fine! Be that way!” His voice cracks.  
“Geoff, Bridgette says it’s time to introduce…” I motion for Bridgette to take the stage.  
“Heather and Leshawna, everyone! Heather and Leshawna are long-time rivals.”  
“They do have one thing in common. Heather tried hard to cover up her ugly bald head.”  
“While Leshawna tried hard to cover her butt after getting caught in a big, fat lie. In the end the girls formed an unlikely friendship when Heather stood up for Leshawna when Leshawna didn’t have a leg to stand on. Our next two guests have licked Owen’s armpit, sucked jam from his belly button, and eaten a cockroach.” She removes his arm from around her. “Oh, wait, that was just Heather. Please welcome Heather and Leshawna!” The two come out and I can’t help but giggle recalling the sick things Heather had to do. Leshawna and Bridgette hug.  
“Great to see you, Leshawna. Heather. Nice wig.” She then takes her seat.  
“Good to be here, girl. Yo, Geoff.”  
“Kaylub, would you please tell Geoff to say hi to our guests?”  
“Geoff, it’s a talk show.”  
“Oh, don’t you worry, Kaylub. I’ll do all the talking from now on. Heather, your turn in the hot seat, and by “hot seat,” I mean electric chair!”  
“You mean we have to sit in that? I don’t think so.”  
“Thing is, mm, it’s not up to you.” Geoff answers Leshawna nonchalantly while looking at his nails.  
“Whatever.” I wouldn’t mind seeing her shocked.   
“You’ve got guts, girl.”  
“They can shock me all they want. My parents tried electroshock therapy on me as a kid to try to make me a nicer person. Worked like a charm.” I blink at this as she’s strapped in. Then the questions started,  
“So, Heather, before you were voted off, Courtney was brought back. You think she’s a worthy competitor?”  
“No.” She gets shocked.  
“Awesome! Do you think Lindsay’s as dumb as she looks?”  
“Yes.” She’s shocked again.  
“This is too easy. Do you think Beth could be a threat?  
“Beth? Absolutely not.” Third time’s the charm. I am loving this.  
“Kaylub, will you tell Geoff I’d like a go?” When did I become their messenger bird?  
“She’s all yours, Bridge, baby.” She rolls her eyes.  
“I’m thinking it’s time for a little never-before-seen footage.”  
“Of me? There isn’t anything I’ve done or said off-camera that’s any worse than what I’ll say right now.” Bridgette chuckles.  
“Oh, we’ll see about that.” It starts off with Harold doing yo-yo tricks.  
“What is this?” Heather asks.  
“It’s the Courtney cam! Girl had a camera of her own. Crafty!” Geoff says as I raise a brow. “What do we have here?” It shifts over to where Heather was hiding behind a clothes rack watching Harold. Then she pulls out a pair of yo-yo’s of her own and starts to do the same thing as Harold only to fail.  
“Heather has mad skills.” Everyone laughs.  
“That footage was obviously altered. I would never--” Leshawna’s laughter cuts her off. “I thought we were friends!”  
“Oh, we are, girl. But that doesn’t make you look any less funny. Oh, I sure miss Harold.”  
“Speaking of which, it’s your turn in the chair, Leshawna.” She goes to get into the chair.  
“Woah. After what happened on the show, I think Leshawna’s suffered enough.” Bridgette brings up.  
“Oh, I learned my lesson, all right. This girl’s never lying again.” She sets herself up.  
“Don’t worry. We had so much fun with Heather, I’ll go easy on her.” Geoff says.  
“There’ll be no fibbing over here. Lay ‘em on me!”  
“So, Heather defended you before she was booted from the show. You honestly think she meant what she said? I mean, this is Heather.”  
“‘Course I believe her. Don’t get me wrong, girl can be a real witch, but she stood up for me. And where I’m from, that counts for a lot.”   
“Leshawna, did you blame people for being mad? You know, with the whole spa thing and the video?” Bridgette asked.  
“Heck no! I’d have been mad at me, too. Listen, I know I said all those nasty things, but I meant all the nice things I said even more.”  
“We’ve got a question on webcam. Harvey from Yellowknife.” It was a nerdy boy with brown hair and glasses.  
“Hey, there, Harvey. What’s your question?”  
“Uh, hi, Leshawna. Are you mad at Harold for voting you off?”  
“No, I’m not mad at my sugar baby. Cutthroat Courtney got to him! Plus it’s my own fault he couldn’t trust me. This girl messed up.”  
“So, like, uh, is there still hope for you two?”  
“Now what kind of a question is that? Harold and I are just friends. And that’s all we’ll ever be.” People clap.  
“Do you mean that? Geoff asks.  
“Oh, are we doing this again?”  
“Yep. But because I promised Bridge we’d go easy on you, you might want to watch this before answering.” It was the same video, but this time it went over to Leshawna who was eye-balling Harlold. “Oh, yeah. You’ve just got to love the Courtney cam! I’ve seen that look before, Leshawna. It’s the way Bridgette used to look at me.” She then hits him. “She hit me! Yes! We’re making progress.”  
“You know you like him.” I whisper to Leshawna.  
“You still telling me you don’t like Harold? Look where you’re sitting.” She then remembers she’s in an electric chair.  
“All right, all right! Truth is I like Harold! A lot. Sure there’s a part of me that can’t resist those little-man biceps of his. Who could? But we’re friends. Which is how we’re gonna keep it.”  
““Harold’s little-man biceps”?” Geoff laughs as I unleash Leshawna on him.  
“Now what is your problem? You used to be sweeter than honey. Now you’re getting all kinds of nasty.”  
“That’s what I’d like to know.” Bridgette said all heartbroken.  
“What? We’re just having a good time. Back me up, man.” He looks at me for support. I shake my head not wanting to get involved.  
“I am so proud of you!” Heather said, making us all look at her. Dad would approve.  
“Whatever! I’m just having some fun.”   
“You know what I think would be fun?” Bridgette stands up and comes over to us. I hear the plan and smile. Dad would be proud.  
“Since you’re such a huge fan of truth or electrocution, we think you should take a turn. Let’s get him!” Leshawna leads the charge as we get him and put him in the chair securing him down.  
“Now it’s our turn to ask the questions.” Bridgette says as he calms down.  
“No prob. I’m an honest guy, right?”  
“Geoff, is this really the new you-- the manager, the publicist, the bullying? Or is this just what you think people want from you?”  
“Uh… pass! Next!”  
“Ooh, you know that’s not the way this works. You wrote the rules.”  
“This all me all the way.” Wrong answer. “My new hairstylist Claude is gonna kill me!”  
“Not if the chair gets you first.” Heather says. “Who do you think is the hottest girl on the show?” That’s an obvious answer.   
“How do you really feel about Bridgette?” I say.  
“Whatever, it’s not like I need her.” Wrong answer again. “Okay! I’m crazy about her!” He then looks to Bridgette. “I’m crazy about you, Bridge. I’m sorry about the way I acted.”  
“Aw.” She gives him a peck on the cheek. “Maybe there’s a bit of a softy left in there after all. If you promise to behave.”  
“Promise. Double swearsies.”  
“Okay.” She sits on his lap. “That’s all for tonight. Join Chris and the cast next time for another totally suspenseful episode of Total Drama Action!” The two then make out as I exit and meet up with Noah.  
“You did great for someone who hates being on stage.” He says as he walks with me to my ride back to the lot. “I’m surprised you seemed so calm in the electric chair.”  
“Yeah, well it wasn’t plugged in while I was in it.” He chuckles at that and I giggle. “I’ll see you once this is all over?”  
“Of course, I am applying to be your assistant/manager, little Starlight.” I blush and give him a quick kiss before getting into the car.


	44. Fairytale Movie

“I’m glad that’s over, but please explain why I have to wear this?” I was dressed up in a dark purple princess dress.   
“You’re a part of the challenge.”  
“Shouldn’t one of the contestants be the princess? Like say Lindsay or, dare I say, Courtney?”  
“Nope, you’re cuter than both of them combined and we can make merch off you without worrying of anyone asking for profit. Oh come on, your cute voice and the adorable dolls… that we’ve already started to make.”  
“Dad!” He chuckles as I beet red with a pouty glare at him.  
“I mean look at this.” He shows me one of the dolls with black hair and eyes wearing the same dress I’m wearing. “And we’ve got one with your regular outfit as well.” He pulls out a second one that’s wearing a black hoodie and jeans. I had to admit they were cute. “And when you sing, it could be a good boost for when you start your actual career.” I sigh knowing he’s right and knowing all this was done for me makes me smile.  
“I’ll be your princess.”  
“Yay!” He hugs me and spins me as I giggle at his reaction. “Now let’s go.”  
We arrive at the craft tent where the others were and I wait outside for him to call me. I was out of the dress and back in my normal attire. Chef goes first blowing into a trumpet.  
“Hear ye and rise for Sir Chris!” Dad rides in on the horse from the western challenge.  
“Sir? Someone needs an ego check.” Harold said as I rolled my eyes.  
“Ooh, that’s a glass slipper, which means today’s challenge is a fairy-tale movie! My favorite!” Wow, Beth, way to steal dad’s job.  
“Beth, dude, if you ever steal my intro again, I’ll have to personally boot you off the show.”  
“You can’t boot Beth. Oh, wait. He can, ‘cause it’s a glass boot.” I snorted at Lindsays comment.  
“And the foot that fits determines the princess for today’s fairy-tale movie challenge.” Wait what? “The rest of you compete for the honor of rescuing the fair princess.”  
“I want to be the princess!” Beth was bouncing up and down.  
“I said the fair princess, and what we think is fair is that the candidates be the ladies who won last time. Courtney and Lindsay.” The two sit on the table as I watch from outside.  
“Are you sure that’s the right one? It’s tiny, like a kid’s boot.” I try not to take offense from Lindsay’s comment on my shoe size.  
“Ooh! Ooh! I wear kids’ size four!” Beth was really trying for the princess role.  
“What can I say? Princesses are supposed to have dainty feet.” Lindsay sighs.  
“Can I do this privately?”  
“It’s just a foot. I think we’ve all seen those before.” Justin says as I nod.  
“Get on with it, Lindsay.” She struggles to take off her own shoe and I blink at the size. How does she fit those into those small boots?  
“Lookit, boys! We’ve found Bigfoot!” Duncan says as the other guys laugh. I was more focused on how she fit that into her boots.  
“I hear glass shoes have a lot of stretch.” Now, Beth, why are you lying?  
“Really?”  
“Um, no.”  
“I feel like I’m trying to jam a T.rex into a smart car and make him buckle up.” Dad says while trying to get the shoe on Lindsay. “Well, if getting it on your big toe counted, you’d have won.” She sighs in defeat.  
“I am so going to take this.” Courtney says as she gets up and takes the shoe.  
“I don’t know. Doesn’t look like it’s gonna fit.” She then starts to force her foot in.  
“I hope that’s safety glass.” Harold said as I watched the struggle.  
“Courtney, we had something planned if it didn’t-”  
“Ha, yes!” She manages to get her foot in, but then it cracks.  
“Well, that was unexpected. Hurry, before she loses a foot and I lose another lawsuit.”  
“I dub thee, Princess Courtney.”  
“Eat my pixie dust, Commoners!” The shoe then rockets off her foot and hits Justin in the face. I catch the shoe and put it on showing that it fits well on me.  
“So now what?” I ask dad as we travel.  
“Princess and the Pauper style. We’re just going to switch you two out.” I blink at this idea and then shrug.  
“It’s story time with Uncle Chris.” Dad said from on his movable storytime setup. Which was an armchair with a fake fire by him. “Once upon a time, six brave knights went on a quest to rescue a princess from her ivory tower, but it wasn’t going to be easy. First the knights had to get past my very good friend, the terrible toothless troll, and his bad breaks bridge. To get past the terrible toothless troll, the knights had to wear disguises. There was the frog prince, and the ugly stepsister, sleeping Beauty, and one of her seven dwarves, Humpty and Little Red Riding Hood.”  
“Uh… can we at least make it Red Riding Hoodlum?” Duncan asked with a wink my way.  
“No dice, dude. That’s what it says in the script.” I place cookies and milk next to dad. “Good work, kid.” I nod and step out of frame. Though the camera caught a glimpse of my purple pauper outfit. Which was just a vest, white blouse top, and tattered pants. “And so the ugly stepsister approached the terrible troll.”  
“But I can’t see!” I giggle at Beth.  
“Oh, yeah, for this challenge each knight is blind.” All of them complain. “Nowhere in this story does it say, “The cowardly knights complained.” So, get it together, steppie, and get crossing.” She goes up and complains only to get pelted by crab apples. “Oh, also, those are wicked witch’s apples. So, they’re poisonous and rotten. You might want to watch-” She then slips on them and falls. “See? Beth is just not fairy-tale heroine material.” She’s taken to get patched up. “Next the eighth dwarf. He grabbed a fistful of courage and headed across the bridge.”  
“This is for you, Leshawna!” He then manages to get across. Lindsay is up next and she breaks the bridge halfway through sending Chef, and the golden goose, falling, but he has a parachute.  
“Hey, sleeping Bigfoot. Boats go under bridges, not over them!” Duncan says as I giggle a bit.  
“My feet are not that big!” She then lands hard on the ground and is taken to the infirmary.  
“Ha-ha! Awesome! It goes froggy, humpty, and finally Captain Hood.”  
“At least my face will be protected from further indignity.” Justin then runs into the pole, Duncan steers him wrong and he runs into the other side. I’m laughing as he’s then thrown into an axe only to use his head to body Chef and make it across.  
“Justin’s still got it. All right, then. Humpty?” Owen goes only to fall through and land harshly. “The final knight attempting to enter fairy-tale land is… Little Red Riding Hoodlum. We’re over this way!” Duncan was tying a blindfold that I know he’s peeking through. “Rapunzel dude! Let down your hair!” Chef uses his blonde hair like a whip.  
“Hey, he can see!” Justin called out.  
“How? With his X-ray vision? That’d be cool.” Duncan then swings from the hair making it across.   
“And so the terrible toothless troll knocked off three losers.” We were at a stage as Lindsay, Beth, and Owen were in bandages. “But three semi-brave knights made it to the other side and continued on their noble quest, whereupon I, in my wisdom, inspired them with a vision of Princess Courtney.” She’s lowered down in the dress I wore earlier and started to sing the song I wrote for this challenge. I look to see dad smirking and feel a tap on my shoulder. I see it’s one of the other interns and I follow them to a dressing room.  
“Time to get ready.” I nod and enter putting on the dress and allowing hair and makeup to do their magic. Though all they do is style my hair and add a light blush and lipstick.  
When I return, there’s a poof of smoke and Courtney and I switch places.  
“Wasn’t that song brilliant? It was so brilliant, I know everyone wishes they could hear the original singer over and over and over again, and now they can. Live the magic of Kaylub for only 12.99. Call 555-SELLOUT to get your authentic Pauper Kaylub CD, before everyone else downloads it illegally.”  
“I’ll take one! I’m gonna listen to this beautiful love song and think of Leshawna.” I roll my eyes at Harold.  
“Hold up, what just happened? Not that I’m complaining~” Duncan winks at me as I roll my eyes a light blush on my cheeks.  
“Oh, well, it’s the classic, Princess and the Pauper.”  
“But they don’t even look alike.” Harold inputs.  
“I’m the one telling the story. Now hush up.” Chef arrives and I get on the back of the horse from the western movie challenge.  
“Are we supposed to catch him?”  
“No, it’s a classic princess abduction, as the villain makes a whirlwind getaway on a swift steed.” I tap the old horse and we get a move on. “So, that’s how the three knight dudes lost the pauper. But fate, a.k.a. me, wasn’t finished with them. They followed the troll all the way to a fight to the death, along the way meeting up with Princess Courtney who joined them in their quest to save the pauper, because that’s how I like my fairy-tales told.” I was taken to the water tower which was now decorated like a castle. I waited at the top.  
“Sir Justin, Sir Duncan, Sir Harold, and Princess Courtney reached the ivory tower in which the troll had stuck the Type-A pauper. But there was only one way to rescue him. One of the brave knights had to slay the dragon.” The dragon was the monster from the first episode. “Let the dragon-slaying begin.” Each of the four of them got a sword.  
“I believe in you, my brave knights!” I call out to them with a princess wave.  
“I’ll save you, Kaylub!” I blush at Justin’s boldness as he rushes toward the monster.  
“You pauper-stealing slimeball!” I watch as Duncan tackles Justin and the two clash blades. The monster separates the two and it seems that Harold makes a deal with Justin. Justin is running around with Duncan and the monster chasing him before stopping causing the monster to trip over Duncan and crash before the three remaining people. Harold goes up first only to get knocked down by Justin, who is then knocked down by Courtney who wins.   
“I won!” I see dad promoting the two dolls, the one that was wearing the dress was changed for my pauper outfit, and my face flushes.  
“Courtney wins immunity. Again.” Dad wasn’t happy about that.  
“Yes!”  
I get down and are swept into Delinquents arms as he kisses me deeply. When we separate, I raise a brow at the sudden affection.  
“Fine, I’m a bit of the jealous type and it makes me realize how lucky I am that you’re mine.” I give him a sweet kiss in return.  
“You do remember what I told you right?” He scoffs, but nods.  
“Doesn’t mean I gotta be friendly with someone who isn’t confirmed yet. Noah is confirmed, Justin isn’t.” I roll my eyes at him and kiss his cheek.  
“Don’t you have an elimination to get to?” He huffs not wanting to let me go, but he does so.  
“Marketing says that the dolls are selling extremely well and the audience can’t get enough.” Dad says as Chef was playing with the dolls too, but he had them dressed as soldiers.  
“Princes attack!” He fires a cannon taking off the upper body of the enemy dolls.  
“Hey, audience, make sure you don’t miss the next kiss-filled episode of… “Total Drama Action”!” He makes kissy noises as he makes the two different versions of my doll kiss each other. “Now, you see, Chef, that’s how you play with dolls.” I shake my head at him as we all head to dinner and then bed.


	45. Mystery Movie

Recording the video was easy. Watching dad give out clues in a semi-obvious manner while also sticking to the theme was fun. I enjoy watching him act, he gains this light in his eyes when he’s acting that makes me smile. After filming, I uploaded it to a flash drive which I handed off to Chef. I then locked dad into a safe.  
I love mystery movies for the sole reason of solving the mystery. Also the chaos the villain can cause before getting caught.  
Watching the other go around trying to get prints and a DNA sample from each other was entertaining. Courtney tricks Lindsay with a fake spa day, Beth tricks Lindsay with a “lost” retainer, Duncan gets Harold due to his failed contraptions, Harold gets Beth with his contraption in the confession make-up trailer, Courtney tricks Owen with food to get a second set of prints, and Lindsay tries to get Courtney’s but she fails. Feeling bad for Lindsay, I invite Duncan to eat with me.  
“Babe, you didn’t have to-” He relaxes into my touch as I run my hands through his hair. Before he could react, I pulled a strand of his hair out. “Ow- why’d you do that? You’re not a part of the challenge.” I giggle and run my fingers through his hair causing him to relax again.  
“I know, but seeing Lindsay try so hard, and fail to get Courtney’s, made me want to help her. Plus we need everyone’s prints.”  
“Then why don’t you go after Courtney?” I grip at his hair at the mention of her name and he groans. I release my grip and apologize.  
“Just don’t like hearing her name from you.” He chuckles and pulls me into his lap.  
“Now who’s being jealous?” I glare at him daring to continue down this path. He raises his hands in defeat. I give him a light kiss.  
“I’ve got to head back now.”  
“I’ll see you later?” I nod and leave. I slip the sample into Lindsay’s hand later. I watch as she cheers about getting a sample.  
Later we met at a train station set and I carried a box to each of the contestants collecting the samples. The only one without a sample was Owen. Courtney had two and we arrived at her.  
“So, where’s my prize?” She says holding up her two proudly.  
“Sorry, Courtney. It’s not prize time yet.”  
“Make it prize time!”  
“I’m trying to do my job here.”  
“Maybe I should get my lawyers to do their job.” Dad and I share a look.  
“Moving on.”  
“I wanna prize! I wanna prize! I want a prize!” Courtney complained all the way to the train.  
“Alright, already! Here.” He tosses her a bag of cheesy puffs. “I was going to eat them on the train but you’re welcome to them if they will shut you up! Now, can you please get on the train.” She starts walking by dad. “Hey! I haven’t even said “all aboard” yet. All aboard!” We all get on the train and dad goes over to Courtney taking her hand.  
“What are you doing?” He takes her prints as I get the pleasure of pulling out a strand of her hair.  
“Regulation to ride the train, ma’am.” We smirk at each other. Chef arrives with a cart full of sweets and treats. “Welcome aboard the 7:30 to Funville. Let the party begin.”  
“There’s a party? Awesome!” Harold said.  
“And it’s for all of us? Awesomer!” Beth followed.  
“This is great that we all get to share this, huh, Courtney?” Lindsay was trying to be friendly.  
“Whoopdi-doo! I’m sticking with my delicious, exclusive, cheese-flavored cheese type prize snacks.”  
“Can I have one?” Beth asked with her hand out.  
“Yeah, they look so delicious.” Owen was fawning over the chips.  
“Did you win them?” Then the lights go out as the others freak out. I pull out the fake Chris and tap dad.  
“Uh, you can’t kill the host, ah!” There’s sounds of a struggle as we both slip out of the booth to the camera booth. We turn the lights back on and watch the oncoming scene.  
“Look! Chris is dead!” I cling to dad hearing his heartbeat knowing the truth, but still the fake Chris looks a lot like dad that it can’t be helped.  
“Dead dead?”  
“Yep. Totally dead.” Duncan was checking for a pulse he wasn’t going to find.  
“No, that’s not possible. I never got a decent prize. Harold, give him CPR!” Courtney commands as we both watch Harold talk about him being a licensed paramedic.  
“Hurry! He’s not breathing!” Lindsay says panicking. He gives dad CPR before assessing that the pulse still isn’t present.  
“So, um, what do we do?” Harold and Beth then run around the compartment in panic only to run into each other in front of Duncan. Owen’s also panicking.  
“Would you pull it together, losers? We’ve got to figure this out.” Duncan takes control.  
“I can see why you like him.” I rolled my eyes at dad as he had popcorn. I steal some as Lindsay goes on a rant about a story that slightly pertains to what’s going on.  
“So we have to get fruit punch for came… er Chris!” I blink as dad and I share a look.  
“Yeah, okay, does anyone else have any ideas?”  
“Know a bit about trains myself, I can say an engineer is probably steering this thing and could be counted upon for aid. Duh! Beth, try the phone to the engine.” Beth does as Harold tells her to and no one answers.   
“We’re trapped. We’re all gonna die.” Lindsay cries out.  
“Is everybody here really that gullible? Yeah, Chris just happens to croak right here in front of us and we can’t reach anybody.” She kicks the dummy. Tampering with the body in a crime scene, tsk, tsk, tsk. “He’s probably not even dead.” Another kick. “I only watched when you guys had to jump out of a plane.” Kick. “You guys were in that episode. Doesn’t anyone remember there was no plane?” Kick.  
“She’s right.” Courtney kicks the body again as Beth looks away.  
“I guarantee the crew is just shaking the train car. And the windowview is a holographic projection. This is obviously all make believe.” She then steps on dad and I wince.  
“She really had to do my dummy dirty like that? Well, guess we have our killer?”  
“Oh, yeah. I was hoping to pin this on her the entire time.” We both smirk evilly as we set up the evidence.  
“Okay, everybody. We’ve got to chill out and get back to the studio, which will happen most effectively when I tell the producers that this violates my contract.” And in what way does it do that? She finds out that there are no bars as this is an actual train. She steps on dad’s dummy again.  
“Well, I’m gonna draw Chris’ shadow outline thing, just like they do in the movies.” Lindsay starts drawing with her lipstick. “Why do they do that anyway? Do we color it in later or something?” She did it again. Does something smart, but doesn’t understand it.  
“Duncan, climb out of the ceiling hatch and go find Chef or a producer or somebody.”  
“Why do I get to be the lucky one?”  
“Because,” she drapes herself over him. “You’re the only one that can handle it.” He pushes her off him and huffs.  
“Fine.” He goes out on the roof and the hatch shuts. I notice we’re heading for a tunnel and that’s our cue. The lights go out as we enter the tunnel. I sneak in and take dad’s dummy out while also leaving our evidence of the killer. Once I’m back the lights turn back on as we exit the tunnel.  
Duncan falls back into the compartment all disheveled like he was hit by a truck.  
“Yeah, it’s a real train and I won’t be going back out there again.”  
“If this is real and if we’re really stuck in this car, then somebody here must be…” Harold goes into dad’s bag and pulls out a magnifying glass, “the murderer.”  
“Oh, can’t you be serious?”  
“I am. What’s more serious than a murder?” Owen gasps.  
“Dude, Chris’ body’s gone!”  
“He’s disappeared!”  
“Aliens got him!” Beth calls out as I blink.  
“You’re all idiots. This is a setup. Duncan, go check to see if he’s in one of the other cars.” He glares, but does head out.  
I leave our car and wait in one of the ones before the camera room. Duncan enters. He sees me and smirks.  
“Well, lucky me to see you again.” I roll my eyes as he pulls me close and gives me a kiss. I play with his hair getting the dirt and stuff out of it as he sighs into the kiss. We pull away as I step out of his hold.  
“It’s a challenge. Head on back and tell them no one else is on the train.” He nods and with a peak on the cheek leaves.  
I reenter the control car to see that Duncan was just returning.  
“The other cars are empty. What?” He sees the way Beth, Lindsay, Owen, and Harold were looking at him.  
“These nitwits think you did it.” Courtney says, not amused.  
“Chris allowed Kaylub to get kicked from the show.” Harold starts.  
“And he’s your love interest.” Lindsay adds.  
“That’s called a motive.” Beth finishes.  
“Well, he is my love interest, but he’s still around while not in the competition.”  
“Let’s not get sidetracked. We all know it’s just a scam,” Beth gets the cuffs from the bag. “Next you’ll be saying it was Professor Plum in the conservatory with a bacon sandwich.”  
“Hm, bacon sandwich.” Owen says as they go after Duncan.  
“That hair could have fallen off my head when we found the body.” He’s backed against the door.  
“This is entertaining.” I nod agreeing with dad as they cuff him to a bar.  
“I’ll get us back to set and then you’ll be cleared. Just hang in there.” Courtney said as I glared at her.  
“This feels a little too familiar for comfort.”  
“I’m sorry the others won’t listen to me. They keep listening to--”  
“We should be looking for other clues, just in case.” They were listening to Lindsay. “We still have to figure out how Chris died.” At least she knows how the challenge should be accomplished. I’m actually quite proud and impressed with Lindsay. “Can you die if someone poisons your hair gel? He uses a lot of that.” Dad pouts as I giggle.  
“Oh, Blah-blah-blah. This is the same person who thought Chris was buried alive. Doesn’t it make more sense to help me try to get us off this train?”  
“If I do, can I still use this?” Harold was holding a magnifying glass.  
“Yes, and congratulations on being too sensible to listen to Lindsay.”  
“Yeah, well, what do you know? I could be just as right about this as anybody.” She’s not wrong there. We watch as Courtney gets Harold to open the hatch to the bottom of the train. Beth ends up leaving Lindsay’s side in favor of Courtney who already had both guys on her side.  
They throw a soda and then a pillow which causes Harold to get covered in feathers. Dad, Delinquent, and I are busting out laughing.  
“Now, throw down a fur coat and let’s see how he’d look as Bigfoot!”   
“Ah-ha!” Lindsay finally finds the napkin and she draws a very good drawing of it. Everyone gathers around.  
“Here we have a suspicious napkin covered on opposite ends with some kind of orange powder, as though it was held like a murder weapon.” She flips the page showing a childish drawing of Courtney eating the orange cheesies. “Here we have Courtney eating a bag of orange cheesies which she refused to share. Therefore, Courtney was the only one to have orange cheesy fingers.” Nice job Lindsay. I look to dad and he nods.  
“Oh, this is ridiculous.”  
“Really?” She pulls out her print sheet. “The prints don’t lie.”  
“I was framed. Who are you going to believe? Dingbat over here or someone who actually has a brain.”  
“Cuff her!” They get evil smirks as we enter. Dad laughs dragging the dummy with him.  
“Ha-ha! Oh, I really had you guys.” I uncuff Duncan. He smiles at me. “I look good in rubber, don’t you think? Crackerjack Special effects, dudes.”  
“Whoa, coolio! How do I get a rubber Harold?”  
“Threaten to quit your hosting job unless they give you an extra big budget to psych the kids out.”  
“I was not psyched out. I knew!” Courtney was in dad’s face who nonchalantly walked by her.  
“Nonetheless, the winner of today’s challenge is the person who solved the crime. And that person is: Detective Lindsay!”  
“I prefer Detective Lindsay her hotness.”  
“No! This isn’t fair. I won two portions already! I was the one who knew you weren’t dead. She couldn’t even tell the difference between a human being and a rubber dummy!” She kicks it in her anger. “Besides, I didn’t do it. I’m innocent.”  
“They all say that. As a bonus to immunity, the reward that Lindsay will be enjoying tonight is a night at the movies with a friend of her choice who will also be safe from elimination.”  
“Oh, it’s been so long since I’ve been to the movies.” Beth says as I notice Lindsay looking at me.  
“That’s all right Chris, I’ll just take the immunity and allow Duncan and Kaylub to have a movie date.” I blush as Duncan wraps an arm around me. Beth and Courtney gasp, but then Beth smiles. I guess she’s okay with this.  
I lean into Duncan whenever a scary part happens in Dad’s post-apocalyptic badminton movie.  
“So, is this what you meant by there was a badminton movie?” I nod as soon the movie is over. “I have to admit, not as bad as I thought it would be.” I nod again. “Well, care to walk with me back to the trailers?”  
“Sure,” I get up and walk with him as his hand is in mine. We both arrive and share a sweet kiss. “Bye, Delinquent.”  
“Seeya, Shortstack.”   
Later we learn Owen got the boot, through Courtney’s manipulation.


	46. Rock n' Roll Movie

We arrive in front of the trailers and Chef starts jamming on the drums. This causes the others to exit the trailers.  
“Nice of you to join us. Today’s movie genre is… Drum roll please!” Chef goes long on the drumroll enough to annoy dad. “Ok, we know! The spotlight isn’t big enough for the both of us.” He stops. “Today’s movie genre is…” a quick glare to Chef, who does a short drum roll. “The rock ‘n’ roll biopic.”  
“Alright!” Harold does an excellent air electric guitar performance. Duncan also celebrates in his own way.  
“Any good rock ‘n’ roll biopic starts with a kid from humble beginnings drawn into the seemingly glam world of rock music. After overcoming enormous hardship, the kid gets a break and makes it ginormous. Bigger than me, even. The kid is then drawn into a scandalous world of stuff I’m not allowed to talk about with 16 year olds.” 14 but yeah. “Things that lead to dangerous addictions, multiple divorces, the occasional night in the joint and an untimely death whilst sitting on a toilet. A few things that any certifiable rock god needs to know that I can talk about… You need to know how to rock out on the guitar, work the paparazzi and trash a hotel room. Yeah! Any questions?” There weren't any.  
“Good, I have an announcement to make. Because I’m the host and can do whatever I want, I’ve decided to bring someone back to the show.” We make eye contact and I know exactly what’s going on. “Can anyone guess who that might be?” Lindsay gasps.  
“Is it… what’s the name of that boy I liked again? Tyler?” Poor guy.  
“I can’t take it anymore!” Courtney complained.  
“Is it Leshawna? I’d like that very much.” Harold was smiling thinking of her. Duncan rolled his eyes.  
“It’s obviously Shortstack over there.”  
“You’re just saying that because you want him back in the game just like I want Leshawna back.”  
“No, he’s right. Everyone, Kaylub’s back in the game!” I smile and walk over to Duncan as the others cheer about my return… minus Courtney.  
“No way Child is allowed back. I had to file a lawsuit to get back on this show. I’m contacting my lawyers.” Good luck with that.   
“You’re not the only one with lawyers. While Kaylub, personally, didn’t sue. Thank you for that.” I nod. “The overwhelming number of Kaylub fans did though in his stead and won! I mean he was unfairly kicked off the show. That good enough for you?” He was standing by her as she pouted.  
/”We all know… at least those that watched the Aftermath show… that this was in the planning since I was kicked off at first. I mean I really do have an intern contract, but they just love my contestant contract more… more views if I’m playing I guess.” I shrug.\  
“Alright, people. Time for your first big gig. Meet me at the Big Stadium in ten minutes. You can’t miss it.” He leaves as Chef follows with the drumset.  
I feel an arm around my shoulder and look to see Duncan smirking at me.  
“Good to have you back, Shortstack.” I shrug.  
“I quite enjoyed not being involved with the torture and being the one helping in doing the torturing.” He rolls his eyes as we travel to get to where the Big Stadium is.  
It turns out to be the Gilded Chris Awards Theater.  
“I said ten minutes, not ten hours!” Even though he was yelling, I saw in his eyes a softness that meant he wasn’t actually mad, just acting. My heart calmed down seeing this.  
“You also said to meet you at the Big Stadium and this is the dumpy Gilded Chris Awards Theater.” Duncan snapped back noticing my reaction to him yelling.  
“Where you might get dumped!” He smiles. “Not bad! First step to becoming a rock legend is to show up late to your own show. For your first challenge, you’re going to be rocking out on the guitar.” I silently cheer.  
“But I don’t know how to play the guitar.” Lindsay voiced. “Is it anything like the recorder? I can play the recorder.”  
“Yeah, it’s a lot like playing the recorder. Only completely different. Since I’m guessing most of you can’t read, let alone read music, you’ll be playing a guitar-shaped peripheral. The notes will be represented by colored notes on the screen, which corresponds to your guitar. You’ll play simultaneously during which you’ll be eliminated. Everytime you play a wrong note--” he imitates getting shocked.  
“You mean you’re going to electrocute us?” Beth asked shocked… which by now she shouldn’t be.  
“Me, electrocute you? Of course not.” Wait for it. “The guitar will electrocute you!” I snort as the others gasp. He laughs. “But don’t worry, you’ll live. Though you may never be able to play the piano again.”  
“I can’t play the piano anyway.” Lindsay assures.  
“Or use the phone.” This gets her as she cries out loud.  
We each got a guitar as mine was black and gold, Duncan had a skull one, Courtney’s looked like an acoustic guitar, Harold had the Canadian flag, Lindsay had a pure black one, and Beth had a banjo.  
“Are you ready to rock out?!”  
“For those about to rock. I salute you.” Harold responded to dad.  
“Bite me.” Duncan responded as I giggle.  
“And, rock on!” Harold catches on fire, Lindsay gets shocked for not playing, Beth explodes, Courtney is trying too hard doing tricks, I’m hitting every note, and Duncan, the rock star he is, is only playing every 10th note… and then destroyed his guitar.  
“Nice one, Duncan. You broke it.” Dad says as we stop due to him doing that.  
“Oops, sorry.”  
“No you’re not.” He chuckles at me.  
“No, I’m not.”  
“Impressive the three of you, but the winner is…” Another drum roll. “Duncan.”  
“What! But I hit every note and I played behind my head and on my knees and with my teeth.” Courtney complained.  
“Yes. Yes, you did. But you tried way too hard and if there is one thing rock stars don’t do, it’s try. Even a little. You saw Duncan.” She scoffs.  
“Yeah, he played every tenth note and broke his guitar afterwards.”  
“Exactly!”  
“Watch and learn baby doll. Maybe one day you’ll be able to rock as hard as me.” I block her attack with my own guitar glaring back at her.  
“We’ll be right back as soon as Courtney cools off with a hot bath and Kaylub loses the intention to cut Courtney’s rock career short.” We separate as she goes and cools off and I get cuddles from Duncan to calm my intent.  
We return on the red carpet as Dad pulls up in the lame-ousine wearing his blue suit.  
“Welcome back to the rock ‘n’ roll biopic edition of ”Total Drama Action”. Now in order to become a true rock immortal you must know how to work the paparazzi. First part of your second challenge is an obstacle course of fans, photage, groupies, and autograph hounds. You’ll start at the lame-ousine, walk up the red carpet, past the obstacles and finally backstage. One of you will win. The rest will be celebrity road-kill. Duncan, for winning the first challenge you get our backstage pass. So you’ll start half way.” We all take seats and watch. “Okay, Courtney. You’re up first. And action!”  
She takes off down the red carpet dodging the paparazzi, signing the autograph, smiles for one pic and dodges the other, she back-handed waved to the groupie, takes the swag bag, doesn’t take the food, and demands the bouncer give her entry. The swag was dad’s autobiography vol.1.  
“Duncan, you’re up. Remember you get to skip the lame-ousine and half the red carpet. And action!” He spits on the cam girl and then breaks the paparazzi’s camera, fingers the autograph, gives his number to the groupie, knocks the tray out of the waiter's hands, and breaks the bouncer.  
“Next.” Beth goes only to lose her glasses due to the flash of a camera. She tries to recover only to get caught by another flash and then scared by the autograph causing her to break the fan photographer.  
“Rock ‘n’ roll.” Harold goes next and starts off with three tries to get the right hand signs for rock ‘n’ roll. He walks slowly and the first flash of the camera goes off.  
“Get on with it, Doris.” Duncan causes him to cry and karate chop all of the other obstacles right into dad’s arms. He looks annoyed as he comforts him.  
Lindsay was next and she started out strong. She posed for the photographers, sighed the autograph, hugged the groupie, took the swag, a shirt with dad’s face on it, gave it to the groupie, took a sandwich, and seduced her way past the bouncer. Dad gives her a thumbs up.  
I was last to go.  
/”There’s a difference between being on stage and the red carpet. One I can move and the other I can’t.” I say with a smile.\  
I start out and smile for the cameras doing different, cute, poses and move on, I sign the autograph, take a pic with the groupie, take the swag and the sandwich, and the Bouncer disappears as I approach. Dad and I share a knowing look.  
“And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for.” Chef handed dad a yellow envelope as we all stood outside backstage. “The photographic evidence. Let’s see your best shots shall we? Courtney ducks. Duncan socks. Beth slipped. Harold… if that’s not a cry for help, I don’t know what is. Lindsay posed. And Kaylub…” his nose starts to bleed, but he quickly wipes it away. “Wins.” I notice him pocketing my photo before slipping the others back into the casing.  
“How is that possible? I did the best job avoiding the paparazzi.”  
“Who said you were supposed to avoid the photog? Paparazzi means exposure and both Lindsay and Kaylub exposed. Kaylub just left a stronger mark. You know it.” His teeth sparkle. “Kaylub wins an advantage for the next part of the challenge where you’ll compete for invincibility.” I smirk at her.  
“Dad, why’d you pocket my photo?” I ask as we’re heading to the next set. The others were far behind us so I didn’t worry.  
“Because you’re my cute little boy, and it’s going in the memory book.” I blush and am so tempted to hit him, but I know they’d see. He just laughs knowing I can’t retaliate.  
“Finally, the ultimate rock star challenge.Trashing the hotel room.” We were in a set that looked like a hotel room. “You’ve got 30 seconds on the clock with Kaylub getting an additional ten seconds for having won the first part of the challenge. And action.” He runs off screen and we start trashing the place… some of us better than the others.  
Beth and Harold barely did any damage. Lindsay was busy bouncing on the bed. Duncan destroyed stuff using the palm tree. I knocked over a few stuff, not one for destruction, and tipped over the couch, only to hide behind it as Courtney comes in and goes ballistic. She was holding the bed over her head with Lindsay on it when Dad returned.  
“Time! Kaylub, you now have an additional ten seconds. Go!” He looks to where I am hiding behind the couch. I motion to the state of the room as the back wall falls. “I see your predicament. Thanks to Courtney, there’s nothing left to destroy. Which means… Courtney wins ‘invincibility’.”  
“Yes!”  
“Now, you’ve got to decide who gets booted from the band.”  
“I wish we could vote off Courtney, she’s driving me ballistic.” I say as I was laying against Duncan’s chest. The two of us were in the trailer on his bunk.  
“Sadly, that isn’t happening, so which of the two friends are you voting for?” He asked while running his hands through my hair.  
“Honestly, I’m actually going to vote Courtney. I know she has immunity, but I really… really want to.” He chuckles which I can feel through the vibrations in his chest.  
“While you do that, I’m voting Lindsay. We’ll get rid of Courtney next time.” I nod agreeing with him. We remain silent as I hum a bit.  
“Now, for total drama.” We’re at the Gilded Chris Awards. “Six left, one must go. And it won’t be Courtney.” I can feel her glaring at me, but I know the others wouldn’t vote me off so I wasn’t bothered. I click on Courtney and sigh knowing I wasted a vote, but I couldn’t vote off Lindsay or Beth. Chef was back in his dress, how I missed seeing that.  
“Alright, the Gilded Chris award goes to… Courtney and Beth. Harold and Kaylub.” I look to Duncan who looks at me in panic. I take his hand in assurance. “Only one left. The final Gilded Chris goes to… Duncan. Lindsay’s going bye-bye.”  
“But Lindsay, Harold, and I voted for Duncan.” Beth and Harold look at me and I shake my head.  
“Not so. In fact what happened is a first for the show. A contestant accidentally voted themselves off.”  
“What?!” Lindsay calls out as Dad goes over to her.  
“Take a look. Unlike me, the camera never lies.” The camera shows her accidentally clicking on herself with her eyes closed as she was right below Duncan. I snort as Duncan outright laughs. “Lindsay, time for you to say sayonara.” She looked at him confused. “That means ‘goodbye’.” She gets up and walks away as Beth goes after her. The two talk before she leaves.  
“Bye. But don’t worry. Saying bye isn’t so bad because really it’s just a ‘hi’ with a ‘b’.” She waves and gets inside as we wave her off.  
“It’s so good to have you back.” Duncan says as we both cuddle on his bunk. Harold was currently in the bathroom.  
“I’m glad you missed me so much, Delinquent.”  
“You have no idea, shortstack.” We fall asleep soon after.


End file.
